Sarah Bessey writes at Emerging Mummy where she has become an accidental grassroots voice for postmodern and emerging women in the Church on issues from mothering to politics and theology to ecclesiology. Her writing has been well received in many publications including Church Leaders, Relevant Magazine, A Deeper Story, SheLoves Magazine, and Emergent Village. Sarah also works with Mercy Ministries of Canada, a non-profit residential home for women seeking freedom from life-controlling issues. She is a happy-clappy follower of Jesus and social justice wannabe. Sarah lives in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada with her husband, Brian, and their three tinies: Anne, Joseph and Evelynn
Hey, everyone! Lisa, here.
I’m happy to include a lovely person, champ blogger, and Canadian beauty– the one, the only: Sarah Bessey. I could tell you that I love Sarah and that I love reading her blog, but then you would just think, “Duh? Who doesn’t, Stupid?!”
Yesterday, she had a gracious response to the flap about under-represented female bloggers by posting her own list, which you can check out with her handy dandy button (link):
So, I’ll just use this valuable spot, after the 50 Button and before the letter from Sarah (yes, it’s beachfront property, baby) to encourage you to sign on for RSS or email updates for continued awesomeness. Lots of great writers are my splendid guest contributors ( a.k.a Series #4Bloggers ). My first ebook comes out May 1 “Soul Care for Creators and Communicators”. It’s free (until NOV 2012) if you sign up for it here. (It too is part of the awesomeness. More on that in the coming days and weeks)
And now, enjoy!
FROM SARAH
Dear Blogger:
There are so many ways to be a better blogger, to increase your traffic, to maximize your SEO, to make money.
I practice almost none of them.
After nearly 8 years of writing my life out online, I’ve made almost every mistake one can make. I’ve learned the hard way to write angry, but publish when I’ve calmed down. I’ve received my fair share of angry criticism and lavish praise. I’ve been convinced that I’m God’s gift to the blogosphere and, usually within a few moments, pretty sure that my blog is an abomination upon the earth. And I discovered that what is good for the Google analytics isn’t always good for my soul.
In the midst of the reactionary, often inflammatory, competitive, over-saturated, addictive world of online writing, I repeat to myself, “Remember who you are, Sarah.”
That simple phrase has helped me decide what to write and what to publish, what to leave to other bloggers. It’s helped me focus my content, reconcile my values with my work, make decisions about blog growth tactics, advertising opportunities, networking or relationships. It’s helped me not to crash into despair when someone emails with harsh criticism or fries me up in their own blog post as a “response” served with chips. And it’s also helped me not to get too full of myself when praised, I’m very well aware of who I am and, as every one that knows me in real life can attest, I’m disgustingly normal with flaws and frustrations.
But even beyond the world of blogging, that phrase has helped me make decisions about my priorities and values. It’s helped me to shut the computer down most days, to go outside with my tinies, to make space for spiritual disciplines like silence and secrecy, to make cookies instead of nasty comments. It’s helped me to engage in the hard work of real, skin-on community, to put my physical hands to justice and mercy, to rock my babies to sleep.
“Remember who you are” means remembering that I’m more than a blogger. I’m Brian’s wife. I’m Anne and Joseph and Evelynn’s mummy. I’m my parents’ daughter, my sister’s best friend. I’m Auntie-Mama to my little nieces. I’m someone who would rather eat popcorn for supper.
And beyond all that, it helps me remember: I walk in the ways of Jesus. I am a peace maker. I am committed to speaking Love as my first language. I am an advocate for Mercy. I am a grace-receiver, a forgiver, a woman after God’s own heart.
So my friend, remember who are. In the midst of the blogging, beyond the blogging, and through it all, remember this: you are loved, you are loved, you are loved.
Sometimes you find your niche. Sometimes a niche presents itself. And sometimes you get a bit of both and it feels like Paris in Springtime, which smells great and involves kissing (and I’ll just save that bit for some other post, or my dairy).
Finding one’s niche includes a merging of ingredients:
• Perparation
• Passion
• Education
• Opportunity
You put it all together and you make it with an “m” (for mission)
And you get patty cake instead of hokey pokey.
My niche is now helping and encouraging Creators and Communicators.
People who feel put on the planet to create things or communicate important things.
Have you found your niche yet?
Or would you like some encouragement or direction?
I’ve creating new resources for just that thing.
Tell us what you like to focus on or Leave a link so we can find your niche.
I will resume blog posts at the end of next week. Until then, remember…
There’s just 1 week left in the Birthday giveaway.
This year I’m giving to the charity Hello Somebody (go ahead check them out).
I will giveaway a Hello-Somebody watch in 7 days. To be eligible comment on any post on this blog before February 23 (so that means 23 eligible days, if you’re keeping track). Somebody will be chosen at random, and boom! poor people will get a cow, or clean water, or something they need. And IF wearing a ginormous watch isn’t your thing, I’ll have it shipped to the person of your choice.
(I also recommend that when you look at your new watch you pray for them, and thank God for the luxury you live in. Sounds like a beneficial spiritual practice to me anyway. That’s my plan, and I hope you join me.)
Tweet about this post, and you get to choose your color of watch too. (Tweet with the hash tag #Bday so I can find you.) The more times you comment or tweet, the better your chances get.
If you give to Hello-Somebody this month, before Feb 23, you get special honors here at the blog.
