The boon of a “spiritual autobiography”

The challenge is to grow, right? For leaders and creators this can be a genuine existential issue.

That’s because once you “get stuck” your work suffers. When that happens, you suffer.

Plus, the double whammy. Lots of us bolt when we hit the first BIG obstacle on our journey of personal growth….pain. (obviously because it hurts, duh, right?)

Can you be brave enough to look inside your heart/mind and see things you don’t want to, or feel long-buried pain? Can I?

That’s the challenge that this next exercise can dredge up.

You may not think you have the time for it. But, since your baggage goes with you, like it or not, there comes a time to choose life and growth. Now is that time. I’m doing this right along with you.

The pain of being stuck and stymied will at some point outweigh the pains inherent in growth. (Pay now or pay more later.) But, with that growth is new-found relief and a greater understanding of one’s self. A bona fide Victory. And it also means you have more to give in your work and in your relationships. You will have a greater ability to triumph in adversity and accept love more fully. And you will even become less reactionary to perceived or actual threats (This is also commonly referred to as maturity, but who’s counting, right?) This is all a boon, my friends. Just you wait and see!

An angry person is a hurt person and unhealed person. Take a look around, if that doesn’t describe you, it describes someone nearby.
(I try to remember this information when I read so much rubbish on the interwebs….or when I find myself far too frustrated–that is to say, in need of healing and growth.)

So, come with me in the next few days, and weeks, and let’s do this together.

Oh, please, do the 90 second exercise in the previous post, and set it aside, if you haven’t done it yet. If you have, this is the time to pull it out and slowly read over your answers for a bit. Mull them, note your insights. Then, onward!

Start thinking about creating this very useful tool you will fashion: Your Spiritual Autobiography.

Guidelines for Writing Your Spiritual Autobiography
Your story is your own; no one else can tell it. Below are some more ideas/exercises to help you consider your spiritual life, and how you may wish to write about it. It’s not a story of your life, or a timeline of people, places, and events, but rather a crafted personal account of what and who have made you who you are now.

To start creating your “Spiritual Map”….Identify and list the places in which important things have happened to you.

Spiritual Encounters with Others

Who are the three or four people who have had the greatest impact on your life? Why?

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Experiences which Shaped You

What are two or three important experiences in your life? Why are they important to you? As you look back, do you see traces of God’s presence with you at those times?
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Impactful Communities
Which communities, religious or not, have had a lasting influence on your development?

Significant Choices

Think of the important decisions in your life. Discuss what they meant to you, how they were made, and the results.

Highlights and Low Points
List a few of the happiest and saddest experiences of your life.

Happiest
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Saddest
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A Master Story

Each of us has a “master story,” a theme that summarizes our life endeavor so far. See if you can recognize your master story. What might be a theme for your life thus far? If your life were a book, what might the title be? How about the title of the chapters you have lived so far, and are living right now?

Don’t worry about what this means for the future, just yet. Stay with your thoughts about your life up until now.

Did anything surface that surprised you?

Is there anything you need to grieve about?

In a week or two, we’ll revisit this. Thanks for taking this on! I’m lucky to have you along for this wild ride.

Exploring Misandry in the church Part II

"ugh...typical guy! Idiot."

misandry |misˈandrē|
noun
the hatred of men by women
ORIGIN 1940s: from Greek miso- ‘hating’ + anēr, andr- ‘man,’ on the pattern of misogyny.

As promised, I’m covering the female side of misogyny, which is misandry.
I call this type of article a “BOOM post”. You have been warned.

I would be remiss to not admit that sectors of feminism are strongholds of misandry. Feminism, though, as many women think of it, is far more general. It has to do with equitable treatment toward women, in business, home life, society in general, and it hinges on the ability, explicitly or implicitly, to have choice (of many kinds) as a basic unalienable right. A wiser person, female or male, will understand, however, that freedom of choice must be balanced with one’s community, not rooted or executed from a selfish starting point.

It seems to me that troubles for either gender will stem from control issues. For men, it may be that they feel somehow impotent in their life, interactions, career path, health, etc. Perhaps the feeling or appearance of weakness is the pivot point.

For women, it may be that they want to be regarded well, and cherished (and I don’t mean in simply an emotional, or fuzzy way. This is more of a cherished at an essential level of being for (female) human flourishing). They want to not feel objectified (which, is disregard), or to relegated to a small box, i.e. a narrow role, a low ceiling limiting personal or career pursuits, an intellectual prejudice.

I find it interesting that body image plays a powerful role for both men and women. Ill-health, lack of fitness, the effects of aging, being fashionable, and certainly other issues influence personal issues of self-worth, emotionally and bodily. They also influence how each gender reacts to the other. Those things hated, or feared in one’s self will be trigger points and irritations all too glaringly visible in the other gender. Spite develops.

I will cover some ways misandry happens among women. Please note I use the word among purposefully, because there seems to be an execution of misandry in a social capacity more than in any other way. For men, they may both take their misogyny on as a personal war, and they may find strength in numbers, but women may tend towards a “team strategy”.

