spiritual formation Archives - Page 26 of 28 - Lisa Colón DeLay

How do we decide things?

Many of us weigh the decisions we make against the consequences that may happen. For instance, a financially desperate person might say, “I need money, but if I rob a bank, I’ll surely get caught.” A person with a more developed sense of morality may instead reason, “I need money, but that money is not mine to take.” Either way, some kind of assessment of right and wrong takes place, or at the very least pragmatics, which is the determined usefulness, or useful outcome of a particular action (like robbing a bank.)

Pragmatics gets down into the everyday choices, and can be the default setting for our choices. It’s like a common denominator. But really it’s not very good ethics that drives those kinds of decisions. Instead it is only the perceived consequences at the wheel, steering the choice. While it may seem practical to decide something based on whether it will help or hurt, or be useful or not useful, there is a glaring flaw in this method.

What is it? Simply put, we can never truly know the actual consequences of our choices, or their ramifications which lay in the future. What may seem helpful, can hurt many, instead of help. Or, sometimes certain people are helped, while others suffer greatly. History is quite full of these sorts of examples, and we continue to repeat them.

We can abandon a foundation of pragmatics, (the consequential, illogical, ad hoc reasoning method of decision making) by choosing from an altogether better starting point. God. It sounds so simple, but I will not say it is. But, what I refer to is the ultimate ideal, outside ourself–perfection. (Think: Socrates’ model)

The reference of God “himself,” and the nature and Standard of our best choices actually resides in and with God. The best values, the best and most perfect way–that is the way of God. More than that, it is how reality is grounded. God is the ultimate reality. Yes, we won’t measure up. In about two seconds we won’t, to be honest. However, this is not the reason to head for pragmatics, and assume The Good is not possible, a worthy choice, or viable for a standard–or at least the aim, of our own choices. It is the goal of each of us to decide to not choose for ourselves, or for the consequence alone, but for what is the ultimate Good.

Weigh-in with your take, or insights. I realize this particular post is a lofty one. Yes, and idealistic!

ALSO-Please help me spread the word about this website. I would love to have more regular readers. Many thanks to those who’ve read today!

The Riddle of Low Self-Esteem

I’m going to start by saying the “answer” I give to solving this riddle, is quite real, but is not easy. I don’t claim there is but one answer, but it is surprising how transforming this surprising tact can be. This situation might be like telling a person what they need to stay fit. Once they have the information, it doesn’t mean it will happen. It doesn’t mean transformation to fitness will take place. It only means, if they truly put the information into practice regularly, will they see true change and results. I also offer that just as in fitness, results do not happen in a day, a week, or a month. It is more of a lifestyle. Change and “state of fitness” happens over a period of time–like a journey. The same is true for what I share with you.

I have often heard questions like, “How can I help my self-esteem and low self-worth?” What most people fail to realize is the truly universal problem a low view of self is. People may see others as confident, and assume they don’t have many doubts, or that others aren’t really acting out of a place of a compromised view of self. I venture to guess many bad decisions we make, and possibly most destructive behaviors come from an attitude, or some form of self-loathing. Yes, it’s a real problem, and a big one.

In most primary education schools, the big push is to raise self-esteem in hopes that a better views of self will generate more socially appropriate behavior, and ethically developed character. The teaching goes something like, “Kids, remember, this in your mind when you take a test. Cheating on a test will make me feel bad about my self.”

This reveals the anthropocentrism (human development-centered) of our efforts to both fix our problem of poor self-image, and to make ethical decisions based our our view of the world from a decidedly human perspective. In both cases we are helpless–stuck making very little ground. Or, the progress made is inconsistent, and can fluctuate based on our particular selfish motives, and short-sighted view at that moment of our ethical choice.

Strangely enough, we cannot start with thinking about ourselves to reclaim our value, or raise our poor self-esteem. For that, we must thrust our focus away from the defect, to the Standard, the Creator, and work from the Source, or the Top down. It might seem counter-intuitive to not think of yourself when you are attempting to better yourself, and that not entirely what I propose. I propose that we allow God to be the source of our esteem, and the foundation of our value.

