Jesus Had a Wife…and other Shtick

This post is related to the hubbub about a alleged artifact from 400 years after Jesus.

Here’s an article of that and some of the new surrounding controversy that will make the validity of such a finding dubious at best. Just when it gets interesting it leaves you with nothing. Much like this whole hullabaloo will.

Discussing that is not the focus of this post.

Also, the image above is not a painting of the first knock-knock joke:

Mary: “Knock-knock”

Voice in tomb: “Who’s there?”

Mary: “Mary…wait…um… you’re not Jesus, you’re an angel. What are you doing in here?!”

Voice in tomb: “Got ‘cha, Mary. Jesus is alive! and he looks a lot like the guy who takes care of this garden.”

The ancient papyrus lines in question (written in Coptic 400 years after Jesus) are in bold below:

The legible lines on the front of the artifact seem to be a conversation between Jesus and his disciples. The fourth line of the text says, “Jesus said to them, my wife.” Line 5 says “… she will be able to be my disciple,” while the line before the “wife” quote has Jesus saying “Mary is worthy of it” and line 7 says, “As for me, I dwell with her in order to …”

So, suppose this scrap contains the actual words of Jesus, could we solve the mystery?

Firstly, for context….remember the “Plank in the eye thing” Jesus said once…well, here’s the thing about that: That was Shtick.

So, maybe this is too.

Jesus said to them, my wife….I mean, should I forego this dying for humanity stuff, my wife will be a great cook. Ya’ll know I love grilled fish, right?

or

“…she will be my disciple, and I have a feeling she won’t be as big a pain in the rump as you guys have been.

or

Mary is worthy of it. And by “it” I mean R-E-S-P-E-C-T, yo.

or

You guys can stay over at Peter’s house, and for my sake, please patch up the roof from the other day. As for me, I dwell with her in order to get some freakin’ peace and quiet. You bicker constantly!

 

You probably thought I’d say, “Jesus said to them, my wife…take my wife, please.” right?

NOW—you fill in the blanks. Finish Jesus’ sentences. (It’s not stuff from the Bible, so don’t worry. It’s not sinning if you’re adding text and meaning to a Coptic gag reel.)

 

 

on Getting Tired

Here’s a little reminder that everyone gets tired.

Everyone gets unbalanced.

Maybe you’ll be touched deeply and start crying when you hear a rapper slinging rhymes, which is really weird, but I did that.

Maybe you’ll just feel a heaviness in your heart that you can’t pinpoint. A slow burning ache, like the weight of the broken world is pushing in and perched on your sternum.

Maybe you’ll see relationships so broken and confusing and full of turmoil that you’ll start to disconnect.

Maybe you’ll snap at your kids, or get angry at a stranger whose story you can’t possibily know.

And grace will leak away from you and your ideals will be shelved, and you’ll wonder if you’re really a person who still believes in goodness anymore.

Here’s a word for you…and for me….

It hurts to be alive.

There are mysteries we want to know but can’t unravel.

You. Will. Get. Tired.

In this sorrow we are not alone, because we are the same.

(If you’d like to share your worry today or your burden, please do. In the comment section or using the contact me tab. I’ll pray for you, and maybe you can pray for me.)

Special Delivery to author Mary DeMuth

I mailed out an #Everythingbook MAIL ART postcard to author Mary DeMuth. I’m on her Launch Team, and I’ve learned so much about community and allies in such a short time.

You’re going to love the book when it releases in October. Stay tuned for details at Mary’s place.

In reply, Mary posted:

‎Lisa, beautiful and very humbling. I’m not quite sure how to thank you. :) Here are some gold stars…. ******

Here it is on Pinterest (and check out the very inspirational pins done by launch team readers using quotes from the book).

Source: rannsmith.tumblr.com via Renee on Pinterest

Are You Gentle With Yourself?

Sep 26 (10) Jessica Lucia via Compfight

I was caught off guard. My spiritual mentor asked me today if I was gentle to myself.

“We must be Jesus to ourselves,” she said.

I was taken aback. I’ve heard about being Jesus to others, but I don’t think I’ve thought about using the same grace or perspective with myself.

