Juvenile Atheism, and Bunny Studies. (a profound update)

Nathan is my little bunny

I have been observing the spiritual journey of my autistic son, Nathan, quite closely for the last three or four weeks. If you haven’t been following the posts about it, here, this is the short version of the backstory:

Nathan, as of a few months ago, professed to not believing in God. This is a  change from his former beliefs. He now claims that God, the Bible, and the stories of Christianity are “unbelievable stories,” as he says. It’s fake. A fraud.

The undertaking
To me, it seemed like the perfect time to more closely explore spiritual formation (a.k.a. discipleship) and theology as it pertains to disability. Besides encouraging Nathan in his spiritual formation (no matter how messy or personally unsettling or uncomfortable), I’ve hoped to learn from him, and share my findings. This includes studying on the theology of disability, and documenting Nathan’s time of exploration, with respect for my son’s unique spiritual growth process and experience of the world. For my readers, I’ve hoped to encourage deeper thought and consideration about spiritual growth, and the nature of God.

Where things are now
My attention to Nathan’s beliefs and journey, and the recording of them have reached a blockade. Nathan has expressed that he does not want to be filmed, and wants to not speak about the subject. He’s not ready to go about things this way. I will respect this. His basic sentiment is emotional, and preferential, not logical or given to dialogue. So, I will to put this closer study (at least of him, in a personal way) on hold, until a time comes when it seems productive to pick up with it again. I’ll post about it, occasionally, as insights, changes, or advancements occur. This story is far from over.

Bunny Studies
I got up early this morning and went out on the porch with my coffee to enjoy the unseasonably mild morning weather and take in the sights of the creatures that are neighbors with us. We have a few nests, some very vocal birds, several rabbit families, and a very clever chipmunk who has constructed an elaborate series of tunnels that I suspect could be a secret lair. This morning I saw him enter and leave two different homes, scale a brick chimney, shoot into the roof gutter, and out of sight, maybe to the attic of my neighbor’s home. Clearly, he’s up to something.

I saw a mother rabbit and her bunny nibbling at the dewy clover. They were relaxed in their surroundings, and quite hungry. It made me think of one of my favorite children’s stories: The classic called  The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown. The bunny hopes to be free from his mother, and tells her all the ways he plans to runaway. The mother rabbit does not tell him stay, but rather shows her steadfast love for him. She accepts his wild heart. She comforts him. For every idea he shares about leaving, she has a plan to love him faithfully and reunite with him. This story was refered to in a theological way profoundly in a  film I saw called Wit starring Emma Thompson. It’s a movie that changed me, and help me see God, better.

Wit was adapted from the play W;t, by Margaret Edson. ( In the context of the play, the semicolon refers to the recurring theme of the use of a semicolon versus a comma in one of John Donne’s Holy Sonnets.) Wit won the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for Drama. The main character, Vivan, a college English professor, is dying of ovarian cancer. At the end, Vivan’s admired, former-professor and mentor comes to visit while she is in town for her great-grandson’s birthday. She comforts her and offers to read to her a Donne sonnet. Vivian, scarcely conscious, declines. So instead, Dr Ashford reads from Margaret Wise Brown‘s The Runaway Bunny, which she had bought for her great-grandson. She remarks that it offers a lovely “allegory of the soul”: Wherever the soul tries to hide, God, comfortingly, will find it. (This section was taken from Wikipedia. Read it in full, here.)

God is our Mother Rabbit. For my son, I am a flesh and blood representation of God to him. I am his mother rabbit, and his is my beloved bunny.

I realize, even more thoroughly than I had realized before, that part of growing up includes the professions of and steps toward independence. Perhaps consistent love faithfulness are the most helpful things we can offer children who are not yet mature enough to make their own way in the world.

Thank you for coming along for this leg of the journey. Your thoughts or comments are quite welcome here.

Spiritual Formation is NOT cool

This quote was on Doug McFall’s facebook status on July 11th.

‎”Spiritual formation isn’t like a quickly spreading fire; it’s like a tree with deeply descending roots, establishing a foundation for future growth and fruitfulness. Through the disciplines each one of us becomes a fruitful tree, a place for birds to nest, a resting place for others. So God uses our lives to bear quiet but abundant fruit.” ~Joshua Choonmin Kang

It seemed incredibly true. Like, the truth hurts, kind of true. What hits me the hardest is the season of growth mentioned. It. takes. so. long. It’s not Wifi fast and connected. It’s not even telegraph level. It’s watch the grass grow slow.

I spent almost 4 years in graduate school studying Spiritual Formation. As a theological conservative, Evangelical female, I probably couldn’t have made a more costly and career-limiting move. For instance, in half the time, I could have become a physician’s assistant and pulled in $120K a year. BOOM.

