Inspired by the open heart of Henri Nouwen, I am including my own thoughts openly. In some ways prayers too. Though these are notes I am writing to myself, some of them may have resonance with you. I hope so.
Open Diary
You’ve been good at anticipating and predicting. By nature you use your intuition to navigate and decide. By nurture you’ve had to use your skill to survive in your world. You’ve tried to keep out of harm’s way by doing this. You’ve tried to thrive.
But there is a price. It is that you get yanked out of the moment that you are in. You’ve living elsewhere. Life is happening but your mind is in the future planning or figuring things out. You are cheating yourself out of the richness of the now. The present.
Just as you notice a smile from your child or the beauty outdoors your mind races ahead outside of the moment. Settle yourself. Find yourself where you are. Right now.
Keep coming back to the place where you really are. Literally, come to your senses.
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Inspired by the open heart of Henri Nouwen, I am including my own thoughts that also are in some ways prayers too. You may think of this as an Open Diary. I will share them with you, not every day, but once in a while. Though these are notes I am writing to myself, some of them may have resonance with you. I hope so.
Open Diary
You have given and you are empty. Not forever empty, but for now. Weary but not forgotten by God. You must, like you tell others to do, find your center and the place where Love resides. This Love is not you, but Other. Not only Other, but God who is and within and part of your being. Hold on to your first love and be known and healed.
Don’t try to be everything everyone hopes you are or wants you to be for them. Be sincere and true and let God find them where they are as well.
There is always a curve in the walk. A turn in the road and you are only given a piece of what lies ahead. This is because God loves you and knows you. Trust God in this. Be well in your soul as you set your heart into God’s hand.
Being empty means you are ready to be filled.
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Before I follow up (click here for part I), I want to say that I’ve learned that talking too much about a splendid spiritual experience is problematic:
1. There’s really no way language can encompass something mystical (an experience with the divine). It just won’t translate.
2. Sometimes the more you sort it out the more the sweet memory lifts in a puff and vaporizes. I just hate doing that to it. It’s like squeezing a kitten until you hear a pop. Bad idea.
(And the details work more like forensics too, like writing a research paper on your first kiss. By paragraph three you just regret starting to tackle the project at all. Not that I tried to do that, because that would be weird.)
I don’t pray the whole time when I go away for a prayer retreat. I have a Brother Lawrence life of faith, mostly. Integrated. That means Life is Prayer. Prayer is lived. Each breath is an exchange of that gift of life up into the atmosphere. That hope and petition… and God is everywhere, receiving it with a smile.
Sometimes when I tell people I go for a whole day to pray, I get weird looks. They think it must be work or simply beyond boring. Or worst of all…that it’s super spiritual and religious. It’s not whatsoever. It’s carnival of inner joy. I wish it for everyone.
A typical day away
So when I’m there, I turn off my phone, I walk the halls or the grounds, enjoy the paintings, sculptures, the plants, gardens, wildlife and scenery. I pray, worship, and intercede for others in the onsite chapel or in the little alcoves, prayer rooms, the library, or benches outdoors. When I get stiff I stretch and walk a bit more. I journal, write prayers, take notes and a few photos, and I read scripture or devotional books… just short bits. They have an art room, so sometimes I draw or paint. I enjoy snacks I brought and a good hearty lunch on the grounds. I make sure that nothing is done out of obligation or becomes drudgery. Sometimes I just sit there and be. Many times. I allow myself to truly relax and be myself. How life-giving it is. My heart fills up. It is truly sacred space. Somehow more fully the permission is given, the place is consecrated for pilgrims to come alive and enjoy it all, and feel loved ever deeply by our good Maker. Do you like picnics? It’s like that.
Sometimes I feel the shine of God and sometimes it seems God is thinking and being quiet next to me. We’re friends and friends can do that.
So, instead of going into everything I enjoyed and relished in the details, I’ll share a few field notes and let the rest be hidden to ponder in my heart.
• The Sacred will hush you and bring you home.
• As jars of clay filled with treasure (God within) we need rest and reconnection to be cleaned out and readied for God’s use in holy work.
• Life is short, bitter-sweet, and suffused with exquisite joy and ravaging sorrow–all that makes us more human but it takes divine healing through it to become whole. We are simply too fragile to do “being human” apart. Beside God, we need people who love God. People have God inside, and that helps.
