voodoo Archives - Lisa Colón DeLay

Are You Heebie Jeebie Susceptible? (self-test)

centipede — Will he feel nice on your neck? Creepy crawlies give some the heebie jeebies!

Heebie Jeebies is similar to the British term “Screaming Habdabs,” a phrase which I am quite fond of. You got to love it! If I used it, however, not too many would understand me in the place with my greatest readership-the USA. Both are non sense rhyming phrases used to describe a feeling of anxiety or apprehension, or worse.

Lots of things can bring them on. Perhaps, later, you can contribute a few situations that give you the heebie jeebies. For now, try this self-test to see if you are highly susceptible to their onset. HAVE FUN!

DIRECTIONS:

Answer each with one of the following-

A. Rarely or Never True.

B. Sometimes True.

C. Mostly or Always True

Keep track of your answers!

1. The thought of drinking unidentified, or identified “floaters” in your beverage gives you a weird taste in your mouth, or funny feeling in your stomach (and you won’t do it.)

2. Using a stranger’s chapstick is unreasonable.

3. The licking of fingers in public drives you to distraction.

4. You can envision the horrid (potential) consequences of sending food back when you dine out.

5. Anything with more legs than you should be regarded with suspicion.

6. Smells like Patchouli, Musk, incense, and funky grandma’s basement induce a foreboding atmosphere for you.

7. You have the general belief that most bad things happen after dark.

8. You have checked under your bed, in your closet, or shower for security reasons.

9. If it weren’t for the creepy music, plenty of movies wouldn’t be so freakin’ scary.

10. Snakes are unexplainably weird or creepy.

SCORING:

A. answers = 1 point

B. answers = 3 points

C. answers = 5 points

• If you got 35-50 points, you are a heebie jeebie type, and very susceptible. Future posts written here will be of great help to you. For now, build your confidence with baby steps, venture out within groups, and work on your “control issues.” Just saying…

• 20-35 points indicates a moderate susceptibility for the heebie jeebies. The range is fairly normal, and only once in a while will you have a full blown attack of the screaming habdabs. It is quite likely that you associate with “Full-On Habdaders,” so stay informed, send them this way to educate themselves, and learn all you can to support them. Future posts will be of assistance.

• 10-20 points indicates a resistance to the heebie jeebies, which often can point toward inner strength, maturity, or a rational mind. More often however, it signals denial and a shut off emotional life were barriers have been erected to keep things out, including love. If this erection lasts more than four hours, consult your doctor, counselor or pastor. It is a sorry state indeed. There will be additional information for this part of the heebie jeebie spectrum too, so come back within the next ten days. For now, find small ways to open up, let your guard down, or not be so uptight. In the long run, the benefits will outweigh the risks and downsides.

NOW- it’s YOUR turn.

Tell us what gives you the Heebie Jeebies?

I’ll set up a poll with the most common answers, and put it to a vote for most heebie jeebyish.

Anything odd habdab you have to admit?

(fear of puppies maybe?)

If you had fun, there are several other “similar” self-tests at this site. Search the categories at the bottom of the page for “self-test,” and enjoy!

See ya soon.

-Lisa

Faith and Fleecing God- Hoodoo Part II

A common tactic among Christians who seek God’s guidance and direction is to follow the example of biblical hero, Gideon. (see Judges 6:1-8:32) Many people searching for God’s will, lay out a “proverbial fleece,” and ask that God show them which way to go. They hope for a sign, or at least a strong feeling.

Let’s think about Gideon for a moment. When God called Gideon to lead his people in victory over their oppressors, the man was hiding out in the bottom of a winepress threshing wheat. Remember, to thresh wheat, one needs the wind, and open air, so the chaff can blow away, and leave the kernels behind. (One doesn’t get much of that, in a pit of a winepress.) This man was scared silly. One can’t expect to feel even much of a breeze in a hole! God calls him “mighty warrior” too. HA! What a sense of humor! He was either being totally sarcastic, or meant Gideon could be this with God’s divine intervention–in the future. (or maybe both, I wasn’t there to hear the Angel of God’s actual tonal inflection) ;)

Then, Gideon starts mouthing off, acting all bitter, and asks that the Angel of God to actually prove he is really God. To my knowledge, no one else in the Bible is this brash. Graciously, God permits this, instead of just smiting his sorry butt, he obliges him, and burns up a meal, right in front of Gideon. This, of course, scares the snot out of Gideon, and he believes, sort of. He’s still a big-time coward. God instructs him to take down his family’s idols that they all worship. God’s not a big fan of idols. DUH. God was already putting up with a lot of bologna. This garbage removal is an obvious “first things first” order of business.

