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Thank you.
SHOW NOTES:
Is it getting harder to be around other humans? Today I explore this phenomenon and what can be done. If you’re an introvert or just someone who’s been using technology more in the last five years, you’ve probably noticed that your in-person interactions take more energy than you would like and might not be as deep. Something has fundamentally changed in our ways of being and being together and there’s a way to encounter each other that we’ve left behind. Have you noticed?
These brief “lessons” are released each Wednesday
(aka “Hump Day” aka Midweek).
• Come back FRIDAYS for intriguing guest conversations!
HOW FUNDING WORKS: Because Spark My Muse costs hundreds of dollars out-of-pocket each month to create, produce, and host online–listeners, like you, enjoy giving to support the show and being a crucial part and keeping it alive and well. Have you ever had a“pangof awesome“in your heart when you did a good thing? That’s the feeling you get giving here. Thank you.
Today’s show gets to the nub of a common social ill Triangulation. (Click the link for further reading)
If this episode has given you insight or may help someone, please share it!
Thanks for listening.
If you have questions or you have suggestions for future Soul School lessons, use the contact page or email contact@sparkmymuse.com and let me know!
These brief “lessons” are released each Wednesday
(on “Hump Day” aka Midweek).
• Come back FRIDAYS for intriguing guest conversations!
HOW FUNDING WORKS:
Spark My Muse is heard in 159 countries and costs hundreds of dollars out-of-pocket each month to create, produce, and host online. Without help, it will go bye bye. Thank you for ANY amount,even $5 or $10, you can give today.
Scroll down for the AUDIO PLAYER to hear the epsiode.
INTRO:
Today, I share a personal story as springboard for something about compassion offered in context.
Many of you might not know that my husband and I have a special needs son named Nathan. (We also have a normally-developing daughter named Gabrielle, who we usually call “Ellie”. See photos of both of them below.) It’s been very arduous over the years with Nathan’s myriad of challenges and a strain on the whole family in many ways. To those friends, teachers, family, and others (too many to name) who have been helpful and supportive over the years, we say “thank you”.
What I am sharing today relates mainly to Nathan finding rich connection, friendship, or being truly accepted among his self-identified Christian/church goingpeers. Acceptance is a challenge for many typically developing children and teens. Children and teens by nature are immature, so I don’t (and didn’t) expect things to go perfectly!
His story is far from unique and neither is my pain as his parent watching it unfold. In a Christian setting, we’d like to think that rejection doesn’t happen too much because children might be influenced by church teachings and leadership. Or, Children and teens might be influenced by their Jesus-loving parents to act in ways that loving receive others with equality, but that was not our son’s experience.
When “being a mascot” is the best your child can hope for in terms of acceptance (that is to say that being ostracized is normal and being treated as a ” ‘Hey there little buddy!’ mascot” is a more rare but rather humiliating experience), your context as a family, how you help your child cope, and who shows up as your salvation, can take a surprising turn.
This personal story is the springboard for a deeper reflection today: about how we find our way in the world, make life better for ourselves and others, and maybe find some healing in the process.
What our family’s experiences showed me was that we can provide for others best out of the context from which we come, eventually. Examining those needs, hurts, and context can (possibly) yield a harvest of “good fruit”, eventual healing, and service to others. And maybe (with some new awareness), as we become more mature we can be increasingly mindful to ways we distance ourselves from people we fear. We also distance ourselves from people who unconsciously reflect parts our own weakness or insecurities back to us, and sometimes we distance ourselves from others we deem un-preferred to our sensibilities (or our cultures’ sensibilities) and are unlike us. If we can begin to see this, it’s a start.
• Thanks for listening today! Blessing and peace.
See the show notes below for my two previous fantastic conversations on the theology of disability and hospitality from Dr. Thomas Reynolds. He offers some truly inspiring and enlightening things in these areas that are likely to be completely new ground for you and your community.
AUDIO PLAYER:
(Share a snippet of audio by clicking the Clammr app below. It’s a rock star upgrade!)
Pictured in photo: Nathan, his friend Cori, Nathan’s sister Ellie, and Luna–our dog. A little bit about Nathan: Nathan loves to make videos on his youtube channelabout trains, how-to videos, and animation videos. He loves working at his part-time job (large scale yard work), spending time with friends, making things from soda cans, drawing, playing with Luna, and coming up with fanciful business ideas. He also enjoys posting on his Instagram account. You can follow him on those outlets and encourage him, if you’d like. He loves connecting with new friends and fans. (And if you send him train video footage or interesting video script ideas he might try to create new videos with them.)