• The birds aren’t frantic as I assumed for too long; they are alive with work. Excited to be themselves.
• Deep calls to Deep. In God’s whispers the deepest parts of ourselves are stirred yet we often mistake it for other things.
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When was the last time you got away?
If you’d like to go and you live near Reading/Lebanon, Pa, let me know. I’m always happy to go with a companion. I travel there with a friend or two, then we go off, each own our way to enjoy God or pray and then meet back up for lunch and sometimes discuss it a bit.
I also offer a guided experience there, and more info for that is here if you are interested.
This means sometimes I write for it myself, and sometimes I find great guest writers who write for us or allow us to repost previously posted articles.
I scope out the inter webs for insightful and practical articles for anyone in a leadership position…from a small group leader, to a parent, to an influential thinker and writer, to a minister, to a business owner. Anyone who influences someone else is in a position of leadership.
[BTW-send me your links of leadership articles or pitch me your ideas. I’d love to have new voices posted at the Deeper Leader blog!]
There’s a lot of information out there, but there’s a big blind spot too.
I’ve noticed something. Not too many male leaders list women authors, leaders, and thinkers in their blogrolls or refer to them in posts. You don’t see that women influence them. What about Christian male leaders? It seems twice as bad.
Michael Hyatt’s “Intentional Leadership” blog is a favorite of mine. I LOVE it. But have you noticed that not one video on his homepage sidebar features a female leader? Does he even realize the omission? Should he maybe be more intentional on this part….I think yes!
(and so should I! I need to question who I read and why. I have a blind spot too.)
• Is it that men don’t give it much thought? (an innocent blind spot that is likely borne of “male privilege“?)
• Is there a hidden bias or disregard for female leaders, and even among female leaders themselves?
and do men feel less manly if they read women authors? Any of that going on?
• Do men think, “Sure, I support women, but women leaders speak mainly to women and not to me”?
Let’s ask some hard and honest questions while at the same time not blaming, dividing and separating from each other. Let’s move the conversation forward!
I, for one, am going to assume the best from my male writers and friends. I’m going to put my trust and hope in the idea that if we bring the imbalance to greater attention and awareness maybe we can chip away at the disparity and both genders will be richer for it!
• What about you?
Are the top ten blogs or books you read written by a balance of men and women? If, so why or why not?
Are you taking the time to learn from someone else’s purview?
• How do we do better at offering others the chance to hear insights from the whole breath of the human species?
• What can we do about the blind spot?
LINK UP & Join Forces?
If you’d like to participate in the conversation, write an article and leave the link in the comments section. I’ll put the word out about your post too!
Andi Cumbo is tackling this and a few others. Will update soon!
I got the great privilege to sit under the wise teaching of Dr Barbara Krasner yesterday. (Contextual therapy and a family systems-centered healing perspective.)
With 48 years of experience as a therapist and scholar can you imagine the depths of her knowledge and understanding? But, probably not.
Every sentence was 9 months pregnant with power and meaning. Each concept could be a textbook of its own. Wisdom. Truly.
Gleanings
One of the things that struck me was that she said the first 10 sessions of therapy is almost wasted. People come with certain expectations or barriers every time they first begin therapy, which delays healing.
• Often we simply just want the other person “fixed”.
• We are too ready and able to blame or judge, which the Dr says has zero value.
• We also hope for magic. They assume she will have powers and skills to quickly produce healing and normalcy for them.
She says that she sees her vocation not as a person who has the answers, or simple fixes, but as one can help others see resources they can use to help themselves. Resources they are unaware of or haven’t considered. Communication resources, options, starting points. She helps them look “under rocks to see what they’ve missed, to see what’s working, even if it’s the most basic thing. They may not realize that hope is a choice for them.
Communication and Transactions
Krasner says it’s important to “simultaneously translate” what a person is saying and what they are intending to say. What is heard is often misunderstood and one’s upbringing plays into how we hear others poorly.
• Understanding the context of the message and the person is critical for coming to points of healing and trust.
The biggest reason people divorce?
• They cannot disagree and still stay connected.
(This is true for other kinds of troubled relationships also.)
The most important things we can teach our children?
• Forgiveness (With grounding in loving-kindess: Hesed love.)
