Tag: Humor

5 Really Awful Book Titles

The Mel Gibson autobiography ?

There are some awful book titles out there, but the first one in my list tops them all….and the 4 others are made up.

1.”Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story” (You think I made that up right? I Didn’t.) It’s horrible, but he could have Called it “Penetrating the Tight End”. We’re lucky, aren’t we?

2. Care of Puppies for Fun and Profit: The Michael Vick Biography 

3. Leaking all over the Place: The Julian Assange Story

4. Not Zen Cooking: In the Kitchen with Chef Ramsay

5. Winning: Charlie Sheen In His Own Words

What was the worst book title you’ve heard of?

Feeling creative? Submit an awful title in the comments section.

Teaming Up with Beacon Ads

Good news!

The folks at Beacon Ads thought I had enough “blog / internet cred” out there on the interwebs to join their stable of websites/bloggers with advertising management. Last year though. Nope.

What? you say…..is this….well, you know…The Big Leagues? Um, a wee little bit.

I’ve made some big gains in the last 6 months, but I’m still what you might call an “up-and-comer” …Fortunately if you have something to promote, this also means, compared to other Beacon sites (like Donald Miller, Michael Hyatt, the Gospel Coalition, and so on, you can click this to see them) ads here are a primo value. For this year anyway…Prime Spots, and Super reasonable pricing. After that? Who knows. I could be the next Beiber of the inter webs…or I could turn out more like Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Wasn’t that fun? (If this 10 second video didn’t play for you, here’s the link.)

Remember when Zach kissed Lisa, which was totally like stabbing Screech in the back? Screech just rips his shirt in calm but potent teen outrage. (Zach was a preppy, so this was NUTZ!) Late 1980s Saturday morning television in its heyday, people.

So if you have a book, a service, an album, a blog, a product, a trendy t-shirt, or some such “merch,” consider advertising right here, at this blog. To learn more just click the Advertise Here squares, and the folks at Beacon will make getting good promotion for you a snap!

Halloween Night: A Christian Spiritual Practice?

Porch Party 2011
We have a rather long side porch. On trick-or-treat night, we fixed it up in creepy fashion. I stuffed pants and shirts and placed them on chairs to look like scarecrows. Plastic spiders, snakes, and mice were peppered near candy bowls. Votive candles and illuminated pumpkins lit the way. We used the internet to stream in 50s-60s themed music (Think Monster Mash and the rest). Out in the back, our fire pit made a toasty atmosphere on a chilly night; and coffee, warm cider, and cookies added to the warmth, on a few levels.

The most fun was meeting new neighbors, re-connecting with known neighbors, and talking with them. I realized that there isn’t another “holiday” like this one. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter usually involve travel, plenty of food prep, and a different schedule for school or work. Not Halloween. What other time do you have dozens of neighbors interacting with you on your property…at night? It’s a unique night. It’s an opportunity.

Our visitors and friends loved the decor and seemed touched by the effort. Can I say there was joy? Can I say that, for this sort of thing? Well, there was.

I had more time this year, so I sort of “caught the bug” and went all-out. I don’t think is was the Halloween spirit either. It was the Christmas one, arriving early…like department store merchandise. And in the middle of all that good cheer, I wondered, why don’t communities, groups, or Christians team up more often create a safe, fun, and loving atmosphere for these kids and families that come to visit every year? That’s a wasted opportunity, is it not?

I learned some other amazing things:

1. When you prepare to love on people, they “get it”. (Open appreciation: Everyone wore smiles, and said thank you–a lot! It was a delight to just be giving. I got more than I gave. Seriously.)

2. Being welcoming doesn’t take much money. (I was planning to buy candy for trick-or-treaters anyway. I used things I already had to decorate, and my neighbor joined in–donating decor, and cookies.) Pretty cool, huh?

3. My kids love to host and create community. In this way, they learn compassion and kindness. All on their own, they handed out treats, informed visitors of our “amenities”, interacted with the children, and helped people find their way around. How else would I have gotten to see this?

4. It’s only 2 hours. While some parties can linger, and take lot of food prep time, have logistic issues, trick-or-treat night is a specified time with a fairly easy menu. Most people make the time for it, somehow. For our neighborhood, it lasts from 6-8p.m. It’s not too hard to get some extra things ready to make it a more memorable and a special time for visitors.

5. It shines a light in the darkness. Times are tough, and there a lot of bad news and bad things happening in the world. It’s nice to give people something good. I find it totally ironic that this could or should be best served on Halloween. But why not? No day can shut out God’s Light and Love. (This also gives new meaning to the phrase “Take Back the Night”, yeah?)

Here’s some important background information
As a kid, raised in a very conservative (i.e. fundamentalist) Christian home, and my parents believed that going out for candy in costume on or near October 31st was colluding with the Devil. “It’s Satan’s Day,” I used to hear. Strangely enough, for all our protesting of it, the (unintentional) focus was more on Halloween and evil, than it was for any typical trick-or-treater. Now, that’s whack. Sometimes our efforts to be “righteous” (or whatever) have the opposite intended consequences. It seems we had it all backwards. Reinvention is key. Hospitality can happen any day or day. Take back the night with grace and love, or at least some goodwill to men!

Is Halloween a Christian Holiday?
Well, I’ll be honest and say I had no plans to hand out tracts, or influence a conversion experience on my porch. I wasn’t sharing verses or inviting people to my church. But, it was a rather blessed time. If anyone got the message that we made a spot for them in our week, then we accomplished a lot. Maybe a lot more than the typical church (which can feel like a club) can do most nights of the week.

