5 Reasons You can’t Fix People

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  • (#1) Sorry to be blunt, but it’s just not your job. It never was.
  • (#2) You’re pretty crappy at fixing yourself.
    If you were good at fixing yourself, you would’t want to fix other people.
    In them (the “un-fixed”) you see yourself.
  • (#3) You don’t have that kind of power. It’s inappropriate to think you do.
  • (#4) People resent the condescension, so even if you try to be kind in the fixing it’s counterproductive.
  • (#5) People are supposed to have some unfixable spots.
    I write about “broken jars” here.

What are the alternatives?

  • Walk with people
  • Be a good influence
  • listen more
  • love more
  • learn more
What are some reasons or alternatives for you?

Contemplative Reading Recommendations

Advent Season is the perfect time to get all high octane spiritually speaking. Read, meditate, pray, and learn from others, and you will be so enriched as you enter the Christmas season.

My favorite undertaker, and writer friend, Caleb Wilde has been blog writing about God and Greek influence. And it struck me how much the Contemplative stream of Christianity may help inform us about things and in places where our finite intellectualizing fails us. The intersection of life and death is one of those spots.

I asked Caleb who and what he’s read from this (as Richard Foster says) “Stream of Christianity”, and he asked for recommendations. So, I thought, I’d offer them to all of you.

Please recommend your favorites too.

My not-by-any-means exhaustive list of favorite Contemplative Stream writers.

By way of a high-qulaity but compact primer I recommend Richard Foster‘s who gives a fantastic overview to each of the 6 Streams of Christianity. His “Streams of Living Waters” book covers the basic 6 traditions categorized as: Charismatic, Holiness, Contemplative, Social Justice, Evangelical,  and Incarnational flavors (if you will) within all of Christianity through the ages since Christ.

Gaining Christian spiritual insights from devoted lovers of God outside your own era and your own experience of a specific faith tradition is an invaluable blessing, and very faith building. Foster outlines major points and people of the Contemplative Stream, starting with the apostle John, in the book you see below:

Classic contemplative standby: Frances of Assisi (1181-1226)

Brother Lawrence (1611-1691) The Practice of the Presence of God (short read, and free online. sweet.)

Frank Laubach (1884-1970)


Evelyn Underhill (1875-1941)

Thomas Merton (1915-1968)

Thomas Merton “In My Own Words”

Henri Nouwen 1932-1996)

Here are 2 useful previously posted articles on this Stream.
1. Kataphatic and Apophatic Prayer Explained
2.Meditation to Contemplation – Kataphatic to Apophatic Prayer (an prayer exercise/experience)

Welcome to Advent

The season before Christmas is a special one, and not because of great shopping deals. It’s not because we make gifts, or sing carols, or decorate, or bake special things, visit with family or light candles at the Christmas Eve service. It’s not even about giving more to others. Well, that’s just the tip of the Christmas iceberg.

Advent is about anticipation and hope. As Christians, we celebrate the things God has done and is doing in various seasons of the year. Creating a special time of year for focus on particular spiritual truths allows those truths to gain more weight and more meaning in our everyday lives. Advent lasts four weeks, and it’s a holiday season full of introspection, reflection, hope, and divine mysteries.

Rituals and traditions often cement social and relational bonds, ready our hearts for worship, and create the vital space and time for better adoring our Creator. Not only does memory solidify our perceptions of reality now, but it prepares us for future love, service, and devotion, to God and others.

In these four weeks of Advent I’ll feature meditations, reflections, art, and more (from me and others) interspersed among typical posts to focus our spirits on the good things of God, and the time we celebrate the most amazing gift of grace from our Living God, Jesus, the Incarnation. Our Redeemer, Savior, and King.

To participate in a richer way, view the Artists Advent Project page.

Blessings this season.

5 Ways to Get Whatever you Want

1. Shun Meaningful Relationships

  • The problem with interpersonal intimacy is that it diminishes one’s ability to hone self-centeredness. Once others start to matter you sometimes have to take them into consideration. Two Words, people: Lone Wolf.

2. Don’t Get Married/Stay Married

  • One of the first things you learn, and then continue to learn repeatedly through the years, is that marriage puts your selfishness under a looming, bright, hot spotlight. There is no need to build those skills of negotiating compromise, because unfettered selfishness is crucial to consistently getting what you want.

3. Don’t Be A Good Parent

  • From birth children are needy. Constantly, one must put his children’s welfare ahead of his own. Even one’s ambitious and preferences routinely are relegated to second priority, or much worse. All this practice of deferring weakens you, so you hardly ever get whatever you want. I’ve seen this happen a ton of times.

4. Don’t Commit to People or Ideals

  • Believing in something, or being loyal, severely compromises your abilities to get whatever you want. One minute you’re doing something nice for someone, or some cause, and the next minute your going well out of your way. Talk about getting derailed!

5. Don’t Grow Compassionate

  • As people elicit your pity, or draws you into some sort of endearment, it lights the fuse on the bomb that will eventually explode your efforts to get whatever you want.
If you can avoid all these trappings, you will probably grow expert at getting whatever you want. Of course don’t expect anyone to like it, or like you. As a kind of plague to those in your world, you will continue to seek meaning, but only find it rarely; and even then it will be fleetingly.
Have you been harmed selfishness?

