I found this quite funny.
At almost every wedding (where a dance floor is part of the festivities) people hear from wine like this.
(and not just at weddings!)
Tag: dance
On Preparing for the “Other Shoe to Drop”
Maybe it’s happened to you before too…
You look at your child who may sleeping, or being themselves, or doing something they love …and your heart fills with a rush of joy and good pleasure. This is quickly followed by dread.
“Maybe it’ll all be taken away,” you think.
Maybe something terrible is about to happen. Maybe things won’t work out. Fear.
Or perhaps this sort of dread will surface right after a big personal victory or good news.
It’s like that perfect moment of happiness has a gremlin that pops up and spits on it. For many of us, especially if we endured a bit of pain or disappointment, our Joy is followed by foreboding.
This strange death grip on joy is quite common. With a self-protection machete we slash down joy or happiness with contingency plans and preparation for the worst. Upcoming disappointment won’t catch us on our heals, we think.
It’s all about avoiding feeling vulnerable according to Brené Brown who talks about this in her book Daring Greatly. She’s done the research and says that those who’ve done regular preparation to avoid pain still aren’t prepared when disaster strikes. Instead they are devastated, just like the rest of us. But sadly, they have mortgaged away their joyful moments in on-the-spot while bracing for potential disappointment and pain.
So what can inoculate us from from short selling our joy?
It’s simple: In-the-moment gratitude.
Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, push aside the tormenting doubt, dread, or mistrust. Sideline the foreboding that steals that moment and latch onto to gratitude. Hold on with both hands. Gratitude sustains joy. It’s like a Defense Against the Dark Arts skill, says Brown. She’s right. It works.
It might go something like this, “Oh, my, we’re all picnicking and enjoying a wonderful time outside. No one’s fighting and everyone’s happy to be here. Yes, it might not last, but my how grateful I am in this very moment, this perfect beautiful moment. I’m going to let it soak into my bones. I’m breathing it in.”
Stay with it as long as you can. There is a guiding light in gratitude… and gremlins, as we know, are afraid of light.
The truth is that joy and sorrow are linked. They do a dance our whole lives, really. But, hope and resilience can win the day. That’s an important bit of useful knowledge to give our children, too. With some intention, we can live in the Joy.
Oh, and when the other shoe drops, use it as a planter.
(photo source)
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A Fig Leaf for You & a Fig Leaf for Me
A shinny new sports car!
Fast. Convertible. Hot stuff. As it growled away I thought,
“What a Fig Leaf!”
In about 30 seconds you can see (or hear) the things people do to cover up… to compensate and distract themselves and others from their insecurities. It’s all a Fig Leaf dance done to hide shame.
To see it in ourselves can take a bit more time. Funny how that is!
We are always, it seems, pushing back somehow on the sense that we aren’t enough. (Even by drawing a comparison, which is what I did when I spotted a sport car fig leaf, reveals my cover up attempt, “I’m not as bad as that.” I said in my heart.)
Consciously or unconsciously we send signals to whomever might listen, even if the listener is us:
• I’m smart enough
• I’m talented enough
• I’m wealthy enough
• I’m pious enough
• I’m capable enough
• I’m attractive enough
• I’m good enough
• I’m strong enough
• I’m loved enough
• I’m dedicated enough
• I’m worthy enough
I. am. okay.
Each way a Fig Leaf. Each way a stab at trying to reconnect and find home. We all long for connection and acceptance.
Social creatures as we are, we still want to look like we have it all under control and can go it alone. The sinking feeling that perhaps we cannot sends a jolt of pain that has us picking fig leaves and making coverings for ourselves.
The truth is being vulnerable feels like being naked. We hate it. We feel exposed. We’d rather hide.
If something or someone reveals our mistake or shortcoming, we take it personally–as a reflection of some core flaw. Fig leaves are everywhere.
I don’t have a sport car to show off, so my fig leaf might not be so obvious to others. But it’s there! Oh, and I have much more than one fig leaf too. I too feel like I’m not enough, and plenty of ways and failures come up each day to point it out for me.
The only thing that helps to give me traction and drop a few leaves is admitting it and risking and then relying on my closest relationships to reorient me–including my relationship with God. Those who really love me reinforce that I already am worthy of love and acceptance. God reaches out in Scriptures, through others, and in the Living Word (Jesus the Christ) to drill home the fact that he covers all shame with empathy and love.
