Are you a ZOMBIE? 3 Ways to Know if you’re truly stuck and NUMBING-OUT

texting

As a kid I would see adults numb out. (I didn’t know it was that at the time.) They’d get obsessed with hobbies, drink too much, channel surf late into the night, veg-out with a bag of potato chips, flitter about with shopping, or keep their nose in a book. Smart phones hadn’t been invented but going numb abounded!

I sensed I wasn’t like them because I was always moving on to the next adventure. I was sort of powerless as a kid, but I wasn’t stuck. It wasn’t just their actions, it was their faces gave away that something had shut off.

I get it now.

I get that we grow to numb out because it’s a way to reduce anxiety. Anxiety doesn’t lessen with age. In fact, more disappointments have piled up and more is at stake after a few decades of life. Disappointment, pain, fear, and frustration all drive us to numb out. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t do it in some variety.

The difference is that some people can block and judo chop numbness and start moving again, and others get stuck in a pattern they go back to it–like food, or stay stuck in it–like a bed. That makes you fat and sleepy. Undead. A Zombie.

 

I have to fight off a tendency to go numb and zombie out, too. Life is painful, I get it. But, I’ve realized it’s worth the fight. (It’s an actual life or death struggle.)

Blasting numbness takes skills.

But how can you tell if you’re numb or just in a slump?
Here are 3 Ways:

 

1. You just can’t “get to it” 

Whether it’s that you’re -super busy-, or that you feel the conditions are never quite right to get started, there is a special sort of “stuckness” that signals Numb territory. You meant to. You want to. You should. But, there’s lag and drag.

2. You’re distracted by design

You try to stay busy or occupied (whether you realize it or not). Maybe you check your emails a lot, or play apps or video games, surf the net for reading material or naked people, or scrapbook like mad. Maybe you text a lot, or you have to “get your run on” (frantic exercise), maybe you troll blogs, or do Facebook on your Smart Phone when you find a gap in your day. You want a break! It makes sense.

Or maybe, it’s more subtle. Maybe the kids have crazy schedules of activities you must attend to. Whatever it is, you have to admit that you’re trying to appease to your restlessness. You’re trying to stay moving but really you’re going nowhere. In the end, you only want more “soothing” or movement because you’re still in the same place.

3. You’re less connected

Have you really opened up to a friend lately, face-to-face? Can people get close to you or really know you? Have you avoided getting close to other people because they seem like a pain in the butt? This is because there is something painful about it. You want to avoid that stuff and you want to stay numbed out. People are a great source of anxiety for all kinds of reasons, but disconnection means you’ll stay numb. It’s time to be fearless.

What’s really so bad about going numb or staying numb?

Tons, but I’ll limit it to 3.

• You. Stay. Stuck. (Hardly anything is more frustrating. It’s like a jail. But, you made this jail. It’s time to get out.)

• You stop growing as a person. (Remember the cranky neighbor or the jerk boss? That is or will be you! Don’t be that guy. Remember, the mean librarian or pissed off gym teacher. Don’t let it come to that.)

Deadness. Zombies look cool in the movies, but…hello…they. are. dead. (and they eat the brains of living people. gross. Wow. How true is that, anyway?)

If you are numb, you are deadened. You can’t feel the good stuff either, like love, acceptance, belonging, and joy. (This stinks because it’s hardly living when you’re numb to the good stuff!) You can’t fine tune numbness. It’s a categorical deadening.

I can’t stress this enough: Don’t be a Zombie.

In the next post, I’ll share best practices for judo chopping numbness in the neck…and getting on with your best life. (Click the content link in the right sidebar to get that post zipped right to you.) 

Now you’ll like this! Check out what a good judo chop can do.

(photo source)

Names for Women (or how language is oppressing us)

barnyard

How do you spell oppression? …maybe E-I-E-I-O. Today it almost looks like we’re down on the farm!

Let’s look at some names, shall we?

HEIFER/COW – connotation towards female: “a fat woman”

(actual meaning: a female cow who has not borne a calf/female cow)

VIXEN – connotation toward females (according to the dictionary) “a spiteful and querrelsome women” (but a google search turns up very racy photos indeed)

(actual meaning: a female fox)

SOW -connotation toward females: “a female police officer, or a degrading name for a woman”

(actual meaning: a female pig)

NANNY– connotation toward females: “a female caretaker of children”

(actual meaning: a female goat)

HEN-connotation toward females: “a gossiping woman”

(actual meaning: a female fowl)

QUEEN – common connotation:  “a man behaving unmanly and defectively as a woman” (as in flamboyant homosexual male) Also used for a female monarch.

(actual meaning: a female cat)

TOM -common connotation toward females: “tomboy” a female who does not behave as expected.

(actual meaning: a male cat)

BITCH – connotation toward females: “an annoying or whining female, a disparaging name for a woman, or a person who is dominated”

(actual meaning: a female dog)

SIRE – a respectful and formal name for male royalty, such as a king.

