Tag: ministry

Followup on “Sexy Worship” Post

Photo of "corporate worship" (not a person in a bar waving "hello"...I think.)

By way of followup to the previous post, it’s probably wise to broach the topic of corporate and individual worship more thoroughly. Please note that the earnestness of this post topic is best served (here, in this venue, anyway) when swathed in a modicum of levity.

This time around, I’d like to discuss this, not just post my thoughts. I see a great benefit in conversation here; and saw it already and especially over at Stand Firm in the Faith: Anglicanism in America. There, Matt Kennedy covered my recent article (On Being Embarrassed When Worship Songs Seem Sexual). I appreciated reading the several dozen responses, and found most of them helpful. You can also read them here. After you reflect on this topic, whether you read the other responses or not, I hope you too will respond with your own thoughts or insights on the matter.

As I mentioned in the last post, personal worship and devotional practices, such as involvement in literature (biblical or otherwise), poetry, songs, and psalms may have a decidedly personal angle (or perspective) as relating to God. Also, it’s not just a contemporary convention that worship “songs” (most of which are prayer-like in structure and form) focus on the individual rather than, or at the expense of, the corporate church assembly.

The Romantic period gave us plenty of examples of this phenomena in art and literature. Even earlier, John Donne offered up intimate imagery within various genres. One example is his Holy Sonnet 14.

 John Donne (1572-1631)

Holy Sonnet XIV:

Batter my heart, three-person’d God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

It seems, this sonnet, and countless other early examples of a similar sort, were not meant for corporate participation. This stands in contrast to the worship songs sung within church groups these days. Nevertheless, these works provide vehicles for deeper communion with God. They may easily benefit our spiritual formation.

At  Stand Firm in the Faith, Carl wrote:

The Bridal Imagery in Scripture is predicated upon a collectivized image the Church.  It cannot and should not and must never be personalized.

This offers an excellent point to consider. I’ve heard many minters tell their audience that church is about worship (not performances, decor, fellowship, good preaching, etc.). Haven’t you? We may quickly assume, though, that church should be about our worship experience. Instead it is centered on the Church–the people Christ has saved–offering adoration to the Creator and Savior, whether we are conscious of it, or not.

Incidentally, worship happens with Christians past, present, and future, which is another reality we miss with regularity. So, it’s a Christian worldview, not merely a reduction of that. Worship mustn’t be viewed chiefly as an opportunity of personal expression to God, Jesus…and Spirit. Therefore, if worship is selfish, it’s not worship (of God) at all.

The Christian mystics throughout Christian history may have seen this sort of intimacy differently. This will take some research for me to know for sure, but if any of you have insights here, please share them. I would deeply appreciate it.

A crucial question to ask ourselves, or to those we minister: Is corporate worship intimate to compensate for a lack of intimate personal devotional practices, and a deepening relationship with God?

What about you:
Are your times of personal devotions usually more or less intimate than your corporate worship times?

“Not Alone”: Autumn and Mental Illness (Part III)

In our darkest moments it’s difficult to shake the feeling of aloneness. God may seem so hidden.

In those worst times several things have helped me devotionally and/or spiritually. One of them is the power of community. I use the strength and prayers of others as my own. I may read (and pray) the lamenting scriptures (like Psalms) when I feel too spiritually dry or weary to pray. I agree with the prayers of others for me and hold those prayers in my heart. When I can’t find the words, or feel the feelings I’d like to I share in the source and inheritance of the community of Believers for strength that is beyond grasp for me alone.

Today, I am listing two resources that are very helpful for this. Maybe you know someone in the middle of a dark, weary, or dry time. Maybe you are there yourself. You may feel quite alone. Strangely, that feeling itself can teach us. Since God’s presence is everywhere, that potent sense of alienation that overtakes our heart can refine in us the faith that does not come through our senses. We can have a “knowing place” even if we feel otherwise numb.

The first resource book is a collection of stories from people who have felt alone in the throes of depression. Together, they harmonize in a chorus of hope, and in the reality of the provision of our Creator. I think you will appreciate their entires.

The second resource is one I’m reading now. I’ll include a few quotes, I’ve read recently, to give you a sense of the power of this book–both for understanding or ministering to those suffering from the pain of mental illness, or for a tether of grace sustaining your hope for a brighter day in recovery from your present darkness.

Forgetfulness deprives our consciousness of great solace…my memories give me hope.  p 90

Any coherence in the midst of chaos, any sense in the midst of nonsense, in the work of God. p110

…[W]e really have to admit that all our love and all our hopes are ultimately borrowed for God anyway. p116

Please share your thoughts.

Do you have a song of lament today in your heart? You have permission to share it here.

