Names for Women (or how language is oppressing us)

barnyard

How do you spell oppression? …maybe E-I-E-I-O. Today it almost looks like we’re down on the farm!

Let’s look at some names, shall we?

HEIFER/COW – connotation towards female: “a fat woman”

(actual meaning: a female cow who has not borne a calf/female cow)

VIXEN – connotation toward females (according to the dictionary) “a spiteful and querrelsome women” (but a google search turns up very racy photos indeed)

(actual meaning: a female fox)

SOW -connotation toward females: “a female police officer, or a degrading name for a woman”

(actual meaning: a female pig)

NANNY– connotation toward females: “a female caretaker of children”

(actual meaning: a female goat)

HEN-connotation toward females: “a gossiping woman”

(actual meaning: a female fowl)

QUEEN – common connotation:  “a man behaving unmanly and defectively as a woman” (as in flamboyant homosexual male) Also used for a female monarch.

(actual meaning: a female cat)

TOM -common connotation toward females: “tomboy” a female who does not behave as expected.

(actual meaning: a male cat)

BITCH – connotation toward females: “an annoying or whining female, a disparaging name for a woman, or a person who is dominated”

(actual meaning: a female dog)

SIRE – a respectful and formal name for male royalty, such as a king.

(a male dog, or other male animal parent suitable for pure breeding)

COUGAR– connotation toward females “a sexually aggressive woman”

(actual meaning: a large wild feline)

NITTANY LION – a pedophile named Jerry Sandusky (okay that one is just a joke I heard)

MADAM: connotation toward female: “a woman in charge of prostituting women”

(actual meaning: a formal way to address a women in respect)

SIR: A polite way to refer to a man.

MISS: An unmarried woman

MISTRESS: connotation toward females: “A woman having an illicit sexual relationship”

(actual meaning: The prefix of a formal name referring to a married woman or the female head of a household. Abbreviated as Mrs.)

MISTER: A formal way of referring to a man, and sometimes used humorously. Abbreviated as Mr.

(And finally, my least favorite. Scientific studies show that this word is also typically the one men most dread being called. Seriously.)

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By now, you probably have noticed some commonalities. And maybe you can even think of further examples I left out.

What surprised you most?

To me, it doesn’t seem that language favors women. Not the English one anyway.

It also seems that if a man is degraded or thought of an less than, a woman serves as a reference point of that inferiority. This is male privilege in action–every. single. day.

The standard of male as apex not only supports male dominance and heralds masculinity as the preferred societal and ontological ideal, but also works to continually degrade women as inferior. Since language is spoken everyday, every day we learn and re-learn the expectations and norms.

With many names women are highlighted as having defective qualities sexually, morally, physically and are routinely animalized (reduced to sub-man/sub-human) in a hugely disproportionate ways as compared with males. Yes?

Our language reinforces power structures and privilege, and sustains oppression. We should be honest about this. We should be aware.

People will refer to a women as a “girl” but rarely to a man as a “boy”. Plenty of other examples or preference exist.

So, now what can we do to make things better?

…how do we turn this around? I’m taking your suggestions.

Oh, and what’s with all the cat comparisons anyway, right?

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Michael Hyatt says he features the “Best Leaders” (Men) Click http://wp.me/p1g2iA-3bK

13 Inappropriate Things to Say to the People in Your Life (humor post)

You might think you’re funny, but here are a few tips on what not to say in jest.66

1. To the mail carrier: “Have you had a rabies shot recently? I can’t find my dog.”

2. To the traffic cop: “Gosh, you’re not drunk again, are you?”

3. To the mechanic: “That blue wire there is either the detonator for a car bomb, or part of my son’s science project. The worst part? An employee just walked off the job all disgruntled and my son is making some sort of dirty bomb for a science project.”

4. To the ice cream truck man: “Be careful little hands what you do!”

5. To the neighbor: “I probably should have said this earlier but I saw a family of rats burrowing under your house last week. No worries! Our python loves rats and got into your house with no problem.”

