(photo: "Don't touch the hair of a prospective boss!")
A very long interview reminded me of how stressful they can seem.
With so many people looking for work and too few jobs, it’s no wonder people make mistakes during an interview.
QUICK TIPS:
•Don’t let panic strike you, especially if you have a weak bladder.
•Don’t say anything that pops into your head, even if it seems funny.
•A case of the nerves can make you think of super funny things to say that are actually inappropriate, and you might not really realize that until later.
•If you’re nervous, calm yourself with a mantrum (MAUN-trum), but don’t say it out loud, especially while rocking back and forth. Also, settle for decaf. I mean that.
Here are some great things to not say during your interview:
10. “You can’t call my references because they all have died…rather suddenly.”
9. “Why do your eyes tell me I have the job, but they also say, ‘stay away from dairy’?”
8. “You look almost exactly like the pedophile that lives down the street from me. You must be related. Do you know Chester the Child Moles…oh wait, that’s not his real name .”
7. “I’ve said it a thousand times, ‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m much smarter than you’.”
6. “Oh, I’m sorry; that hair was impossibly long. I didn’t think is was connected.” (based on an actual conversation, but not one of mine)
5. “What is your policy about smoking pot in the office?”
4. “I have this crazy feeling we’ve met. Were you ever a little smellier and homeless?”
3. “Pull my finger. No seriously, this is hilarious.”
2. “Gosh, I haven’t been asked that since my last DUI.”
1. “Oh, yeah, I’m going to love your office, once your gone… and I know what you’re thinking! Of course I’ll repaint it.”
Now it’s your turn: What are some other things not to say?
Spirituality/theology AND humor ≠ peanut butter and jelly?
Peas and carrots?
or More like jelly and mayo?
Or hair and cheesesteak?
Are people who study God (theologians) humorous as much as they are serious?
In my case, yes.
But does that gel? I’m talking like jell-o giggler, gel? Really nicely, with fun and good flavor, and joint protection.
Okay, I’m not paid to teach theology, not yet anyway, so I’m not a pro. Several hundred hours of study should count for something though.
But, I’ve noticed something: If someone tends to take their studies seriously, and their profession seriously, sometimes they lose their sense of humor. It’s not that they can’t be witty on occasion. But I’ve noticed the “humor” can be more sarcastic than uproarious. Theology can be rather dry… but not as in dry humor.
It’s beginning to bother me some, because of the sense that one “has to” pick one way or the other.
• Either you get your respect and admiration seriously honing your forte and thoughts of God, or you pick some sort of madcap way and get sort of dismissed as a lightweight.
Well, rubbish to that.
It shouldn’t be so.
It is a genius blend to be genuinely comical and also thoroughly studied on the important matters of living in this world with a firm consideration of the Divine as the center of it.
It might look like I’m putting it in my mouth, but I have to put my foot in both camps.
So, I’m putting my readers on notice. (Don’t think: Wittenberg Door “notice”. Think: dry erase board.) As anyone knows, straddling can lead to a good hard thwack in the center. I realize this is RISKY. Those of you that know me personally realize this co-mingled vantage point is from where I operate. Some of you may just…not “get it”.
Stay with me here.
I’m not sure where we got the idea that spirituality must be flaky or humorless. Sobriety is one thing, but cheerless? Parish the thought.
If you are new here, welcome. I invite you to what is an engaging game of Twister®, if you will. Here I will not kowtow to stern conventions of how we must study and know God, and our selves, as spiritual creatures. And no, I’m not a witch. Don’t be so stocked, or “freaked” in any way. (Plus, I weigh more than a duck…)
Isn’t God young? It is us who have gotten old and crotchety. Severe or joyless. Being truly alive doesn’t look much like that.
What do you think…?
Have you lost your sense of humor?
Do you find it doesn’t mesh with diligently following God or knowing him well?
Are worship/awe and fun mutually exclusive within spirituality?
Summer is the time for picnics, and we’ve been to a bunch. Most of the time they have fairly standard fare. It’s times like these when I fantasize about having a “picnic flip-out.” Maybe the thought rushes through my head that I should scream, “God give me the strength not to choke these people, because if I see another hotdog at another freakin’ picnic, I swear, I will fling it against the vinyl siding and walk home.”
When is enough, enough?
5 Ways to know:
1. Hot dogs and hamburgers start to seem almost like itchy socks that you forget are itchy when it’s too late.
2. So tired of the customary seedless, you long for the old thrill of finding a giant black watermelon seed–even if it looks like a carpenter ant the first time you see it.
3. Seeing a paper plate has started to make you angry.
4. “Kabob” seems like aneurotic word than an exotic word.
WARNING: A HEAT ADVISORY IS IN EFFECT FOR THIS ENTIRE POST. DEHYDRATION AND RELATED HIGH TEMPERATURE ISSUES HAVE LIKELY COMPROMISED THE QUALITY AND COMPREHENSIBILITY OF THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL.