Everyone in Israel knows you should not worship idols, EVER (they all are aware of those 10 Commandments, and laws of Moses stuff.) Gideon is totally justified to rip them down immediately; so he marches over and does it, no problem. NOPE. Not at all. Gideon goes the cowardly route, and tears down the family idols, by sneaking out to do it in the middle of the night, with a few buddies.

After gathering troops, still, Gideon struggles to feel right or the least bit courageous about God’s calling, or God’s Almightiness. This unlikely victor asks for, not just one miracle, but 2, yes two, miracles, before he follows God’s direction. Very presumptuous, indeed, not to mention faithless.

Here’s the kicker sometimes left out in this hero’s story. After a mighty, and completely miraculous victory, over a powerful and oppressive enemy, the Midianites (with a tiny fighting force of just 300), Gideon constructs a sacred golden object in his town that is soon worshiped by him, his family, and the whole community. WTHuh? I think Gideon and his ways boarder on ridiculous. He’s quite ordinary, in fact. Just like you or me?

While some use the fleece part of the story as a prescriptive idea for determining God’s will–a genuine way to find God’s guidance and will–I believe the Bible includes it as a failure of faith on Gideon’s part, one of several. Really the entire story is part of a greater witness to an idolatrous and unfaithful era in the times of the Judges. It’s really not a picture of Gideon as a good follower, at all, but instead a picture of God, and his forbearance with a very weak individual, a supremely unlikely leader, and a faithless people he has called his own, and wants to save. God continues to use misfits, and losers in his is amazing Story, but we don’t have to emulate these folks in their weaknesses.

In reality, Gideon was like a lot of godless inhabitants of the region; he was a superstitious sort. This was an unfaithful and tumultuous time in Israel’s past as they co-opted with many ungodly practices. Are behaviors of Gideon’s type really the best for us, or the most advisable? I say, “No.”

So if not, what should we do? I’d love for you to weigh in here on this! But, I’ll put in a few ideas.

First, we shouldn’t think of spirituality/the Divine as magic. “If I do this, I’ll know I should do this thing here, if this such thing happens.” Totally hoodoo. That is trying to get God to jump through hoops, so we feel more comfortable. Yes, sometimes God works with this shortcoming in us, but we should also understand that God will purposefully let us flounder sometimes.

Which way to go, or what to decide, might be part of our growth process. Also, Biblical narratives show that God will purposefully allow us to encounter temptation, or the opportunity to make an unwise choice.

Loyalty, and a close walk with him is one of the best guards against going hoodoo with God. (I call this close walk, Practicing the Presence of God. So did Brother Lawrence.) If we are being loyal/obedient, and we thoroughly love God with all we are, it is much easier to choose what God wants for us. And I really think it’s not always just one specific thing we have to pick that is his “will” for us. Sometimes, it’s the situation of good, better, and best. God doesn’t bite his nails wondering if we’ll pick the right thing, and then viola– “be in his will.” He redeems situations, even the foolishness we get ourselves into. It’s that much better if we pick wisely, and make him the center and glory of our decision making.

Yes, sometimes God will open and close doors, and almost seem to force our hand. If we love and trust him, we’ll be okay with that, knowing that he will do that sort of thing for our best benefit and interest, (though it may be hard to see what that is at the time.) To test God, by fleecing him, is to deny ourselves the opportunity for a close intimacy with God. He is a relational Being. He gives us opportunities to walk with him by faith, and not just by sight.

I would love to hear your responses to this post.

Leave a comment, if you will.

How Much Hoodoo / Voodoo do you do? Self-test

This man just prayed, "God, give me sign if I should get a dog?"

(Was the cat joke too obtuse?)