Psalm 10

1 O Lord, why do you stand so far away?
Why do you hide when I am in trouble?
2 The wicked arrogantly hunt down the poor.
Let them be caught in the evil they plan for others.
3 For they brag about their evil desires;
they praise the greedy and curse the Lord.

4 The wicked are too proud to seek God.
They seem to think that God is dead.
5 Yet they succeed in everything they do.
They do not see your punishment awaiting them.
They sneer at all their enemies.
6 They think, “Nothing bad will ever happen to us!
We will be free of trouble forever!”

7 Their mouths are full of cursing, lies, and threats.[a]
Trouble and evil are on the tips of their tongues.
8 They lurk in ambush in the villages,
waiting to murder innocent people.
They are always searching for helpless victims.
9 Like lions crouched in hiding,
they wait to pounce on the helpless.
Like hunters they capture the helpless
and drag them away in nets.
10 Their helpless victims are crushed;
they fall beneath the strength of the wicked.
11 The wicked think, “God isn’t watching us!
He has closed his eyes and won’t even see what we do!”

12 Arise, O Lord!
Punish the wicked, O God!
Do not ignore the helpless!
13 Why do the wicked get away with despising God?
They think, “God will never call us to account.”
14 But you see the trouble and grief they cause.
You take note of it and punish them.
The helpless put their trust in you.
You defend the orphans.

What Parents of Disabled Children Wish You Knew (Part II)

Doing Church

Did you know that Church and Relationship are synonyms?

This Thursday was the second week in a row that we had a friend come to play with Nathan. Michael is a year ahead of Nathan at his school. Michael, too, has autism and its noticeable in different and similar ways (more on that some other time). He’s an only child, and making friends is tough. It’s not natural for him, but the opportunities are few as well. Together, we’re changing that.

Having him and his mom here felt like ‘doing church’ in the most wonderful of ways. Their visit warmed my heart. “Church,” in this case, means that it’s the first time in much too long where I could tell that I, no we, were living life together. We were enjoying a deeper connection and community in a natural way. In ways we all hope for when we go to church. It feels like coming home with supper waiting for you. It consists of acceptance, warts, and joys, and all. The common was somehow sacred this Thursday.

My hope it that Michael always knows he’s fully accepted and valued here. He is. I’ve made a kind of internal vow for our home to be a safe and loving place for him to be himself. He’s picked up on that. If his mom’s work schedule allows they’ll be over again this Thursday. He says, “We have a meeting.”

I’ll try to put up some video soon, because the way these two boys interact is so hilarious and sweet, and I know you’ll love it.

Make Your Home “church”
Here are some tips, if you’d like to make your home a welcoming environment for a child with autism, so a visit is something to look forward to and enjoy. (Share this information with your children.)

• Structure. Don’t expect that a child visiting will just play. Or do well if there are toys and game around. For kids, with autism anyway, most must learn simple social skills and interactions and adapt through practice. It’s really awkward at first for them. But, it gets figured out through process. You might want to create something, cook something, or play a short game, all together. Doing something with a beginning, middle, and end will add sense to the visit for them. A free play or open-ended style of interactions won’t lend to a high quality visit.

• Time limit. When Michael visits, he likes to stay for 60-75 minutes. He tells us when he wants to go. This is great, but not all kids will know when enough is enough. This can be hard on everyone involved. Plan the get-together with a defined time frame–from the outset. I suggest 45 mites to start (this depends on the child. 30 minutes for a young child might be better). Later you can move to up to 90 minutes. But play for over 2 hours, or trying for an open ended meet up can be counter-productive. A defined time slot things end on a high note, and it’s fairly easy to prepare for the visit.

• Provide goodies. Ahead of time, ask if there are food preferences or allergy issues, and then make sure to offer a snack and beverage. Food is powerful. Use it wisely.

• Ask Questions. Make an effort to interact personally a few times. Ask a “yes” or “no” question, or an “either/or” question, and indicate your interest and acceptance right away, and along the way. Don’t expect anything, just do it. If it falls flat, try again in a little bit. Be Patient. Children are more like gardens than firecrackers. (So cultivate, rather than expect a dazzling display from a brief “matching”.)

• Issues of Eye Contact and Touch We take these social things for granted and generally know what is acceptable with others, and when and where eye contact and touch it is acceptable. Many disabled children do not. They may kiss you all of a sudden, or never even glance at you. Don’t expect them to make eye contact, and don’t try to touch them unless it seems very obvious that they wouldn’t mind. (Realize that for some kids, it feels painful to be touched. Yes, painful. Same goes for eye contact.) That being said, once I’ve built trust, I find kids really appreciate and respond well to a hand on the shoulder or back, or light pressure/touch on the arm, and they warm up to me very quickly. Since sometimes others are afraid to touch them (because they’ve seen big reactions), or because they don’t have friends they interact with closely, they are sort of touch-starved. Acceptable and respectful touch will establish trust. It’s surprising.