Nathan’s video channel trailer:
More on the the study and theology of disability and hospitality.
Broadcasting pro, Lori Neff is back, as promised, and this time we have a great conversation spanning a few interesting topics and we have plenty of fun and laughter along the way too.
Visit Lori’s website HERE and make sure to listen to her new podcast that offers a variety of prayer exercises that can breathe fresh life into your devotional practice!
What was the biggest fiasco at Midday connection?
Why is just a 5 year window the ideal beauty apex for women we’ve agreed to anyway?
Will powdered wigs make a comeback?
Lori’s tale of the cringe-worthy “friend-date” gone wrong…
What makes a great friend and what might an improv class have to do with it?
MIN 6
Do people often try to trick the call in shows?
MIN 8:30
The stickiness of the one mean person in a sea of good folks.
Hate mail
MIN 11
Ellen DeGeneres is okay with herself and it’s served as an inspiration for being okay with people who don’t like us.
MIN 14
Being okay in your own skin. The 40 year old happy milestone.
MIN 15
Anne Lamott thinking about her looks.
MIN 16
Going through the body-consciousness and anxiety in one’s 20s.
MIN 17
I’m supposed to be upset about how I look so they can sell products.
MIN 17:30
Michelle Van Loon
The five years of life that is cherished as valuable.
MIN 18:30
Powdered wigs and white faces to reflect the value of aged beauty of the time. The construct of cultural beauty changes radically.
MIN 19:30
Dress hem lines changed because of health concerns.
MIN 21:00
Fashion, modesty and mindlessness.
MIN 23:30
Friendship was solace and rescue for me (Lisa).
MIN 25:30
Lori’s experience with friendships early on.
MIN 26:30
How personality played a part and how her wonderful college roommate taught her how to be a good friend and have a healthy fight / disagreement.
MIN 28:00
People would commonly ask “How do I find friends?”
“I feel disconnected and I don’t feel I have a best friend” was a common report from listeners who contacted Midday Connection.
MIN 28:30
Being intentional about finding and keeping friends.
MIN 29:30
Friends for a season.
MIN 30:00
The tale of a bad “friend date”.
Friendship is a vulnerable risk. The emotional risk is there.
MIN 34:00
The challenge of couple friendships.
MIN 37:30
How men and women do friendship differently and how personality plays a part.
MIN 38:00
Having a club or a project to build the friendship around.
MIN 39:30
How Lori got into Improv and starting having a blast.
The tools that improv brings.
MIN 42:00
Amy Pohler “Yes, Please”
NPR show improv.
“yes, and”
Learning to be with others. Life-giving. learning love and empathy
MIN 43:00
I see you and here’s something else. I’m not invalidating you. and I’m going to add to it and then you can add to it. A socially healthy mode of being.
Being authentic and flexible.
MIN 44:00
Teamwork and sometimes it goes a direction you didn’t think it would go. You have to let the spark go and help the other person and the team.
MIN 45:30
Ego crushing?
MIN 46:00
Do things ever get messy?
Trust in the team and trust that the good idea with come back around.
MIN 46:30
The hilarious Office episode with Michael Scott being bad at improv. (Season 2 / Episode 9)
MIN 48:00
Going with the process and not be tense about life and improv of regular life.
the fear block our creativity and the ability to be present in the ordinary moment
MIN 50:30
The improv mindset will help in friendship.
MIN 51:00
Thinking of things as play and roll with things.
MIN 53:00
My new book is here. I’ll be reading some excerpts from it on the podcast soon, so watch for a bonus episode very in a day or so.
It’s called FORKED: A Discernment Pocket Guide (for Choosing Between Two Good Things).
If you’re in the middle of a tough decision or at a crossroads season of your life, this is the resource for you. To read a sample click HERE.
Mary is the author of thirty books, including her latest: The Day I Met Jesus: The Revealing Diaries of Five Women from the Gospels. She has spoken around the world about God’s ability to uncage a life, bringing needed freedom to her audiences. You can visit her website at MaryDeMuth.com
Scroll down for shownotes and be sure to see the news about Lisa’s new book on godly discernment and decision-making HERE.
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