Has a bit of Hoodoo, folk magic, superstition, and general hooey nuzzled its way into your theology? Probably. We all fall prey to cultural influences that don’t have a solid base in the nature of Reality, (i.e. our Creator and Redeemer) Take this self-test to know if you’re mostly hoodoo-free, or if you could use an excorcism, a bath, a dose of Reality, or just a good swift kick in the pants. Oh, and please, enjoy yourself. It’s all supposed to be fun, good-natured, and thought-provoking in a helpful sort of way.

Hoodoo Self-test

Answer true or false, and add up your answers as you go.

1. Once in a while you straddle a broomstick, and hope it will magically fly. (Or you think about doing it.)

2. Hogwarts seems like the ideal boarding school, even if there does tend to be a lack of supervision.

3. Sometimes you make plans, and then think to ask God to bless what you are doing, with a sign, if possible, to see if it’s “his will.”

4. You’ve gotten hurt or sick and thought it could be a punishment from God, (however, you go so far as to call it “bad juju.”)

5. You’ve fairly certain you’ve been hexed or cursed by someone at some point in your lifetime, maybe by someone who hated you, or a band of gypsies.

6. If you don’t pray in Jesus’ name, you think your prayer could be a dud.

7. When you need to, you put out a (proverbial) fleece, much in the style of Gideon, to get confirmation from God.

8. If God seems silent on a decision you need to make, you check for “closed and open doors,” and pray more zealously about it.

9. Not getting in private devotional/Bible reading time with God can correspond to a bad day, (or an odd string of bad luck, or even a loss of mojo.)

10. You suspect demonic activity is responsible for a lot of your temptations, mistakes, and influences.

*Scoring: Add up all your true scores.

1-3 True answers means that like many people you have been somewhat influenced by hoodoo folk magic and folk theology. The upcoming series will be of great benefit to you. Hold off on the exorcism-for now. But, don’t get too cocky.

3-6 True answers means that you have a bit of a problem area with hoodoo. (See my other post to learn more about hoodoo vs. voodoo. It’s oh so real.) You probably don’t realize the extent you are being witchy with God. Don’t freak out, he won’t put a bad spell on you, but I’m sure he yearns for you to get to know him, more for who he is. It could be more complicated than the voodoo doll slippery slope approach that can creep up unawares. It could be very comforting for you too, to hear a few fresh ideas. Check back soon for posts in this series.

6-10 True answers mean you have a hoodoo issue. Return any capes, magic wands, voodoo dolls, potions, or caldrons you may have purchased. They will not serve you well. It’s quite likely that you are incorporating some superstitions into your worldview, theological foundation, and everyday life.

But there is always hope! God wants your liberation, and the journey to freedom, with him. It will be so restful at the end. You won’t have to keep looking over your shoulder, so that will be nice too! Check back soon for many helpful ways to rid your perspective of faulty notions of God’s nature, character, and actions; and learn of his redemptive agency in his created world.

If you are ready to grow, be open, and BRAVE, leave your score in the comment section. If not, please post something you’ve been thinking about throughout this time. Thank you!

*(This test is mildly amusing, but not real, in any scientific way, so please don’t be upset however your score may come out. The idea behind it is to prompt thought about your beliefs and spiritual actions against the gracious, loving, true nature of our Creator and Redeemer.)

A few thoughts about needing signs, from my Savior and mentor:

“Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.” John 4:48 (Said despairingly of the Jews who rejected Jesus in Nazareth.)

^{Matt. 12:38}Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a miraculous sign from you.” ³⁹He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. ⁴⁰For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.

This is the greatest sign and revelation that God is God, he came in the flesh, died, was buried for 3 days, and was brought to life again, which was witnessed by many. He is trustworthy.

How Christianity goes Hoodoo / voodoo part 1

Man divining for water with a divining rod — Man divining for water with a divining (or dowsing) rod

They don’t call it a “divining rod” for nothing. This little stick set up gives powers beyond unaided human abilities–it helps tap into the “Divine powers.” It’s woo-woo. Maybe even hoodoo. This guy used to find water underground with a diving rod in exchange for a bottle of whiskey. After he worked up to 15 bottles per day, he switched to cash.

