Tag: movies

What Rapture? How American End-Times Invention subverts…

Mass chaos as Christians are sucked into the sky.

Loud and sustained sounds used to send me into shutters with shivers up my spine. Once in a while they still do, especially if they resemble a brass instrument. Since I live near a firehouse, my overall sensitivity has decreased. How odd…Why the fright, you may ask?

Two words:

Trumpet Blasts

(signaling the Rapture)

The 1980s Mark IV series of fundamentalist apocalypse films are to blame.
The titles are as follows:
1. A Thief in the Night
2. A Distant Thunder
3. Image of the Beast
4. Prodigal Planet

Have you seen any of them? $99 will buy you all 4 here. Horrible stuff.

In more recent times, the Christian mega hit book series by Tim LaHaye, and subsequent movie trilogy based on his books Left Behind, claims to portray the Biblical predicts in the so-called Last Times.

All three movies will cost you just under $20 here. The extra bonus, if you grew up in the 1980s, is seeing teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron acting again.

(I really thought I’d married him one day. In middle school, I wrote him 2 fan letters and everything. Pffft, his LOSS!)

 

Here’s the real problem:

What many, if not most, of us don’t realize is how recent and uniquely North American this pseudo-theology is. It’s popular just in North Amercia, and hardly heard of nor accepted elsewhere in Christianity, globally, let alone historically.

Here is a quick rundown of it. It’s recent doctrinal misappropriation: The Rapture and Second Coming stuff. (Spoiler Alert: It started “coming to life” rather recently…in the 1700s).

I deeply appreciate NT Wright’s comments called Farewell to the Rapture. It’s a short read.

He shows how Paul’s language colorfully used social, religious, and political metaphors of the particular time. Rapture advocates have wildly attributed his intriguing language to extremely specific and literal occurrences and world events–present and future.

Regarding eschatology (the study of end times), Wright says,

“Understanding what will happen [in the future] requires a far more sophisticated cosmology than the one in which “heaven” is somewhere up there in our universe, rather than in a different dimension, a different space-time, altogether.”

Basically, this invention which is American-flavored End-Times theological subverts God’s current work of redemption in us. It obscures God’s nature, as well, and what God is “up to.”

The Harold Camping rapture nonsense brings this misunderstanding into glaring and ghastly light. How were his followers helped by his understanding of God? What will they do now that they haven’t raptured? Sad.

Even the attempts to map out the book of Revelation on any sort of timeline are terribly misguided. The book reads like an acid trip. Revelation barely made it into the Biblical canon. Martin Luther, who wanted the Bible in the hands of all Christian laity, said it should be included in the canon, but only if it was never used as teaching material.

Nevertheless, I’m quite fond of the Revelation 22:17. It sums it all up for me! For more encouragement, try my friend Ed’s related post here.

How do you view the Book of Revelation?

The prime focus for believers should be the event and meaning of the cross, then and forever. It should be about how this truth of God’s work and grace becomes incarnational reality in our everyday lives. Let it never be degraded to who will get sucked into the sky one day, and when.

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Feb Freebie- Choose Your Own Adventure Kit!

 

Kit 'o Fun prize

 

This picture looks simple enough, but this giveaway prize is not THAT ordinary. It’s really a do-it-all kit for a time to remember.

First, the boxes of candy are King sized. That means it has to be better.

Now, some of you (possibly with a y chromosome) out there will see these articles shown, and have no idea how they could make you a hero of sweetness and charm to a significant other, or a whole lot of fun to hang with for a bit. But really-You’ll be seen in the light of a hero!

Here’s how it works: Find someone to spend time with. Your kid, your friend, your cousin, your spouse, or even an unlikely or unlikable counterpart… but, you get the idea. (Humans only please.) Think of something to do, eat the candy, record your adventure with the camera, and then attach the developed photos in the journal, along with captions or comments about your time together. (Remember to replace the picture shown on the outside-the overly-happy, giggly couple-with a photo of your time.) This book can be a continual archive of dates, trips, and adventures; Or you can give it away to the person, right away. See how wonderful you’ll seem? Yes, one giant ball of awesomeness. You can even say it was your idea. It’s not likely they will believe you, but go ahead. And if the winner of this prize sends some pictures back to me, (before March 31, 2010) a cool, surprise bonus prize will be given. Try to not pee your pants with excitement.

