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Path to Porn: STATS (part II)

In my first post, I dropped a “boom post”. This is the 2nd one. So, I guess you could say I’m gonna drop a deuce today. You might hate it. Or you might start to asking better questions of yourself, or get real in a new way. Most of all, I hope you can stick with us, pitch in, and share in the discussion. You are entering a whimp-free zone.

Disclaimers & Circumventing the “Porn is healthy vs. Porn is sin” Territory
Okay. Okay. Now, I realize, plenty of people, Christians included, don’t see much harm in watching some sexual content. Maybe explicit porn, or perhaps something “more vanilla” like maybe just some  sexually voyeuristic program that’s not that “graphic”. Here’s the bad news for you. I am not drawing a distinction in degrees of “porn badness”. I’m lumping. Don’t like it? Take your lumps, okay?

And for you “biblical terms” enthusiasts, you could also be disappointed. I hope your grace is sufficient for me, because I’m committed to not getting bogged down “describing categories and terms” that get people super distracted …the “sin” word… being the big one. This series isn’t the place or time to debate its merits, or squabble over spiritual terminology. (If you wish to do that, good…just go do it on your blog.)

Rather, I am claiming, from the onset, that explicit material is damaging. period. I begin from there. If  this upsets you, or convicts you, then I’m onto something. Let’s go.

This Series…
is to tackle unhealthy habits, or tendencies, we might not want to talk about or admit that we do. Maybe we think it’s better to be polite than truthful. You know, putting on a righteous show…meeting expectations, or at lest managing them. Looking put together. We all know that game. Or, maybe we’re just scared to confess it. Well, no more. Let’s take a direct hit to it. BOOM.

The Goal
Let’s create an atmosphere that will lead us closer to the best God has for us. I refer you to an obvious pick for a guiding verse. Phil. 4:8. (Feel free to submit your own helpful passage, in the comments section.)

STATS
Simply put: The stats are as obvious as they are deplorable. I know, if you’re at your computer, or on your smart phone, that you’ve seen porn, or at the very least, something lewd. Heck an R-rated movie or book is enough. With such easy access, and search engines being how they are, you’ll see it. You have. That’s a given.

But let’s ask the tougher questions: What role does it play in your life? Do you search it out? What does it do rent-free inside your head? When do you “go there”? Do you linger a bit because you think no one will know? How is it hurting you? …because it is. Start Asking Yourself the Tough Questions.

Now, absorb these few stats…
(Even if you don’t view it, someone you know does. So, then I ask you to learn something and try to be helpful.)

* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women
* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month
Internet Filter Review More info here.

* August 7,2006: 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year; and 20% of the church-going female participants struggle with looking at pornography on an ongoing basis.

From the results of a ChristiaNet poll reported by Marketwire.com

Pornography Time Statistics
(The numbers are far higher for 2011)
  • Every second – $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
  • Every second – 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography.
  • Every second – 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines.
  • Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States. More surprising stats from them here:

The next post in this Series is on the subtle and not-so-subtle triggers for viewing sexual content…in women… (Because that’s my gender status…and they say…”write what you know”. I find this rather inconvenient sometimes, but there you have it.)

But Guys, wait a sec.
Though this issue has been covered a bunch already from the male-use perspective, I hope you will think about the topic for tomorrow and weigh in on your own personal triggers. Because they”ll be different than mine…
or will they?

Here’s today’s question of the day:
When was the last time you purposefully OR accidentally saw something sexually explicit? Are you brave enough to say? I hope so.

For me it was last week.
It’ll happen when I’m doing a truly innocent google search for a blog post visual. Then, boom, up pops something ghastly. Damn you, google! Damn you, indeed. The last time I stayed for a second glance was 11/13/11. How’s that for honest?

So, until next time….
Bounce those eyes, people. Bounce those eyes. (Related link…)

Path to Porn..for women (part 1)

(click image for photo source)

Confession: I recently viewed porn. It’s not the first time.

And so have you.

Porn: noun
1 pornography.
2 television programs, books, etc., regarded as catering to a voyeuristic or obsessive interest in a specified subject.

In this case, it was clips from a primetime television show on NBC, not graphic and explicit sexual content. But, porn has much to do with lacking purity, and self-discipline. I wasn’t interested in either at the time. It doesn’t matter how graphic it was or wasn’t, I picked a path.