But, people love the idea of knowing something beyond their typical capacity. With horoscopes, palm reading, psychics, crystal balls, or seances, the idea is the same: Get valuable information through supernatural means in order to get an edge, or special comfort from that knowledge.

But Christians don’t really do that, right?

BUZZ. wrong. Thanks for playing :)

(I got a little “Robin Williams” on you there for a second.)

Yes. Christians often try to maintain control over their world through the supernatural/divine, to use it to their benefit. It just might be a bit more subtle. Or, it’s just labeled differently so it has a Biblical righteousness to it. Nevertheless it’s a trap the produces shallow spiritual growth.

This new Series I’ll do, on “common Christian hoodoo,” I will unveil ways which we, as spiritual people, get all “witch doctory” on God, for our benefit. Ways we try to toy with him for our own advantage and comfort, most often without really realizing it. Our perspective has sort of gotten a mite warped in how we relate to the Divine. God might put up with it, (He’s gracious-that how he rolls.) but it surely stunts our spiritual growth, and intimacy with God, our loving Creator.

It’s not too much different than a average, healthy, 30 year old who expects to be fed by mommy from a bottle, and wiped cleaned after using the potty. One can get by that way, but it’s really not so good, ya know? It’s not the best for the person. It’s not very mature, but one could get along that way.

Still, a good parent will often challenge a growing child to become stronger and more developed, which is not just better for that person, by for the community as a whole. God does the same thing, which could be part of the reason you are struggling with some tough things right now, and reading this as well. It’s challenge time for you, in some way.

If you think about it, you may have used prayer as a kind of divining rod tool a few times. Right? Have you ever prayed something like, “God, if you want me to do this, please, give me a sign.” We hope that a kind of “divining rod prayer” will show the way to or through something that seems outside our grasp, or beyond our vision. We get witchy with the supernatural to find out stuff we need to know. Be honest, you’ve done this! I sure have!

My questions/reflections…Is this just an immature attempt to get control? Is it a maneuver to manipulate the supernatural for our purposes? If not, what is it? When should it be done, if at all? Is there a better way?

More on this, in a specific way, later. But–Tell us your ideas!

Click here for The hoodoo / voodoo self-test. “How much Hoodoo do you do?”

Funny, so darn hip, and even mildly enlightening.

Leave your feedback. Do you, or anyone you know, get hocus-pocus with God?

(photo obtained here)

Hoodoo Voodoo Series-

movie with the best voodoo play on words — movie with the best hoodoo play on words Below: Scene from The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer, 1945

(info and photo from here)

hoodoo info below via wikipedia:

The dominant worldview in hoodoo is usually strongly Christian. Historically there has been an Old Testament strain in hoodoo thought. This is particularly evident in relation to God’s providence and his role in retributive justice. For example, though there are strong ideas of good versus evil, cursing someone to cause their death might not be considered a malignant act. For example, one practitioner explained it as follows:

“[In] Hoodooism, anythin’ da’ chew do is de plan of God undastan’, God have somepin to do wit evah’ thin’ you do if it’s good or bad, He’s got somepin to do wit it . . . jis what’s fo’ you, you’ll git it.”^[12]

Not only is God’s providence a factor in hoodoo practice, but hoodoo thought understands God, himself, as the archetypal hoodoo doctor. On this matter Hurston stated, “The way we tell it, hoodoo started way back there before everything. Six days of magic spells and mighty words and the world with its elements above and below was made.”^[13] From this perspective, biblical figures are often recast as hoodoo doctors and the Bible becomes a source of conjurational spells and is, itself, used as a protective talisman.^[14]

The goal of hoodoo is to allow people access to supernatural forces to improve their daily lives by gaining power in many areas of life, including luck, money, love, divination, revenge, health, employment, and necromancy. Due to hoodoo’s great emphasis on an individual’s magical power, its basic principles of working are generally felt to be easily adapted for use based on one’s desires, inclination and habits.

Hoodoo and Voodoo are often mistaken for one another. Some believe that the terms may have a common etymology. Simply put, Voodoo is a religion, whereas Hoodoo is a group of magical practices.

Check the next few posts for more depth on this: (plus a fun self test!)