Congratulations Chuck Norris for roundhouse-kicking age for humanity! BORN IN 1940. You are 70 years old today (2010), and you are still amazing.
I have to say, even though you pitch well for the Total Gym, my favorite of your commercial ads is for the Action Jeans, which are perfect for sudden bursts of Karate.
Chuck Norris -karate jeans
My Chuck Norris joke for the day: Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Results for top Chuck Norris Jokes: here (yes-some are hilarious, some are vulgar)
What you think about the man, the legend, the Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris?
I had a dream that I was in a candy store, and I was incredibly popular and exquisitely hip, and then I ate a enormous marshmallow.
When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
It all stems from a deprived childhood. Even if I wanted to be trendy, and I tried, I’d fail, miserably. Middle school and high school found me so often in thrift stores, it was downright scandalous. In an era of Benetton, and Jordache, it was social suicide. Oh sure, I tried to hide it. I went to Gabrielle Brothers, where clothing goes to die. I’d pick through the cast-offs to scavenge some name brands, so the girls in gym class wouldn’t give me the “stink eye,” or worse. But, inside I knew it was the shred of facade keeping me from being found out as a trendy fashion horse phony. Only hand-me-downs from a few rich kids could throw them off the scent once in a while. A saving grace perhaps.
No, I couldn’t cope with continual failure, so, I gave that up. Art Majors have a bit of an advantage here. You won’t find that I’m cutting edge. I’m not hip. Tragically or otherwise. Quirky doesn’t cut as hip. But at a mad hatter’s tea party, I’d fit right in.
The Oscars are on tonight, and it’s very important to be cool, hip, fashionable, and cutting edge. But not to be the fool. The pre-Oscar hoopla begins days in advance on television now. Oprah pimped herself to promote the nominees last night on a special show. HYPE HYPE HYPE
It all emphasizes how off beat I am, and maybe I’m not alone. Or…perhaps I am.
I realize people won’t read this blog because I know the latest on Justin Beiber, or because I’m in-like-flin with Glen Beck, (ugh) or because I just got the iPhone S, and I’m a ball of awesome coolness, because I have a app for that.
It might take a while to know what things are about here at this site. Maybe, it’ll be a while, before people can separate the goofiness, from the incised gaze at deeper being; or apprehend how those two realms can, and do intertwine.
Blogs-to be widely read-are supposed to be on the latest news, and on top of everything. They are to be authored by incredibly hip people on their way up in the world.
I apologize about that.
As a consolation, I can still guarantee there are lots of surprises and lateral, creative thinking around here. I hope that helps to soothe the pain.
Self-test: Is the Holy Spirit like a York Peppermint Patty?
Some of you won’t remember the goofy York Peppermint Patty commercials of long ago, but thanks to the marvel of technology, you can view a couple retro ad pieces right now to either refresh your memory, or thank God you were not routinely subjected to such silliness.
After you watch the short video, have some fun and take this self-test to see how you score.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaVTrIjoqo4&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
Self-test:
Answer true or false, and add up your scores.
1. When you hear the word “Holy Ghost” you get “shivers.” (You prefer the less weird term “Holy Spirit.”)
2. Spiritual things are sometimes what you would call “spine-tingling”.
3. When eating minty candy, sometimes you feel a cool draft, or get a bit of a chill.
4. Watching shows like Ghost Hunters is fairly tempting.
5. You like to say “God bless you” when others sneeze–and now that you think of it, a dry and powerful sneeze seems practically other-worldly. (A wet one is just plain gross.)
6. If chocolate was served instead of bread at Communion, you would look forward to going to church more often.
7. The idea of dressing up as the Holy Ghost has never crossed your mind, yet you realize drinking some milk when eating chocolate makes sense.
8. If it were not sacrilegious, or highly odd, you could imagine the Holy Ghost (or Spirit) as a good choice for the pitchman for York Peppermint Patty and saying, “Get the (cool) sensation,” in a dry humor sort of way.
