Diana Nyad did something she couldn’t do in her twenties. She did something no man or women has ever done.
She swam over 110 miles from Cuba to Florida with no shark tank. It took 53 hours. It was her fifth try.
Dehydrated, sunburned, delirious, and swollen by many jellyfish stings, Diana walked up the beach today to a huge cheering crowd, the picture of monstrous determination and persistence.
That’s a Baby Boomer with some serious Boom, baby!
Fast. Convertible. Hot stuff. As it growled away I thought,
“What a Fig Leaf!”
In about 30 seconds you can see (or hear) the things people do to cover up… to compensate and distract themselves and others from their insecurities. It’s all a Fig Leaf dance done to hide shame.
To see it in ourselves can take a bit more time. Funny how that is!
We are always, it seems, pushing back somehow on the sense that we aren’t enough. (Even by drawing a comparison, which is what I did when I spotted a sport car fig leaf, reveals my cover up attempt, “I’m not as bad as that.” I said in my heart.)
Consciously or unconsciously we send signals to whomever might listen, even if the listener is us:
• I’m smart enough
• I’m talented enough
• I’m wealthy enough
• I’m pious enough
• I’m capable enough
• I’m attractive enough
• I’m good enough
• I’m strong enough
• I’m loved enough
• I’m dedicated enough
• I’m worthy enough
I. am. okay.
Each way a Fig Leaf. Each way a stab at trying to reconnect and find home. We all long for connection and acceptance.
Social creatures as we are, we still want to look like we have it all under control and can go it alone. The sinking feeling that perhaps we cannot sends a jolt of pain that has us picking fig leaves and making coverings for ourselves.
The truth is being vulnerable feels like being naked. We hate it. We feel exposed. We’d rather hide.
If something or someone reveals our mistake or shortcoming, we take it personally–as a reflection of some core flaw. Fig leaves are everywhere.
I don’t have a sport car to show off, so my fig leaf might not be so obvious to others. But it’s there! Oh, and I have much more than one fig leaf too. I too feel like I’m not enough, and plenty of ways and failures come up each day to point it out for me.
The only thing that helps to give me traction and drop a few leaves is admitting it and risking and then relying on my closest relationships to reorient me–including my relationship with God. Those who really love me reinforce that I already am worthy of love and acceptance. God reaches out in Scriptures, through others, and in the Living Word (Jesus the Christ) to drill home the fact that he covers all shame with empathy and love.
Guilt = I did something wrong (admit it, fix it, move on)
Shame = I am something wrong (we stay stuck, we go numb, we disconnect, we over-protect ourselves)
If you want to drop a few pitiful fig leaves, start by taking a risk and reveal why you cover up. You don’t have to do it in public, but apparently you have to do it to be well.
Brené Brown (who you’ve probably realized by now has inspired this post) says that “We are only as sick as our shame.”
I’m reading this, and I recommend it to anyone who has a Fig Leaf or two.
PRAYER FOR THE SHAMEFUL
God, hear my prayer!
I keep scrounging for things to make me feel better.
I remain unfound by your love in times when I deeply need it.
Be my Hope and Deliver
Let your love wash over me and renew me
That I can be born again into a greater Light and Love
And even as a new born baby is vulnerable and so dearly loved
Let me sense that I am your child in the same way
I am strongest and most protected when I realize I am in your arms
Let me sense your acceptance and closeness.
Remind me of who and where you are.
Man divining for water with a divining (or dowsing) rod
They don’t call it a “divining rod” for nothing. This little stick set up gives powers beyond unaided human abilities–it helps tap into the “Divine powers.” It’s woo-woo. Maybe even hoodoo. This guy used to find water underground with a diving rod in exchange for a bottle of whiskey. After he worked up to 15 bottles per day, he switched to cash.
But, people love the idea of knowing something beyond their typical capacity. With horoscopes, palm reading, psychics, crystal balls, or seances, the idea is the same: Get valuable information through supernatural means in order to get an edge, or special comfort from that knowledge.
But Christians don’t really do that, right?
BUZZ. wrong. Thanks for playing :)
(I got a little “Robin Williams” on you there for a second.)
Yes. Christians often try to maintain control over their world through the supernatural/divine, to use it to their benefit. It just might be a bit more subtle. Or, it’s just labeled differently so it has a Biblical righteousness to it. Nevertheless it’s a trap the produces shallow spiritual growth.
This new Series I’ll do, on “common Christian hoodoo,” I will unveil ways which we, as spiritual people, get all “witch doctory” on God, for our benefit. Ways we try to toy with him for our own advantage and comfort, most often without really realizing it. Our perspective has sort of gotten a mite warped in how we relate to the Divine. God might put up with it, (He’s gracious-that how he rolls.) but it surely stunts our spiritual growth, and intimacy with God, our loving Creator.
It’s not too much different than a average, healthy, 30 year old who expects to be fed by mommy from a bottle, and wiped cleaned after using the potty. One can get by that way, but it’s really not so good, ya know? It’s not the best for the person. It’s not very mature, but one could get along that way.
Still, a good parent will often challenge a growing child to become stronger and more developed, which is not just better for that person, by for the community as a whole. God does the same thing, which could be part of the reason you are struggling with some tough things right now, and reading this as well. It’s challenge time for you, in some way.
If you think about it, you may have used prayer as a kind of divining rod tool a few times. Right? Have you ever prayed something like, “God, if you want me to do this, please, give me a sign.” We hope that a kind of “divining rod prayer” will show the way to or through something that seems outside our grasp, or beyond our vision. We get witchy with the supernatural to find out stuff we need to know. Be honest, you’ve done this! I sure have!
My questions/reflections…Is this just an immature attempt to get control? Is it a maneuver to manipulate the supernatural for our purposes? If not, what is it? When should it be done, if at all? Is there a better way?
More on this, in a specific way, later. But–Tell us your ideas!