6. To your spouse: “I changed my status to “single” on Facebook two weeks ago, that’s why I was gone this weekend. I thought you were cool with it.”

7. To the Jehovah’s Witness: “I don’t want to talk with you unless can sit down together, in my tub, of course. You like lavender-scented bubble bath?”

8. To the Little League Coach: “I have a concealed weapons permit. You just never know when someone’s gonna bench your kid.”

9. To your tax preparer: “I did all my bookkeeping on post it notes. There’s like ream here, you don’t mind right?”

10. To the barista, “All I have is pennies.”

11. To the library: “Here’s my book. Yes, it’s damp…You’re going to think this is hilarious!”

12. To the garbage man: “What’s worse than your little guys having the runs and super cheap trash bags? Yeah, I don’t know either. I hope you have a light touch.”

13.To your pastor: “I was in your office last month when you were on vacation. I installed “Covenant Eyes” …so, we know all the naughty sites you’ve been visiting.”

 

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Read “PART II: 13 inappropriate things to say to your family members”…don’t miss the next one, sign up for new content in the sidebar.

On Preparing for the “Other Shoe to Drop”

Screen Shot 2013-06-16 at 10.35.49 PMMaybe it’s happened to you before too…

You look at your child who may sleeping, or being themselves, or doing something they love …and your heart fills with a rush of joy and good pleasure. This is quickly followed by dread.

“Maybe it’ll all be taken away,” you think.

Maybe something terrible is about to happen. Maybe things won’t work out. Fear.

Or perhaps this sort of dread will surface right after a big personal victory or good news.

It’s like that perfect moment of happiness has a gremlin that pops up and spits on it. For many of us, especially if we endured a bit of pain or disappointment, our Joy is followed by foreboding.

This strange death grip on joy is quite common. With a self-protection machete we slash down joy or happiness with contingency plans and preparation for the worst. Upcoming disappointment won’t catch us on our heals, we think.

It’s all about avoiding feeling vulnerable according to Brené Brown who talks about this in her book Daring Greatly. She’s done the research and says that those who’ve done regular preparation to avoid pain still aren’t prepared when disaster strikes. Instead they are devastated, just like the rest of us. But sadly, they have mortgaged away their joyful moments in on-the-spot while bracing for potential disappointment and pain.

So what can inoculate us from from short selling our joy?

It’s simple: In-the-moment gratitude.

Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, push aside the tormenting doubt, dread, or mistrust. Sideline the foreboding that steals that moment and latch onto to gratitude. Hold on with both hands. Gratitude sustains joy. It’s like a Defense Against the Dark Arts skill, says Brown. She’s right. It works.

It might go something like this, “Oh, my, we’re all picnicking and enjoying a wonderful time outside. No one’s fighting and everyone’s happy to be here. Yes, it might not last, but my how grateful I am in this very moment, this perfect beautiful moment. I’m going to let it soak into my bones. I’m breathing it in.”

Stay with it as long as you can. There is a guiding light in gratitude… and gremlins, as we know, are afraid of light.

The truth is that joy and sorrow are linked. They do a dance our whole lives, really. But, hope and resilience can win the day. That’s an important bit of useful knowledge to give our children, too. With some intention, we can live in the Joy.

Oh, and when the other shoe drops, use it as a planter.

(photo source)

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I hope you’ll sign up for future posts in the sidebar! Have a joyful day sustained by gratitude today, friend.

Wet Dog Diary: Providing for the Pack

I’ll spare you a corresponding photo, but Luna, our chocolate lab, tried to bring a dead rabbit into the house.

Luna our chocolate lab

Not long ago, just after Luna began adjusting to us and as her new family, I took her outside for her final bathroom break of the day.

She sniffed around as usual and then slowly blended into the inky night. Chocolate labs are pretty tough to spot at night, unless you catch the light reflected off the backs of their eyes. I waited. Then sensing that she might smell something and head off after it, I called to her. Nothing. Again I called and a few more times.