9. You can imagine Jesus eating and enjoying a York Peppermint Patty.
(Perhaps you can relate to this scenario: If you had two, and if he was physically there, you would give him one. If you had one, you would split it, but maybe you would have a brief conflict of conscience thinking of hiding it, or not mentioning it. After realizing that he would know anyways you would hope he wouldn’t mind if you kept the whole thing. Maybe you’d look at him in the eyes to check for a “knowing look,” after you averted eye contact for a little bit, first.)
10. You are finding that something simple like a York Peppermint Patty can somehow remind you of God, and yet make you a bit hungry for candy at the same time.
Scoring:
If you got more than 5 True answers you have made an irrevocable connection between a minty chocolate treat and one, or more, of the three persons of God. Use this connection wisely. It may help integrate your spirituality and draw you into a more intimate relationship with God, in everyday ways. On the other hand, you could get terribly fat filling a huge spiritual void with empty calories, and go to hell in the process.
Okay, I’m not really sure about that last part, but I do think something could go wrong in this whole setup, I’m just not completely sure what. And also, the test really isn’t scientific, in case you were wondering.
If you had fun, got a laugh, were the least bit amused, or even got mad, please tell a few people to drop by and visit to take the self-test for themselves. Then, they’ll get their own sensation.
Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.
-Lisa, peppermint patty lover, God lover, and putting on the pounds with various chocolates.
standing stone monument-Joshua 4:9Standing stones in a jar as a spiritual practice
When I first spoke about remembrance stones, or Ebenezer stones, a visitor friend of mine wrote this:
I also have small “alters” of stones in my house…up in jars. They are written on with a sharpie pen. I write one or two words down when I have a breakthrough, or a praise. When people come to visit, they ask about the stones and I can tell them that “good things happen here”. I take that from the Bible. Whenever there was a victory, as you probably already know, they use to build an alter…so that when people came by, they would see, know and remember.
This visitor’s practice of erecting contemporary “standing stones” helps her remember God’s goodness, mighty works, and faithfulness in her life. It can help her tell her story. It’s wonderful to have a visual reminder, also, because we can too quickly forget God’s work when we hit troubling times, or get too busy.
The practice of using stones as a memory device goes WAY back. For a brief devotional or your own research, look up the Scriptures of Joshua 4:9, and I Samuel 7:12.
Consider trying this practice for yourself. The materials are easy to find, and when you go through your jar and reflect on what’s inside as you are alone with God, or with someone else, you’ll be reminded of God’s faithfulness, and goodness.
The Dark Night of the Soul, says Dr. Gerald May, sounds different in his patients when they speak. There may be (felt) discouragement, and silence from God. There may be a confusion, and a lack of spiritual “experience” or lack of sensation of the spiritual as there had been before. But, compared to his patients who have symptoms of depression, these folks do not have despair like those who are depressed do. They do not have the same cynicism, even though they may feel alone.
In the dark night times one knows transformation is underway. During times of depression, one hopes to return to normal.
Because God is not a “thing” but rather Spirit-all places at once-as we progress spiritually, invitations come to rebirth and journey closer to union with him as Spirit. What I speak of here is not a journey to a physical spot, but to an awareness of God, in a deeper, richer way. One that involves faith, not sight, or even the crutch of sensation, which may confused for God, but also cannot be God, in actuality.
We can leave behind the old methods of tapping into the spiritual that are like outgrown child’s clothing–too small for us. Ultimately, we move toward union with God in this way.
Some dark nights take years to move through. We must not fear them because they involve a greater revelation of God’s amazing grace and love. The end always results in greater insights of God’s love, and greater union with the Divine, in a brighter day.
In Part III, I will talk about the “Dawn” from the Dark Night.
Some information taken from my reading: Gerald G. May, M.D. The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth. Harper San Francisco, 2004.