I wonder if some of you need to hear that today.

Be gentle with yourself, as Jesus would be compassionate and gentle with you.

Any other way takes your life away. Saps you.

Peace to you,

-Lisa

In which Sarah Bessey Writes a Letter to Bloggers…

In which I post Sarah Bessey’s photo

Sarah Bessey writes at Emerging Mummy where she has become an accidental grassroots voice for postmodern and emerging women in the Church on issues from mothering to politics and theology to ecclesiology. Her writing has been well received in many publications including Church Leaders, Relevant Magazine, A Deeper Story, SheLoves Magazine, and Emergent Village. Sarah also works with Mercy Ministries of Canada, a non-profit residential home for women seeking freedom from life-controlling issues. She is a happy-clappy follower of Jesus and social justice wannabe. Sarah lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada with her husband, Brian, and their three tinies: Anne, Joseph and Evelynn

Hey, everyone! Lisa, here.

I’m happy to include a lovely person, champ blogger, and Canadian beauty– the one, the only: Sarah Bessey. I could tell you that I love Sarah and that I love reading her blog, but then you would just think, “Duh? Who doesn’t, Stupid?!”

Yesterday, she had a gracious response to the flap about under-represented female bloggers by posting her own list, which you can check out with her handy dandy button (link):

So, I’ll just use this valuable spot, after the 50 Button and before the letter from Sarah (yes, it’s beachfront property, baby) to encourage you to sign on for RSS or email updates for continued awesomeness. Lots of great writers are my splendid guest contributors ( a.k.a Series #4Bloggers ). My first ebook comes out May 1 “Soul Care for Creators and Communicators”. It’s free (until NOV 2012) if you sign up for it here. (It too is part of the awesomeness. More on that in the coming days and weeks)

And now, enjoy!

FROM SARAH
Dear Blogger:

There are so many ways to be a better blogger, to increase your traffic, to maximize your SEO, to make money. 

I practice almost none of them.

After nearly 8 years of writing my life out online, I’ve made almost every mistake one can make. I’ve learned the hard way to write angry, but publish when I’ve calmed down. I’ve received my fair share of angry criticism and lavish praise. I’ve been convinced that I’m God’s gift to the blogosphere and, usually within a few moments, pretty sure that my blog is an abomination upon the earth. And I discovered that what is good for the Google analytics isn’t always good for my soul.

In the midst of the reactionary, often inflammatory, competitive, over-saturated, addictive world of online writing, I repeat to myself, “Remember who you are, Sarah.”

That simple phrase has helped me decide what to write and what to publish, what to leave to other bloggers. It’s helped me focus my content, reconcile my values with my work, make decisions about blog growth tactics, advertising opportunities, networking or relationships. It’s helped me not to crash into despair when someone emails with harsh criticism or fries me up in their own blog post as a “response” served with chips. And it’s also helped me not to get too full of myself when praised, I’m very well aware of who I am and, as every one that knows me in real life can attest, I’m disgustingly normal with flaws and frustrations.

But even beyond the world of blogging, that phrase has helped me make decisions about my priorities and values. It’s helped me to shut the computer down most days, to go outside with my tinies, to make space for spiritual disciplines like silence and secrecy, to make cookies instead of nasty comments. It’s helped me to engage in the hard work of real, skin-on community, to put my physical hands to justice and mercy, to rock my babies to sleep. 

“Remember who you are” means remembering that I’m more than a blogger. I’m Brian’s wife. I’m Anne and Joseph and Evelynn’s mummy. I’m my parents’ daughter, my sister’s best friend. I’m Auntie-Mama to my little nieces. I’m someone who would rather eat popcorn for supper. 

And beyond all that, it helps me remember: I walk in the ways of Jesus. I am a peace maker. I am committed to speaking Love as my first language. I am an advocate for Mercy. I am a grace-receiver, a forgiver, a woman after God’s own heart.

So my friend, remember who are. In the midst of the blogging, beyond the blogging, and through it all, remember this: you are loved, you are loved, you are loved. 

Remember who you are, my friend.  

Love, Sarah