Have a great day, and count your blessings, one-by-one!
selection of hello somebody watches
Though many close-knit groups or committed communities are not cults, plenty of groups can deteriorate socially so they have cult-like qualities. Maybe even your group.
Groups spreading throughout the spectrum of political or social affiliations have charismatic leaders with devoted and idealistic followers who are purposefully controlled. Not nice. While some affiliations exist casually (like a fervent groups of friends), others are more official and carefully structured, or even well-known.Regardless, socially destructive groups share some commonalities that may surprise you. So, what are they, and do they apply to you?
2 Tipoffs:
Destructive Cult groups have parallel traits that make them unhealthy, but also identifiable. (And yes, “Destructive Cult” are redundant terms.)
1. Employing forms of mind/behavior control (particularly for influencing decision-making)
2. Employing forms of Social Control. (Using social pressure to ensure the adoption of specific ideologies, control approved behaviors and practices; and to create isolation from others/outsiders.)
Teens and young adults can be very susceptible. Social misfits are routinely targeted for recruitment. And most potent?–The almighty “Love Bomb” which works like magic.
Our Challenge: Make wise decisions in our social bonds, relationships, and commitments; and connect with healthy and gracious communities. Reject controlling leaders and the lure of co-dependent and enmeshed relationships. Instead, nurture Interdependence and free-thinking. We should watch for signs of social decay. Human nature unabated lusts for power. If we locate damaging qualities, we should address them prudently and graciously. And, we should part ways if these qualities persist, or worsen.
Myth: Cults are religious. Cult groups are not limited to the religious/belief variety. On the contrary, plenty are political groups; social groups; activism groups, market-driven/sales organizations; and wellness/self-help groups. And of course, they don’t think they are cults, let alone admit they are. You have to figure it out for yourself. Once one is emotionally, socially, or financially dependent, this gets quite difficult. Or should I say diffiCULT? (Gosh, sorry. It would appear I have a pun disorder.)
Steven Hassan (one of America’s leading experts on cults), says:
”Nobody sets out to join a cult. No one knowingly wants to give up their life, their needs, their goals. ”They come to believe they’re improving themselves and improving the world, and it is then they are led into a psychological trap. It could happen to anybody.”
Hassan, who was once a Moonie cult member, says 4 elements of control are used in cult type groups (The BITE model):
• Behavior Control
• Information Control
• Thought Control
• Emotional Control
He lists 26 specific characteristics, within these 4 headings, at his resource site ishere. It’s very informative and worth the 2-3 minute read.
Have you been part of a group with some “BITE”?
I have (though it was long ago, thankfully).
And this nifty site(SOS Soberity) shares 5 traits of Cult Leaders; and they even have a helpful questionnaire to figure out if you (or someone you know), might be in a cult. It’s practically fun…okay, it’s mildly amusing…well, if it all wasn’t so malicious and creepy in the first place, that is.
Have you seen these qualities for yourself, or seen them nearby? If so, Please, share your stories. (Remember: Responding anonymously is an available option in the comments section.)
-Thank you! oxo Lisa
PS ugh. This post was really serious, so to avoid this being the nadir of your day (especially if you just realized that you’re sort of in a cult, which is typically a huge downer) I pose this bitty “challenge”:
If you were a cult leader, what would be the coolest cult outfit for you and your members? The traditional death cult jumpsuit? Homemade head coverings and sandals? Or maybe something more unique?
(Please note if you’d like to wear something fancier as the leader, because—obviously, in this case– you have unmitigated control.) Are there any secret cultish fashionistas among us? Oh, and promise me you won’t get too excited by this and become a cult leader, okay? Resist the temptation. (If you are already a cult leader, just leave your social security number and mother’s maiden name.)
Does this look like a helpless ass, to you? To be honest, it looks like me.
Today, I had an insightful time of devotional reading and prayer. I was convicted to lay my burdens down. I hadn’t properly realized how heavy my load of worries has been.
After I gave them to God to carry, I noticed how exhausting it has been to leverage them. My epiphany: I can be inadvertently as stubborn and pathetic as an overburdened ass, to the point where my load masters me.
Maybe you need to find some relief too.
There are about 20 days until Easter (Resurrection Sunday). The time is ripe to take a potent inventory of your worries, sins, and burdens. You are tired. You are more tired than you know. Don’t be stubborn, like me. Relent and give up your load.
Be encouraged–right now as you read this–to really take a two or three minutes to be aware of the weight and hardship of your current load.
For a minute, picture all of that as a huge backpack or bundle (see photo below for visual inspiration). Ask yourself: What are my burdens? Ask: Why am I carrying them so long?
Do you want relief?
female porter sherpa, mountain climbing
Accept God’s relief.
Now, put down your load. Put it all the way down. Try to stay with that visual image, and pray about it. What would you like to tell God?
What have you sensed in this short time of thinking about it? And, what, if anything, is God prompting you to do?
Will you follow your savior up the mountain, and give up your load?
God’s strength and forgiveness is critical for us to recognize and accept. It is our saving grace. What a cathartic gift it is to lay our burdens down. Remember the joy of your salvation today.
Today’s verse for prayer reflection: Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. -Jesus, the Christ
Feel free to share your thoughts, insights, reflections, random comments, or silly observations. We’re in this together. May your day be blessed.