I have no aspirations to pastor a church, and paid leadership roles or positions are more rare “for my kind” than Squirrels at Bikini Bottom, under the sea. No, wait, a polkadot unicorn…under the sea…and wearing a business suit.

I’ll get my money back out of my investment…that is if I live to be 346 years old.

Besides all that $ and education stuff. Spiritual Formation is an extremely slow process. So slow, and messy, in fact, that I would venture that it is basically unAmerican. It doesn’t have a formula for quick multiplication of adherents, (so it won’t make maga-churches or bring in the greenback$) and it…get this… takes work. DOWNER!

To become a disciplined (trained) and a more mature follower of God, takes, well discipline. What is more uncool than that?

So, why bother? I must be such a fool.
But there is a great reason I sum up in one word: transformation.

Not the jackpot you thought?

God’s Holy Spirit really and truly transforms us. It’s a joy to see it, and be a part of it. I have to give up most of what I thought I could achieve to pick this path. But, it’s funny, or maybe even more foolish, but I just trust God about it. And that’s is exactly why I know a concentrated effort and a willing heart can lead to a richer love of God, and a fuller understanding of who he is. You see, I wouldn’t have felt this way 4 years ago. It’s been an active grace of God toward me. I would have been worried. I would have been more self-seeking. I have a long way to go and grow, but I see God’s amazing love. I see his work in this world, and I see it ( at least somewhat) in and through me, in ways I would have missed. I know I am more available to love others and care for them and their souls. (whole-being….care of soul)

Still, these are not cool qualities. At. All. Spiritual Formation, if it could ever be trendy, would fade out of vogue, much faster than silly bands. In a small sense, I think I can relate to the disabled community for these reasons. It makes the study of disability that much more interesting I think. There is something worthwhile in choosing “disability” so to speak (a weaker or lesser role, a susceptible path).

In this spot I think I’m set up to be more dependent and vulnerable. I don’t have clout. Few people listen to what I say. It’s a pilgrim’s way, and it can be lonely at times, because the vision I have doesn’t seem very shinny or sparkly. It doesn’t seem to have a primo payoff. It’s not glamorous. Quite the opposite. It’s not even upwardly mobile, and in plenty of suburban and rural areas, this isn’t just UNcool, it’s near-scandalous. The rewards don’t come instantly, and plenty of times they don’t come at all.

I’m getting better acquainted with my thorough uncoolness. Strangely, there is a slight but real hope that comes with that. And it feels like I’m wearing new shoes.

Have you somehow chosen the uncool, plain, or “lesser” way? (perhaps in your pursuits, your career, your role, your authority, etc)

Thoughts? Comments? Responses?

Adventures in Poison Ivy…

Poison Ivy (sure she looks alright... but).

Today is my 5th day with Poison Ivy. I wish getting a rash from the stuff made me look like Uma Thurman in the Batman Series. But no. It’s on my right hand, my neck, and my face. (I’ll spare you a picture…but if you’re weird and very curious you can find one I posted on Facebook… cause I’m weird. It was really more of a cry for help.)

My husband was impervious to the wiles of the wicked weed throughout his whole life. He was a sort of “Leaves of three, won’t hurt me,” kind of person. He was quite immune, and had an immense confidence in his resistance.

Little did he realize that one can develop a sensitivity at any time in life; sometimes suddenly–out of nowhere. You probably know where this is going, right?

Yep. Two years ago he yanked out a very pesky vine in our yard, and developed bumps under his watchband. “Bug bites,” he said. Very nasty and itchy bite causing bugs, with the kind of kind of moxie to work around and under a tight plastic strap, and skip all the easy biting areas. Hands? Ankles? Neck? That’s for sissy bugs! These bugs were The Seal Team 6 of the insect world.

After a few days, and the “bug bites” spreading (strangely enough), he complained how powerfully allergic he turned out to be to these vicious insect creatures. I took one look, and said, “That looks just like poison ivy.”

He said, “It can’t be poison ivy. I don’t get poison ivy.” Still, he agreed to have the doctor take a look, and was treated with a steroid for guess what? Now, he lives a life of fear for that side of our yard. Recollecting the agony has made him a different man.

HERE is a link to properly identify these common rash inducers.

People can be like poison ivy. Sure everything is innocuous at first. Maybe, we think, “Great, they’re raspberries!” Raspberries have leaves-of-three. And raspberries are delicious! Mmm. We interact with them, and after some searching, we don’t seem to find the fruit we thought we would. Nevertheless, no ill comes of it. It’s more of a enigma than anything. Hardy plants too. Look at them take off!

Then one day, it strikes us, these leaves-of-three people actually cause irritation, and a distracting burning itch…that spreads. You may try to make it work. You may try to just “semi-interact” with them, but a rash is always the result. Usually, it’s the kind of rash that gets a bit worse with each encounter.

