post Archives - Page 8 of 18 - Lisa Colón DeLay

Guest writer at Everyday Liturgy

I’m very glad to have the honor of being the guest writer today at Thomas Turner’s blog:

Everyday Liturgy

Thomas wrote me saying,

I would love for you to contribute a 500 word (or so) post about how participating in a particular church or denomination has helped make you the Christian you are today. The purpose of this series is largely ecumenical, and looks at the positive you gleaned out of the experience. If you had a bad experience that turned into something good later on, I would think you could make a great post out of that…

Some of you may not know just how fundamentalist my roots are.

Here’s but one example:

Several people approached my mom to discourage her from marrying my dad. Why?

Because their offspring would be bi-racial.

Plenty of (fundamentalist) Christian groups at the time prohibited “inter-racial” dating and (obviously) marriage and pro-creation.

Southern Baptists were the slave-owning southerns who coined their monicker at the time of the American Civil War (to them known as “The War of the Northern Aggression”). Northern Baptists, as they were once called, later changed their name to American Baptist and became (typically) more progressive and liberal in their views over time.

Southern Baptists proliferated to many places outside of the the South (to the American North and through missionary work, to all parts of the world), but kept their name and, as you might guess, some of their same notions.

(To be fair, things have changed for the better, mostly. Today, folks in churches coming from that tradition run the gamut of very strict and conservative… “old school patriarchal imperialist southern” -if you will- to more gracious and relaxed in their dogma on issues of race, gender, and other matters.)

(By the way, my dad was Puerto Rican. Are you curious to see what he looked like? Here. Like most conversations about “race” –as if that was an actual thing– it’s really just vestige of a medieval mindset and a preoccupation about skin tones and/or physical features. Sadly, it still is and by people you would imagine would know better. But, I’ll tackle that in some other post.)

I wonder how many of them were relieved that I ended up having my mom’s light skin.

(This is were Obama and I are alike. Like me, he actually looks more like his mom than his dad. Trust me, it’s true. I notice these things! :) )

So, what was my journey and where do I stand now?

Give it a read and find out!

Mindset Followup: A [visual] framework for abundance

[scroll down for visual guide]

I used to think books with “daily affirmations” were goofy new-age baloney.

Why would reciting some sappy self-help mantra change anything?

I still don’t own a book of daily affirmations but I’ve learned a lot about transformation.

Plus, the recent empirical scientific data shows what many of us who’ve studied spiritual formation already knew from a long record of wisdom writings and human history:

“As a man thinks so he is.”

3D brain scans verify that our thoughts, habits, and patterns (physically) change our brains, down to the cellular level and even into our DNA!

Prayer works like focus. Meditation works like concentration. And yes, affirmations can truly transform attitudes.

All 6 can, and do, change us for the better. It comes down to effort.

With practice, bad habits get harder to break (not so great), but new thoughts and actions build new cortical pathways (hope for betterment!).

I have some firm beliefs that I’m bent on making a potent reality:

1. My perspective can determine my actions.

2. My attitude can improve my life.

3. Reminding myself of the truth about abundance can transform me.

4. Connecting to a positive version of reality can revitalize me.

5. Hope is my choice.

I decided to create a handy guide to make each day better.

If you ever struggle with being positive and hopeful, I hope this makes it easier.

It’s really helped me to see the path visually.

I’m hoping to improve how I determine and live out my outlook and actions each day. How about we do it together?

Sure, we’ll fail sometimes, but maybe some guidance will steer us right again, soon.

Skeptical? Give it a chance.

Seriously. Try it for a few days:

1. Use this visual guide to help you.

2. Remind yourself throughout the day about your choice of a scarcity or an abundance mindset.

3. At the end of each day, review and see if you lost track of your perspective–then recommit to keep at it.

3. Note your mood and attitude throughout the day to gauge your progress.

4. Share your progress and this guide with others, if you’ve been helped.

I made it for you to ebed at your website, or share on Facebook or pinterest.

Want to pass it along? I’d love that.

Want in on the upcoming goodies and posts? Whoot! Sign up in the right sidebar!
Interested in brain science?
I recommend this:

On Mindsets: Achievement vs. Contentment?

couplesmile I’m mulling over some things.

I’m beginning to wonder if those of us with a large degree of ambition, or drive, or even longing have a distinct disadvantage…

Are the skills and traits helpful for achievement also a tripwire discharging unabated discontentment?

Achievement, of course, is not negative. Nor is the desire to achieve, in itself…but I wonder about the byproducts. I wonder about the trappings or downsides.

