Soul School – Lesson 46: The Story of How “Heathens” Received my Son

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INTRO:
Today, I share a personal story as springboard for something about compassion offered in context.

Many of you might not know that my husband and I have a special needs son named Nathan. (We also have a normally-developing daughter named Gabrielle, who we usually call “Ellie”. See photos of both of them below.) It’s been very arduous over the years with Nathan’s myriad of challenges and a strain on the whole family in many ways. To those friends, teachers, family, and others (too many to name) who have been helpful and supportive over the years, we say “thank you”.

What I am sharing today relates mainly to Nathan finding rich connection, friendship, or being truly accepted among his self-identified Christian/church going peers. Acceptance is a challenge for many typically developing children and teens. Children and teens by nature are immature, so I don’t (and didn’t) expect things to go perfectly!

His story is far from unique and neither is my pain as his parent watching it unfold. In a Christian setting, we’d like to think that rejection doesn’t happen too much because children might be influenced by church teachings and leadership. Or, Children and teens might be influenced by their Jesus-loving parents to act in ways that loving receive others with equality, but that was not our son’s experience.

When “being a mascot” is the best your child can hope for in terms of acceptance (that is to say that being ostracized is normal and being treated as a ” ‘Hey there little buddy!’ mascot” is a more rare but rather humiliating experience), your context as a family, how you help your child cope, and who shows up as your salvation, can take a surprising turn.

This personal story is the springboard for a deeper reflection today: about how we find our way in the world, make life better for ourselves and others, and maybe find some healing in the process.

What our family’s experiences showed me was that we can provide for others best out of the context from which we come, eventually. Examining those needs, hurts, and context can (possibly) yield a harvest of “good fruit”, eventual healing, and service to others. And maybe (with some new awareness), as we become more mature we can be increasingly mindful to ways we distance ourselves from people we fear. We also distance ourselves from people who unconsciously reflect parts our own weakness or insecurities back to us, and sometimes we distance ourselves from others we deem un-preferred to our sensibilities (or our cultures’  sensibilities) and are unlike us. If we can begin to see this, it’s a start. 

• Thanks for listening today! Blessing and peace.

See the show notes below for my two previous fantastic conversations on the theology of disability and hospitality from Dr. Thomas Reynolds. He offers some truly inspiring and enlightening things in these areas that are likely to be completely new ground for you and your community.

AUDIO PLAYER:


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SHOW NOTES:

This is Nathan.

nathanandmore
Pictured in photo: Nathan, his friend Cori, Nathan’s sister Ellie, and Luna–our dog.
A little bit about Nathan: Nathan loves to make videos on his youtube channel about trains, how-to videos, and animation videos. He loves working at his part-time job (large scale yard work), spending time with friends, making things from soda cans, drawing, playing with Luna, and coming up with fanciful business ideas. He also enjoys posting on his Instagram account. You can follow him on those outlets and encourage him, if you’d like. He loves connecting with new friends and fans. (And if you send him train video footage or interesting video script ideas he might try to create new videos with them.)


Nathan’s video channel trailer:

More on the the study and theology of disability and hospitality.

Tom Reynolds – Part I

Tom Reynolds – Part II


Thank you so very much for listening today.

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Eps 64: TWIN-CASTING with Minimalist, Jeff Sandquist who Returns with a Surprising Story

Today, is a special TWIN-cast. I’ve NEVER done this before and I’m excited!
Brace yourself for this news:
Not only do I have Jeff on as a return guest today, but Jeff interviewed ME. That conversation is released today too. What a treat, right?

Find a link for that below at the end of the show notes.


DON’T FORGET about the Special 1-hour SOUL SCHOOL LIVE Event– this Wednesday, June 8th (2016) at 8pm, EDT.
GET MORE INFO info here.



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JefSandquistSHOW NOTES:

(Click to hear the previous Spark My Muse podcast episode with Jeff. March 2016.)

MIN 2:00
The significant birthday this year that changed Jeff’s life and why.

Does losing a parent at a young age change how you live?

MIN 12:00
Trying to be perfect. Trying to control and conquer life and death.

MIN 14:30
The common pain of loss in death and loss of the attachments.

MIN 19:30
Prioritizing relationships and experiences over goals, achievements, grades, and materials things.

MIN 23:00
Was minimalism coming to a place of healing from consumerism that came from loss?

Being curious.

MIN 27:00
DEATH SALON episode

• Does grief, loss, and death inform how Jeff lives and how does it?

Death: Not fear based motivator, but a passion-based motivator.

“The Obstacle is the Way” Ryan Holiday

“Behind every mountain is another mountain.”

Mortality is a time limit makes you efficient and have a better perspective.

MIN 33:00

“[ictt-tweet-inline via=””][/ictt-tweet-inline]What do you want to exchange your time [your life] for?”

MIN 35:00

What do you want to share and where do you want to go from here.

The Episode with his “rock-star” mom.

Grit and gratitude.

