Inspired by the open heart of Henri Nouwen, I am including my own thoughts that also are in some ways prayers too. You may think of this as an Open Diary. I will share them with you, not every day, but once in a while. Though these are notes I am writing to myself, some of them may have resonance with you. I hope so.
Open Diary
You have given and you are empty. Not forever empty, but for now. Weary but not forgotten by God. You must, like you tell others to do, find your center and the place where Love resides. This Love is not you, but Other. Not only Other, but God who is and within and part of your being. Hold on to your first love and be known and healed.
Don’t try to be everything everyone hopes you are or wants you to be for them. Be sincere and true and let God find them where they are as well.
There is always a curve in the walk. A turn in the road and you are only given a piece of what lies ahead. This is because God loves you and knows you. Trust God in this. Be well in your soul as you set your heart into God’s hand.
Being empty means you are ready to be filled.
# # #
Don’t miss the next post, or others in this series. Get an email delivery by clicking in the sidebar!
Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:
1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.
2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.
(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)
I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.
Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.
A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.
Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.
So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.
• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.
• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.
• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.
• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.
• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for other things.
# # #
When was the last time you got away?
If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.
I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.
UPDATE! the promo code word “breathe” will save you an EXTRA $25!
I’ve been sitting on some very exciting news, and it’s finally time to announce it. THIS MAY 24-26…
If you’ve ever gone to a conference or retreat and had a awesome time but left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or hit that infamous post-conference slump, something new has been designed with you in mind.
Powerhouse writers (and bloggers) Kristin Tennant and Ed Cyzewski wanted to create a weekend full of rejuvenation, time and space for reflection in a beautiful setting, practical help for writers with professional, emotional, and spiritual support. All this within a small community context (limited to a small number of guests for optimal awesomeness). It will be fun, relaxing and helpful–a time for laughter, honesty, and mutual care. A holistic retreat! Honestly, you’d be crazy to miss it.
All this for less than a typical hotel stay! So cheap. Such a gorgeous setting. So awesome, I can hardly contain myself.
The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writersis just that thing that you need.
Click to get the full details and photos of the accommodations and grounds! It promises to be an amazing time! You’ll want to dig around on the Renew and Refinewebsite and find out more.
You’ll find me there too as the Spiritual Director. I’m looking forward to meeting you, spending time together, and listening to your heart. There will be opportunities for engaging in guided Christian spiritual practices like prayer (various forms) meditation, worship, reflection, and silence, as well as a few spots for one-to-one spiritual direction/soul care, if you’re interested. (More on that in later posts)
Stay connected to the info and happenings leading up to this time by using or searching for #RRforwriters tag on Twitter.
I’m been thinking a lot about how we come into knowing we are Beloved of God. When and if we can absorb that simple but huge concept and step into it, we tend to feel excited to share that reality, spread the love and help others get in on such good stuff!
How do we do it?
Here’s what I found….It’s impossible to make someone receive love or to make them know they are loved, just as much as it’s hard to receive love when we don’t feel ready. It can’t feel forced. It’s part mental ascent and part experiential, and our experiential baggage gets in the way! We can’t still be cynical and mistrusting to actually feel loved. It’s a leap. Right off the cliff toward Love.
You think you’ll die a brutal death, until you do it. Then you realize you have been able to fly on the breeze of God’s love the whole time, and just never got there.
So, I don’t have a good answer to how it works have someone receive your love, but I do know that we put ourselves in a place to be transformed and healed by preparing our heart to offer love freely. We decide that the pain won’t outweigh the gift. The reward.
Can we be betrayed? Yes.
Can we get hurt? Yes.
But we can’t offer much if we can’t offer ourselves, wide open. We can’t love others when we are not equipped to receive love. When we are hedging our bets or playing it safe. Or, and this is the surprise…we can’t feel more loved by over-giving.
BUT over-givers try this, anyway. Is this you? You give and give and give. You serve and help and meet needs, but because you are not ready to receive an emptiness starts to seep in. Then, maybe resentment. Then maybe bitterness and cynicism. The spirit closes.
It’s because love and service given isn’t and hasn’t truly been freely given. It’s been given in hopes of something…it’s changed to be some sort of bargain or potential transaction. It’s some sort of agreement known or unknown that wagers “if I give enough I will be given to. I will feel Love. I will receive and be filled.”
No. It can’t happen this sort of way.
The challenge is to do the radical renovation of tearing the walls down. Prepare to receive.
Now, what would this look like for you? Share your ideas.
Last night was a big night forFUN. at the Grammys…
I’ve heard their music but never really thought that much of them until they were featured last night in performance on the GRAMMYS and winning several awards.
The night featured new musicians at it always does and I realized just how much music gets to the core of things. It sparks numb areas of the brain and sweeps you into some greater rhythm. Maybe a unifying rhythm with the rest of humanity….or maybe I’m being grandiose.
The songs FUN. did reminded me of something. Not just a period of idealistic youth, but the role that anthems play in our lives. FUN. does well with anthems….those songs that shout a bit, the ones that let you know that something needs to be said, a deeper cry of the heart is ebbing up and pouring forth….maybe like a rain storm on stage.