Here’s some ideas for your time out:

A walk. A snowball fight. Bowling. Browsing shops in a new town. Doing a random act or acts of kindness. A Museum. Coffee shop hopping. Wine tour  Whine tour. Make a treasure hunt for your friend/date (you know, with clues, etc.) to find the candy, or something else. A game of Paintball. Laser Tag. Horseback riding. Ice Skating. Indoor Rock Climbing. Chess-okay Not Chess! Dinner in, and a movie rental. Parade (St Patty’s Day is coming). A home project. Fight Club (Hey, I don’t know what you’re into, okay?) Breakfast at a diner (Make sure to get pictures of the wait staff.) Build a cake, or something.

SO! Pick one of these choices and elaborate on it, OR make up a good outing or activity out of your own creativity. Or, you can go the other way, and have an awful time, potentially, and record how that goes. You may get a pleasant surprise. Visit a slaughter house, or a AIDS clinic, or a cancer ward. It’s up to you.

Enter your idea in the  ‘leave a comment’ section, and the one considered the most worthy (in every way) will win. I will sign the journal, if you’d like, with my best wishes. But, I’ll keep my mitts off the candy, I promise.

Good Wishes to you!

Are You Heebie Jeebie Susceptible? (self-test)

 

Will he feel nice on your neck? Creepy crawlies give some the heebie jeebies!

 

Heebie Jeebies is similar to the British term “Screaming Habdabs,” a phrase which I am quite fond of. You got to love it! If I used it, however, not too many would understand me in the place with my greatest readership-the USA. Both are  non sense rhyming phrases used to describe a feeling of anxiety or apprehension, or worse.

Lots of things can bring them on. Perhaps, later, you can contribute a few situations that give you the heebie jeebies. For now, try this self-test to see if you are highly susceptible to their onset. HAVE FUN!

 

DIRECTIONS:

Answer each with one of the following-

A. Rarely or Never True.

B. Sometimes True.

C. Mostly or Always True

Keep track of your answers!

 

1. The thought of drinking unidentified, or identified “floaters” in your beverage gives you a weird taste in your mouth, or funny feeling in your stomach (and you won’t do it.)

2. Using a stranger’s chapstick is unreasonable.

3. The licking of fingers in public drives you to distraction.

4. You can envision the horrid (potential) consequences of sending food back when you dine out.

5. Anything with more legs than you should be regarded with suspicion.

6. Smells like Patchouli, Musk, incense, and funky grandma’s basement induce a foreboding atmosphere for you.

7. You have the general belief that most bad things happen after dark.

8.  You have checked under your bed, in your closet, or shower for security reasons.

9. If it weren’t for the creepy music, plenty of movies wouldn’t be so freakin’ scary.

10. Snakes are unexplainably weird or creepy.

SCORING:

A. answers = 1 point

B. answers = 3 points

C. answers = 5 points

• If you got 35-50 points, you are a heebie jeebie type, and very susceptible. Future posts written here will be of great help to you. For now, build your confidence with baby steps, venture out within groups, and work on your “control issues.” Just saying…

• 20-35 points indicates a moderate susceptibility for the heebie jeebies. The range is fairly normal, and only once in a while will you have a full blown attack of the screaming habdabs. It is quite likely that you associate with “Full-On Habdaders,” so stay informed, send them this way to educate themselves, and learn all you can to support them. Future posts will be of assistance. 

• 10-20 points indicates a resistance to the heebie jeebies, which often can point toward inner strength, maturity, or a rational mind. More often however, it signals denial and a shut off emotional life were barriers have been erected to keep things out, including love. If this erection lasts more than four hours, consult your doctor, counselor or pastor. It is a sorry state indeed. There will be additional information for this part of the heebie jeebie spectrum too, so come back within the next ten days. For now, find small ways to open up, let your guard down, or not be so uptight. In the long run, the benefits will outweigh the risks and downsides. 

NOW- it’s YOUR turn.

Tell us what gives you the Heebie Jeebies?

I’ll set up a poll with the most common answers, and put it to a vote for most heebie jeebyish.

Anything odd habdab you have to admit?

(fear of puppies maybe?)

If you had fun, there are several other “similar” self-tests at this site. Search the categories at the bottom of the page for “self-test,” and enjoy!

See ya soon.

-Lisa