MIN 44:30
Jeff’s funk

MIN 48:30
[ictt-tweet-inline via=””]BE CURIOUS![/ictt-tweet-inline]

Find out what Jeff asks me on his podcast HERE.lisaWjeff


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Eps 57: The Healing Process of Writing– Guest Rachel Toalson

Today my guest is a writer, a podcaster with her husband Ben, a very creative and productive woman, and also mother of 6 boys–including 3 year old twins:
Rachel Toalson.

rtwebheader5


3 THINGS TO REMEMBER BEFORE YOU LISTEN:

When you listen to the show, creating it feels extra worthwhile.
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But giving to show, keeps it alive.

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SHOWNOTES:

MIN 1:30

Rachel the writer and parent.

• In the boat with Ben – podcast
• WEBSITE for the podcast

Being creative and having a family.

Don’t give up your creative dream once you have kids.

Tools for pursuing dreams, intentional parenting and parenting with values.

MIN 3:30

Teaching our kids that parenting doesn’t mean we stop being who we really are but that we invite our children into a wonderful creative life.

MIN 5:30

What is Fairendale?
• Visit the Fairendale Page for a free Prequel

MIN 7:00

Our choices matter but they don’t define us.

9:00MIN

On storytelling

MIN 12:30

• Crash test parents

MIN 14

Exploring the difficult parts of life in memoir.

MIN 18

The healing process of writing.

MIN 19:30

Writer’s guilt

MIN 20:00

Resources and services for writers

MIN 22:00

Our lives are like stories

MIN 24:30

Documentation of your strength as a human.

MIN 25:30

Inoculating yourself against having your joy sucked away during good times.

MIN 26:00

Advice to parents from a mom of 6 boys

Parenting in an emotionally intelligent way and really knowing your child.

MIN 29

Brene Brown – whole hearted living (click to read the 10 guideposts)

Rachel’s twins that share their own language and partner in “crime”.

• Visit Rachel at racheltoalson.com


Spark My Muse is released twice-weekly. Subscribe and never miss a thing.

 

Soul School – Lesson 24: Creating Rebirth in Your Damaged Relationships

Welcome to Soul School!

Today is a very powerful Soul School that might change your life if you take it to heart and be brave about it.

After you listen to PART I (the audio button you can click below) be sure to Watch the video, PART II. It comes with a handout and is part of Varsity Club.  It goes into Lesson 24 in a deeper way and has action steps and a specific guide to enact rebirth in your relationships. Find that here.

Varsity Club is the way core listeners, like you, support with a monthly $5–that’s a tiny $1.25 per week. You can cancel anytime and weekly Video lessons and handouts go back all the way to Lesson 18!


Watch the Video – PART II

To watch the video lesson of Lesson 24 and get the companion worksheet (aka be in Varsity Club) just

CLICK HERE NOW

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EPS 26: When Childhood Suffering is Transfigured into a Thriving Life

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~Lisa


NEW!
Join in for weekly LIVE interactive discussions each Tuesday about that week’s podcast topic! VIEW UPCOMING topics and subscribe to join in HERE


INTRO TO THE EPS 26:

Melissa Wilson didn’t just survive mistreatment as a child, she worked to heal from it, redeem it, and establish a platform to help sufferers and advocate for those who are suffering now or wounded from the past.

Melissa converses with me about how she found healing and the joy of transforming her pain into a thriving website and podcast that shares stories of victory, triumph, and overcoming great odds.

Don’t let your past define you. Here are some ways you can move forward and even find a valuable mission in life.

MelissaWilson


SHOWNOTES with links

(These are approximate times in this audio broadcast.)

MIN 1:30

The Grass Gets Greener is Melissa’s project that has and continues to redeem and heal her past.

How did she begin to sense this path of helping and advocating for others?

2:00

Getting therapy and then being able to think about helping others.

10:00

How forgiveness played a huge part in the process of getting to a point of thriving and peace.

“If someone’s hurt us we forgiven for ourselves and not for the person who caused the pain.

13:20

The aspect of the continual forgiveness process.

15:00

Every story of surviving is important.

17:00

What helped her most in the process of healing and the first barrier that stood in her way was stigma.

18:00

The crisis event that sparked clarity to get therapy to heal.

20:00

How talking it out helped her and gave her confidence, and she even spent some time traveling in Europe alone.

22:00

How she developed social anxiety problems and then came to overcome them.

23:00

Post-Traumatic Stress symptoms and high adrenaline responses.

23:30

Finding a safe place and an outside perspective to find space from the trauma and grow in self-awareness.

25:00

The impact on relationships, trust, and bonding.

28:00

Rebounding and developing good friendship and meeting her now-husband as she got well.

31:00

On deciding what to make public.

33:00

Becoming who you really are and meeting new people at that point.

33:30

We attract people who are healthier because we are healthier.

34:00

“You have to connect with people who aren’t going to try to hurt you and who are going support you.”

35:30

Creating a family of choice, the core people who will help you be most well.

36:00

Connecting unawares with people who remind you of old pain.

36:30

You are most vulnerable on the road to recovery.

37:20

Feed your mind with the right stuff that’s going to inspire and motivate you and shift your mindset and body.

Here are resources that helped Melissa.