Tag: Jesus

12 Fruit of the Spirit that never made the cut

Tom Cruise drawn in Photoshop
Image by Roberto Rizzato ►pix jockey◄ Facebook resident via Flickr (aka "Mr. Intensity")

WARNING: This post is for humor purposes. If you take it seriously, and get offended, it’s your own fault. Go away today if you don’t like funny things once in a while.

Fruit of the Spirit that didn’t make the cut:

High Metabolism: (or Calorie Burn-Ableness) This is one of those qualities of which people can be envious. Yet, the ability to eat a whole pizza, or a half a dozen Krispy Kremes, and not pay for it according to the bathroom scale does not cut it as a Fruit of the Spirit.

Wrapping. (Giftedness) Because such things given by God are called “gifts” of the Spirit, some have connected this to the qualities associated with wrapping presents, for holidays, birthdays, and such. Cute paper, ribbon, and creative and crafty items to give items away are a way to show off talents, but let’s not get carried away. I’m glad I could clear this up.

Drinking your Coffee black. (Beverage purity) If you think the potent and bitter taste of coffee without creamer has something to do your spiritual gifting, I need to break it to you. The answer is “No”. And it doesn’t mean you love coffee more than other people either. (another related tip: Keep a toothbrush handy.)

Fanciness. Sure, good style is laudable. Though fruit-like, it doesn’t make the cut, and it’s not a gift of the Spirit to be fancy, per se. It can also be incredibly distracting.

Holding your breath. (Lung capacity blessed/breath-worthy) Long sought as a way to intimidate cream puff parents, and impress pool-goers, holding one’s breath for quite a while is a skill mastered with practice and techniques. I’m surprised you would even bring this one up.

Balance. One’s ability to walk with agility on a 2 x 4 does not appear to directly connected to the Holy Ghost. On this one, though, I could be persuaded with the proper argument “for”. Have at it.

Bluffing. (or in fruit language, bluff-tastic-ness) I think this term -bluffing) is used in games, meaning innocent falsehood to get ahead in a harmless game. (And, yes; In the gun-toting old wild west, this wasn’t always the case.. Obviously.) Good bluffers are admired in poker, and loathed in politics and golf. Either way, I’ve decided that, though it’s a close call, it’s not quite fruit-worthy for my purposes here. HOWEVER, perhaps you can weigh in on this story about when Jesus (perhaps) pretended to walk past the boat on the stormy lake of Galilee, shortly before Peter asked to walk on water to meet him. Was it bluffing? TEll me what you think.  (You can read John’s text here John 6:16-22)

Staring. (or stare-Able) Do you win a lot of staring contests and think God has something to do with it? Well, then you’re fooling yourself. The ability to stare well, just means you aren’t too bothered as your eyes get dry. This sensation drives many other people crazy, as a creepy itchy feeling makes it unbearable to not flip out and blink like mad. Plenty of people connect patience with this, but that’s total bologna.

Intensity. Closely related to the above (Staring) in terms of endurance, this quality is perfectly exemplified in Tom Cruise‘s acting performances, much to my chagrin. It’s a poor substitute for Christian maturity, and would no doubt  displease the powerful Xenu, at least in the long run. Plus, it’s so, gimmicky sometimes, ya know? MAYBE YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH-YA KNOW?

Jumping rope like an accomplished boxer. (Jumpishness) Yes, this one looks a bit superhuman sometimes, but it’s only the branch of a deeper issue. Basically, these people don’t care how sweaty they get, and also enjoy a repetitive sound. If you can do it, good for you, but I can’t work my way into respecting you for it, in a spiritual sense. Plus, the exegesis here is spotty at best. I repeat: At. Best.

Pen Tricks. (dexterity) Like Fanciness, this near-Fruit can be positive and appealing, but once you’ve spent hours learning them, to show off in Sunday School class, as you pretend to be thinking about the topic at hand, don’t think it makes you a better Christian. It could just mean you’re obnoxious and have way too much time on your hands. Your über tricky hands.

Swimming. (buoyancy) Walking on water, yes, of course. Obviously that’s totally backed up by Scripture as a spiritual gift, with some Fruit of buoyancy needed (Okay, yes. I’m still researching the buoyancy Fruit or near-Fruit). But, listen to me. Swimming is something even a dolphin can do. Nothing supernatural there…once you throw off the terrifying thought of drowning.

Fruity stuff from Paul Cheng. (The bananas look like horns because...?)

 

 

Please Note: Some of items here (nearly Fruit) that didn’t make the cut, are helpful to us in a general sense. Some may even coincide with certain biblical spiritual fruit. In themselves, however, they have here been identified as not really what Paul (the writer of Galatians, not the fruity artist above) was talking about.

