UPDATE! the promo code word “breathe” will save you an EXTRA $25!
I’ve been sitting on some very exciting news, and it’s finally time to announce it. THIS MAY 24-26…
If you’ve ever gone to a conference or retreat and had a awesome time but left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or hit that infamous post-conference slump, something new has been designed with you in mind.
Powerhouse writers (and bloggers) Kristin Tennant and Ed Cyzewski wanted to create a weekend full of rejuvenation, time and space for reflection in a beautiful setting, practical help for writers with professional, emotional, and spiritual support. All this within a small community context (limited to a small number of guests for optimal awesomeness). It will be fun, relaxing and helpful–a time for laughter, honesty, and mutual care. A holistic retreat! Honestly, you’d be crazy to miss it.
All this for less than a typical hotel stay! So cheap. Such a gorgeous setting. So awesome, I can hardly contain myself.
The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writersis just that thing that you need.
Click to get the full details and photos of the accommodations and grounds! It promises to be an amazing time! You’ll want to dig around on the Renew and Refinewebsite and find out more.
You’ll find me there too as the Spiritual Director. I’m looking forward to meeting you, spending time together, and listening to your heart. There will be opportunities for engaging in guided Christian spiritual practices like prayer (various forms) meditation, worship, reflection, and silence, as well as a few spots for one-to-one spiritual direction/soul care, if you’re interested. (More on that in later posts)
Stay connected to the info and happenings leading up to this time by using or searching for #RRforwriters tag on Twitter.
Did you ever wish it was easier to navigate your responses to news and happenings on the interwebs? How should you blog when your passions get ignited, so you don’t look like an ass later? It’s a navigation issue.
OR
Did you ever wish you could teach someone how to avoid doing and saying things they might regret? (Or things you end up regretting for them.)
Now you can!
Okay, plenty of people don’t take good advice. Me included. Alanise Morrisette and I are not alone. Maybe you try to help your readers navigate, and they just don’t give a care. In hopes that they will, I made a graphic to help.
It’s like a flowchart that hopes to be considered an Infrographic, because infographics are where the coolness is.
Everything seems simpler with a visual, right?
TAH-DAH! The flowchart for navigating how we post on our blogs that you’ve been waiting for…or didn’t know you needed.
You like? Then, Take it. Use it. Spread it. Whatevs. It’s free. Enjoy.
courtesy of lisadelay.com
To get future infographics, free ebooks,
and stellar resources for Creators and Communicators, just sign up below:
Self-Destruction
Have you ever noticed how a person interacting online, or posting can sort of overtly or even subtly “self-destruct” right in front of you? Sort of like an inter webs Anna Nicole Smith, or something. I always feel a pang of embarrassment for them…Except when it’s me, than I just eat chocolate.
I can’t help but think, we bloggers, social media participants, and users of the interwebs should really reflect on why we do things.
You should be sitting down for this next part. Okay, you probably are already sitting down, duh. So, in that case, just take a deep breath, and keep an open mind, then, I guess.
Here’s a tough order. Consider a 2 WEEK media fast (you heard what I said….that means no Facebook, twitter, leaving comments on blogs, or making post entries, pinning, you know…whatever) if you see yourself having any of the following signs:
(2 days, or even 2 full hours can help too. You can opt for that one)
5 Signs that you need a break from the Interwebs.
1. If a 2 week, 2 day, or 2 hour interruption such as this seems unthinkable. Not sure why all the 2s.
2. If you find yourself perceiving things people say personally offensive, or as direct attacks. (Like maybe you think, that I think you’re getting paranoid, because you are…that would be an example.)
3. If you are “venting” more online.
4. If you get a substantial emotional charge when you interact, make a post, or reply online, etc. and perhaps feel empty or restless if that opportunity is denied or delayed.
5. If posting or being active in social media, or online makes you feel significant.
Check yourself.
The truth is, I’ve been able to checkmark each thing I mentioned. If that is the case for you, step back. Take some time off as a spiritual respite. It will save you from yourself.
If you can’t handle 2 weeks of “nothing”… what will you commit to? How about 2 days? No? 2 hours? Pick something and go with it.
Other suggestions of import: Invest some of your money or time into an in-person, formal or casual counseling relationship, spiritual direction, spiritual friendship/soul care, or mentoring arrangement which relies on speaking face-to-face with someone on the deeper things in your life, or on patterns you see in your reactions and interactions.
It seems that after awhile internet “community” is not primarily the healthiest way to relate to others. Trust me, you’re getting paranoid. And, it’s not because of me.
Want a Word Picture for this? Think of a wound that can’t get fresh air during the healing process. Gooey, and whatnot, right? That is what is happening to your insides when much of your interactions with others consist of online inter-personal communication. Rip off the Band-aid, YO!
