Tag: punitive

End of 2023—SSL 290: There is no future without this main thing

Closing out 2023, I’m thinking about how we make a better future and I’m featuring insights on forgiveness from Archbishop Desmond Tutu (1931-2021) and the African concept of ubuntu that can make the future possible.

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I spoke December 10th at 1pm PST!

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15 fantastic teachers! Very insightful and enjoyable.

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5 Ways Others Sabotage Your Creative Mojo

sky painter Sam Javanrouh via Compfight

When you’re doing a project, starting something creative, or otherwise trying to upgrade your life, sabotage comes at you from many angles.

Think of it as a sign that you’re on the right track.

A little prep work can serve to inoculate you from intentional or unintentional sabotage.

5 Ways Others Sabotage Your Creative Mojo

1. Diversion. Fun opportunities, a needy spouse or friend, or a buzz of busyness will pervade your surroundings splitting your energies, and stretching you too far. Sometimes your focus and determination will draw others to you like a magnet. But instead of giving useable support,  they’ll be agents of distraction. Strict boundaries are the best defense.

2. Guilt-trips. Phrases like,
“You don’t seem to have time for me.”
“I never see you anymore.” 
“You seem so busy.” give you the sense that you’re not being a good person as you pursue your project. Reassure these saboteurs while claiming ground. Tell them you have to balance your life differently now.

3. Bargain-makers. “If you do “this” for me, I’ll do “this” for you,” type phrases signal that your creative energy or determination is being met with a subtle attack. It’s a way to be manipulated away from your task at hand, too. You might need to clarify you needs succinctly and repeatedly: “I’m sorry I can’y get off-task right now. I’ll be able to do more in a month (or whatever time you decide).

Just in writing this very post, I’ll had to say this to my two children 8 times in the last 15 minutes. The “broken record” tactic sends a solid message like only repetition can. But, you must persist!

4. Punitive Words and Deeds. Be it the “cold shoulder”, the passive aggressive responses, yelling and confrontation, or subtle bullying, when others pushback at what you’re doing you must muster the mental toughness to soldier on. Do it before the punishment comes from them.

5. Threats.
 When others say, “If you do that, this will happen.” Or, “I don’t think I can support you if you go in this direction,” they may be trying to manipulate your creative mojo off-task for selfish reasons. If/then statements offer a tipoff that all or nothing attitudes pervade your interactions and risk derailing you. Minimize threats with a calm resolved response and carry on.

 

Surely there are others. What trips you up?