Tag: Apocalypse

My Gifts to you…

(above photo is an example of “The Classic-I got a re-gift face” which I found here.)

So, my Sabbatical from blogging is still in effect.
If you are able to read this tomorrow, Friday December 21st, the Mayan Apocalypse didn’t happen or is just about to. Tomorrow is also the shortest day of daylight of the year, which is like a tiny apocalypse of darkness with much better weather. 

I’ve given myself the gift of removing the obligation to post here for the rest of the year, with the exception of a year-end post that is to come.

However, today I did want to share some news which is a kind of Christmas present to all of you, seeing that this is my final post before Christmas day, that day when Jesus got rags and a hay bed for his birthday.

3 Books are FREE for download, Friday, Mayan Apocalypse Day only. Go and get ’em! (If you’ve already downloaded them, consider re-gifting them, by passing along the news. I won’t tell anyone.)

I know something about re-gifting. My mom used to have a re-gifting sickness of sorts. It got to the point where my stepdad would have to guard his closet because some of his clothes that my mom didn’t like would make it under the tree as “presents” for my husband. AWKWARD! One year, Tim (husband) opens his gift. It’s a gigantic shirt, twice his size. Stepdad blurts out, “Hey, that’s mine. I liked that shirt!” What do you do then, hand it back and make mother-in-law the villain, or keep the shirt and get stepdad-in-law on your bad side? Yep. Fun times!

 

Other Points of Note, before the Christmasy part.

  1. To ensure you don’t miss the next post (seeing that they are quite rare now), just subscribe to the blog using the button/field to the right. (RSS or email delivery options are there for your viewing pleasure.)

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  2. In the right column…the part that says “You’re invited to my email list” is not for post updates. It’s for the inner circle. I let this list of people…that you’re dying to be a part of—I can tell by your eyes…know things in advance (projects, newsy bits, books, freebies, what-have-you) with an occasional update email, only once or twice a month.

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  3. The Cadre. (Click the heading at the top of the page for that info). Consider praying about your potential involvement in this cohort of camaraderie and support. It’s a 100% free, 1 year commitment to community. Although it’s not officially launching until FEB 1, everyone involved is already starting to bond and know each other better. Such a beautiful thing. These people are probably some of the sweetest folks you’ll ever meet. Their friendship is like GOLD. I. kid. you. not.

Final bidding of holiday goodwill:

May your Christmas meet you where you are.
Whether that means clinging on to family and faith, getting some needed solace, soaking in with gratitude all the blessings at hand, or sitting with your pain and allowing the grace and mercy of God to wash over you, I pray and hope that you are somehow specially blessed in the next 11 days. I’m anointing this post in prayers of petition on your behalf, and I’m trusting in the Great unseen God who made heaven and earth as his abode to shine his face toward you. In this Spirit I bid you a most blessed Christmas.

What Rapture? How American End-Times Invention subverts…

Mass chaos as Christians are sucked into the sky.

Loud and sustained sounds used to send me into shutters with shivers up my spine. Once in a while they still do, especially if they resemble a brass instrument. Since I live near a firehouse, my overall sensitivity has decreased. How odd…Why the fright, you may ask?

Two words:

Trumpet Blasts

(signaling the Rapture)

The 1980s Mark IV series of fundamentalist apocalypse films are to blame.
The titles are as follows:
1. A Thief in the Night
2. A Distant Thunder
3. Image of the Beast
4. Prodigal Planet

Have you seen any of them? $99 will buy you all 4 here. Horrible stuff.

In more recent times, the Christian mega hit book series by Tim LaHaye, and subsequent movie trilogy based on his books Left Behind, claims to portray the Biblical predicts in the so-called Last Times.

All three movies will cost you just under $20 here. The extra bonus, if you grew up in the 1980s, is seeing teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron acting again.

(I really thought I’d married him one day. In middle school, I wrote him 2 fan letters and everything. Pffft, his LOSS!)

 

Here’s the real problem:

What many, if not most, of us don’t realize is how recent and uniquely North American this pseudo-theology is. It’s popular just in North Amercia, and hardly heard of nor accepted elsewhere in Christianity, globally, let alone historically.

Here is a quick rundown of it. It’s recent doctrinal misappropriation: The Rapture and Second Coming stuff. (Spoiler Alert: It started “coming to life” rather recently…in the 1700s).

I deeply appreciate NT Wright’s comments called Farewell to the Rapture. It’s a short read.

