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Smart Authors Balance Honesty and Transparency [Guest post by Warwick Fuller]

I met our next contributor in seminary. If you don’t know Warwick personally, it’s hard to describe him. Just reading his work one could get the false impression that he is just mildly eccentric, even understated. Don’t be fooled.

Warwick leaks out and away from every typical category. First of all, Warwick takes great pleasure in being unusual. He’s involved and conscientious. He makes frenzied gestures when he’s excited, his laugh is thoroughly concussive, and he devours books at vertiginous speed. He’s intense, yet surprises you with his sensitivity. He’s intelligent, but that doesn’t ever seem to help him for long. He’s both a marvel and a conundrum. I like him and I’ve learned a lot from him. Probably when it was least expected, and often where blood, or tears, or sweat has something to do with it. I’ve appreciated Warwick in the same way I grew to like dark lager. (In this curious photo, an unseen doctor checks Warwick for a mutant sty that developed after reading too many spiderman comics. Or, I made that last part up.)

Smart Authors Balance Honesty and Transparency
-by Warwick Fuller

We’ve just moved for the 4^th time in the past year. I just opened a box that was labeled desk stuff and found an old journal. How I approach my journal is different from my blog. My blog is mostly about my observations and the events going on in my life that are affecting me and the world around me. Because of my faith, these observations are thru a certain lens. I don’t think I’m bashful about that lens, but I am choosy about what I share in regards to that lens. I’m choosy about what I share about my family. I do know some of my readers. I don’t know all of them.

In blogging there are certain ideals, and those that post them well are the people that have a high traffic volume. Two of those ideals are honesty and transparency. In being honest, we can see the writer’s flaws, and the true humanity that is behind the words and stories. In being transparent, the writer becomes relatable. These are trust issues. A good author wants you to trust their work; wants you to understand and relate.

Being a smart author in such a personal medium is to know when to draw the line when it comes to transparency. For me there are a couple of rules that I have employed in my head to help.

Never paint your spouse/child/significant other in such a shade that they are degraded in the eyes of others. I never want others to regret what I write about them, especially my immediate family. It’s unfair; they never get to defend themselves on my page. The stories I do share about them that I question I always run by my wife first. If she feels uncomfortable then its off the table.
Never put your family in danger. Honestly, there are crazy people out there. My nana says more than there were when she was a kid. The post that draws the most attention to my blog is a picture of the Marvel Comic Family Tree (nerd alert), and I’m not sure who is being drawn in because of it. I am very careful in revealing certain details about where we are and what my kids are up to. I’m honest, just not naïve.
It’s ok to make yourself the butt of a joke, but be redeemable. Some reputations have been killed by what an author writes about himself on the interwebs. Some comedians make a life out of self-humiliation. I think that may be fine for others, but I want to be trusted by those who ask for my advice. Because of the line of work I am in, others count on my opinion and advice. I do not want that ruined by a misplaced, though true, story.
When in doubt, find a community to run your idea by first. I have a wife who is understanding and is intelligent. She also likes me, which helps when I tell her I want to put something on my blog. She’s god at asking the right questions that help me not just know what to put up but how and why. If you do not have a soundboard, then find one. Or at least, write down your post and revisit a week later, before you post it. This is just a good habit, anyway.
Be aware that the truth you find in your observations may not be what others saw. It’s the old joke about the blind men and the elephant. If you are writing about an event that took place, it’s not a bad idea to make sure you saw exactly what you saw. Ask others that were a part of it for their own observations. It makes a story round, and they can provide details you missed.
Don’t make yourself un-hirable. I have no idea what the future holds for me and my family. I do not want anything I’ve put up on my blog to put in jeopardy whatever God is leading us to next. Neither should you. A good reputation, to be trusted, is a desirable goal. I’ve heard better than silver and gold. Weigh your words and see if what you read is how you want people to see you.

So, fellow bloggers, how close an eye are you keeping on your words? What safeguards do you employ? Can you ever be too honest and open?