Galatians 5:22-26But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

This is a formula I made up (after rigorous hours of study). When used it will take you far…like a camel in heat:

{GIFTS – FRUIT = corruption }

Bear in mind, this refers to the things of God, not Gift Baskets.

SO, my sweet readers,

What other things could make this list of Spiritual Fruit that couldn’t or didn’t make the cut? Share your suggestions. One lucky winner will get a humorous fruit of the Spirit t-shirt.

Can a Person Absolve your Sins? Drum roll please…

A penitent confessing his sins in the former L...
Image via Wikipedia (confessing to another)

About 500 years ago there was this spat. At the time, having your sins forgiven was a sort of pay as you go thing. It was a bit like a toll road.

The toll booth worker was the Priest. If you bought “indulgences” the Priest could better settle up your debt with God.

Handy little business model, especially when folks hope to avoid damnation, right?

This became rather upsetting. So these Reformer types started protesting. It was not so much to split from the Church, but to transform it–at first.

Of course, men can get pretty riled up about their new fantastic ideas (ever seen that?), and before anyone realized it, a huge split…others might say a heresy or rebellion… was cemented into place in history–forever changing the landscape of Christianity.

Spiritually speaking, some good was gained (and Catholics adjusted to these grievances by the 1960s with Vatican II), but as more and more people are beginning to realizing now, some very good and important things were lost because of going this route.

So, what is the real purpose of a priest, or priest-like figure? Is it necessary? Can absolution of sin come from a man in a white collar? What about a teenager in a crew neck? Or a lady with a scarf?

Drum roll, please…..

Oh!  Wait! Before, you start gathering firewood and a sturdy stake for my conflagration, please hear me out the entire way. (Then have at it; I’d like to hear from you.)

The I Timothy 2:5 “one mediator” verse is often used to underscore that Christ alone can forgive sins and be our mediator to God. It’s true. This was the mission of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

But Protestants have, by the over-reactive trailblazing of the Reformers, missed quite a bit of the spiritual benefits of what Jesus’ brother James talks about:

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

What is James saying…that confession and other believers’ prayers are powerful and effective against sin? Yes.

GASP.
Okay, not a total gasp. But how does this play out? You may wonder…

This confessing to each other is not the same as be able to actually take Jesus’ place (obviously). James shows us that confession to each other works. It does something important. God wants it to be done this way.

It absolves us (because God absolves us). So, it is true that we personally experience the relief of our guilt being removed. We experience, in real terms, the agency of God’s forgiveness of our guilt. Someone is there beside us, standing in the gap for us, so we can be reconciled more thoroughly, more completely than we can experience it otherwise. It is God’s work; and we are agents of his ministry.

These confessors  to whom we confess become a flesh and blood representation of God’s love that promotes gracious forgiveness and offers wholeness. It offers us freedom from guilt (felt guilt, and feeling or thinking as if Christ‘s work is not complete). It puts flesh on our spiritual justification.

It seems we can’t handle our sin on our own too well, at all.

We are sinful, and it’s not a private matter.

Just confessing to God, and keeping our mistakes and sin to ourselves, is not the recommendation and requirement of Christ’s disciples.

The Community of God (i.e. the Church; our brothers and sisters in the Lord) plays a vital role in our spiritual growth and growth in grace. Confession ushers in that felt healing of the sin and guilt which weigh us down, and disables us.

Our sin is a rejection of community (aka The Bride of Christ) and an act of selfishness.

Our sin is a destructive thing. Socially and spiritually destructive.

Confession and absolution, (the kind you might say/declare out loud to another person) restore us at a core level. To ourselves, to God, and to community (aka The Bride of Christ).

In this way, we act not as God, but on God’s behalf. We minister.

It is simply true that he forgives us. We concur and offer social restoration, and remind the confessing one of God’s gracious work and love for us.

We minister to each other, on equal footing, and we may offer God’s grace to a brother or sister who cannot yet properly apprehend it. We can accept their confession and offer forgiveness, so we speak the Truth of God’s Kingdom into their life. We help set the captives free. (Not because God can’t do it without us, but because he wishes to use us this way.)

YES. We may say, “You have confessed, and you are forgiven. God absolves you. I, too, forgive you. Go in peace, and rest in his love.”

Please offer this to others. Ask for it on your behalf, too.

Will you comment on this topic, please? Your input is vital on this one. Thank you.

