Tag: just

Guest writer at Everyday Liturgy

ELI’m very glad to have the honor of being the guest writer today at Thomas Turner’s blog:

Everyday Liturgy

Thomas wrote me saying,

I would love for you to contribute a 500 word (or so) post about how participating in a particular church or denomination has helped make you the Christian you are today. The purpose of this series is largely ecumenical, and looks at the positive you gleaned out of the experience. If you had a bad experience that turned into something good later on, I would think you could make a great post out of that…

Some of you may not know just how fundamentalist my roots are.

Here’s but one example:

Several people approached my mom to discourage her from marrying my dad. Why?

Because their offspring would be bi-racial.

Plenty of (fundamentalist) Christian groups at the time prohibited “inter-racial” dating and (obviously) marriage and pro-creation.

Southern Baptists were the slave-owning southerns who coined their monicker at the time of the American Civil War (to them known as “The War of the Northern Aggression”). Northern Baptists, as they were once called, later changed their name to American Baptist and became (typically) more progressive and liberal in their views over time.

Southern Baptists proliferated to many places outside of the the South (to the American North and through missionary work, to all parts of the world), but kept their name and, as you might guess, some of their same notions.

(To be fair, things have changed for the better, mostly. Today, folks in churches coming from that tradition run the gamut of very strict and conservative… “old school patriarchal imperialist southern” -if you will- to more gracious and relaxed in their dogma on issues of race, gender, and other matters.)

(By the way, my dad was Puerto Rican. Are you curious to see what he looked like? Here. Like most conversations about “race” –as if that was an actual thing– it’s really just vestige of a medieval mindset and a preoccupation about skin tones and/or physical features. Sadly, it still is and by people you would imagine would know better. But, I’ll tackle that in some other post.)

I wonder how many of them were relieved that I ended up having my mom’s light skin. 

(This is were Obama and I are alike. Like me, he actually looks more like his mom than his dad. Trust me, it’s true. I notice these things! :) )

 

So, what was my journey and where do I stand now?

Give it a read and find out!

Everything…but connection

chianlink

My friend Kayla visited her parents’ church over her summer break for 10 weeks or so.

They were attending this suburban church with a large attendance each Sunday morning and I thought she’d really enjoy the change. Maybe she would be disappointed to come back to her normal, small-town life.

When I asked her about it, she said, “I should have loved it. The music was amazing; the people friendly. They had lots of youth programs and small groups going, and the pastor chose meaningful things to teach. I should miss it, but I don’t.”

This surprised me, so I asked her why she thought this was.

She said something so simple that it gave me a punch of profundity.

“You don’t miss something you don’t feel connected to.”

I started to wonder about the people I’ve lost through death, circumstances, or diverging paths.

Some I missed and some I rarely thought of. Those I did not miss much weren’t really all too different (in general) from the ones I did miss. It didn’t directly reflect the quality of person they were or if we had a lot in common. Like Kayla pointed out, I missed the ones I felt connected with and to. Reflecting on that, the ones that had stronger bonds created more longing or loss in the void of their absence.

That may seem pretty obvious, but the critical gap comes in when we miss why we are connected and what it means to be available and vulnerable on a regular basis with others you can trust. Apart from that, you won’t miss much.

I sense something has been lost in many communities of faith and in many other places because we are so much more amused by our distractions than we are connected in deep ways.

Human connection is never really about measurable stats. We already realize this. It’s about investment in others, sure,

but it’s also about the reciprocity of that investment. It’s always a two-way street.

Some people are wonderful and you invest and hope for a harvest–of some sort–where you both benefit, and you assume they do too, and then it doesn’t happen. The fruition doesn’t manifest or withers on the vine. Maybe the soil was bad, maybe a storm came or drought, or pestilence, maybe something else thwarted success. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times you just sense something is wrong that is hard to make right again. Sometimes you just need to move on and other times, you have to try again in a new season with different seed.

That happens in faith communities and in interpersonal relationships. It happens in business and in extended family life.

If the connection is lacking you won’t be missed. And you won’t miss them. It’s likely that you will feel disappointed about that.

We overlook the idea and process of true connection even as we want it the most.

 

Is there some thing or someone you’d like to feel more connected with?

Oh,
3 more things.

1. I will be posting a “spiritual-themed” topic about once per week. The other times I will concentrate on other ideas depending on what strikes me and will often concentrate on topics related to helping you create and communicate better.

2. I really am excited to see what this year brings and I’m really happy you came today.

3. Check the top right sidebar to get the next post sent to you through Feedburner!

 

On Using Better Words – 5 Tips

If you are using some of these words, you may want to rethink your profile bios on Facebook, Twitter, and the rest.

Avoid being hackneyed. Freshen. Liven it up.

Here are my FIVE Tips and a cool slide share I found on overused words.
May you really enjoy it!

1. Show the real you. (Are you fun, classy, funny, nerdy, crafty? Let it show in your bio.)

2. Be memorable. (Stand out in a good way. Be the highlight of someone’s day.)

3. Reverse-engineer what someone else is doing well and add your twist.

4. Limit the Obvious (It’s just dull.)

5. Remember your Target (Who are you hoping reads it? Speak to them, first.)

 

(So, you have to be responsible to not use the buzzword responsible. Got it.)
I hope you are glad you stopped by. Keep in touch…contact me to say hi, or linkup for future updates!

Discovery: The Cave of the 5 Kings

photo by David A. Dorsey (area of Makkedah)
photo by David A. Dorsey (area of Makkedah)

 

This is my final post that pays tribute to Dave Dorsey, in light of his recent passing. (To read the others, please use the search field in the sidebar and search “Dorsey”.)

One of the lasting legacies of David Dorsey is in archeology.

After much research and motorbiking around the area. Dorsey correctly located the biblical place Makkedah–the location of the cave where five Canaanite kings hid from Joshua (Josh 10:16).

In class he gave us the details of this adventure which included a lot of language research (forensics, really), visiting the area and speaking with local inhabitants, and even included a strange tale of a strange (and he said perverse) Arab man who offered him his wife and daughter for sexual pleasure.

(I’ve heard of Middle Eastern hospitality…but that’s just too hospitable, right?)

Dorsey’s proposal was not accepted immediately– theories are typically contested–but the location is well-accepted now in reference books and textbooks. It’s commonly seen printed on Biblical maps that refer to that time period. If you hear the story, think about Dave and this contribution. It’s a fine legacy.

You can read his paper on the location here.

You can read of this and other findings in this book.

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this brief foray into the influence Dave Dorsey had on me. I could continue this series for a long time, and perhaps, once in a while, I will post a gem of knowledge or wisdom he gave me.