Bio: Warwick Fuller is a blogger at www.warwickfuller.wordpress.com. He names his pets after Anglican literary figures and wears bow ties. He is lead on his church’s Wednesday night Family Ministry, and is a USAR Chaplain. He is married with three daughters and lives in Harrisburg, PA.

Once upon a Niche…

Sometimes you find your niche. Sometimes a niche presents itself. And sometimes you get a bit of both and it feels like Paris in Springtime, which smells great and involves kissing (and I’ll just save that bit for some other post, or my dairy).

Finding one’s niche includes a merging of ingredients:

• Perparation

• Passion

• Education

• Opportunity

You put it all together and you make it with an “m” (for mission)

And you get patty cake instead of hokey pokey.

My niche is now helping and encouraging Creators and Communicators.

People who feel put on the planet to create things or communicate important things.

Have you found your niche yet?

Or would you like some encouragement or direction?

I’ve creating new resources for just that thing.

Tell us what you like to focus on or Leave a link so we can find your niche.

Why You Don’t Need Patience

Photo Credit: James Vaughan via Compfight

This is the 2nd consecutive month that I took a day for a prayer retreat at the same Jesuit Spiritual Retreat Center. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. This time I took a friend along. After we arrived, we went our separate ways, and met up later to talk a little about our insights, prayer time, and Scripture reading.

I’ll share one of them with you. I was struggling with some frustration and impatience. It’s mostly the ordinary stuff that involve being a mom, a wife, a writer, and the parent of a special needs boy. It’s the kind of thing that becomes distracting, and hinders my reactions, thoughts, and feelings toward my family. They might get the the spillover when I can’t handle the chaos of the day.

So, this was nagging at me to talk to God about, and I did just that. It didn’t hurt that I was sitting in the sun, and the pink trees was blossoming fully. I was ready to listen. And just as soon as I get it out I heard in my spirit, “It’s okay. You don’t have to be patient.” I didn’t saying or do anything, because it sounded absurd. Thankfully there was some followup, “You can draw from my patience. I have enough for you. You don’t need yours. You can use mine. Then, you won’t be so tired.”

I had to admit it sounded nice. It felt like freedom.

Pride and Popularity [Guest Post from Lisa Bartelt]

Here’s another Lisa, and an up-and-coming famous blogger sharing her frustrations of blogging. I was in a bunch of seminary classes and in student forum (government) with her husband Phil. Every time he’d say, “Well, Lisa… said or did this or that…” it would alway take a full three seconds for me to figure out that he couldn’t be talking about me. One of the first times it happened, I just stared at him in what must have looked like total confusion. Thankfully, he pieced it together for me. It turns out we have more in common than just the same first name. Enjoy.

Pride & Popularity

-by Lisa Bartelt

“I don’t read your book reviews, just like everyone else.”

Okay, so I know wounds from a friend can be trusted, but this wound was from my husband.

Ouch.

And he was talking about my blog.

Double ouch.

If his statement hadn’t been painfully true, then maybe I would have done more than laugh it off. But he was right. People aren’t reading my book reviews. Shoot, even when I give books away, I’m not getting a lot of traffic. In fact, the last time I hosted a book giveaway, I wondered if I was going to have to beg someone to take it. (Praise the Lord, I found some willing contestants, and even a winner. Can I get a “hallelujah”?)

I’ll admit it: I want to be popular. As a blogger. And as a person. I want “reach” and “impact” and all kinds of other blogosphere words I don’t know anything about. I want to one day wake up and have magically appeared on WordPress.com’s front page as a “freshly pressed” blog on which hundreds (thousands?) of people have clicked, liked or commented.

I’m not asking too much, right?

The problem, for me, is that blogging is not my day job (heck, it’s not even my night job!) and I suspect it takes more effort than I give to really “make it” in the blogosphere. (Total rabbit trail: that word weirds me out because I was a journalist in Illinois when Rod Blagojevich was governor and we used the word “Blagosphere” to describe the world he lived in. Rabbit trail over.)

Popularity may not be a bad goal, but it isn’t the best goal for a blogger, especially a blogger whose aim is to glorify Jesus.