He shows how Paul’s language colorfully used social, religious, and political metaphors of the particular time. Rapture advocates have wildly attributed his intriguing language to extremely specific and literal occurrences and world events–present and future.

Regarding eschatology (the study of end times), Wright says,

“Understanding what will happen [in the future] requires a far more sophisticated cosmology than the one in which “heaven” is somewhere up there in our universe, rather than in a different dimension, a different space-time, altogether.”

Basically, this invention which is American-flavored End-Times theological subverts God’s current work of redemption in us. It obscures God’s nature, as well, and what God is “up to.”

The Harold Camping rapture nonsense brings this misunderstanding into glaring and ghastly light. How were his followers helped by his understanding of God? What will they do now that they haven’t raptured? Sad.

Even the attempts to map out the book of Revelation on any sort of timeline are terribly misguided. The book reads like an acid trip. Revelation barely made it into the Biblical canon. Martin Luther, who wanted the Bible in the hands of all Christian laity, said it should be included in the canon, but only if it was never used as teaching material.

Nevertheless, I’m quite fond of the Revelation 22:17. It sums it all up for me! For more encouragement, try my friend Ed’s related post here.

How do you view the Book of Revelation?

The prime focus for believers should be the event and meaning of the cross, then and forever. It should be about how this truth of God’s work and grace becomes incarnational reality in our everyday lives. Let it never be degraded to who will get sucked into the sky one day, and when.

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Are You Heebie Jeebie Susceptible? (self-test)

 

Will he feel nice on your neck? Creepy crawlies give some the heebie jeebies!

 

Heebie Jeebies is similar to the British term “Screaming Habdabs,” a phrase which I am quite fond of. You got to love it! If I used it, however, not too many would understand me in the place with my greatest readership-the USA. Both are  non sense rhyming phrases used to describe a feeling of anxiety or apprehension, or worse.

Lots of things can bring them on. Perhaps, later, you can contribute a few situations that give you the heebie jeebies. For now, try this self-test to see if you are highly susceptible to their onset. HAVE FUN!

 

DIRECTIONS:

Answer each with one of the following-

A. Rarely or Never True.

B. Sometimes True.

C. Mostly or Always True

Keep track of your answers!

 

1. The thought of drinking unidentified, or identified “floaters” in your beverage gives you a weird taste in your mouth, or funny feeling in your stomach (and you won’t do it.)

2. Using a stranger’s chapstick is unreasonable.

3. The licking of fingers in public drives you to distraction.

4. You can envision the horrid (potential) consequences of sending food back when you dine out.

5. Anything with more legs than you should be regarded with suspicion.

6. Smells like Patchouli, Musk, incense, and funky grandma’s basement induce a foreboding atmosphere for you.

7. You have the general belief that most bad things happen after dark.

8.  You have checked under your bed, in your closet, or shower for security reasons.

9. If it weren’t for the creepy music, plenty of movies wouldn’t be so freakin’ scary.

10. Snakes are unexplainably weird or creepy.

SCORING:

A. answers = 1 point

B. answers = 3 points

C. answers = 5 points

• If you got 35-50 points, you are a heebie jeebie type, and very susceptible. Future posts written here will be of great help to you. For now, build your confidence with baby steps, venture out within groups, and work on your “control issues.” Just saying…

• 20-35 points indicates a moderate susceptibility for the heebie jeebies. The range is fairly normal, and only once in a while will you have a full blown attack of the screaming habdabs. It is quite likely that you associate with “Full-On Habdaders,” so stay informed, send them this way to educate themselves, and learn all you can to support them. Future posts will be of assistance. 

• 10-20 points indicates a resistance to the heebie jeebies, which often can point toward inner strength, maturity, or a rational mind. More often however, it signals denial and a shut off emotional life were barriers have been erected to keep things out, including love. If this erection lasts more than four hours, consult your doctor, counselor or pastor. It is a sorry state indeed. There will be additional information for this part of the heebie jeebie spectrum too, so come back within the next ten days. For now, find small ways to open up, let your guard down, or not be so uptight. In the long run, the benefits will outweigh the risks and downsides. 

NOW- it’s YOUR turn.

Tell us what gives you the Heebie Jeebies?

I’ll set up a poll with the most common answers, and put it to a vote for most heebie jeebyish.

Anything odd habdab you have to admit?

(fear of puppies maybe?)

If you had fun, there are several other “similar” self-tests at this site. Search the categories at the bottom of the page for “self-test,” and enjoy!

See ya soon.

-Lisa