(a male dog, or other male animal parent suitable for pure breeding)

COUGAR– connotation toward females “a sexually aggressive woman”

(actual meaning: a large wild feline)

NITTANY LION – a pedophile named Jerry Sandusky (okay that one is just a joke I heard)

MADAM: connotation toward female: “a woman in charge of prostituting women”

(actual meaning: a formal way to address a women in respect)

SIR: A polite way to refer to a man.

MISS: An unmarried woman

MISTRESS: connotation toward females: “A woman having an illicit sexual relationship”

(actual meaning: The prefix of a formal name referring to a married woman or the female head of a household. Abbreviated as Mrs.)

MISTER: A formal way of referring to a man, and sometimes used humorously. Abbreviated as Mr.

(And finally, my least favorite. Scientific studies show that this word is also typically the one men most dread being called. Seriously.)

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By now, you probably have noticed some commonalities. And maybe you can even think of further examples I left out.

What surprised you most?

To me, it doesn’t seem that language favors women. Not the English one anyway.

It also seems that if a man is degraded or thought of an less than, a woman serves as a reference point of that inferiority. This is male privilege in action–every. single. day.

The standard of male as apex not only supports male dominance and heralds masculinity as the preferred societal and ontological ideal, but also works to continually degrade women as inferior. Since language is spoken everyday, every day we learn and re-learn the expectations and norms.

With many names women are highlighted as having defective qualities sexually, morally, physically and are routinely animalized (reduced to sub-man/sub-human) in a hugely disproportionate ways as compared with males. Yes?

Our language reinforces power structures and privilege, and sustains oppression. We should be honest about this. We should be aware.

People will refer to a women as a “girl” but rarely to a man as a “boy”. Plenty of other examples or preference exist.

So, now what can we do to make things better?

…how do we turn this around? I’m taking your suggestions.

Oh, and what’s with all the cat comparisons anyway, right?

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Michael Hyatt says he features the “Best Leaders” (Men) Click http://wp.me/p1g2iA-3bK

Sugar is my poison

The past week has been a doozie. On Fat Tuesday, no less, I decided to stop having carbohydrates. This includes sugars and starches. This is no easy task. Apparently, I have a bit of an addiction. I’ve never had a good grasp on cutting out sugar for more than 2-3 days.

This week, I also got a head cold, and lost my voice, and hardly have it back now, six days later. And I’ll just stop there, with my woes, because it’ll get too complicated.

At first I felt crazy without my best friend, sugar, and kept craving sweet things: candy, chocolate, cake, pie, bread, you name it. But after 3 days it’s like my body adjusted. I put a tad of frosting in my mouth from my son’s cake, and it wasn’t what I was hoping for. Very surprising.

And I’ve lost 5 lbs. It’s not easy to cut out sugar. Sugar is added to bread, meats, and plenty of things you don’t expect. Plus, I love rice, pasta, and bread…that’s all broken down into sugar….like BOOM. For me, sugar seems to hijack my metabolism and make it really difficult to shed extra pounds. I’ve gotten rounder in the last two years. Too round.

CRAZY STAT I LEARNED
In the U.S. each week, each person ingest 5 pounds of sugar (from various sources). Just read that again. For most of us, it makes us feel awesome for a short bit, with a sugar spike, and then there is a crash type of feeling later. This was worth the ride for me. But I’ve noticed having eggs and other proteins for breakfast keeps me satisfied and stable for about 4 hours, compared with 2 if I have juice or cereal or pancakes at breakfast.

BUT I LOVE SUGAR. The food fantasies were crazy.

This is the season of Lent. I didn’t give up sugar for lent. I haven’t given anything up for lent. I am trying to be more spiritually aware, and this time without sugar during what is also the season of lent, has been the one-two punch for me to stare my cravings in the eye, and not back down. I see that this sweet delight is a kind of poison for me on several levels. It’s sobering.

How does sugar play out in you life?
What sugary things do you like?
Could you give them up? Let Me Know.

HA! Poetry in Motion, Sumo Style?

750 lbs doing the impossible.

I know what you’re thinking, “I never realized the beauty of Sumo wrestling.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “This is pure poetry in motion.” Or perhaps you’re thinking, “I wish I could scrub my brain!”

Would you like me to make a spiritual connection here? uh. Yeah. Sure… No problem.

This photo illustrates fat spiritual babies. Even when doing great there is still a hefty…ahem…amount of observable foolishness. (Old timers may remember Amy Grant’s little ditty, Fat Baby. Age to Age album 1982. Can you hear this music in the background? Read the fascinating lyrics here. (They don’t write them like this much anymore.) Link to video of live performance here. It’s worth it to see the early 80s hairdos.)

Leave any thoughts or comments! :)


Photo source NBC Sports.

At Last! A new Corset for insecure men. Problem solved?

What does this look like to you?

That’s right, a girdle. A corset!

Fellas! Now your love handles, pot belly, and man cleavage will melt away. How slenderizing! (Please notice the reenforced cross-straps built into the back–not to be confused with women’s apparel, of course.)

 

So men can regain their girlish figures: The Dude Corset!

 


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