Do you ever wonder why God didn’t send Jesus to earth now? I mean, if He wanted Him to be popular, there’s no time like the Information Age. Jesus might have had millions of Twitter followers, a hip happenin’ blog and more Facebook friends than dollars in the Mega Millions lottery pot.

If popularity was the goal, then Jerusalem 2,000 years ago was the wrong choice.

God intended something deeper than popularity, which is fleeting. Just think back to high school, or if that’s too painful, think about celebrities today who are popular one week and practically black-listed the next.

No, popularity can’t be our goal. Not if we want more than 15 minutes of fame.

My 2-year-old son recently went through a phase where he wanted me to sing him to sleep. Bear in mind, I have a voice that, while it does not cause dogs to howl, will not win me a spot on American Idol. I obliged, and it has turned into a nightly routine with both kids.

While there are days I think I’d like to have the adoration of millions of fans and fame of the “Idol” kind, I find most satisfying my son’s request: “Please, you keep singing?”

Maybe it’s pleasure we should seek.

“For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” – Philippians 2:13 (NASB)

A couple of weeks ago, my family was on vacation, and I was practically off the grid for 10 days. My Klout score actually went up during that period. (A case of absence makes the heart grow fonder?) Maybe it’s not really about me, after all.

William Featherston wrote these words in what would become the hymn My Jesus I Love Thee: “and praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath.”

As writers, we can carry that sentiment – I will write as long as You lend me the words — into our work, whether thousands of people read our blogs or just our moms and grandmas. (Hi, Mom!)

Lisa Bartelt is an award-winning journalist turned stay-at-home mom of two and soon-to-be pastor’s wife whose work has appeared in The One Year Devotional of Joy and Laughter. She blogs about books, kids, and Jesus at http://lmbartelt.wordpress.com.

After Easter / When the symbolism fails you

Easter and Thanksgiving are the times we’ve visited my side of the family. For as much as I hope these times will be worthwhile and joyous…more often they prove to be interactions marred by family of origin baggage and tensions forged in the kiln of pain and chaos.

I yearn to create new traditions in my nuclear family, but obligations and traditions with extended family crowd out those preferences.

I wonder now, as I recover from too much driving, what do we do when all the well-suited symbolism of new life and rebirth fail. When they don’t pan out in real life. When what you wish for, like a clean start, or even some version of new found tranquility proves unavailable.

The joy of Easter is there in the background, in a larger –what-God-is-up-to–sense, but interpersonally you just wish you could be somewhere else. That has to be more common than the Easter greeting cards let on.

My husband and I watched The Passion of the Christ on Good Friday, a day before we left on our Eater trip, and I was struck by something. The pain. So. much. pain.

This holiday is marked with the pain of God coming into our experience and absorbing all the agony. We tend to jump to the end. The happy ending of the joy of his resurrection. That’s the spot we focus on. O’ the joy!

For Christ’s followers it was actually more of a chaotic time rife with sorrow, dashed hopes, bewilderment, unbelief, and then surprise, okay, shock. Joy? Yes that too. But many other things.

First, he kept popping up in locked rooms, probably necessitating the “Peace to you” language, because he was freaking them out so much. He gave them hope enough to spread the Good News, but much was left undone. In fact, the hardest times were ahead. And, Jesus didn’t stay long.

Real life is complicated.

There was infighting, arrests, beatings, Steven is the first martyr, wild Saul starts imprisoning and killing Jesus’ friends–then he reverses course. Death where is your sting, says St. Paul? Well, guess what? The pain still smarts like the dickens.

* * *

I must say I have some envy for those who experience serenity and all the related majesty and renewal of Eastertide. Sometimes those symbols fail me. This was one of those times. Perhaps they do not in any long term or big picture way, but in the nitty gritty ways and means that life plays out…yes. And that makes it difficult. So much of life just doesn’t work right. So much is still broken, empty tomb or not.

You probably thought you were going to read a happy ending. Maybe I would turn my frown upside down. But, right now, I can’t find the right ending to write about. Maybe the symbolism hasn’t failed me, maybe I have failed it. I suppose like many stories, this one isn’t over yet either. But, the dot-dot-dots (…) are each so weighty and confounding.