stumble Archives - Lisa Colón DeLay

How Love is like Lightening

All the most powerful and wondrous things of living and being human cause language to falter and stumble short. The ways of the heart are not a language at all, but a territory. A place, wild and untamed where we find our home in each other and reside, sometimes like beasts and sometimes like flowers.

Enumerations that try to pull back the veil on love are feeble attempts to list mysteries. But, we should do it for each other, nonetheless, to remember what lasts and remember how the happiness of love is had in moments and short fits.

Outside of those moments, we have remembrances to help us map our way back to what is real. What is us.

Bargaining with God and life

I get into this thing sometimes and I catch myself trying to cut a deal.

It’s bargaining. I do it with myself and in prayer.

I’ve noticed that the 5 stages of Grief are also the same as the Stages of Change.

If you’ve ever started something new that should be a good thing and then felt conflicted?

It’s because there is a loss of something involved. Maybe something familiar. Maybe dream. Maybe a place. Maybe a group of people or a person. It’s a process of grief to move through, even for seemingly simple things. Change and grieving are linked.

Stage 1: Denial

(Nothing’s really changed. Nothing big really happened. Everything is normal.)

Stage 2: Anger

(I really don’t like this. I feel frustrated and upset. I want to lash out or numb out.)

Stage 3: Bargaining

(How about if I do this, you can come through for me in this way. Or. If I do this, maybe this other thing will happen.)

Stage 4: Depression

(I don’t want to deal with this. I’m going into my shell. Go away.)

Stage 5: Acceptance

(It’s going to be okay.)

I wonder what would happen if we prayed with each stage in mind. Like a roadmap. When we got to the bargaining part, we might just smile, because the script is already there. How funny. Maybe we don’t even have to do it. Or we can do it and in the ritual of it we could heal.

Then, perhaps, in the depression stage we can just sit in silence with God and not feel so alone. Then–I’m guessing here–the Acceptance is more thorough and includes not just accepting the newness but feeling accepted where ever you are too. If only I could catch the stages before they get to me.

However it works, the process will happen again and again. They don’t tell you this stuff when you’re a kid. You stumble into knowing that most of life is like reincarnation in bits and pieces of us. The same patterns. The same stages repeated. The same getting there again and again. For the first time and repeatedly.

What change are you in right now?

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photo source

What Makes a Good Leader?

This is the first question of the Leadership Synchroblog sponsored by Evangelical Seminary, running September 10th-14th.

Though most of us don’t run big companies, command platoons, or lead mega-churches, but we’ve all had our experiences with leadership.

And in certain ways we all lead:

• As a parent

• As a mentor, coach, or teacher

• In ministry

• On a project

• At our job

• In our neighborhood

…and so on.

So you’ve probably learned some things along the way through your own experiences. OR, conversely, you’ve been led by an inapt leader…so, you know what NOT to do.

Whatever your story, you can read excellent Leadership resources AND join in the first Leadership Synchroblog in the week of SEPTEMBER 10-14th (2012).

Weigh in on “What Makes a Good Leader”. Other topics will follow, usually twice per month. You can check the blog for guest writers and new Synchroblog topics. Write you own contribution and then connect to this bigger conversation.

By contributing, you’ll be part of making leaders better and a larger community with this focus at the fore. We’ve invited some leading experts in the field to weigh in too, so don’t forget to check out what they have to say on Leadership at the blog.Contributor GUIDANCE / REQUIREMENTS:
To participate…
• Use the Leadership Synchro Contributor Badge– (up there)

• Encourage growth in maturity. (This means your piece should be positive toward education, training, and development, and notring negative or disparaging toward others. Such as a specific Leader’s failure, for instance.)

• Link back to through the Badge (or use a text link), that links back to this address: http://www.evangelical.edu/macl/

• Comment on a blog post at least one other Synchro Blog participant. Optimally, once per day (or more), during Sept 10-14th.

• Promote your own post (and the series) well through available outlets (like Facebook, Twitter, Stumble on, google+, etc) to generate interest.

Thank you for caring about this subject and doing what you can to nurture better leaders!

The Evangelical Seminary will host links to all contributions.

Response to Reader – Displeased with "erect nipples"

Michael wrote in to make me aware that my blog had a “luke-warm” message toward sexual temptation because one of the posted Flickr photos depicted a [clothed] “bra-less young lady with erect nipples.” He also included this verse for my edification, and to prove his point:

(red emphasis his)

1 Corinthians 10:31

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. ³²Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— ³³even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

I’m very sorry this was an upsetting experience for Michael, and fraught with potential sexual backsliding, for him, and possibly for others.

Originally, I had been impressed with the wordpress Flickr link that *automatically* generates, and rotatates submitted photos from a (supposedly) G-rated, artistic Flickr site file folder titled: “Interesting.” I hadn’t seen anything offensive, but I understand this photo might have crossed the line for some people–well, men and lesbians primarily, but also those who don’t like looking at chilly women (or men), female store mannequins, or being reminded that nipples seem to have a mind, and actions of their own. It seems foundational garments–lack of them–are a foil again! Just like in the 1960s.

I didn’t know the photo was in the rotation, and I’m sorry it (might have) stumbled some of you.

My decision-

Due to not having control over the nature of the photos my readers are exposed to, I am removing the auto-generated photo gallery link from Flickr for now. I prefer that Flickr was set up differently, so I could pick “landscapes,” or “scenery,” “topic themes,” or non-nippled photos that suit my taste, and have them displayed, rather than whatever “Interesting” might be to someone, which, in this case, turned out to be two small bumps in the road for me, and the Life As Prayer blog.

If anybody has a good suggestion for adding topical rotating photo art in the sidebar in wordpress, let me know; and until I figure out a better way to have revolving art that won’t titillate, um, so to speak, I’ll axe the Flickr shots that have been in the sidebar. Sorry to those of you that will miss them.

Weigh-in with your ideas, or thoughts.

Thank you. And sorry Michael.

P.S. This reminds me. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Support the Tat Tats! Wear pink, and remember that 40,610 will die of breast cancer this year! Get a mamo, or encourage the woman in your life, (or a man with man boobs) to do so!

(When I get lemons I make a lemonade post!)

Thanks everyone.