• Notice Stuff. Maybe mention that they look good in red, they are wearing cool shoes, or that they’re getting big and strong. See them. Then, say something to let them know. This shows them that they matter to you. Make concrete comments (facts) to them, about them. It gives them a sense of personhood, or place…at the table, if you will.

• Talk to the parents. This might seem obvious, but I’m always surprised at how much the parents of disabled children feel relieved to interact and relax with conversation and company. Encourage this. They don’t often get to “feel human” because of all the stress that goes along with caring for their child. (They’re “going” or “on” all the time. It’s exhausting.)

• Follow Up. Plan ahead for the next time, soon. Set up something that day, or within a week, to have another time together. If we don’t do this, it falls off our radar. Use a pen and mark the calendar. Consistency is key.

Are you “doing church” with anyone? Why or why not?

Verse of Reflection: 

Matthew 25:44-45 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

Questions, comments, suggestions?

“Mad as a Hatter” (Autumn & Mental Illness Part II)

Crazy? (Well, it was the cat's idea.)

Think of all the words we have for people who suffer mental illness.

Mad, insane, out of one’s mind, deranged,demented, not in one’s right mind, crazed, lunatic, non compos mentis, unhinged,mad as a hatter, mad as a March hare; informal: mental, nutty, nutty as a fruitcake, luny, nuts, whacko, off one’s rocker, not right in the head, round/around the bend, raving mad, batty,bonkers, cuckoo, loopy, ditzy, loony, bananas, loco, with a screw loose, touched,gaga, not all there, out to lunch, crackers, nutso, out of one’s tree, wacko, gonzo…

What did I miss?

Stigma maybe? Uhm. yep.

For some reason, in Autumn it seems like more pronounced incidents of mental illness symptoms surface. Maybe it’s just that I notice it more because I start to hunker down for winter.

Who is “mental”? The unexplainable is quickly isolated as “not good enough”. It’s easier to plug in a label or term, than to empathize.

In truth, any one of us may be”diagnosable” for some period of time in a given month. We may not persist with symptoms long enough to need intervening treatment, but if we are human, we are prone, at some point, to have an unhealthy mind. For some, a lack of noticeable symptoms can make it harder to get help.

For example:
Take a person addicted to pornography: Addiction is unhealthy in the mental/psychic capacity. Through this or any addiction, a person may become attached to unhealthy behaviors, thoughts, and actions, and then digress to mental instability and illness without anybody really knowing until the problem is truly unmanageable, or it has reaped awful consequences. On the other hand, a person having a schizophrenic episode and enduring auditory hallucinations, may quickly signal to others that medical assistance and support is needed. Stat.

The bigger question is which kinds of mental illness do we prefer?

We know much more about the brain, in 2011. We don’t assume someone with epilepsy has demons we should exorcise, or that some one who is hallucinating needs to be discipled and punished so they will stop at once. Many more people understand that if a person has a sick brain, they aren’t trying to. Though a proper diet and exercise can be helpful, they can’t think or will their illness away…otherwise they would. Just like a person with a broken leg cannot un-break his leg by thinking, “This disfunction and pain is fiction, so I think I’ll take a jog!”

Medications create the chemistry needed so many people can feel well again both mentally and physically. Without help, the pain–both physical pain and inner psychic pain–can be thoroughly unbearable. Something like brushing tea or getting up from bed may be too enervating, because it all truly hurts that badly. Too many take their lives because of feeling that there is no help or remedy. The illness simply is–and there is no escape, but one most terrible.

Bi-Polar Disorder (formerly called Manic-Depressive Disorder) is a brain chemistry condition in which the person endures major shifts (or polar opposite shifts) in mentality, mood, and behavior. The high end is termed “Mania” and the low end is termed “Depression”. I covered the symptoms of Depression in the last post.

Here are the Symptoms of Mania

(3 or more of these following symptoms for 14 days or more, or if the symptoms interfere with a person’s regular life, constitute Mania)

• Increased physical and mental activity and energy

• Extreme optimism and self-confidence

• Exalted self-importance

• Irritability, aggressiveness

• Decreased need for sleep

• Pressure speech and thoughts

• Impulsiveness and reckless behavior (spending money, risking behavior, driving, sex, substance abuse, etc.)