I know it’s a common path, so I’m starting a post series on porn, to get the topic out in the open. You’ve seen porn. Of course you have. That’s just simple statistics. The only thing in question is for how long, or how often…but far more importantly, why are you, and are you hiding it, and do you feel stuck or trapped? Well, the gig is up.

7 Reasons this porn stuff is a typical situation:
• Television/especially cable/dish/satillite

• Smart phones/phone with internet access or image viewing capabilities

• Internet…duh. It’s got to be reason # 1. (plenitude of images & privacy to do as one pleases=lack of discipline.)

• Over-Sexualized culture/media, especially in advertising

• Plentiful supply normalizes or excuses inappropriate or damaging behavior/habits.

• Video games/books/products

• Cultural Idolization of beauty, youth, virility, and social acceptance.

We’ll get into the heart of the issue, behaviorally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and find some ways to detour this path that will damage us and our relationships. We’ll help each other out, okay?

I will speak from my purview, as a women. We live in a time that is highly visual, tied to fantasy, that supplies huge amounts of voyeuristic material. It’s not something mostly “men do” (look at or participate in). Women do too.

However, I challenge you men reading to cover this topic in the next two weeks in a post or post series, or at least link to this post to support bringing this topic to light.

And ladies reading today, I challenge you to take on this topic, too, not as something that you wish guys wouldn’t do, etc., but as something that somehow effects your life somehow personally, and convicts you to somehow find a better way.

Often “Literature” and Story/Fantasy are like gateway drugs to this type of porn for women…I wrote a bit about this sort of thing in a past article, 5 Reasons I Don’t Read (Christian) Chick Books. 

Confess what trips you up.

Coming up in the next post…thoughts, feelings, and reasons you and I try the Path to Porn.

In later posts, we’ll work together to discover some resources to help and guide us: detours from the path. 

But, here’s the question for today: What particular vehicle makes porn all too accessible for you or someone in your life? Anonymous comments are always welcomed.

Review of “The Gospel of Matthew: God With Us” in the Resonate Series

This is my official *review of The Gospel of Matthew: God with Us
(The 2nd Book in the Resonate Series, by Matt Woodley • Foreword by Leonard Sweet • Afterword by Skye Jethani)

More than Your Usual Commentary

First, my Confession.
My confession is this: I was raised to think, you open your Bible and the Holy Spirit tells you what it means. End of story. Consequently, I rarely used a commentary until I went to seminary, where I used them routinely.

Immediately, I realized how much added insight was missing from my study of the Bible. I found that reading the thoughts of men and women who had devoted many years of concentrated examination of Scripture was like having a spiritual big brother or sister showing me the ropes. Invaluable.

The Holy Spirit
I wondered too if my view of the Holy Spirit had been shallow or incomplete. Hum…I thought…If the Holy Spirit simply plugs truth from the Bible into our brains and hearts, you’d think disagreements about Scripture would be few and far between. But, if Protestants know how to do anything, it’s splitting off from others because “the Holy Spirit” has told them other stuff from the Bible.

So, maybe the Holy Spirit’s role isn’t that simple or clear cut as we may first assume. Maybe the Holy Spirit tells us about God’s nature more than it exegetes hermeneutic in concrete terms inside our heads. Maybe the Holy Spirit is alive, well, and active in and through the brothers and sisters who write these carefully created analysis, too. Maybe it’s a bit like a joining forces kind of thing.

I sincerely wish everyone who reads the Bible would use various commentaries along the way, as tools, to better grasp the whole council of God. God has given people great scholarly and spiritual capacities to shed more light on the things in the Bible–and we are blessed to share in these gifts. It’s worth the time to get some help this way.

Not Your Typical Commentary

Now to the review:

If you aren’t used to reading bible commentaries (and you might realize that some are extremely dry and academic, using lots of Greek and Hebrew to explain things, as if you are already adept at these dead languages), then I highly recommend this new Resonate Series from Likewise, at IVP. They published one of the Gospel of John. This one on Matthew is the 2nd. More are coming.

I got a copy of IVP’s Matthew commentary from the publisher, and the more I read, the more it had an impact on me. The power of Matthew’s gospel is amazing, and this commentary takes Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection seriously. The gospel is cogent, and we find this out directly.

As you might expect, this particular book is helpful resource for pastors, teachers, spiritual leaders, and lovers of the Word who need a thorough synopsis. Yet, Matt Woodley also points out some concepts overlooked in some commentaries and typical sermons, and keeps our present cultural context in mind–which is sometimes nonexistent in typical commentaries. However, there is something about this book that will serve a different purpose, and do so quite powerfully. More on that a little later.