For women, physical aggression with misandry is not normative. Rather, it is mental, social, and tactical. Bullying of other female by female happens this way as well. The tendency may to manipulate, rather than misogynistic tendency to (in some respect) conquer or master (perhaps with resources, people, money, intellectual pursuits, empire, and including areas of competencies and skills). (I’m speaking quite generally, please bear with me.) Women seem more socially powerful, while men seem more dominant. Perhaps a good analogy is to say influential in contrast to jurisdictional.

For some general information, I will note 6 areas ripe for, or given to misandry. (Please note that these same areas are ones of great good, effectuality, and ministry if they are not perverted by selfishness and sin. Yes, the same goes for males.) Steps should be taken to purify and strength these venues through the Holy Spirit, and his Fruit, not disable or disband them.)

1. Gossip as bonding.
2. “Tribal Culture” (if you will) of malcontent.
3. A “sick clique” (more on this is a later post) It has to do with venting, fault finding, griping. For men, the counterpart might be verbal attacks or passive aggression. But, this also can and does happen with females.
4. Platforming (A leader or leaders pumping up/motivating a like-minded group)
5. Subversion of Systems (rather than negotiation)
6. Rebellion (overt or covert/and sometimes unintentionally) to authority, powerful groups, institutions, concepts, norms in question.

Often man-hating patterns are established in the context of a social group norm. There may be a retaliation tenor, as well. A pecking order type of culture may subtly and socially pressure its affiliates to employ a particular attitude. Acceptance in the group will be linked to the propagation and use of this structure, and its attitudes. Bear in mind, unlike many times with males, this all happens as sub-context, and is almost always implied, not vocalized.

(There are others areas. I welcome your additions, or specific ideas or comments on them.)

To expose the flaws and missteps among women is to set myself up as an enemy of women, and undermine some of the great and vital gains women have made societally to achieve appropriate equality. Quite a few people, whether they will admit it, or not, believe a certain amount of misandry seems justifiable because of humanity’s long history of abuse and antipathy toward the female gender. In recent, postmodern times, the female voice (or story), as well as many other historically-marginalized groups, has been given new validity and attention.

It is not my intent, of course to sabotage any positive and rightful gains for females. I do believe these rectifications have been sorely overdue, and really have not yet been accomplished. And what a sad commentary on the Christian assimilation of the ministry of Christ, and the human expression of the redemptive nature of the gospel.

To women, I say, we can be secure and mature enough to take on and strength whatever weaknesses we may have that are causing injury of harm to the body of Christ. We can work toward a better way, healing, and unity. As for you males, please read this all compassionately, and let it help you understand women’s weaknesses and strengths better. There is responsibility that comes with know more, so I trust you to use this new knowledge for good not evil.

I mention all of this, not to divide any of us from each other, or to give us weapons to beat each other with, but rather to call out areas of potential growth. Then, we can call them into question ourselves (men and women), confess before God, humble ourselves to each other in love and service, and work toward unity, reconciliation, and enacting God’s glorious Kingdom Come. God transcends gender, and our petty hang ups and weaknesses. It is in God’s strength and grace that we may be fashioned as new creatures that reflect God’s good character and nature.

I would have loved to make this whole article somehow more jocose (or humorous at all), because that’s usually how I roll, but I couldn’t switch gears, adapt and integrate that writing style on this one. Don’t expect such seriousness in any following installments on this, or any topic. (There’s only so much of this trajectory I can take, before I have to insert more cheer.) :)

So-weigh in. I’m listening.

Spiritual Formation: The Scenic Route 66

 

I’ve decided to learn a lot more about the road termed “The Mother Road”…Route 66.

Along the way, I’ll post interesting sights from my findings, and I’ll also parallel this excursion to the one we take in our heart, toward God.

You see, no one needs to take Route 66. Faster, smoother, and bigger interstate highways make this route outmoded. No, folks get their kicks on Route 66 for the journey itself…to experience the epic route that is America’s most famous and alluring roadway westward.

Route 66, Chicago, IL

The picturesque course was established in 1926, and originally ran from Chicago, Illinois, through Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, before ending at Los Angeles. It covered a total of 2,448 miles (3,940 km).

During the Dust Bowl days, in the early 1930s, people packed up and took this road to make a better life for themselves. In the 1950s, a trip on route 66 was a common family vacation, filled with plenty of sights, shops, roadside attractions, eating establishments, camping grounds, gas stations, and lodging choices. A virtual monument to Americana and campy kitsch. Now the trail ends in Santa Monica, CA, and parts of the old route have been long abandon or fallen into disrepair.

Still the mystique and history of the open road west continues to excite travelers to venture on various portions of the legendary Route 66.

Starting April 3, 2011, I will be teaching a class fashioned after this type of adventure, at Bethesda EC Church, called: Route 66: Adventures in Spiritual Formation. Part I will include getting familiar with the route and its ways: the epic trail God has in store for each of us. Part II will involve the experience of traveling it for ourselves. Two 6-week bursts. I hope you can come.

Various postings here will serve as a companion to the weekly excursions we will take…like postcards and journal entries from highlights and stops on the road.

So, Hop in. During April, May, and June, get hip to this timely tip, and we’ll find some kicks on route 6-6.

Now a question for you: What’s the best road trip you’ve ever taken?

 

 

 

Route 66, gas station, 1929