It’s been over 90º indoors all week. It’s hard to come up with coherent sentences, let alone enough rational thought to put together a decent post. (That’s the caveat, to aid you in lowering your expectations for what I might say in this post. I admit, it may be a total waste of your time.)
Unrelated, but on my mind:
We dropped off my daughter at (overnight) camp. It’s strange to arrive at this stage. Some camps have gotten techno-savvy. With a password, you can view photos from the day taken at camp. This was the cutest one of Ellie and her friends.
Ellie chillin' at camp
What was I talking about originally, heat?
So, did I mention it was incredibly hot? When you read 107º F on the outdoor thermometer, you start feeling grateful for the 92º F it is indoors. At 7:30 a.m. it was a comparably chilly 76º …. I audibly gasped. (However I didn’t run for my jacket, despite my shock. I wanted to feel it-really feel it.)
I tried climbing into the fridge, but several jars fell out. Only one leg would fit in. I’m building up my courage to get in the chest freezer next. It’ll be much cooler, but will feel degrading to be hanging out with the meat. Especially if I end up hearing disco music. I’m thinking I’ll feel dirty and cheap about it all, like a window mannequin in a swim suit. (They feel that way, right?)
Do you think more crime happens when it’s quite hot because people get crazed? Or, maybe less crime because moving while thinking is so much harder? Or maybe, crime happens, but it’s accomplished far more stupidly, for reasons already identified?
I don’t need central air conditioning…. this torment is too character building. (Do I sound like a martyr? I’m trying to be serious.)
I’m praying for rain too. It’s starting to look like desert around here, not just feel like it.
Around these parts, the elderly order (hot) soup when the extreme heat comes. Is it senility, or are they older and wiser about diet and body temperature?
Any comments, thoughts? Without air conditioning…how you do beat the heat?
Life *seems* like a “show about you” b/c you are in every scene and every episode.
Deconstructing the “Show about You” –
By default our heads are filled with an odd and faulty knowledge/sense that Life is a Show about ourselves. Each person thinks he/she must be the center of the universe (think: reality lived out), until something, or someone interrupts this notion. Living outside this worldview takes practice, increased maturity, and concerted effort. Cultural norms and money makers do not encourage us to turn the channel from “The Show About Me”.
Sounds like a blanket statement, right? It sounds like I’m saying everyone is a dirty, rotten jerk, and that can’t possibly be true?
Okay, let me back it up and just start with a few questions:
Think about these 5 questions as you read them and answer truthfully (to yourself, or if you feel that sharing will help others, leave your results in the comment section).
1. When you wake up in the morning do you think about the upcoming events in your day, or focus on your feelings?
2. Do thoughts of your past, present, or future occupy your time in your day?
3. Do you endeavor to find pleasure and avoid pain?
4. Do you mentally weigh the personal benefit when making decisions and actions?
5. Do you long for people to think well of you, and you make decisions based on this factor?
Okay, maybe you skimmed those questions.
Maybe you don’t want to do a personal inventory. If you want to move on, and this is getting weird or uncomfortable, you’re headed for a rerun. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Before that happens, please, go back, for one more minute and read and consider the 5 questions. After you’re done,consider your results. If you answered “yes” or “sometimes” at all, you are fairly normal, and you are also living your life as the Main Star of your Show. You perceive reality as something that centers around, basically, _________. <—— (that’s a “say your name here” blank.)
So what? you say, doesn’t everyone? What’s the big deal?
Well, friends, it’s only a big deal if you want to feel unstuck….If watching the same re-runs of yourself meeting the same sorts of dead ends and disappoints, and having the same insatiable cravings, growing frustrations, and restricted and delayed growth wears on you, then yes, the deal is starting to head into a biggish area.
Seriously, re-runs are really what you get when the season’s over. No one is working anymore, and the networks hope more rehash won’t be too egregious and lame. After two or three times of the same stuff, we usually want something new, something better.
A whole other Reality is going on, and has been long before you, and will long after you. You may have been skimming on the surface of it, but you have to wake up and realize thoroughly that you are not the Star of the Show, and more importantly, it’s not your Show.
‘Ever seen the movie the Matrix? It’s like that, but with fewer people wearing sunglasses. …. oh never mind, The Matrix explanation is WAY too long and slippery. You’ll think you’re Neo, and we’ll be back where I started.
There’s a bit more to come:
In a few days, Part II of this reflection will get down deeper. Soon, I’ll also offer mental, spiritual, and emotional (maybe some concrete bits) ways many people have truly shifted their view to a more healthy one. We’re just getting the engine started on this vehicle to a new perspective. Let’s stick together–Meet back here soon.
Always feel free to leave your thoughts, experiences, or comments here. (Just after the tags below this post, it’ll say Leave a Comment. Not to be too obvious, and insult you, but….You click that.)
Or answer some questions:
Any guesses who the Star of the Show is?
What do you think Reality looks like with this different worldview/perspective?
And how would it be lived out? (examples, generalities, etc.)
