Tag: pain

Vulnerable = Lovable

It’s always an honor to hear someone really share their pain. Not wallow, mind you. Not over-exposing their fiery emotions and gory  details. Something real and raw from a tender and seldom seen place.

The heartfelt wounds that still hurt from some kind of past or unnoticed pain. The cries of the heart. The reaching out to be heard, and then the comfort realized.

It always strikes me that at the very time when someone is most revealed and open they are at the same time supremely vulnerable and yet exquisitely lovable.

Truly human. It’s not just an honor because it is so rare …(it happens usually through time and trust and other options are unfavorable)…it’s an honor because there is within that moment a genuine glimpse of glory.

“The glory of God revealed is the human most fully alive.” -Irenaeus of Lyons

We have a rebirth–a fully alive moment–in those sort of times: Vulnerability through the struggles and between destinations. There the messy becomes beautiful. Redeemed.

Even though it feels really risky, the chance to be truly seen and heard in our vulnerability engenders compassion because what is common between us transcends the boundaries that keep us isolated.

—

More soon! Get fresh content sent to your email. click the new content link on the right sidebar.

Blogging Moratorium

Yes, this is the start of a Blog Moratorium in Tribute to the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre , but for personal refletion too.

It doesn’t get past me that just as I gear up to spend 13 weeks teaching about the Problem of Evil a horrifying massacre of 6-7 year olds and their teachers and staff occurs.

I have a lot of information about how Evil works right on tap. But, I just can’t go there.

I know that we all react in shock about events such as these. We ask, “How could Evil be so close and innocence shattered so senselessly?” There is rage, anger, hatred. Emotions aplenty. And I know too that Evil runs right down each one of us too. It’s never merely “out there” or far off. If so labeled it shifts, it seeps, amorphous and eludes being so easily understood or classified.

The pain is so raw. The horror so near. The terror so frightening.

A nightmare.

Too soon people have started barking about gun control, and mentioning mental illness, and our crumbling society …all looking for reasons to make it all go down easier. But, right now, I’m just heartbroken. The weight of the brokenness of the world is here and present. Christmas is coming, and yet we lie ruined. Truly ruined. Hope feels like a faint whisper barely intelligible. A wisp.

I’m taking off for a few days. No blog posts. I’m going to reflect. Quietly. By myself. Away from it all and on the interior. Before the year is out, I’ll make another appearance. Thank you for your prayer for me at this time too for things I won’t mention at this time.

In the meantime, join me in prayer for the community and families of those affected by this violence.

Dear God,

Soothe our broken hearts.

How much pain, O’ God!

We cry out in agony…undone.

Have mercy on us

Bring us peace.

Bind up our wounds

Wash us with your Grace.

Grant us the strength to carry on 

And the resolve to not give up

Renew our hope in you and grant that we may forgive

So we ourselves are spared more pain.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Amen

The boon of a “spiritual autobiography”

The challenge is to grow, right? For leaders and creators this can be a genuine existential issue.

That’s because once you “get stuck” your work suffers. When that happens, you suffer.

Plus, the double whammy. Lots of us bolt when we hit the first BIG obstacle on our journey of personal growth….pain. (obviously because it hurts, duh, right?)

Can you be brave enough to look inside your heart/mind and see things you don’t want to, or feel long-buried pain? Can I?

That’s the challenge that this next exercise can dredge up.

You may not think you have the time for it. But, since your baggage goes with you, like it or not, there comes a time to choose life and growth. Now is that time. I’m doing this right along with you.

The pain of being stuck and stymied will at some point outweigh the pains inherent in growth. (Pay now or pay more later.) But, with that growth is new-found relief and a greater understanding of one’s self. A bona fide Victory. And it also means you have more to give in your work and in your relationships. You will have a greater ability to triumph in adversity and accept love more fully. And you will even become less reactionary to perceived or actual threats (This is also commonly referred to as maturity, but who’s counting, right?) This is all a boon, my friends. Just you wait and see!

An angry person is a hurt person and unhealed person. Take a look around, if that doesn’t describe you, it describes someone nearby.
(I try to remember this information when I read so much rubbish on the interwebs….or when I find myself far too frustrated–that is to say, in need of healing and growth.)

So, come with me in the next few days, and weeks, and let’s do this together.

Oh, please, do the 90 second exercise in the previous post, and set it aside, if you haven’t done it yet. If you have, this is the time to pull it out and slowly read over your answers for a bit. Mull them, note your insights. Then, onward!

