Moms, Don’t Wait for the Book Deal

In a conversation I had recently with some writing friends (friends that regularly write…and all of them mothers), I realized that they all were hoping to be discovered through blogging to land the book deal they wanted. It happened to a few people and they really hoped it would happen to them. They were really trying to make it work. It was frustrating for them. Some felt jealous, some bitter, some resolved to prove they could do it.

It’s really an out-of-date idea this blog to get a book deal thing. Maybe 7-10 years out-of-date, or more…though once in a while it works.

It’s like playing Powerball. It seems like you could win big, but you never do. It’s someone else.

There is a whole industry propping up this idea of landing a book deal too. Billions and billions of dollars are wrapped up in it. There are conferences, agents, tons of ebooks, paper books, articles, and whole websites to help you do blogging and writing better and to help you get published or build your platform that will interest and convince publishers. But the actual premise of all this is like the cassette tape. It worked once, and was considered normal, but now there are better options for your talents. Ones that feel more deeply meaningful too.

Discarded Transformers Cassette Tape At The Side Of The Road, Clarach Valley, 23-07-06

David Jones via Compfight

Over the next few months, I’m going to be going in depth about how you can actually make money writing.

It’s not by freelancing,

blogging and guest blogging,

selling website ads,

getting a book deal,

or self-publishing.

What could it possibly be then?

More on that soon!

It’s also about a entire shift in what success means.
The truth about the dream? The “prize at the bottom of the box” of all that hard work isn’t the big book deal. Many with book deals will tell you the true tales of woe dealing with editors and publishers expectations, exhausting obligations, and accountants who repeatedly want you to prove you are a legit option. Then, in the end, you are left to market the whole thing yourself anyway. This doesn’t apply if you’re famous or infamous though. (Plenty of people try to drum up controversy to get noticed and it works for a few people, but it’s not a winning idea and can turn you into a bit of a monster, it seems.)

Most authors don’t sell more than 1,000 books. Most. (My agent told me that.) When then do sell any, they get about a $1 or less per copy in royalties. Some dream!

That is a terrible return on all the hard work and the time invested. The other options are better ones. The prize you thought you wanted? It doesn’t exist. Not really. That’s the secret they won’t tell you. They can’t tell you that! The industry still needs you to believe that the prize is good enough and still available. The sooner you make a new path for yourself, the better off you are.

But, that doesn’t mean your dream of success should be over and your talents unused. Not at all.

It just takes adaptation and some cleverness. I’ve been consulting folks on how to make the shift, like I did. I’m going to open up the process for you too.

A few years ago, I saw the change was just ahead. Wicked. crazy. change. I did something no one would even think of doing. I had an ace in the hole, but I let my literary agent go. I don’t like to say “fired” because he did nothing to deserve it. I told him I needed to change direction and we amiably parted ways, and we mutually ended  our contract.

He’s a good agent with an incredible track record getting deals and has represented some best-selling books. He turns down most who approach him. He was really really surprised, obviously. I went on instinct. I decided to not stick with convention and the known outcomes in the “formula” to be a successful author. The machine of publishing is deteriorating leviathan. The better fit for me is picking my own path and utilizing technology. I’ll be sharing how in the next weeks and months.

I decided I wasn’t going to wait to get picked. I didn’t like the game. I decided to not be a part of a failing system that was starting to heavily rely on celebrities (all with ghostwriters btw) or gimmicks to keep their publishing houses running. I wanted OUT.

The move seemed asinine, at least on paper. (At that time three of my writing friends had tried to get this agent’s interest and got shot down, and I was letting him go? HUH? Since then loads of others have been rejected too. I had him for  the taking but I said “no thank you”.) Yet, it opened me up creatively to do my best work and find my own prize, not the phantom book deal carrot held out just out of reach by a whole industry propping up the slick myth.

It really was the day I went Pro. I’ll let you in on a few secrets I learned in the next few weeks and help you find a way to come into your own creatively as you let go of the false or shoddy promise of landing a “great book deal” or signing with great agent and making it big. That is so 90s.

Don’t get me wrong, authors sometimes get signed and blogging still helps get deals…rarely. But in the end of the whole process most authors are deeply unsatisfied or underwhelmed. Not just because they reap so little, but because they have so little control in the process, the machine of it. The good news is the gatekeepers don’t hold on the power as they once did, and technology has created new doors.

