The “Don’t Do This” Phenomenon

“Don’t kick elephants!”

If you are like most people you are thinking of elephants right now, and you weren’t 30 seconds ago.

You might even be wondering what would happen if you did kick an elephant.

Yes?

There is a certain psychology around how things get to the top of the mind.

We get the wrong results when we don’t understand it.

As a marketing consultant I’ve learned to adjust for it, but it’s still a challenge to remember.

We all can bear it in mind.

For instance, as parents we can learn that…

When we call direct attention to something that is not “top of the mind” we make it “top of the mind” unintentionally and can get the worst results imagined.

Not true if we allow the person to come to a conclusion through their own mental process.

One of the best ways to do that is by asking a (literally) thought-provoking question instead of giving an edict.

So for the child who kicks things…
Prior
to the situation we can ask…

What sorts of things happen if we kick someone hard?

It may help boost empathy too.

 

Here are other 5 lessons about “top of the mind”:

  1. Being blatant can be a barrier to being effective.
  2. You can mention what you don’t want, sometimes, to incite certain thoughts.
  3. The uniqueness of the statement sometimes carries more weight than the call-to-action.
  4. Hidden influences can steer us the wrong way. 
  5. Emotion can often trump directness.

 

You won’t learn more tactics if you don’t click here.

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elephants

Be an “elephant and never forget” the good stuff you learned here today.
Sign up for the next post (through Feedburner) in the right side bar and think about peanut butter.

MMM!

Decoding (Canine) Body Language with Funny Dog Drawings

dog-language-boogie-boston-terrier

Don’t you just love that great illustration by Lili Chin to help decode your dog’s attempts to communicate?

(This is a creative commons work. Be sure to check out Lili’s site! She deserves the recognition.)

Did any of them surprise you?

One of them really did for me.

All this time I thought my chocolate lab, Luna was giving me the cold shoulder (by sitting with her back to me)… she was actually giving me respect and trust.

(I feel like such a jerk about it now because sometimes I would mention it to her (disparagingly) and tell her that I felt sort of offended. Sweetheart that she is, she never seemed to hold it against me.)

 

Here’s a never-before-made-public excerpt from the book Luna helped inspire!

 

People who love and prefer cats, “cat people”, will tell you that cats are superior to dogs because they can take care of themselves. Cat people may flaunt the fact that felines don’t have some inferior gene that forces them to depend on others.
The sort of separation antics and hysterics don’t seem to happen to cats like they do with dogs. A cat may greet you, but it will hardly hang on your every word. Instead of nervously crying at the window like a dog does, a cat will get even. And it won’t get even because you left, but because you have overstepped your bounds.
It will pee on your pillow, for instance. It’ll turn on you in an instant with claws and teeth as you pet it. It will serve revenge ice cold.
“Dog people” prefer to be a dog’s reason for living rather than being a cat’s loyal subject. The biggest bruise to the human psyche comes from this situation: For the privilege of being a feline’s vassal it will tolerate you. 

Have you read the short book I wrote with Doug Jackson called “Dog in the Gap”?

There are 11 stories, tons of great photos, and a bunch of funny extras!

It is available on Kindle only. Installing the Kindle Reader App for your computer or smartphone is free. 

 

 

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“Survey says!” (7 second Survey results of 2014)

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

 

Did you take the survey? Thank you!

A few weeks ago I created this The 7 Second Survey to see who was reading this blog and what you like best.

 

Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 1.49.59 PMFINDING #1

I was going to post much more heavily on the thing that brings in the $ in my “day job” this year. I was hoping to get more work and inspire other creators and writers like me.

That’s right, Marketing Communications tips and tactics. But, it appears my reader base is mostly the original one from my first blogging efforts in 2007. Overwhelmingly so.

That’s probably good news, and honestly, it surprised me.

So, I will not discard the topics and theme that started it all!

Once per week, at the very least, I will hit on a spiritual topic. It may be anything from a Christian spiritual practice, to theology, to Christian living, or personal and spiritual transformation and improvement. If that’s how you found me, and that’s why you visit, I’m glad I know better now!

Also, I will be a bit more aware of including my brand of humor, which as you may know, I have determined as “damp”. (i.e. Almost dry humor)

(Please note that unlike many “Christian author” websites, I will very rarely step into the fray of controversy so commonly seen on religious blogs. I just don’t have the stomach for it anymore…for a while now, really. I find it 95% shallow and disheartening. If you like that stuff, you have plenty of options, though, and I hope you find what you like for that.)

