Growth can Start with Shame

cliftshotI’ve noticed that every time I take a new or risky step, the first thing that I experience is discomfort.

Later it coagulates as Shame.

 

So, if, say… I’m going to take on something now, or write about something close to my heart that, haven’t shared before, or extend myself in a way that feels out of my expertise or depth… I’ll feel weirdly yucky and vulnerable, and than shameful.

I’ll think, “No one will care about this, don’t be a fool.”

or I’ll think, “You will be mocked. Don’t do step out on this.”

or I’ll think, “How can I do this so it doesn’t feel so risky?”

Just beyond those moments are moments of greatest growth and authenticity.

Defining moments.

Fear is wrestled and vanquished.

We stand on the precipice sometimes not knowing which way to go…onward or backward.

If it’s starting to scare the stink out of you, you’re doing it right. You’re pointed in the proper direction.

If you feel like running, hiding, or chickening out, then, good: you’re about to grow.

Keep going.

Do the thing you feel most vulnerable doing that you’ve been hoping for down deep: It’s the idea you just can’t shake but it scares you silly.

Lent is a great time to wrestle with all this stuff and the Resurrection celebration later becomes that more precious.

Here is a Scripture meditation for you today:

Psalm 95

What is Content Marketing? (A New Go-To Guide)

GOTOmarketing

 

I’m so excited to release another Sparky Go-To Guide!

This is is only available on Kindle.

(Remember using the Kindle app is Free and it can be used on the computer or smartphone.)

The Go-To guide is UNDER 2 Bucks, too!

What? Yes. Crazy!

Everything in tradition communication has changed because of 3 seismic shifts.

This quick go-to guide will give you those reasons and the lay of the land now, so you can make the kinds of connections that will matter most.

Plus…

Ever wonder why magazine and newspaper ads, or even television and radio advertising are foolhardy wastes of money now?

Wonder no more.

The ad men of Madison Avenue (MadMen) are extinct and  reason will surprise you (and it has nothing to do with smoking or martinis).

Many people have noticed the 3 shifts on a certain level, but most haven’t understood what to really do about about it when they want to get their message out.

If you have a ministry,

a group,

a book,

a creation of some sort,

or you want to make some side money and aren’t sure how to spread the news,

get wise to this Go-To Guide. 

It will likely save you a lot of wasted time and money.

Click below to read a short sample at Amazon, right now!

The “Don’t Do This” Phenomenon

“Don’t kick elephants!”

If you are like most people you are thinking of elephants right now, and you weren’t 30 seconds ago.

You might even be wondering what would happen if you did kick an elephant.

Yes?

There is a certain psychology around how things get to the top of the mind.

We get the wrong results when we don’t understand it.

As a marketing consultant I’ve learned to adjust for it, but it’s still a challenge to remember.

We all can bear it in mind.

For instance, as parents we can learn that…

When we call direct attention to something that is not “top of the mind” we make it “top of the mind” unintentionally and can get the worst results imagined.

Not true if we allow the person to come to a conclusion through their own mental process.

One of the best ways to do that is by asking a (literally) thought-provoking question instead of giving an edict.

So for the child who kicks things…
Prior
to the situation we can ask…

What sorts of things happen if we kick someone hard?

It may help boost empathy too.

 

Here are other 5 lessons about “top of the mind”:

  1. Being blatant can be a barrier to being effective.
  2. You can mention what you don’t want, sometimes, to incite certain thoughts.
  3. The uniqueness of the statement sometimes carries more weight than the call-to-action.
  4. Hidden influences can steer us the wrong way. 
  5. Emotion can often trump directness.

 

You won’t learn more tactics if you don’t click here.

(You catch that?) :)

Tactics Kit is FREE for just 9 more days.

(with discount code “BETA”)

elephants

Be an “elephant and never forget” the good stuff you learned here today.
Sign up for the next post (through Feedburner) in the right side bar and think about peanut butter.

MMM!

on “Perfect Love”

iamlovedI’m highlighting the most powerful verses for me today, from I John, chapter 4.

…My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love…

My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

 …

…There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

 

Read the whole chapter here. (various translations can be selected)

 

I’m wondering if we are getting this.

I’m wondering if I am.

It’s simple stuff, really. It’s the simple stuff that can trip us up best, I suppose.

If God and love are inseparable why do we pollute that with other ideas that make us unloving?

I write this during Lent and I am awaken to the sense that I should repent. (turn around or change direction)

This repenting stuff has to happen all the time if we are going to be more like God and more like love.

We get it wrong.

Just like getting off on the wrong highway exit. As soon as we realize it, we have to change direction.

We want to.

What better way to know you are on the right track than to see if fear is signaling you otherwise?

Off track, love is imperfect. Imperfect: meaning incomplete or malformed. And with incompleteness comes fear.

How liberating then is love.

How lovely.

Decoding (Canine) Body Language with Funny Dog Drawings

dog-language-boogie-boston-terrier

Don’t you just love that great illustration by Lili Chin to help decode your dog’s attempts to communicate?

(This is a creative commons work. Be sure to check out Lili’s site! She deserves the recognition.)

Did any of them surprise you?

One of them really did for me.

All this time I thought my chocolate lab, Luna was giving me the cold shoulder (by sitting with her back to me)… she was actually giving me respect and trust.

(I feel like such a jerk about it now because sometimes I would mention it to her (disparagingly) and tell her that I felt sort of offended. Sweetheart that she is, she never seemed to hold it against me.)

 

Here’s a never-before-made-public excerpt from the book Luna helped inspire!

 

People who love and prefer cats, “cat people”, will tell you that cats are superior to dogs because they can take care of themselves. Cat people may flaunt the fact that felines don’t have some inferior gene that forces them to depend on others.
The sort of separation antics and hysterics don’t seem to happen to cats like they do with dogs. A cat may greet you, but it will hardly hang on your every word. Instead of nervously crying at the window like a dog does, a cat will get even. And it won’t get even because you left, but because you have overstepped your bounds.
It will pee on your pillow, for instance. It’ll turn on you in an instant with claws and teeth as you pet it. It will serve revenge ice cold.
“Dog people” prefer to be a dog’s reason for living rather than being a cat’s loyal subject. The biggest bruise to the human psyche comes from this situation: For the privilege of being a feline’s vassal it will tolerate you. 

Have you read the short book I wrote with Doug Jackson called “Dog in the Gap”?

There are 11 stories, tons of great photos, and a bunch of funny extras!

It is available on Kindle only. Installing the Kindle Reader App for your computer or smartphone is free. 

 

 

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