The book deal that seemed so amazing? I can buy her book for $2.99 at Ollie’s Bargain Outlet just 3-6 months later. (I do it all the time.) The system is busted, but the word isn’t getting out.

Stayed tuned for more. The gloves are coming off.

Results are in: Wife Beating Endorsed!

I’m glad I live in 2013 in the U.S. It’s not a perfect time with no problems, of course. I get that.

Most of the time it seems people say they “remember the good old days,” you know, when things were simpler and better.

Sometimes I get nostalgic too.

This idea that things were better in the past is, of course, a myth generally speaking. Every era has its benefits and its downsides.

This clipping is my favorite recent example. (Buzz Feed featured it.)

It’s a newspaper clip which appears to be printed in The Mirror of New York. They ask ordinary men if it’s a good idea to “spank their wives.” (Meaning hit them, of course.) Their eyewear fashions point to a time in the 1950s or early 1960s, which might be why I remember driving in the car with my grandpa as he hauled off and cracked my grandma in the head or arm when he got upset with her. (When he was lost or frustrated, and she should have told him where to turn?) He was just a man of his times and she needed it, from his perspective.

It makes the women’s rights movement a little more palatable now, right?

Manhood is seen differently now, in this century, and for that I am immensely glad! You too?

You like the qualifier in this headline? “If she needs it,“? Priceless.

Good luck telling the police that line now. “Yes, I hit her, officer, but she needed it.”

Funny, right?
(Only looking back, and only laughing so you don’t cry for yesterday’s women.)

beatyourwife(click for photo source)

 

The #1 Vomit-Inducing “Selfie”

A “selfie” is a photo taken of one’s self, by one’s self. It’s the shortened word for “self-portrait”.

Websters Dictionaries made this word the Word of the Year in 2013.

Capturing the occasional “selfie” is no big deal…but  the #1 thing I hate about smart phones is epitomized in this screen shot of the short film entitled “I Forgot My Phone”:

selfie

It’s < The kissing or wedding proposal “Selfie” > (ECK! skin crawling.)

This reaction could also be because I’m not in my twenties.

And I wonder…does this make me rustic and uncultured? 

See the whole short film here featuring Charlene deGuzman. It’s a great 2 minute piece of critique that is so accurate that it hardly fits into the category of satirical exaggeration, and maybe that was the point.

(Really the only unrealistic part is the guy actually making a phone call. I’m not sure that happens too much at all…unless someone is driving, of course. 4-6 p.m. and 8-10 a.m. I think I see a few people making phone calls behind the wheel. Texting has overshadowed realtime voice-to-voice interaction, like email did in the 1990s.)

The piece also emphasizes, by omission, the potential benefits of “forgetting” your mobile phone in order to experience life more fully. See what you think of it.

To be clear, I’m guilty of overusing my phone. Time to update my Rule of Life that includes boundaries here.

 

Direct video link: http://gawker.com/short-film-about-smartphone-overuse-is-smart-poignant-1189811144

So what do you think about the topic?

And Are you pro “selfie”, anti, or somewhere in between. I’m curious. Let me know!

You Don’t Wear Pants

click for photo source
click for photo source

(The best part about Teresa’s article to me? The various mentions of not wearing pants. It’s just always funny.)

Teresa Shourds writes a very funny blog and I love how she handles this review which could have been awkward seeing as she is not fond of dogs. gulp.

Can a non-“dog person” enjoy the book I wrote with Doug Jackson? Read on and see!

EXCERPT:

Doug asked if I would take a gander and review, you know since I’m a fellow writer and all.

Specifically, he thought it would be an interesting perspective “coming from a person who is ahem – less than enthusiastic about dogs (per a recent blog)”. I’m assuming he means this blog.

He’s right.

I’m not a dog person, or an animal person really.

I don’t torture them. I’ve learned over the years to add that clarification because once you’ve acknowledged counter cultural feelings concerning pets – people go to dark places… immediately.

I’ll watch your cat sleeping on great dane video – once.

Past that – I’m out. I don’t like messiness, germ-i-ness, destruction or poop.

I have no affinity for the idea of Spot roaming freely throughout the house taking liberties with shoes, table legs, rugs and the trash in the bathroom. I really don’t want you sitting on my furniture – YOU HAVE NO PANTS ON. Plus I’m pretty sure you drank out of the toilet. Oh, and please stop licking my leg…
I saw what you licked prior.

READ THE REST!