 

Screen Shot 2014-02-21 at 1.50.09 PM

FINDING # 2

Another thing I learned is that I don’t have too many folks who come by to read more than once per week, even though I post 2-3 times per week. Now, I’m wondering if I’m writing too much. Maybe. Or maybe you should come back more often!

I’m guessing that there are two possible solutions, or three, to cope with that:

1. I can encourage you, my dear readers, to list the blogs you read through the super handy free reader service called Feedly which houses posts you haven’t read yet. It works like a catalogue of awesomeness. No more bookmarks and time-killing web surfing. You just paste in the websites you like, and boom, they’re all in one place. The best part, no more relying on your memory to visit a few times a week. What a relief! (Can you tell I use it?)

2. I can encourage you to get email delivery through free Feedburner service (top right sidebar)…for no more silly and random blog searches and relying on your memory.

3. Don’t sweat it.

(I’m doing all three.)

FINDING #3

The third question was open ended…”fill in the blank style”. About half of the respondents left something to answer the question:

“What would you improve at the website?”

The funniest one (or whatever) was…

“Use spellchecker.”

As if I don’t.

…Yes. This site is full of mistakes. Typos. Proofreading issues. Editing errors. Etc. I try to hunt them down. I find plenty too late and some not at all.

If you see a problem that bothers you or you’d like to help me out, please use the contact button and let me know. I do like the help. :)

Also, I’m flawed and weak human–awash in imperfections. I’m more creative than I am a good speller or editor of my own work. If I ever have the money, I may hire someone for that. But, I’m doing #3 on this. (The “Don’t sweat it” option.)

In truth, I use this site as a sandbox. I build stuff. I sculpt the messy sand of words. I don’t worry too much. I would be creating posts even if no one came to read them. I cannot help it. At all.

It’s like this:

Sometimes you’ll find a few lincoln logs from the cat of imperfection here in my sandbox, as it were,

 

but hopefully more often you’ll find that what you’re reading is still worth it despite the shortcomings.

Anyway–
Thank you for reading and journeying with me through these years. I appreciate it immensely.

More great things are brewing!

The next post is here. It’s about the day I turn 42. The photo will give you a chuckle!

xo

-Lisa

Mindset Followup: A [visual] framework for abundance

[scroll down for visual guide]

I used to think books with “daily affirmations” were goofy new-age baloney.

Why would reciting some sappy self-help mantra change anything?

I still don’t own a book of daily affirmations but I’ve learned a lot about transformation.

Plus, the recent empirical scientific data shows what many of us who’ve studied spiritual formation already knew from a long record of wisdom writings and human history:

“As a man thinks so he is.”

3D brain scans verify that our thoughts, habits, and patterns (physically) change our brains, down to the cellular level and even into our DNA!

Prayer works like focus. Meditation works like concentration. And yes, affirmations can truly transform attitudes.

All 6 can, and do, change us for the better. It comes down to effort.

With practice, bad habits get harder to break (not so great), but new thoughts and actions build new cortical pathways (hope for betterment!).

I have some firm beliefs that I’m bent on making a potent reality:

1. My perspective can determine my actions.

2. My attitude can improve my life.

3. Reminding myself of the truth about abundance can transform me.

4. Connecting to a positive version of reality can revitalize me.

5. Hope is my choice.

 

I decided to create a handy guide to make each day better.

 

If you ever struggle with being positive and hopeful, I hope this makes it easier.

It’s really helped me to see the path visually.

I’m hoping to improve how I determine and live out my outlook and actions each day. How about we do it together?

Sure, we’ll fail sometimes, but maybe some guidance will steer us right again, soon.

Skeptical? Give it a chance.

Seriously. Try it for a few days:

 

1. Use this visual guide to help you.

2. Remind yourself throughout the day about your choice of a scarcity or an abundance mindset.

3. At the end of each day, review and see if you lost track of your perspective–then recommit to keep at it.

3. Note your mood and attitude throughout the day to gauge your progress.

4. Share your progress and this guide with others, if you’ve been helped.

I made it for you to ebed at your website, or share on Facebook or pinterest.

Want to pass it along? I’d love that.

 betterdayguide

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