I heard the jingle of her collar in the weeds and then she pranced back with something furry in her mouth.

Not quite the hunter, Luna found an already killed and gutted rabbit and brought the carcass back. She wanted to bring it inside and share it. I screamed. And she seemed stunned.

“Put it down. Put it down. No, girl. Get inside.” I said.

She dropped it–mortified. Clearly she was a mix of mystified and disappointed you could just tell by her face. She sneaked inside and kept checking back to see what could be the matter. For days after we hosed down the back area where she dropped her present she would sniff and make some attempts to roll in the smell.

Gone were her chances to provide for the pack, at least in that way.

I wonder if we’re like that too sometimes. Trying to provide or contribute, thinking we’re doing a great job, and really God knows that our contributions are more like rotten carrion. It’s incomprehensible sometimes to us why somethings we’re doing won’t work, but for reasons that escape us God wants us to put down our treasured booty and come back inside.

I don’t think God wants us to give up our “doggie-like ways” or our “doggie-ness”, after all God made us people entirely on purpose. He knows we tend to get into trouble sometimes. Nevertheless some habits are important and healthy to break. And just like I started attaching Luna to her chain during outdoor pit stops maybe sometimes we have to get reigned in too.

Anabaptists leading missional change?

MAChris Morton got my attention with his summary insights from the recent Missio Alliance conference.

He made 8 key observations, but this one really struck me.

6. Anabaptists
Many of those at Missio fall into what I once heard referred to as “the Hauerwas mafia.” That is, those inspired by the writing of Hauerwas, Yoder and others, to think of themselves as neo-Anabaptist. Historically, anabaptists have either been persecuted by other churches, or have disengaged from the world (Amish).

However, Anabaptism has one key tennent which is suddenly very valuable: it has never excepted the claims of Christendom, Christendom (culturally and governmentally enforced Christianity) and thinks of the church as a local, incarnational, counter society. As Christendom crumbles around North America and Western Europe, the Anabaptist tradition offers a posture for understanding the church’s place in the world.

(emphasis mine)

 

Loyalties

If Anabaptists have sort of weathered the storm that is Christian enmeshment in the over-influencial cultural siren of political involvement–and I think they have–we have a lot to learn from them moving forward. The Anabaptist tradition challenges us, in a most important way, to question some of our misplaced loyalties.

 

Issues of social justice come to the fore as well in this outlook because we begin to identify with and reach out to the people that Jesus did: the underdogs, the powerless, and those without a voice in the power games.

Is the shift obvious yet?
The U.S. cultural climate has changed drastically in the last 10 years. Is this reality evading us? It is.

Especially in Bible Belt areas that primary operate in a Christian biosphere. “Christian Land” happens in the places of profitable enterprises, power, influence, and a whole world dedicated to a kind of Christian sub-culture that, sadly, makes too little impact on the non-churched population.

Nashville comes to mind, for one. But there are plenty of less obvious locations that don’t have the sheen of Nash-Vagas. It’s the insular world (sometimes accompanied with chic hairdos and great pedicures) were folks really think their sorts of movies like Courageous deserve an Academy Award….and maybe woulda gotten one if it weren’t for them Hollywood liberals!

Yet, in most places in the U.S. the post-Christian era is here. Fully. To the unchurched, in many areas of the country, Christians and their silly churchy ways are impotent charicatures suitable for mocking. To those outside the bubble, they aren’t making a difference too much in the world, and not making progress in the spiritual depth of their own cliché either.

This means a reevaluation of what it means to be Christian and living a Kingdom life is crucial.

We need to once again ask, as we must in every generation:

• “What are our core values and mission as Kingdom people?”

• “Are our ways the upside down Kingdom ways?”

• If not, what should we learn? What is most meaningful moving forward?

The sifting begins!

Want my best guess? Millenials are the key to traction for the Kingdom now.

You can read Chris’ 7 other insights here.