Finally, you realize, “Leaves-of-three, let them be.” They are, in fact, poisonous to you and many others…even though they may seem like wonderful raspberries at first. Where they are comes annoyance, pain, or vexation. They are clever look-alikes. Nothing can make them raspberries, and you have to stop acting as if there is a way that a wholesale change into “something else” is possible. You realize you can cancel their debt of inflicting you, but you don’t want to be touched by them, or get too close anymore. It’s just not worth it.

Have you ever had to avoid a “poison ivy person”?

What are some cures or remedies you’ve heard of for helping with poison ivy? (The plant kind, or the people kind.)

And I’m really curious, What kind of prayer do you think might help with regards to poison ivy people?

 

The Lord’s Prayer is…

This Sunday is my final lesson in the Route 66 Series (Adventures in Spiritual Formation). I will be reviewing the last 11 weeks (briefly), and then capping it off with an examination of the passage of what has come to be called, The Lord’s Prayer. And we will pray it communally as well. It’s a Christian unity thing.

Do you have any questions or concerns about the Lord’s Prayer?

Here’s a tiny excerpt from a seminary research paper I did of the theology, literary structure, and message of The Lord’s Prayer.

…The Lord’s Prayer comes as the centerpiece in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7:29) in which Jesus lays out what is vital for citizens in the Kingdom of God. Early in the Christian movement, the practice of saying the Lord’s Prayer before Communion (weekly) and [typically] praying it three times per day is documented. It formed a “token of their identity as Christians,” and was also called, the “prayer of believers”.1

The elements of adoration in The Lord’s Prayer propel us to appreciate God’s immanence and transcendence: a theological fundamental. God is hallowed, his kingdom heavenly, his earthly kingdom is both current and imminent. His kingdom will be forevermore.

The worship and adoration of God is crucial in prayer, and in this Prayer, not just because God is most worthy of it, but because we are spiritually formed by our saying, believing, and embracing those truths. We commune with God, and know him more fully as this reality is further congealed in our minds each time this is lived out.

Theologian Kevin Vanhoover contends that in praying the Lord’s Prayer we together experience our Father, our common sonship, and common our inheritance with Jesus. It is precisely the communal aspect of adoring that helps us to be ordered rightly. Furthermore, Vanhoozer states that when praying in this manner with Jesus, we participate in the family of God, and acknowledge God as Lord, while acknowledging oneself as contingent in the filial relationship made possible by the Son of God and the Spirit of adoption.2

1 Jeremias Joachim, The Prayers of Jesus. Studies in Biblical Theology, Second Series 6 (Naperville, IL: Alec R. Allenson, Inc., 1967), 63, 78.

2 Kevin J. Vanhoozer The Drama of Doctrine: A Canonical Linguistic Approach to Christian Theology (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2005), 225.

Literary Structure of the Sermon on the Mount (proposal)

Literary structure/pattern and use of the Lord's Prayer Matt. 6:9-15. (proposal)

©Lisa DeLay 2010

Here is the prayer:

The Lord’s Prayer
Matthew 6:9-13 (King James Version)

9After this manner therefore pray ye:

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

10Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

11Give us this day our daily bread.

12And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.

Amen.

Now it’s your turn:
Pick at least one question and respond.

What questions come to mind about the Lord’s Prayer?

When was the last time you said the Lord’s Prayer?

What are your feelings or thoughts about it?

 

Is God our Cupbearer?

From the poem of Mechthild (of Magdeburg, 13th century) translated “The Flowing Light of the Godhead” we get a fascinating picture of God-Three-in-One (in Book II).

God as Cupbearer

[Cupbearer] noun chiefly historical or poetic/literary
a person who serves wine, esp. in a royal or noble household.

At first blush it may seem insulting to consider God in this servant role. Yet, God has always treated his people like royalty. He has always been the God who serves.

Former slaves in Egypt, the wandering Israelites were to be donned in fashions or regalia of the priestly class, and participate in many temple priestly rites and rituals, no matter their social class or gender. Unlike the pagans gods of the region, Yahweh–the living God–instituted numerous festivals and feasts, not for his pleasure and consumption, but for his people to enjoy.

A cupbearer tastes the drink and food before the king does. Utmost loyalty and devotion are required. If food is spoiled or poisoned, the cupbearer will pay the price, saving the King from harm. Didn’t God do this for us with our sin?

A helpful image in worship and prayer may be to envision God (Trinity, three-in-one God) as Cupbearer, Cup (becoming a broken cup pouring out life for us, in the sacrifice of Jesus the Christ) and the Wine from the Cup, as the healing presence of the Holy Spirit.

It is because God has served us so well, become broken and died from the poison we should have gotten, that we may be healed and redeemed by his Spirit, like healing Wine.

Have you heard this comparasion before? Does this visual help you? why or why not?

Thoughts? Comments?