Can’t be good? Then, fake it.

Have you noticed that Honesty is sometimes confused for speaking out in a tactless way? Being “true to our feelings” can reveal the worst parts of ourselves.

Circumstantial Goodness
My goodness (shown in how I think, speak, or act) is too often circumstance or feelings based. Is that true for you? We may treat someone well, if we feel well and good, or if we fear the consequences of skipping out on kindness. Those two things, however, are not goodness or good character sourced from a deeper, formative level. They don’t reveal goodness engrained in our true selves.

FAKING IT?
While, I will not advocate deception, phony pretense, or falsehood, there is something to be said for acting and speaking in a most virtuous way, until our thinking catches up with it. In other words, do the right thing so often that it becomes the new normal for you.

So, it’s actually the idea of acting (living/interacting) from our “best self”, not from a fabrication.

Example:
Say you struggle with keeping a positive attitude: Try putting on a positive attitude until your way of behaving is difficult to separate from who you are…until your thinking changes. “Wear” a sanguine attitude, until you forget that you’re wearing it, and it becomes an extension of you. Think of it like how you would put on and wear a coat over your regular clothes during cold weather until you feel warm. (For me this would involve a hooded coat.)

Do it until you feel it… or ” option 2 “
I’ve usually advocated the opposite of what I have just said. I’ve thought its best to, “Get your thinking right, and then enact it.” But, you know what? Sometimes we’re just not “there” yet. Sometimes too many circumstances, or unmanageable sentiments block this from happening easily. Now, it seems we can get there from either side, and this, my friends, is good news indeed!

In Christian spiritual formation, we implement practices, concepts, and awareness of that which stimulates Sanctification (a.k.a. the process in which we develop into God-like (Good, like God) people through-in-through. We also consider: “What are God’s qualities?” One that stands out is perfect goodness. This perfect goodness is never based on feelings or circumstances when it’s attributed to God. It simply IS.

Thanks for reading today. I can almost hear the gears moving in your mind, so remember, your comments are welcome.

What can you tell us about feeling/thinking good before doing, or the other way around…doing before we’re feeling it? How does it work for you?

Verse of meditation: Colossians 3:12-14
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.


Translucent Mosaic or Shards of Glass?

I met with my spiritual director today. In our time of prayer and reflection with God, the image came to mind of being seated among colored shards of glass. And I sensed God’s direction to let him put them together into a beautiful mosaic. How less beautiful would the work of art be without his Light to shine through it?

I don’t know how to put the broken pieces of my heart or my life together. But, I can hand them over to my Artist to make a masterpiece. The design, intention, and artisanship, of a Creator changes the useless into his glorious creation. I’m “in progress”, and when he’s done, I won’t just be mended, but I’ll be his lovely work of art.

Help me, dear God.

Do you feel like a mosaic in-progress? What places need to be mended in your life?

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When your Kids HATE Mealtime Prayers

some other family enjoying mealtime prayer

Do you pray before meals with your family?

This Christian spiritual practice is one I grew up with. I was praying at meals since I was 3, and I remember some of those first prayers. Do you remember getting to pray for the meals as a child? It felt like an honor to be asked, as I recall.

Here’s where it gets weird.
My two children (ages, almost 11 and 8 years old, respectively) seem to loath mealtime prayers, under any circumstances.

Unlike many children from praying homes, mine rebuff any offers to say the prayer at mealtime, even when they are sweetened with awesome bribes! They usually complain about mealtime prayer, despite our conversations about having our particular family tradition and its importance in our view of the world. Most often, the kids see mealtime prayers as a unpleasant obstacle preventing their nourishment. And, it seems to be worsening as time goes by.

That’s right a 30 second prayer time before meals is worse than other forms of child torture…like going to bed at 8:00, or hanging up one’s coat, or emptying the silverware from the dishwasher. I don’t get it either.

As a person who’s spent hundreds of hours researching and learning how to help people grow spiritually, this is a bit of a black eye…oh, and a punch in the gut. It’s not just a bit embarrassing to realize, but  it makes me think that perhaps my children’s basic spiritual formation is compromised if these times of prayer are not meaningful and helpful when we do them. I think we could all be the worse for our failure here.

So, I’ve been speaking with my husband about how we can change things up, and enliven family prayer time to make God, and thanking God for our food more participatory, vivified, and worthwhile for all of us. I want children with grateful hearts.

I thought of some ideas, and I hope you will contribute to the mix too. I could use your ideas and advice.

Idea 1. Lighting a candle:
Kids love fire. Right? I’d like to try to light a voitive candle for each of us and read John 8:12

Then Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. The one who follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

We can then respond. “Thank you Jesus for your light in our hearts. Thank you for our meal. Amen.”

Idea 2. Maybe adding a kind of prop, visual aid, or short object lesson with our practice would make it not just a more interesting time, but will carry on in their thoughts. Then, at night when putting them to bed, we could bring it up again, for a little meditating or conversation for an evening prayer.

Idea 2. Maybe using a mixing of responsive prayers during the week could awaken us to a richer time of thanks before meals.

Prayer 1:

(lead voice) The eyes of all wait upon you, O God,
(others) And you give them their food in due season.

You open wide your hand
and fill all things living with plenteousness.

Bless, O Lord, these gifts to our use and us in your service;
relieve the needs of those in want and give us thankful hearts;
for Christ’s sake. Amen.

Prayer 2:

(lead voice) Bless us, O Lord, who bless your holy name
and by this food, feed us for your holy service.

(others) Thank you, Father and Lord. Amen.

This one could be said after meal time, to add some thankfulness “bookends” to the time together.

After meal prayer:

(lead voice) All your works praise you, O God,
(others) And your faithful servants bless you.

They make known the glory of your kingdom
And speak of your power.

For these and all God’s gifts and graces,
let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God. Amen.

Other ideas:

1. We could also go around the table and thank God for something. (My kids balk at this usually.)

2. We could stand and hold hands, or change our posture during prayer, from the norm (which for us is holding hands while seated).

3. When could listen to a singing of a psalm, or worship song before the meal.

HELP! What else can be done to make mealtime prayer better?

Fasting Class, January 23rd

Bellegrove Church, Anneville, Pa

My first session with the brothers and sisters at Bellegrove church was a lovely time.
For those in my last class, the free online copy of
Brother Lawrence’s Practicing the Presence of God is here. I hope you enjoy it. You will also find more resources for Lectio Divina here. Just type those two words in the search field, and BOOM–jackpot.

Fasting is the topic for next week.

Together, we’ll be covering the questions:
What is fasting?
What does it involve?

Who fasts; or who should fast?
What’s the point of fasting?
What are the benefits? What are the drawbacks?
How and when has it been used in the Bible, and throughout Christian history?
What kinds of fasting are there?
Should I fast, and for how long?
Guidelines, explanations, and interaction this coming Sunday, January 23rd, and 10 a.m. Bellegrove United Methodist Church, Anneville, Pa. (Worship service, with Pastor Dave Alderson, begins at 8:45a.m.) We hope to see you. The previous post with more details, here
.

For those who can’t make it, I’ll post some notes on the lesson, next week. Or, if you’d like to set up some sessions with your group, of 5 or more, contact me.

Have you ever fasted?
Please, share your last experience with fasting, here.
Thank you for reading.


Who Am I? (poem from prison: Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

It’s not so much a matter of who we are, but who we belong to.
This poem was written by a man who would soon die at the hands of his Nazi captors. At the end of his life, he could question who he was, and who he had been, but his resolution to all of that rests in Theological principle, in worldview.

Please enjoy, and feel free to comment.