I don’t think I’ve had the chance to touch so many lives in such a short time, as I did on that nigh. And to borrow Eric Liddell’s phrasing (think of the ancient “Chariots of Fire” film), “I feel God’s pleasure.” Parents and kids alike remember who was kind and who had a fun place to visit. And that, my friends, is shining a light. (The short answer is just, “Yes,Halloween is a Christian Spiritual practice–now“.)

Have you ever done this sort of thing for Halloween night? If not, give it a try. You can make some effort to spread more love and good cheer on this night too. If you do, let me know how it went.

Here are some photos of our night:

Whoops, I’m in a Cult

Healthy Group or Destructive & Cult-like Group?

Though many close-knit groups or committed communities are not cults, plenty of groups can deteriorate socially so they have cult-like qualities. Maybe even your group.

Groups spreading throughout the spectrum of political or social affiliations have charismatic leaders with devoted and idealistic followers who are purposefully controlled. Not nice. While some affiliations exist casually (like a fervent groups of friends), others are more official and carefully structured, or even well-known. Regardless, socially destructive groups share some commonalities that may surprise you. So, what are they, and do they apply to you?

2 Tipoffs:
Destructive Cult groups  have parallel traits that make them unhealthy, but also identifiable. (And yes, “Destructive Cult” are redundant terms.)

1. Employing forms of mind/behavior control (particularly for influencing decision-making)

2. Employing forms of Social Control. (Using social pressure to ensure the adoption of specific ideologies, control approved behaviors and practices; and to create isolation from others/outsiders.) 

Teens and young adults can be very susceptible. Social misfits are routinely targeted for recruitment. And most potent?–The almighty “Love Bomb” which works like magic.

Our Challenge:
Make wise decisions in our social bonds, relationships, and commitments; and connect with healthy and gracious communities. Reject controlling leaders and the lure of co-dependent and enmeshed relationships. Instead, nurture Interdependence and free-thinking. We should watch for signs of social decay. Human nature unabated lusts for power. If we locate damaging qualities, we should address them prudently and graciously. And, we should part ways if these qualities persist, or worsen.

Myth: Cults are religious.
Cult groups are not limited to the religious/belief variety. On the contrary, plenty are political groups; social groups; activism groups, market-driven/sales organizations; and wellness/self-help groups. And of course, they don’t think they are cults, let alone admit they are. You have to figure it out for yourself. Once one is emotionally, socially, or financially dependent, this gets quite difficult. Or should I say diffiCULT? (Gosh, sorry. It would appear I have a pun disorder.)

Steven Hassan (one of America’s leading experts on cults), says:

”Nobody sets out to join a cult. No one knowingly wants to give up their life, their needs, their goals. ”They come to believe they’re improving themselves and improving the world, and it is then they are led into a psychological trap. It could happen to anybody.”

Hassan, who was once a Moonie cult member, says 4 elements of control are used in cult type groups (The BITE model):

• Behavior Control

• Information Control

• Thought Control

• Emotional Control

He lists 26 specific characteristics, within these 4 headings, at his resource site is here. It’s very informative and worth the 2-3 minute read.

Have you been part of a group with some “BITE”?
I have (though it was long ago, thankfully). 

And this nifty site (SOS Soberity) shares 5 traits of Cult Leaders; and they even have a helpful questionnaire to figure out if you (or someone you know), might be in a cult. It’s practically fun…okay, it’s mildly amusing…well, if it all wasn’t so malicious and creepy in the first place, that is.

Here’s a partial quote from them:

Healthy organizations are voluntary associations where people collaborate to work out their ideas with a shared purpose and specific goal. Everyone is free to criticize and hold different opinions from that of the group’s leadership. Differences of opinion are welcomed and respected. There is no psychological pressure to conform and no atmosphere of enforced uniformity. Members are free to… (click to read the rest.)

Have you seen these qualities for yourself, or seen them nearby?
If so, Please, share your stories.
(Remember: Responding anonymously is an available option in the comments section.)

-Thank you! oxo Lisa

PS
ugh. This post was really serious, so to avoid this being the nadir of your day (especially if you just realized that you’re sort of in a cult, which is typically a huge downer) I pose this bitty “challenge”:

If you were a cult leader, what would be the coolest cult outfit for you and your members? The traditional death cult jumpsuit? Homemade head coverings and sandals? Or maybe something more unique?

(Please note if you’d like to wear something fancier as the leader, because—obviously, in this case– you have unmitigated control.) Are there any secret cultish fashionistas among us? Oh, and promise me you won’t get too excited by this and become a cult leader, okay? Resist the temptation. (If you are already a cult leader, just leave your social security number and mother’s maiden name.)

Twisted Fruit (Picture Needs Caption)

Caption Please. Extra points if you Christianize it, some how, as you may be wont to do. So, be creative and bear good fruit.

My market may have the corner on reject grapes. If any image could mar the “Remain in the Vine” metaphor, this one might (John 15:5); or maybe it reflects a different spiritual truth. What do you think? If you had to create a sermon around this photo, what would be the theme?

The surprise was that I expected that a grape so pinched in/by the vine would be rotten at the protrusion, but nope. It tasted fine, even though the squeeze was on.

Other fun, informative and Fruity posts:

12 Fruit of the Spirit that never made the cut
The Giving Rules, plus Jesus with a dinosaur. (helpful gifts and corruption formula)