Tag: Humor

End of the World Questions…

Congratulations are in order for NEW ZEALAND, where it is now Sunday. You have survived the apocalypse! Well Done.

The rapture of clothed people

Sometime today, says Harold Camping–a serial End-of-the-World date setter-a massive earthquake will destroy the world. Oh, and the rapture of the saved will happen.

Instead of shredding Camping (this time), I’ll just put this out there:

If you KNEW the world would be ending tonight, would you make amends with anyone? Would you try something you’ve never tried? Would you behave like a better person? Would you give your natural desires free reign?

Most of us are not faced with these sorts of all-or-nothing life decisions. I’m reminded of the stories that came to light after the Titanic disaster. Some became unlikely heros, some reprobates. Some saved lives, and others sacrificed them for their own survival. Some died singing or playing hymns. Some died in bitterness. Some died more peacefully, accepting their fate, and trusting in God’s grace. Stress has a refining way of testing our character.

Consider your “End of the World” desires. Question them. What do they reveal about you? And how can we use this threat of apocalypse to improve ourselves, or be nobler…no matter what happens.

If we’re all here tomorrow… (ugh…whatever) I hope you weigh in with some of the strange or interesting comments you noticed relating to Camping’s dire prediction.

Also: I was amused by this actual (and strangely humorous) interview with Gunther von Harringa, Sr., President of Bible Ministries International conducted by the folks at “The American Jesus” website.

Checkmark Envy: How the ‘M’ word tells the truth about vanity

I’m warning you, right from the start. I’m going to use a word I haven’t used before when blogging, and maybe only 12 times otherwise. It’s one of those words that could make me lose all my readers, maybe even you. But, I’m going to do it, because I have to tell the truth.

I have “checkmark envy”. When I see the Verified Twitter Account, the checkmark reversed out of cyan, I want one, too. Badly. It’s been going on for about three months. It has everything to do with feelings of self-worth. Important people have Verified Accounts. People that matter. Wanting it has everything to do with sensing my value, and worst of all vanity.

So, I realized something, Vanity is spiritual masturbation.

Now that I said “the M word”, I want to unpack what I just said, so we don’t miss the forrest for the trees.

Some people think masturbation can make you blind. Do people still think this? This obviously reflects poorly on blind people. It’s made me question Stevie Wonder, for instance. Well, not really. (After I wrote this, I found out it’s Stevie’s birthday today…what a “God thing”, huh? I mean, sorry Stevie for that extra weird bit of undue attention on your special day.)

Some people think it’s perverted. Some think it’s necessary. Some think it’s just plain fun. Some say, when in doubt, do it. Like Nike, right? Never mind.

Here’s what it really is. It’s a reduction and diminution of a real and powerful thing. The goodness of sexual intimacy is given a shabby surrogate. It’s not more or better, it’s less. It’s a shortcut that cheats you–producing fulfillment temporarily, but soon leaving you feeling more isolated or lonely; even trapped, or increasingly compulsive.

Vanity is the same way, but more thoroughly. It holds hands and makes out with shame. It’s focused on sensing worthiness in a weird, circular, and disappointing quest.

I learned a lot about these sort of pitfalls of shame (a.k.a. “hame”. Yeah, refer to Brown video) yesterday, from Dr Brené Brown in this amazing (20 min) video about so-called “shame studies”. Watching it could change your life.

It’s given me the courage to admit this kind of spiritual masturbation addiction I avoid revealing.

I want to be somebody. God’s answer (healing) for this is to be thoroughly aware of being known and loved ever still in him. It’ll take my whole life to fully get there. This is but one of my forward steps.

Do you feel the need to be “verified”?

Mother’s Day Wkd madcap recap, 10 things I learned

Friday and Saturday I took off to the Poconos with my daughter for a mother/daughter retreat. The whole getaway sneaked up on me, and I realized about an hour before we had to leave that we were due to attend this overnight cabin camping getaway.

Ten things I learned from my getaway:

1. When a female retreat speaker likes to take off her shoes (and has toes that look like man fingers) I have trouble concentrating.

2. Camp cabins have a wet sock meets wet canine smell. This is normal.

3. A retreat menu consists of 300% of one’s daily requirement of carbohydrates. (MMM and uh-oh.)

4. A camping getaway is not complete unless several bugs are captured and treated like members of the family, before they die in captivity.

5. Turkeys wake up at 4 a.m….vocalizing.

6. Even if a mom/daughter hike includes spotting deer up close, friendly fowl, and indescribable beauty, wet pants, shoes, and socks will incur massive amounts of overshadowing whining.

7. Staying up past 11 p.m. for its own sake makes an eight year old immeasurably ecstatic and then immeasurably exhausted 12 hours later. Usually there is crying involved.

8. Apparently, when camping, there’s no such thing as “too much candy”.

9. Unspoken camp rule: carbonated beverages are a right, not a privilege.

10. Mysterious forces beyond one’s control cause one’s washcloths and towels to dry in no less than four days.

What are some things you’ve learned from camping?


photos of our time away.

 

MAGIC Mellon!

Look what I found when I cut open this cantaloupe (or for you people in Iowa, think: “MUSK Mellon” ) .

So, maybe Voldemort practiced on fruit before he got to Harry Potter?

I know what you’re thinking, “Magic!”

Lightening bolt scar on Harry Potter's mellon.

Upon closer inspection I saw the cause of this odd lightening bolt phenomenon. A seed. A seed braking free!

My knife cut the seed in half to best reveal its strange path “toward the edge”. I’ve never seen anything like it, have you? I nearly starting dialing J. K. Rowling for an explanation.

Sometimes leaving the safety of the group, to make a break for it is downright magical. It’s extraordinary. Have you ever had to make a “magical moment” happen?

YOUR mission: Tell me something “magical” you’ve seen lately! I’ll give you until the end of the day!

 

Calling all Bloggers!

Ta DAA!

I really enjoy some blogs out there. I’ll limit my recently read, recommendation  list to 10, but I assure you, many more could make the list. In no particular order:

1. Stuff Christians Like.

2. Jesus Needs New PR

3. Wineskin in the Smoke

4. John Lee Saddington

5. Brett McCracken

6. Captain’s Blog

7. Ed Cyzewski

8. Thom Turner

9. http://www.passengerblog.net

10. Christopher Cocca

Who did I miss?

Gosh…I just realized I haven’t included any women bloggers. That’s seems so odd to me. It’s true that over 75% of my readership is male. I’m kind of like “one of the guys”… but I have a working uterus.

If you are a blogger, promote your blog today. About 1,500 people read this per week. So, it’s some good exposure. Explain what you write about a bit, and include a link.

What are your favorite blogs to read? Tell us.

Thanks for sharing!