The best way I have found to help me in this area–to increase my fitness–if you will, is to thoroughly enjoy God in worship. In him we live and move and have our being. This is no small idea. This is another way to frame Reality. (I believe it is the way the Bible offers it to us.) It starts with God, and adds us into the picture as part of God’s supporting cast, rather than us as the star of the show. In reality, life is a Story about God, and his love and enjoyment of us. And then our response to him. Often, we live out of the premise that life, as author Donald Miller has said it seems, “…like a movie about me, and I can prove it because I’m in every scene.”

One of the greatest benefits to adjusting (or I should say re-adjusting) to a theo-centric worldview, is that the pressure for defining self, and for generating self-esteem is not our task any longer. The pressure is off. Our worth is in our God who loves us and made us, and gave all to save us, so we could be healed, and restored. So, we are brought back to rightly, and happily living, and loving him and others again. And we also have the hope of the restored world beyond this one, in which the problems, injustice, and turmoil we cannot fix will be made good and right. This is God’s promise, and it rests in his perfect nature–which must be all-good, and all-just. God is our hope of hopes, both now and in times to come. Though this truth is not completely fathomable, it is knowable because we can sketch the contour of a perfect God, who created us, and is, in fact, not a part of our world and lives, but indeed, the very center of Reality.

This topic makes a great small group discussion that can promote spiritual introspection and growth. Use this post to generate an interesting discussion by sending a few friends here to read this post, and then chat about it together. (Also pastry and coffee helps the experience. I’ve tested it out!) Please weigh-in with some of the thoughts you came up with while you were together.

And if you can, please list a suggestion/s for worship. Thank you for reading.

Hi Jon's friends from SCL

If you’re visiting because of Jon’s Stuff Christians Like blog. I welcome you!

If not, um this might get a little awkward. (I’m trying to woo new readers, so talk amongst your selves for a sec., k?)

Anyway, I think Jon is a rock star. And by that, I don’t mean that he just has his mind on drugs, violence, sex, and music with a throbbing beat. I mean, I think he’s highly funny, clever, poignant, and says all the right stuff, so you can’t help but to really like him, for just being him.

If you enjoy him, you probably have a vivacious sense of humor. Perfect. Please look around, comment on posts, and know that I’m pretty much, wishing on a star that you’ll come back and read things here again soon. (I had put in here “kissing your buttocks,” but I thought that sounded needy and cheap. So, I took it out. I suppose I have to draw the line somewhere.)

I post 4 times per week, or more, so please drop by soon. One fun post I recommend to visit here, is the quiz that can determine if your soul can fit into a mailbox. Check that out. (You can do a search in the sidebar, when you scroll to the bottom of this page.) It’s a bad Cosmo Quiz meets a Christianity Today mini-article sort of thing. And golly, it’s cleared up a lot for soul-searching types of people so far.

Thank you for coming to visit. I feel like we’re practically best friends at this point-almost like we known each other for just years and years!

(Is this coming on too strong? Do you feel smothered? Well, you know, come by soon, we’ll talk. Or I can call you maybe. Or is that’s too much, too soon? Sorry. I’m being forward now. Right. You can…you know, just call me, I guess. I love you. Give me a call. Or, you know, whatever makes you feel comfortable. No pressure. Except… I just love you SO much. xoxo.)

New Page for which to be thankful-Gratitudes

I added the page above called Gratitudes. Consider it a spiritual practice when you visit to list a few things there, for which you are thankful. Gratitude doesn’t have to be reserved for an activity of counting our blessing, once in a while, like we do on Thanksgiving Day. It is a treasure hunting way to view our circumstances and seasons in life. In truth, it is a pathway to contentment. Thank you for participating.

School Project with tough questions for the church

I have lots of questions rolling around in my mind right now because of school. My project is to interview 2 leaders from two ministries or churches to find out how they approach spiritual formation/education in their contexts and among their community of believers. The questions are penetrating. Here are just a few:

“In what ways are the sacraments given or experienced that allow for a time of repentance and receiving from God?”

“How is spiritual remembering practiced, and the spiritual disciplines conveyed and taught that will help others imitate the life of Jesus.”

“How well are people able to share their brokenness, (addictions, temptations, grief, etc.) and able to begin healing within the body of believers?”

“Are new believers provided with guides and mentors?”

“How is corporate prayer accomplished to engender brokenness, recompense, transformation, and worship?”

How might your church do with these tough questions? (anonymous posts are fine)