Humor Archives - Page 48 of 52 - Lisa Colón DeLay

My Christmas gift for a fan, inspired by St. Nick

I’m giving out something especially fun this Christmas, but first, I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and hope that 2010 will be a blessing for you.

When I started this blog in February 2009, I didn’t know what would happen. I couldn’t imagine the outpouring of kindness and devotion that would come. I started with about 10 hits/visitors a week, and now I get that many by 6 a.m. Thank you all for coming along with me this year. I will be working on this blog, writing almost every day to engage the heart and mind, and injecting fun and humor as well. Plus, in February, I like to give gifts, because it’s my birthday month, so stay tuned for that too, if you like getting amusing, or helpful goodies in the mail.

I thank you so much for your friendship and support. Technology can produce wonderful connections, growth, healing, and joy. It has for me, and I hope you find it here too. I encourage you, if you haven’t in a while, to check the blog categories, and archives to see what you’ve missed.

This is the time of year when my family and I celebrate the advent (arrival) and the most gracious gift of Jesus, the Incarnation. In the spirit of generosity, inspired also by St Nicholas, and many other spiritual giants, I’d like to extend an opportunity to all of you, by way of a contest for a special and very fun Christmas gift. I wish I had the resources to give each one of you this funky gift, I found while cruising around the “interweb,” but alas, the joy of giving will still be there, and I’m SO excited to send it out!

This handmade wallet is quite the neat treat. Made from genuine legos, it’s a snazzy gear for holding plastic cards, bill money, keys, tissues, mints, coins, chap stick, receipts for Christmas gifts you have to return, or other small objects. It’s a fun conversation starter, or a unique gift for a lego lover, (especially a “boy,” ages 5-55). It will also be enjoyed by anyone (male or female) with a taste for fun, or a penchant for innovative, and creative design.

It will be given to the 100th responder that does one of the following:

1. Follow Life As Prayer on Facebook and Twitter http://LifeAsPrayer.twitter.com, and send out a message about it.

2. Retweet this: < @LifeAsPrayer has a funky Lego Wallet Christmas gift for the 100th RT > *(Please include 1 reason why you like Life As Prayer, or how you found out about it.)

3. Send 2 friends (new visitors) to view the LifeAsPrayer blog, and have them leave a comment containing your name.

That’s it!

Have fun.

~MERRY CHRISTMAS~

Self-test: Is the Holy Spirit like a York Peppermint Patty?

Self-test: Is the Holy Spirit like a York Peppermint Patty?

Some of you won’t remember the goofy York Peppermint Patty commercials of long ago, but thanks to the marvel of technology, you can view a couple retro ad pieces right now to either refresh your memory, or thank God you were not routinely subjected to such silliness.

After you watch the short video, have some fun and take this self-test to see how you score.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaVTrIjoqo4&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Self-test:
Answer true or false, and add up your scores.

1. When you hear the word “Holy Ghost” you get “shivers.” (You prefer the less weird term “Holy Spirit.”)

2. Spiritual things are sometimes what you would call “spine-tingling”.

3. When eating minty candy, sometimes you feel a cool draft, or get a bit of a chill.

4. Watching shows like Ghost Hunters is fairly tempting.

5. You like to say “God bless you” when others sneeze–and now that you think of it, a dry and powerful sneeze seems practically other-worldly. (A wet one is just plain gross.)

6. If chocolate was served instead of bread at Communion, you would look forward to going to church more often.

7. The idea of dressing up as the Holy Ghost has never crossed your mind, yet you realize drinking some milk when eating chocolate makes sense.

8. If it were not sacrilegious, or highly odd, you could imagine the Holy Ghost (or Spirit) as a good choice for the pitchman for York Peppermint Patty and saying, “Get the (cool) sensation,” in a dry humor sort of way.

9. You can imagine Jesus eating and enjoying a York Peppermint Patty.

(Perhaps you can relate to this scenario: If you had two, and if he was physically there, you would give him one. If you had one, you would split it, but maybe you would have a brief conflict of conscience thinking of hiding it, or not mentioning it. After realizing that he would know anyways you would hope he wouldn’t mind if you kept the whole thing. Maybe you’d look at him in the eyes to check for a “knowing look,” after you averted eye contact for a little bit, first.)

10. You are finding that something simple like a York Peppermint Patty can somehow remind you of God, and yet make you a bit hungry for candy at the same time.

Scoring:

If you got more than 5 True answers you have made an irrevocable connection between a minty chocolate treat and one, or more, of the three persons of God. Use this connection wisely. It may help integrate your spirituality and draw you into a more intimate relationship with God, in everyday ways. On the other hand, you could get terribly fat filling a huge spiritual void with empty calories, and go to hell in the process.

Okay, I’m not really sure about that last part, but I do think something could go wrong in this whole setup, I’m just not completely sure what. And also, the test really isn’t scientific, in case you were wondering.

If you had fun, got a laugh, were the least bit amused, or even got mad, please tell a few people to drop by and visit to take the self-test for themselves. Then, they’ll get their own sensation.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

-Lisa, peppermint patty lover, God lover, and putting on the pounds with various chocolates.

Worst Advent Season decoration ever

Season of Advent humor:

No, Advent Season is not about singing blonde, angels, dripping in messy candle wax. Creators of this decoration just had zero foresight. How weird is this?

What’s the worst Christmas time decoration you remember seeing?

Cooking Turkey in the Hot Tub / family

Cooking Turkeys in a Hot Tub — Outdoor Cooking: Turkeys in a Hot Tub

If you can find NOHING to be thankful for, thank God that these silly birds won’t be coming to your place for a holiday meal. (Notice that the tub is being held over open flames by…um, kitchen stools… (?) yeh, ok…) Why do a suddenly sense an ambulance in the future for these people?

Quite a few of us will be with family for the holidays. This may be wonderful, or well, tough. You can choose your friends, (who can function for you as a “family of choice”) but you can’t choose your family. If you only see your relations a few times a year, (or less) keep some perspective to keep yourself grounded. Firstly, think of sanity as a goal, not a good time. ;)

Plant firmly in your mind that you probably can bear anything for a few days–even prison. Maybe even full blown torture. How bad can water boarding really be? For instance, I’d take it over having to watch Adam Lambert perform, like he did on the AMAs!

If good times happen during your visiting with relatives, count that as a blessing. But, don’t expect a lot from people you don’t often see. Sure, they will bother you, and get on your nerves. They might try to make a spa whirlpool from a tub, a roaring campfire, kitchen stools, and the gas from the beans they had the night before, but you can handle it. Why? Because you’re better than them? Because you’ve had a ton of spiked egg nog? No…well, I think, no.

What will truly help, is to see a bigger picture. Time is on your side. You don’t spend your regular life with them, or in these holiday situations. Hang in there-Be your best self, and know that the holidays are just a temporary gathering time. You don’t always have to be right, or have a dream holiday experience. And you don’t have to let them bother you. Turkey soup doesn’t last all year!

What’s your strangest holiday memory?

Jedi Training, coming in 8 weeks.

No, Mr. T is not officially endorsing my program, (which is really a focused learning group) but if he knew about it, he might.

If you’re curious, and ready to be a Jedi, click the tab at the top that reads “Jedi Training – Info.”

Only 10 people will be chosen, at a time. We begin in January.

May the Schwartz be with you.