Review of “The Gospel of Matthew: God With Us” in the Resonate Series

This is my official *review of The Gospel of Matthew: God with Us
(The 2nd Book in the Resonate Series, bMatt Woodley • Foreword by Leonard Sweet • Afterword by Skye Jethani)

More than Your Usual Commentary

First, my Confession.
My confession is this: I was raised to think, you open your Bible and the Holy Spirit tells you what it means. End of story. Consequently, I rarely used a commentary until I went to seminary, where I used them routinely.

Immediately, I realized how much added insight was missing from my study of the Bible. I found that reading the thoughts of men and women who had devoted many years of concentrated examination of Scripture was like having a spiritual big brother or sister showing me the ropes. Invaluable.

The Holy Spirit
I wondered too if my view of the Holy Spirit had been shallow or incomplete. Hum…I thought…If the Holy Spirit simply plugs truth from the Bible into our brains and hearts, you’d think disagreements about Scripture would be few and far between. But, if Protestants know how to do anything, it’s splitting off from others because “the Holy Spirit” has told them other stuff from the Bible.

So, maybe the Holy Spirit’s role isn’t that simple or clear cut as we may first assume. Maybe the Holy Spirit tells us about God’s nature more than it exegetes hermeneutic in concrete terms inside our heads. Maybe the Holy Spirit is alive, well, and active in and through the brothers and sisters who write these carefully created analysis, too. Maybe it’s a bit like a joining forces kind of thing.

I sincerely wish everyone who reads the Bible would use various commentaries along the way, as tools, to better grasp the whole council of God. God has given people great scholarly and spiritual capacities to shed more light on the things in the Bible–and we are blessed to share in these gifts. It’s worth the time to get some help this way.

Not Your Typical Commentary

Now to the review:

If you aren’t used to reading bible commentaries (and you might realize that some are extremely dry and academic, using lots of Greek and Hebrew to explain things, as if you are already adept at these dead languages), then I highly recommend this new Resonate Series from Likewise, at IVP. They published one of the Gospel of John. This one on Matthew is the 2nd. More are coming.

I got a copy of IVP’s Matthew commentary from the publisher, and the more I read, the more it had an impact on me. The power of Matthew’s gospel is amazing, and this commentary takes Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection seriously. The gospel is cogent, and we find this out directly.

As you might expect, this particular book is helpful resource for pastors, teachers, spiritual leaders, and lovers of the Word who need a thorough synopsis. Yet, Matt Woodley also points out some concepts overlooked in some commentaries and typical sermons, and keeps our present cultural context in mind–which is sometimes nonexistent in typical commentaries. However, there is something about this book that will serve a different purpose, and do so quite powerfully. More on that a little later.

The author maps out the territory of Matthew’s gospel, in normal language, for one to get a lay of the land, or survey the crucial themes. You’ll find vignettes of pertinent personal stories, and the this gospel is covered in sections and main points. The style is very pastoral, like a casual but deep, personal interaction. (Don’t expect a commentary in the vein of D.A. Carson,  Craig L. Blomberg, or Craig S. Keener, and the like. Some of these commentaries, while very helpful, go verse by verse and are chiefly informative.) This commentary has a personal touch. There is narrative finesse.

Yes, pastors can quickly mine it for some perfunctory and fresh teaching ideas, but Woodley whets the reader’s appetite to dig further into the Word and the amazing mystery of an active and loving God who came to be with us.

The Best Kept Secret about this book…

Now I have to tell you what I wish the book would be used for most…I don’t think the publishers really had this in mind, exactly…or they probably wouldn’t have categorized it as a commentary in the first place. I think the book is a bit mis-categorized…but then again, they tell you it’s usually right up front. So, whatever.

The surprise ending is this: It would be best used in one-to-one and small group discipling, for developing spirit-filled, potential leaders, and those hungry for more of God and his Word. It’s written in a way that begs for an intimate and richer discussion, not just a proclamation from the front of the building. This book has discipleship written all over it.

My background is Spiritual Formation. I’ve focused on the whys and hows and history of spiritual growth in Christians throughout the history of the Church. I’ve spent plenty of time answering the question: “What makes Christ-like followers?”. So, I couldn’t help see this work as an excellent resource for inciting spiritual growth on a personal level. I’d like to see it used for this over being used as a tool for sermon preparation. Sorry IVP. That’s just how I see it.

If you want to take this sort of thing on in your life, get this book right away. It’s the perfect fit. Find a peer, a friend, a hungry seeker or Christian, or a mentor, and work through this book together, with the Bible in hand. It’s a down-to-earth examination that many will find helpful.

Here’s some added book info:
The Facebook Page for this series will help you keep track of this whole series of commentaries as the project unfolds, and give you an insider scoop for other stuff, including interaction with the authors and editors. Also, searching for the Twitter hashtag #resonateseries will locate other reviews and related material. I think the blog tour runs all month, if I remember correctly.

*Obligatory Disclaimer (to satisfy the FCC). I received a free copy of this book from IVP to review it on my blog, which is probably pretty darn obvious by now. An honest review (not a positive one) was the only essential. So that what ya’ll got.

RELATED: Here’s a previous post I wrote about how to study the Bible, and what people usually get wrong. I think you’ll like it.