Guilt = I did something wrong (admit it, fix it, move on)
Shame = I am something wrong (we stay stuck, we go numb, we disconnect, we over-protect ourselves)
If you want to drop a few pitiful fig leaves, start by taking a risk and reveal why you cover up. You don’t have to do it in public, but apparently you have to do it to be well.
Brené Brown (who you’ve probably realized by now has inspired this post) says that “We are only as sick as our shame.”
I’m reading this, and I recommend it to anyone who has a Fig Leaf or two.
PRAYER FOR THE SHAMEFUL
God, hear my prayer!
I keep scrounging for things to make me feel better.
I remain unfound by your love in times when I deeply need it.
Be my Hope and Deliver
Let your love wash over me and renew me
That I can be born again into a greater Light and Love
And even as a new born baby is vulnerable and so dearly loved
Let me sense that I am your child in the same way
I am strongest and most protected when I realize I am in your arms
Let me sense your acceptance and closeness.
Remind me of who and where you are.
More Mystery: Video, Lady Gaga PRAYS (yes, to God)
Several times I have covered Lady Gaga on this blog. She is a complicated person, and now she’s openly speaking of spiritual things. So, this is my tuff (area of expertise and education), and I want to weigh in. You can too.
It’s the habit of most who comment about Gaga to past judgement on her, but that is not the point of this post, or my other posts. While I welcome your comments, I ask that you attempt to be thoughtful and intelligent in your responses. You don’t have to like her to comment, but if you want to bash her, find a different blog to barf on.
It seems she’s the archetype of a person who is (seemingly) easy to pigeon hole. But this mega star, and so many like her (who are not in the limelight) are just people who are trying to find their way in the world. You may think differently, but maybe you should watch the footage below, first.
I provide this engagement on the topic of the person who is the singer and performer Stefani Germanotta because so many are watching her and following her.
When she asks people to do things, millions respond. This strikes me as important to note for Christians, as we interact with those God loves, and enact the messge of the gospel of God’s grace poured out on us, in Jesus Christ.
Also, I think it helps (as Christians) to engage the struggles of many people, all while questioning our motives and the hidden influencers of our interactions with people that sound, look, dress, and act differently than we prefer. I’d say it takes to task our enactments of grace and love toward God, ourselves, and others. I hope it will challenge this in you.
Besides, it’s really a gawker vortex, seriously, no?
So, here is the topic de jour. Let’s talk about this. I found this recent video footage quite curious:
The scoop:
Unlike many stars, Lady Gaga prays before concerts (to God, not herself as some might first assume or expect).
This prayer footage (from her upcoming HBO special) begins at the 2:40 marker. (The first part of the video is somewhat of a breakdown in her confidence. Quite a bit of crying, part pep talk, some non sequitur stuff, and some emotional hysteria. But, to me, it also seems to be, at least in part, some genuine footage of the acute struggle this 25 year old has performing and living life larger than life in front of millions of fans and foes.)
Will her public prayers to God encourage others to rely on him too? Perhaps. What do you think?
And, yes, in case you’re wondering…I could speak to what seems like a bit of flawed theology, but I’m waiting for her to phone me, so we can talk it over.
Actually, I think many would be good to follow her lead in seeking God’s help, as she does here.
Yes, I question her use of the word “worship” when speaking about her fans. It strikes me as overdone, misguided, and/or unhealthy, unless she is actually referencing serving and loving them selflessly. And, yes, it could all be just a stunt, as pop stars are given to do. I’m not naive.
Nevertheless it provokes a deeper look at the spiritual.
Let’s face it, how many super stars pray, and ask for God’s help before a show, let alone allow the world to see them do it? Don’t say “Amy Grant”. That doesn’t count.
Remember this also, her core fans aren’t Christians, or praying types, in particular. What does it behove her to be so “old fashioned”? Isn’t it much cooler to be “over Christianity” and be Buddhist or wear a red string Kabbalah bracelet?
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NOTE: If you watch the first part, or the very end after, marker 3:46, be aware that there is some cussing. You have been warned.
3:46
Lady Gaga Presents: Gaga Revealed by HBO