The author maps out the territory of Matthew’s gospel, in normal language, for one to get a lay of the land, or survey the crucial themes. You’ll find vignettes of pertinent personal stories, and the this gospel is covered in sections and main points. The style is very pastoral, like a casual but deep, personal interaction. (Don’t expect a commentary in the vein of D.A. Carson,  Craig L. Blomberg, or Craig S. Keener, and the like. Some of these commentaries, while very helpful, go verse by verse and are chiefly informative.) This commentary has a personal touch. There is narrative finesse.

Yes, pastors can quickly mine it for some perfunctory and fresh teaching ideas, but Woodley whets the reader’s appetite to dig further into the Word and the amazing mystery of an active and loving God who came to be with us.

The Best Kept Secret about this book…

Now I have to tell you what I wish the book would be used for most…I don’t think the publishers really had this in mind, exactly…or they probably wouldn’t have categorized it as a commentary in the first place. I think the book is a bit mis-categorized…but then again, they tell you it’s usually right up front. So, whatever.

The surprise ending is this: It would be best used in one-to-one and small group discipling, for developing spirit-filled, potential leaders, and those hungry for more of God and his Word. It’s written in a way that begs for an intimate and richer discussion, not just a proclamation from the front of the building. This book has discipleship written all over it.

My background is Spiritual Formation. I’ve focused on the whys and hows and history of spiritual growth in Christians throughout the history of the Church. I’ve spent plenty of time answering the question: “What makes Christ-like followers?”. So, I couldn’t help see this work as an excellent resource for inciting spiritual growth on a personal level. I’d like to see it used for this over being used as a tool for sermon preparation. Sorry IVP. That’s just how I see it.

If you want to take this sort of thing on in your life, get this book right away. It’s the perfect fit. Find a peer, a friend, a hungry seeker or Christian, or a mentor, and work through this book together, with the Bible in hand. It’s a down-to-earth examination that many will find helpful.

Here’s some added book info:
The Facebook Page for this series will help you keep track of this whole series of commentaries as the project unfolds, and give you an insider scoop for other stuff, including interaction with the authors and editors. Also, searching for the Twitter hashtag #resonateseries will locate other reviews and related material. I think the blog tour runs all month, if I remember correctly.

*Obligatory Disclaimer (to satisfy the FCC). I received a free copy of this book from IVP to review it on my blog, which is probably pretty darn obvious by now. An honest review (not a positive one) was the only essential. So that what ya’ll got.

RELATED: Here’s a previous post I wrote about how to study the Bible, and what people usually get wrong. I think you’ll like it.

Followers…

 

How many books have been published lately…or ever…about being good at following people?

They’re probably as rare as denim wedding dresses or dark skinned NLF field goal kickers. Both of which seem strangely missing in our world, no?

On the other hand, if you want people to follow you, if you want to learn how to make that happen, you can spit, and you’ll probably spittle on a book, article, or person who will want to help you with that. If Leadership resources were cholesterol, we’d all be dead.

What is it about following (people), and learning to follow well that is so irksome? Is it because it’s hard to have consistent faith in people? Is it because it’s so punishing to our hubris?

Do we have too many leaders and not enough followers?

Add your comments.

The Cheers “Hymn”?

Granted: We live in cynical times. Several generations of television viewers are chronically jaded from advertising so that skepticism is part of the fabric of our worldview. Consequently, now is the era that we desire to truly belong before we believe, or trust.

In 1982, there started a half hour television sitcom called Cheers. You can see all the episodes on Netflix now. The lyrics to the theme sang that an atmosphere of acceptance and grace could be found at a bar more than anywhere else… What? Not in a church on a Sunday morning? Um. yep. Of course. “Duh,” we might say.

Of course, in response some churches have made their gathering spots pubs or bars, like here…

Shoreline “Church in a Bar” promo from life in motion films on Vimeo.
But this is rather old news. This video is about 5 years old.

Sure, times have changed a lot in the last 2 decades, but the funny thing is, they have also stayed much the same. (Like in this video, for instance, have you noticed how church groups love to use fonts that feel “cool” and “with it”?)

Regardless, of where we find it, genuine belonging still matters.

Where have you felt that you most belonged? At work? On a team? In the military? In a certain group or club? In a fellowship of believers? I’d love to know.

Cheers Theme Song Lyrics
“Where Everybody Knows Your Name”
by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.

Do these lyrics below ring true for you?