• Delusions (thinking things that aren’t real or true) and hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that aren’t there)

As I read the lists of symptoms and mental sicknesses in Kathryn Green-McCreight’s book (See the Book here.)…friends, acquaintances, family members, neighbors, and so forth, came to mind. Some have mental illness mildly; others endure it severely. Some self-medicate with various substances in order to cope. Nearly all of them are misunderstood, unaided…and (formally) undiagnosed. Imagine, if they could feel comfortable enough to get help, emotional support, and medicine, to feel better…

Is there anyone you wish would get help?

In the next part of this series, I’ll go over the symptoms of Schizophrenia, and helpful options for support, pastoral care, and aid for people with mental illnesses.

I appreciate your comments. And as always, you can post anonymously, if you’d like.

Autumn & Mental Illness (Part 1)

bi-polar MacBeth art (by Wiktor Sadowski)

Is Autumn ‘Mental Illness Season’?
It seems like Autumn and Mental Illness come as a pair, sometimes. From what I’ve been able to observe, if one’s going to suffer with something mentally, it’ll usually be between September-Februrary. Seriously, have you noticed this? Think back. Let me know. Is it not enough sunlight? Too many emotionally taxing holidays? Too chilly? Something with barometric pressures? I don’t know. But, let’s get on the same page.

What is Good Health vs. Normal Health?
If you’re healthy and you get a cold once in a while, you’re normal. If you get colds more frequently, you’re “a bit sickly”…but still, mostly, normal. What about if instead of a headache, sore throat, breathing troubles, and cough, it is your brain that “gets a cold”?

There is no reason to believe that the brain (with regards to chemistry, function, nutrition, environmental influences, etc) won’t be susceptible to maladies too, just like other parts of the body are. Science shows us clear indicators of genetic components. So, one can be prone to bad knees, or tendonitis, or sympathetic nervous system brain issues that make one prone to panic attacks, etc.

Of course, when one’s brain is ill, things can go badly quickly. For instance, one may be one’s worst advocate to resume health or find healing, if it is thinking which is impaired. Somehow, the brain (or we could say the “mind”: feelings/emotions + reason/intellect) gets tossed to another category when we think of the frailties of human illness. Saying you “sprained your brain” isn’t met with the same sympathy as saying you sprained your back, am I right?

Do We Love the Mentally Ill?
It’s an “untouchable,” or at least uncomfortable, category where someone’s inherent worth, inclusion in community, or spiritual devotion can be called into question. “Aw, uncle Boss? Sure he did that, he’s been more nuts ever since his time in the military…”

It’s a category we may fear or avoid talking about. Lines separating sane and insane get drawn. Such determinations sideline love, undermine grace, and even harm the true gospel message. Being “crazy” means that some one is alone in a special way. The numbers of Homeless who have a history of severe mental illness is about 25% (2009 National Coalition for the Homeless study).

So, if someone has brittle bones, falls, and breaks both legs? He’ll probably get more compassion or understanding than someone prone to mental illness who undergoes a bout with mania ending in a spending spree. Am I right?

The facts tell us that mental illnesses happen, more “normally” than we may care to imagine. Yet, it is those who are ill in the brain who feel so isolated and rejected during their tough times, compared to people who suffer in other ways.

For my Disability Studies class, I’m reading and learning not just about physical, and mental development impairments (wheelchairs and special education folks), but also of brain illness (mental illness). These are all people of the margins. Truly.

Darkness is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness, by Kathryn Greene-McCreight (Brazos Press 2006), is one of my course texts. I highly recommend it. Kathryn manages her Bipolar disorder, is theologian (Yale), an associate Episcopal priest, and a captivating writer.

See the Book.

Depression is one of the most common brain chemistry issues. By the year 2020, depression will be the 2nd most common health problem in the world. Read the rest of the Fast Fact Statistics here.

Here are the Symptoms of Depression from Greene-McCreight’s book, page 170.

5 or more of these 13 symptoms over a 14 day period, or if these symptoms interfere with a person’s normal life is considered Mental Illness or in this case, specifically, Depression.

• Major changes in appetite or sleep patterns

• Uncharacteristic irritability, anger

• Feeling sad, crying more than usual

• Worries, anxieties

• Pessimism, feelings of failure

• Loss of energy, libido

• Unexplained physical aches and pains

• Hopelessness, guilt

• Inability to concentrate or make decisions

• Inability to carry out or care about personal hygiene (showering, brushing teeth, etc.)

• Lack of enjoyment in things formerly enjoyed

• No desire to socalize

• Recuring thoughts of death or suicide

Has this ever been you, or someone you know?

Probably.
See, it’s fairly “normal”.

What are some ideas for helping those with mental illness? Your input is vital for this conversation. Thank you for your contributions, and spreading the word.

Here’s a Resource: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance 
800-826-3632 

In Part II of this series, I’ll cover the symptoms of Mania and Schizophrenia…and more is to come.