Is the “content person” someone who tends to be less ambitious and is therefore more satisfied at a core level?

Or, could the experience of a more lasting satisfaction also be reached through a pruning process of maturation and holding the two in a difficult, but possible, creative tension?

How do you see it? I’m throwing it out their and hoping for extra insight.

I’ve been thinking about perspective and mindset. The next post will followup with a look into a framework for mitigating or ameliorating the issue. I created a visual to serve as a guide for the next post. You won’t want to miss it.

It, like me, is a work-in-process, not a final solution.

What about you?

Want to weigh in?

• Given that discontentment isn’t necessarily negative: Are you more content or discontent, in general?

• Do you sense that it’s connected with your ability or desire to achieve? (Why or why not?)

Visit soon. It’ll be a treat!

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Thanks for visiting, today! See you soon.

-Lisa

Everything…but connection

chianlink

My friend Kayla visited her parents’ church over her summer break for 10 weeks or so.

They were attending this suburban church with a large attendance each Sunday morning and I thought she’d really enjoy the change. Maybe she would be disappointed to come back to her normal, small-town life.

When I asked her about it, she said, “I should have loved it. The music was amazing; the people friendly. They had lots of youth programs and small groups going, and the pastor chose meaningful things to teach. I should miss it, but I don’t.”

This surprised me, so I asked her why she thought this was.

She said something so simple that it gave me a punch of profundity.

“You don’t miss something you don’t feel connected to.”

I started to wonder about the people I’ve lost through death, circumstances, or diverging paths.

Some I missed and some I rarely thought of. Those I did not miss much weren’t really all too different (in general) from the ones I did miss. It didn’t directly reflect the quality of person they were or if we had a lot in common. Like Kayla pointed out, I missed the ones I felt connected with and to. Reflecting on that, the ones that had stronger bonds created more longing or loss in the void of their absence.

That may seem pretty obvious, but the critical gap comes in when we miss why we are connected and what it means to be available and vulnerable on a regular basis with others you can trust. Apart from that, you won’t miss much.

I sense something has been lost in many communities of faith and in many other places because we are so much more amused by our distractions than we are connected in deep ways.

Human connection is never really about measurable stats. We already realize this. It’s about investment in others, sure,

but it’s also about the reciprocity of that investment. It’s always a two-way street.

Some people are wonderful and you invest and hope for a harvest–of some sort–where you both benefit, and you assume they do too, and then it doesn’t happen. The fruition doesn’t manifest or withers on the vine. Maybe the soil was bad, maybe a storm came or drought, or pestilence, maybe something else thwarted success. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times you just sense something is wrong that is hard to make right again. Sometimes you just need to move on and other times, you have to try again in a new season with different seed.

That happens in faith communities and in interpersonal relationships. It happens in business and in extended family life.

If the connection is lacking you won’t be missed. And you won’t miss them. It’s likely that you will feel disappointed about that.

We overlook the idea and process of true connection even as we want it the most.

Is there some thing or someone you’d like to feel more connected with?

Oh,
3 more things.

1. I will be posting a “spiritual-themed” topic about once per week. The other times I will concentrate on other ideas depending on what strikes me and will often concentrate on topics related to helping you create and communicate better.

2. I really am excited to see what this year brings and I’m really happy you came today.

3. Check the top right sidebar to get the next post sent to you through Feedburner!

Discovery: The Cave of the 5 Kings

photo by David A. Dorsey (area of Makkedah)

This is my final post that pays tribute to Dave Dorsey, in light of his recent passing. (To read the others, please use the search field in the sidebar and search “Dorsey”.)

One of the lasting legacies of David Dorsey is in archeology.

After much research and motorbiking around the area. Dorsey correctly located the biblical place Makkedah–the location of the cave where five Canaanite kings hid from Joshua (Josh 10:16).

In class he gave us the details of this adventure which included a lot of language research (forensics, really), visiting the area and speaking with local inhabitants, and even included a strange tale of a strange (and he said perverse) Arab man who offered him his wife and daughter for sexual pleasure.

(I’ve heard of Middle Eastern hospitality…but that’s just too hospitable, right?)

Dorsey’s proposal was not accepted immediately– theories are typically contested–but the location is well-accepted now in reference books and textbooks. It’s commonly seen printed on Biblical maps that refer to that time period. If you hear the story, think about Dave and this contribution. It’s a fine legacy.

You can read his paper on the location here.

You can read of this and other findings in this book.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this brief foray into the influence Dave Dorsey had on me. I could continue this series for a long time, and perhaps, once in a while, I will post a gem of knowledge or wisdom he gave me.