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– Lisa
Today on Spark My Muse I’m featuring some of the work of Aundi Kolber and her much celebrated book Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode–and into a Life of Connection and Joy
My dad told me that trees have roots that go down as far as the tree is tall. That was an impressive statement and it stuck with me for a long time.
It was, of course, untrue.
He didn’t know much about trees. He was, by his own admission, a “city boy”.
I don’t blame him; lots of people think tree roots go deep.
They don’t.
Any photo of a knocked down tree makes it clear.
See? Roots go out not down. (The mistake about roots becomes pointedly obvious.)
Tree roots reach out, not down.
Roots aren’t so much much like anchors hold the tree to the ground, but rather more like feet planted in the soil, in all directions, to create stability and nourishment. They can extend nearly as long as a tree is tall.
The California Redwoods seem even more impressive now, don’t they?
Forests are interconnected places where trees stretch out their roots and touch the other trees nearby, below the surface.
A web of root holds a forrest together as if the trees are playing a long game of forest footsie.
The takeaway:
Like the myth of tree roots, the roots of community don’t go down either–in ideal circumstances. Instead, they go out, or the forest dies.
On Sunday, I’ll go back to church for the first time in 2 months. My work schedule has kept me away, but I’m happy to go back and remember everything I need to remember all over again:
• Who I am in God, in community, and in the scope of human history and the Church worldwide and over the course of eons.
Maybe I’ll learn something new about me, or about church (God’s people), or about what sacred ritual does for me.
I haven’t been separated from this weekly occurrence (for this long) in over 20 years. I’m wondering what it’ll be like to go back. (The next post -or a short series- will get into that.)
My thoughts are forming like questions:
• Will I sense the roots of others stretching out to meet me?
• Will my absence have been noticed at all? (If a tree falls in a forest…er, um, never mind.)
• Will everything be the same or nothing, or will I be the only one who has changed?
• Will I realize how much I’ve missed it, or be surprised that it hasn’t mattered like I thought it would or should?
• Am I really part of a forest, or am I more like a lone tree on a hill?
Whatever happens, I want to be the tree that stretches out into the stream, into the living water, for nourishment and life.
Jeremiah17:7-8 “Blessed is the [one] who trusts in the LORD And whose trust is the LORD. “For [s]he will be like a tree planted by the water, That extends its roots by a stream And will not fear when the heat comes; But its leaves will be green, And it will not be anxious in a year of drought Nor cease to yield fruit.
I used to think that people got better as they aged. They learned things and got more mature, and became better people.
As a kid, especially, I thought of how little I knew in comparison to my mom and dad, and other adults. I was changing and learning and growing in every way, every day–and I just supposed that growth and improvement were part of the deal in exchange for aging, and not being able to pull off wearing trendy clothes anymore and loose fitting skin.
Nope.
Now, of course, I realize that maturity has very little to do with time spent alive.
Hurts happen.
Wounds can fester.
People can grow bitter and nasty.
People can stay petty and insecure.
They can get lodged in a cell of shame and self-protect or start a habit of attacking others.
True maturity is rare.
Wisdom is a gift received through awareness and often through suffering, but it is not a pension that is received across the board and acquired like Medicare.
Time can work you over like a expert boxer works over a fresh challenger with body blows.
Nevertheless, there is a kind of measure you can employ to see where you stand.
Of course, the temptation will be to first, or more thoroughly, measure others with it. (The more the temptation to do it, or actually doing it, means what? Can you guess? Yes, the more you lack on the scale.)
9 Categories Measure True Maturity:
• love
• joy
• peace
• patience
• kindness
• goodness
• faithfulness
• gentleness
• self-control
Now, on a scale of 1 to 10, how are you doing?
All 10s?
If you’ve noticed some gains and big improvements in these 9 qualities over the last few years, you are getting more mature!
If others have noticed, you might actually be right.
If you sense some problems with a few (or more) of them, then you might be stuck in arrested or delayed development. Ultimately we all should try to grow up…
BUT, that’s not to say “grow old” … There’s a big difference.
The surprise twist is that a spiritually (and in all other ways) mature person usually has a youthful timelessness to himself or herself.
Mature people have a humility that keeps them in a state of learning and growing. They don’t allow themselves to take themselves too seriously or suffer from sustained flare-ups of self-importance. So, in them you see a lack of arrogance, self-righteousness, or aloof disposition.
What should you do if you don’t measure up?
1. Admit it.
2. Ask for help (from God and others).
3. Keep trying and learning as you go.
4. Never think “I’ve made it!” or “I’m better than someone else.”
Galatians 5:22-23
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
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