Start thinking about creating this very useful tool you will fashion: Your Spiritual Autobiography.

Guidelines for Writing Your Spiritual Autobiography
Your story is your own; no one else can tell it. Below are some more ideas/exercises to help you consider your spiritual life, and how you may wish to write about it. It’s not a story of your life, or a timeline of people, places, and events, but rather a crafted personal account of what and who have made you who you are now.

To start creating your “Spiritual Map”….Identify and list the places in which important things have happened to you.

Spiritual Encounters with Others

Who are the three or four people who have had the greatest impact on your life? Why?

1.
2.
3.
4.

Experiences which Shaped You

What are two or three important experiences in your life? Why are they important to you? As you look back, do you see traces of God’s presence with you at those times?
1.
2.
3.

Impactful Communities
Which communities, religious or not, have had a lasting influence on your development?

Significant Choices

Think of the important decisions in your life. Discuss what they meant to you, how they were made, and the results.

Highlights and Low Points
List a few of the happiest and saddest experiences of your life.

Happiest
1.
2.
3.

Saddest
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

A Master Story

Each of us has a “master story,” a theme that summarizes our life endeavor so far. See if you can recognize your master story. What might be a theme for your life thus far? If your life were a book, what might the title be? How about the title of the chapters you have lived so far, and are living right now?

Don’t worry about what this means for the future, just yet. Stay with your thoughts about your life up until now.

Did anything surface that surprised you?

Is there anything you need to grieve about?

In a week or two, we’ll revisit this. Thanks for taking this on! I’m lucky to have you along for this wild ride.

Love Deeply (from Henri Nouwen’s Journal)

I’m getting so much out of this little book!

(I really recommend getting a copy. I saw one on Amazon for $1.50 (used). What a bargain!)

Henri Nouwen gathered his thoughts and pennend notes for his personal use during a difficult 6 months of reflection and healing. They were meant as private notes, but after 8 years a few friends encouraged him to have them organized and published sensing other soul searchers would be encouraged by them. His pain is often palpable and humble and his words are like food for kindred spirits. I’m grateful he was so brave.

page 59

Love Deeply
Do not hesitate to love and to love deeply. You might be afraid of the pain that deep love can cause. When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful. It is like a plow that break the ground to allow the seed to take root and grow into a strong plant. Every time you experience the of rejection, absence, or death, you are faced with a choice. You can become bitter and decide no to love again, or you can stand straight in your pain and let the soil on which you stand become richer and more able to give life to new seeds.

The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. They will become part of your self and thus gradually build a community within you.

Those you have deeply love become part of you. The longer you live, there will always be more people to be loved by you and to become part of your inner community. The wider your inner community becomes, the more easily you will recognize your own brothers and sisters in the strangers around you. Those who are alive within you will recognize those who live around you. The wider the community of your heart, the wider the community around you. Thus the pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

Secrets to Up-cycling Worry, Part 3

Although the act and habit aof worry may come from biological sources, retraining our habits can move us from worry (negative) toward meditation (positive). Make sure to check out the difference and similarities between the two that are shown in visual form in the last post.

Use these three words to start retraining yourself.

STOP.

VISUALIZE.

REMEMBER.

Stop.
This means the second you realize that you’re caught in a “Worry Spiral” put yourself on pause.  Try to back out of this cycle and see it for what it is. Imagine yourself 3 years from now. Ask yourself ” Is the situation really worthy of the heavy cost that worry will bring me?” How else could I respond? What lie might I be believing as I worry?

Visualize.
This has helped me quite a bit. When I feel stuck in my worry. I to imagine that I’m pulling out all my worry from me, like a bunch of crumpled, dirty paper chunks. Then I imagine handing over to Jesus to hold. He takes what I give and it changes into light. Give it a try for yourself. It’s form of prayer. Or think of something that would help you more than my example. What could you repeatedly visualize to hand over your worry? Go back to this each time you are caught in a Worry Spiral. Note how you feel before and after do this.

Remember.
Remember you are walking with God. There is no place God is not. Each time you practice handing over your worry to God it will be easier to remember to do it when needed in the future. What other ways can you remember to center your repeated thoughts to not spiral but instead revolve around our loving and all-powerful God?

In the Old Testament thousands of everyday and seasonal reminders where built into the Jewish culture to be ever mindful of God’s provision, care, presence, goodness, and love. From food, to ways of dress, to festivals, to rituals, and much more various reminders where infused into life. We don’t live the same way now, but we can bring in our new, personal remembrances.

What have you done lately to break your “worry spiral”?