If communicating online is a huge part of your life (you’re are a writer, a speaker, a leader, a blogger, a computer geek, an international man of mystery, etc), you can make an important shift, and find some freedom. Your breathing will be easier, and you’ll see more butterflies, I promise.
You can continue to write or express yourself in constructive and cathartic ways. Journal during your hiatus, and see what it’s like to do this sort of thing in private. Make note of the differences.
Now, hey…before you go…maybe for 2 weeks (gosh …what have I DONE?!..just when I’ve returned in all my opulent blogging glory… ahem…please note my jest), what are some signs you can think of that may indicate a break (okay…let’s say respite) is a wise idea?
I also help with getaways. Looky here
What are your related tips for having a balanced life?
(For more insights on taking a break, do a search here for “fasting”)
Life *seems* like a “show about you” b/c you are in every scene and every episode.
Deconstructing the “Show about You” –
By default our heads are filled with an odd and faulty knowledge/sense that Life is a Show about ourselves. Each person thinks he/she must be the center of the universe (think: reality lived out), until something, or someone interrupts this notion. Living outside this worldview takes practice, increased maturity, and concerted effort. Cultural norms and money makers do not encourage us to turn the channel from “The Show About Me”.
Sounds like a blanket statement, right? It sounds like I’m saying everyone is a dirty, rotten jerk, and that can’t possibly be true?
Okay, let me back it up and just start with a few questions:
Think about these 5 questions as you read them and answer truthfully (to yourself, or if you feel that sharing will help others, leave your results in the comment section).
1. When you wake up in the morning do you think about the upcoming events in your day, or focus on your feelings?
2. Do thoughts of your past, present, or future occupy your time in your day?
3. Do you endeavor to find pleasure and avoid pain?
4. Do you mentally weigh the personal benefit when making decisions and actions?
5. Do you long for people to think well of you, and you make decisions based on this factor?
Okay, maybe you skimmed those questions.
Maybe you don’t want to do a personal inventory. If you want to move on, and this is getting weird or uncomfortable, you’re headed for a rerun. I’ll get to that in a minute.
Before that happens, please, go back, for one more minute and read and consider the 5 questions. After you’re done,consider your results. If you answered “yes” or “sometimes” at all, you are fairly normal, and you are also living your life as the Main Star of your Show. You perceive reality as something that centers around, basically, _________. <—— (that’s a “say your name here” blank.)
So what? you say, doesn’t everyone? What’s the big deal?
Well, friends, it’s only a big deal if you want to feel unstuck….If watching the same re-runs of yourself meeting the same sorts of dead ends and disappoints, and having the same insatiable cravings, growing frustrations, and restricted and delayed growth wears on you, then yes, the deal is starting to head into a biggish area.
Seriously, re-runs are really what you get when the season’s over. No one is working anymore, and the networks hope more rehash won’t be too egregious and lame. After two or three times of the same stuff, we usually want something new, something better.
A whole other Reality is going on, and has been long before you, and will long after you. You may have been skimming on the surface of it, but you have to wake up and realize thoroughly that you are not the Star of the Show, and more importantly, it’s not your Show.
‘Ever seen the movie the Matrix? It’s like that, but with fewer people wearing sunglasses. …. oh never mind, The Matrix explanation is WAY too long and slippery. You’ll think you’re Neo, and we’ll be back where I started.
There’s a bit more to come:
In a few days, Part II of this reflection will get down deeper. Soon, I’ll also offer mental, spiritual, and emotional (maybe some concrete bits) ways many people have truly shifted their view to a more healthy one. We’re just getting the engine started on this vehicle to a new perspective. Let’s stick together–Meet back here soon.
Always feel free to leave your thoughts, experiences, or comments here. (Just after the tags below this post, it’ll say Leave a Comment. Not to be too obvious, and insult you, but….You click that.)
Or answer some questions:
Any guesses who the Star of the Show is?
What do you think Reality looks like with this different worldview/perspective?
And how would it be lived out? (examples, generalities, etc.)
Grief is the (normal) human emotional response to loss. It is a common part of human experience and may produce growth. We can lose people, places, objects, relationships, and even ideas. Some losses may not be actual, but anticipated, or a perceived loss. (25) Acute grief looks remarkably similar to a classic anxiety attack (same physical symptoms). It is similar to the feelings felt in fear. In grief one fears the loss of self through separation, and experiences separation anxiety. (28)
It is a function of attachment. It can be understood also as our emotions catching up with our reality. (38) The more we can love the more we can grieve. Our abnormal attachments show up (caused by an improper process of grieving) as permanent emotional detachment or heightened attachment. (30)
R. Scott Sullender, “Grief and Growth: Pastoral Resources for Emotional and Spiritual Growth” Paulist Press, 1985.
Have you lost or grieved anything lately?
Feel free to leave your thoughts or comments about grief or loss.
