tragedy Archives - Lisa Colón DeLay

Welcome to Spark My Muse!

Every Friday is a conversation with a guest. My guest today is Erika Hayasaki. She teaches workshops in nonfiction writing and classes in digital storytelling at the University of California, Irvine, where she is an associate professor in the Literary Journalism Program.

In her career as a journalist Erika’s seen many tragedies, but it was her involvement with Norma Bowe, the instructor of an unorthodox and very popular course at Kean University called “Death Class”, that showed her a completely different way to think about death and living and initiated her celebrated book project by that same name.

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Erika’s website is here.

Her book based on the Death Class.
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SHOW NOTES

MIN 1 [Feb gift giveaway Facebook.com/sparkmymuse]

MIN 3 Erika’s journalism career and background.

MIN 7 Her spiritual religious context and upbringing / objectivity

MIN 12 How she was introduced to “Death Class” at Kean University with Norma Bowe,

and how the book about “Death Class” came about.

MIN 16 Field trips, general interest, fear of death, loss of a loved one, coming close to death are reasons people take the class.

MIN 19 Seeing an autopsy and death up close and how that changes you.

MIN 21 A renewed appreciation and outlook on life and the preciousness of living. Less anxiety around death and disaster after the class.

MIN 23 How we get exposed to death or stressful things in life and how we can process the scary things in life better.

MIN 25 Death anxiety is relieved more when people process through the ideas around death.

MIN 26 The afterlife and processing death in social contexts.

MIN 27 The “Death Salon” or “Death Cafe” or “Death Dinners”

exploring with art, socially, and with food the concepts and reality of mortality.

MIN 29 Alternative burial movement happening. We have become removed from the entire process like we used to be from the birth process.

MIN 30 How we grieve a loved one. How the Amish care from their dead.

MIN 32 Being with someone as they die.

MIN 34 CLICK for death salon reading list

MIN 35 Her uncle’s near death experiences.

Thank you for listening!
I hope you come back Wednesday for a new episode called Soul School.
If you enjoyed the show, please poke around and listen to other episodes and share the show with a friend!

xo
-Lisa

Today’s guest is a blogger, author, musician and a woman who suffered a string of terrible events and decided to tackle the topic of grief to help others through the process.

If you’ve suffered a loss or know someone who’s grieving, this book will bring some needed comfort and give you helpful information to help better. Alise and I have an important conversation today. Please scroll down to the shownotes to access the important links mentioned in the show.

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Visit ALISE CHAFFINS‘ website.

Her book on grief.
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Shownotes

Min 2:00
What is a good first step when someone is suffering?

MIN 3:00
“I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

Saying less is more.

Really listen to the language the person is using and echo it back to them and not the language that is comfortable for (you).

MIN 5:20
Using faith or heaven language might not be welcome.

MIN 9:30
About the string of suffering and trauma that brought grief to Alise and how she needed to get better through therapy and medication.

MIN 14:00
Medication during grief to process properly.

MIN 17:00
Isolation in grief. The paradox of uniqueness and universality of grief.

MIN 20:00
How we can share our grief with memories or with others in some way.

MIN 21:20
Grief Share organization and places to develop new rituals and finding community of other bereaved.

MIN 23:00

“Grief helps us find our humanity.”
Grief pulls us together. It’s the event that strips us of our humanity.

MIN 25:00
Attaching morality onto emotion is doing ourselves a disservice because it doesn’t allow us to feel what we feel. The actions beyond those feelings can be moral or immoral.

MIN 26:00
Grief and separation anxiety:
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Grief is the (normal) human emotional response to loss. It is a common part of human experience and may produce growth. We can lose people, places, objects, relationships, and even ideas. Some losses may not be actual, but anticipated, or a perceived loss. (25) Acute grief looks remarkably similar to a classic anxiety attack (same physical symptoms). It is similar to the feelings felt in fear. In grief one fears the loss of self through separation, and experiences separation anxiety. (28)

It is a function of attachment. It can be understood also as our emotions catching up with our reality. (38) The more we can love the more we can grieve. Our abnormal attachments show up (caused by an improper process of grieving) as permanent emotional detachment or heightened attachment. (30)

R. Scott Sullender, “Grief and Growth: Pastoral Resources for Emotional and Spiritual Growth” Paulist Press, 1985.

MIN 28:30
Stages of grief like a water cycle and forgiveness and grace.

MIN 31:30
Extending forgiveness during grief and the risk and humility needed.

MIN 32:15
Healing and time and doing our part and letting go once we’ve done what we can.

MIN 33:15
A mustard seed of faith that the story isn’t over yet. Reconciliation can mean we put our weapons down and that’s restoration too.

MIN 34:15
Recognizing progress.

MIN 35:00
Being more aware of grief in others so that you can have more grace during trying circumstances.

MIN 37:00

Alise’s website:

http://knittingsoul.com

FACEBOOK GROUP PAGE:
http://facebook.com/alisechaffins

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed the show please leave a review that will be helpful to would-be listeners on iTunes and don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter!

New episodes come out on Wednesdays and Fridays!

Tag: tragedy

EPS 49: The “Death Class” Trend – Guest Erika Hayasaski

EPS 39: Real Help for Loss and Grief with Alise Chaffins