Tag: healing

Afraid of God

normal_FrightenedLady001 I was speaking with “Gwen” not that long ago, and she was telling me about an emotional subject. The words, “Oh my God” escaped her lips. She stopped. She looked around, and then with a look I would have to describe as panicked, she said, “I’m so sorry. I know God doesn’t like if I do that.”

I didn’t want to make anything of it, so I encouraged her to continue her story, but later I starting thinking about what happened. She was feeling afraid. It was fear she felt toward God when she apologized. 

 

Because God made us as relational beings, I wonder if we need to do better than being afraid of God. I know as a parent, I want to love my children and have them love me, not fear me. I want them them to respond to me and with me, not just respond out of fear of something happening to them. I enjoy my place as parent, rather than their peer. I do want honor and respect, and I try to offer that to them. But, if they operate in a way where they look over their shoulder every time they do something, I think I sense I have failed in some major way in relating to them, and parenting them. I will not have established a relationship of trust, and healthy love and caring.

I wonder if Gwen will feel close enough to God to feel unafraid one day. I wonder if she will feel he loves her dearly, and knows all about her, and still loves her just exactly the same. The fear comes from her own expectations, and probably what she has been told about God, but not God’s nature, and what God desires for her. He wants closeness, intimacy, and free reciprocal communication. He doesn’t want a cowering servant, always afraid to do or say the wrong thing that may displease him. Pagan gods were temperamental, but in contrast, Yahweh was and is not. I think the God image in her mind might look close to the dad she had, or some authority figure. But, the Lover of her soul, cares for her so deeply it would blow her mind.

Have you been afraid of God? Do you know someone who is? What has been the effect?

Lost or Missing? (An Open Letter to Christians)

 

To you, is he missing or lost?
To you, is he missing or lost?

Dear Christians,

 

When was the last time you made a stupid mistake, or took a wrong turn?

Did anyone ask if you were lost?

If someone asks, “Are you lost?” It can feel like a pointed remark. It emphasizes what is wrong, not what could be right. Most don’t enjoy feeling lost, being called lost, or being accused of being disoriented, and confused. Do you?

It’s often best to take the references to “being lost” in Biblical stories in their typical context of searching and finding something dear and misplaced. (Think: 1 lost sheep of the 100, the lost and valuable coin, etc.) What is lost is not something denigrated, but something worthy/lovable and missing from home. It is not speaking of a foreign thing, or scrappy thing.

Often Christians talk of “The Lost” (the sinner) though not in the context of finding them, but of fixing them. It doesn’t only strike me as rather rude, but it strikes most people this way. Since it’s typical “church speak,” most Christians are totally immune to its unloving sound.

The fact is we all feel a bit lost sometimes. We all feel lonely or afraid at points. It is when we can awaken to the Reality of God’s consistent love and power, and especially when we experience it from others, that we may see huge transformations for the better. Even then, we will still have our ups and downs, but the chance to have joy (sturdy happiness) and then, when a fuller, more abundant life is accessible. This is truly a gift of grace, (not merit).

As children of God, God’s love can show through us, like the father in the story of the Prodigal son, who exclaimed when his son came home, “He was lost, but is now found!” Did he want to fix him? Did he want to teach him a lesson? Hit him? Did he want to get him tested for HIV, ground him, give him a tongue lashing, or tell him what was right and wrong? Um. nope. The son knew already. Most missing people know right and wrong all too well, also. Many think they won’t be welcomed “home,” or think of the community of Christians as “home.” So, they can think, why should they bother trying? Ironical, isn’t it? Hospitality and hospital come from the same root word, and this manner of comfort just must be there to truly show God’s love.

What is a “missing one”? This one is not a person who is less than. It it not one to whom another human should “straighten out,” and save to the narrow path. People aren’t that powerful, and shouldn’t think they are. It’s just tacky. Most of it involves, standing true, and getting out of the way so grace can work its amazing-ness. God doesn’t need us to hold his hand. He asks us for our loyalty, but not just in our love to him-it is in our love to others from the perspective in which he sees them also.

How do you see it?

photo credit Creative Commons Andy Piper

Confession-fridays

I blogged at lisadelay.blogspot.com about the British Secretary getting smacked with custard pie. Maybe he’s the one who has something to confess. (?)

Each friday I’m opening up a “confession booth” – It’s good for the soul.

There is something deeply freeing about casting your secrets or your burdens away through the act of confession. It is a practice sometimes scorned, perhaps because it has been misunderstood, made trite, or undervalued. But, with the right reflection, it may be a powerful way to gain perspective, and renewal, or just blow off some steam.

Feel free to be anonymous, (or reveal yourself) and leave a confession of any sort.

I’ll start: Today, I purposefully listened to my van stereo (close to) full blast for quite a while. It was enough to frighten people.

guilt good-shame bad?

From recent reading, James M. Bowler Shame: A Primary Root of Resistance to Movement in Direction, “Presense” (Vol 3, # 3, Sept. 1997)

“Guilt is associated specifically with an action–something one has said or done. Shame, on the other hand, refers to the feeling one has about one’s very self… believing one has a fundamental flaw.” (p. 26) (italics mine)

We need (a sense of) guilt to correct ourselves and change our ways, but shame is damaging, and hinders progress. Guilt is about our doing. Shame is about our being.

All people struggle with shame at some point in their process of growth. Feel free to comment.

Confession Booth- (fridays)

There is something about confessing  that renews us. It purges us. We really are suppose to do it. It’s not just because authorities or the Bible say so. I think it’s because (also) as a part of human nature we want and need to be rid of things that hurt us, and begin a process of recreation.

A new service allows for secret confessions. SecretTweet This may help people free their consciences a bit, and some leave very odd things. The trouble though with secret confessions is that there isn’t too much hope for healing and restoration in the support of community. We aren’t meant to go it alone.

If there’s anything you’d like to confess. I invite you to do it here. It can be ANYTHING. From the serious, to the silly. Feel free. And you can make up a name, if you’d like.

I’ll start.

I bawled my eyes out yesterday in spiritual direction (which was done in “real play” in front of classmates, yes awkward and nerve-wracking at times, and other times comforting). It was because I realized I felt that God had “hurt my feelings” and I was angry with “him”. It ended in the embrace of God. Strangely enough…In a visualization, (prayer with a visual imagination) he came and sat with me, and played jacks with me, of all things. It was so unexpected and kind. I told him my hurts, and he sweetly stroked my hair. I wanted to hug him, so I did, and he hugged me back. It was warm and big. And my hurts melted. He took out the ugly ball of hurt from my heart and tossed it over his shoulder, so it would not ruin me any more. It was a powerful experience, which I haven’t had before. I felt vulnerable, even silly, at times. But, in the end, I was glad I confessed these feelings, even as I am now doing now.

For a silly (non serious) confession-I worn my hair in pigtails today, in the privacy of my home.