Thursday's 5 Minute Retreat (4 of 5)

Lay down your stones

Ed Cyzewski invited me to carrying on with his 5 minute Retreat series this week. Today is day 4 of 5. I hope you find this brief exercise a way to create a bit of time and space in your day to refocus and reenergize. May God bless you.

This retreat would be best to do if you have a stone or brick handy. If it’s not easy to search for one outside, find something else, that feels weighty in your hand, like a paper weight, book, full water bottle, etc. Yes, I realize that sounds weird. Indulge me for a few minutes, k?

Before we start, please take a few steps to
prepare yourself to take a short rejuvenating break to refreshen your day and your spirit. Together we will gain new perspective. So, please eliminate potential distractions nearby. (Silence your phone, computer, shut your door, etc.)

Ready?
Here we go!

Hold your stone or object in your hand.

Close your eyes and take a few deep, slow breaths. (Be aware of where you are. “Be where you are.” That is, push the chatter of your mind aside, purposefully, for this short and set amount of time.)

Now as you gain awareness of yourself in the spot where you are, be very aware of the weight of the object in your hand. Concentrate on that sensation for a bit. With your eyes closed, notice its bulk, size, “weightiness”, and stay with that for about 60 seconds. (That will feel like a LONG time. But, please do hang in there, friends!)

Now think of the things weighing you down in your day this week. Everybody has something. Do you have conflict in a relationship, too much to do, deadlines, struggles, car trouble, illness, loneliness, frustration? What is bothering you RIGHT NOW?

Think about how those things in your life really do feel like a weight resting on top of you. They are pushing you down. They feel heavy.

Now, feel the weight of the stone or object in your hand, and make the conscious association, of what weights you down with this weighted symbol of it that you are holding.

Feel their weight, and recognize that you want to be free of it. You want new strength and relief. You want to claim that release.

Talk to God briefly about your particular struggle/s, all while clutching your stone or object.

If you can say this next bit out loud, I recommend it. If that will be too awkward because of your surroundings, try to repeat this a few times in your mind:

God, I am laying my weight down. Take it from me. I willingly lay it down for you to pick up.

(Repeating this for your ownership of this act will help you a lot.)

Now set down your weight. Release it. Lay it down, with purpose. (If you are outside, you may want to throw it down, or put it in a trash can. Or, maybe that’s just me. OH! And watch out for glass. It can sneak up on you, just as you let your stone fly.)

NOW–Feel the weight lift. It’s GONE.

Breathe deeply.

Now walk away.

And thank God.

Thanks for coming along today, and daring to experience life a bit differently. I hope this is helpful to you in a special way. I’d love to hear about your experience, if you’d like to share it here.

Everlasting Torture in Hell: McKnight and Piper

Another intriguing post by Scot McKnight! (It’s worth a look)

He notes the issues contained in this book: A review of John Piper, Jesus: The Only Way to God: Must You Hear the Gospel to be Saved? (123 pages, $5.99), by Terrance L. Tiessen.

It brings out important topics like- How do the various views of Hell effect Evangelism and sharing the gospel?


Man Cave: Of sanctuaries and retreats

(A Room Decoration and Demarcation)

It’s been said that the adult male human regularly needs some “down time” after a work day (a.k.a. Cave Time) to rejuvenate, find refreshment, recharge, gain clarity, and so on.

BUT-I doubt–a LOT–that “cave time” is truly a need reserved for the masculine of the species.

As many men will attest, females also enjoy and feel the need to retreat, and find refreshment. For some women it looks like taking a walk alone, reading a book while soaking in a bubble bath, or even not being alone–such as, sharing emotions with a trusted friend or ally.

Whatever this time looks like, it is a demarcated boundary of sanctuary, and vitally important to good mental health, and a balanced life–notwithstanding the spiritual benefits.

My husband doesn’t feel he needs a “den” or a man gym set up in the basement to get his man cave time in. He most enjoys a vigorous bike ride through the beautiful countryside on his road bike. I most like a variety of sanctuaries and refreshing conduits–both with others and without.

It’s not a weakness or a shame to realize you need space, and find your own space routinely (be it physical space, quite down time, mental respite, or beneficial time of social interaction). It is part of how we [all] live out our humanity fully, and how we are better able to best rejoin to loved ones, and others in our work or social lives in the most healthy way. If you don’t alreadly, encourage your loved ones to carve out demarcated time for this human need, as well as maintain your own. Seriously. Put in on the calendar or in your planner. It’s really that important. Be systematic so you stick with it, and keep your appointments with yourself. You will be surprised how much everyone will benefit.

Do you get the “cave time” you feel you need?

What does cave time look, or sound like for you?

Any body know Scripture that encourages ‘cave time’?

I look forward to your responses. Thanks.