Authors – Page 130 – Lisa Colón DeLay

Checkmark Envy: How the ‘M’ word tells the truth about vanity

I’m warning you, right from the start. I’m going to use a word I haven’t used before when blogging, and maybe only 12 times otherwise. It’s one of those words that could make me lose all my readers, maybe even you. But, I’m going to do it, because I have to tell the truth.

I have “checkmark envy”. When I see the Verified Twitter Account, the checkmark reversed out of cyan, I want one, too. Badly. It’s been going on for about three months. It has everything to do with feelings of self-worth. Important people have Verified Accounts. People that matter. Wanting it has everything to do with sensing my value, and worst of all vanity.

So, I realized something, Vanity is spiritual masturbation.

Now that I said “the M word”, I want to unpack what I just said, so we don’t miss the forrest for the trees.

Some people think masturbation can make you blind. Do people still think this? This obviously reflects poorly on blind people. It’s made me question Stevie Wonder, for instance. Well, not really. (After I wrote this, I found out it’s Stevie’s birthday today…what a “God thing”, huh? I mean, sorry Stevie for that extra weird bit of undue attention on your special day.)

Some people think it’s perverted. Some think it’s necessary. Some think it’s just plain fun. Some say, when in doubt, do it. Like Nike, right? Never mind.

Here’s what it really is. It’s a reduction and diminution of a real and powerful thing. The goodness of sexual intimacy is given a shabby surrogate. It’s not more or better, it’s less. It’s a shortcut that cheats you–producing fulfillment temporarily, but soon leaving you feeling more isolated or lonely; even trapped, or increasingly compulsive.

Vanity is the same way, but more thoroughly. It holds hands and makes out with shame. It’s focused on sensing worthiness in a weird, circular, and disappointing quest.

I learned a lot about these sort of pitfalls of shame (a.k.a. “hame”. Yeah, refer to Brown video) yesterday, from Dr Brené Brown in this amazing (20 min) video about so-called “shame studies”. Watching it could change your life.

It’s given me the courage to admit this kind of spiritual masturbation addiction I avoid revealing.

I want to be somebody. God’s answer (healing) for this is to be thoroughly aware of being known and loved ever still in him. It’ll take my whole life to fully get there. This is but one of my forward steps.

Do you feel the need to be “verified”?

My message to the graduates

27 years ago, my middle school teacher, Mrs. Herbster, had us memorize the poem “If–” by Rudyard Kipling. Kipling might be best known as the author of The Jungle Book, which Disney made into movie that included a brown boy in a loin cloth, a snake with twirling, zombie eyes, and a blue talking and singing bear.

I thought I would really impress my former teacher all these years later by reciting it, as part of my speech to the graduates, during their celebratory luncheon at Christian Fellowship Academy this Monday.

See, I have this great memory. I just have to read things a few times–and boom–they’re in my hard drive. No. This used to be true, but I haven’t upgraded my memory, and my hard drive has loads of non sense on it. I tried it, but could only remember the first four lines. SIGH…. hmmp.

I still want to read it to them, on Monday, though. It’s GREAT advice. Maybe you’ll get something out of it too.

Tell me what you think about it.

IF–
-Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Calling all Bloggers!

I really enjoy some blogs out there. I’ll limit my recently read, recommendation list to 10, but I assure you, many more could make the list. In no particular order:

1. Stuff Christians Like.

2. Jesus Needs New PR

3. Wineskin in the Smoke

4. John Lee Saddington

5. Brett McCracken

6. Captain’s Blog

7. Ed Cyzewski

8. Thom Turner

9. http://www.passengerblog.net

10. Christopher Cocca

Who did I miss?

Gosh…I just realized I haven’t included any women bloggers. That’s seems so odd to me. It’s true that over 75% of my readership is male. I’m kind of like “one of the guys”… but I have a working uterus.

If you are a blogger, promote your blog today. About 1,500 people read this per week. So, it’s some good exposure. Explain what you write about a bit, and include a link.

What are your favorite blogs to read? Tell us.

Thanks for sharing!

Foot Washing (The Maundy Thursday observance)

Today, I’m tossing a lateral pass on writing. My friend, Doug has recreated the Last Supper in a short story form that is both potent, amusing, and contemporary, and thereby worth your read. I think you’ll like his take here:

Excerpt:
Jesus bolted from the dinner table – didn’t even say “May I be excused?” – stripped to his boxers and started washing everybody’s feet. Peter made a fuss, of course, but Jesus said, ….

“Maundy” is derived from the Latin word, “Holy” (set apart).
Do you celebrate “Maundy Thursday”…or remember the events of the the night of the Last Supper, or Christ’s action of taking the role of a slave and washing his students’ feet? Reflection on that today, for at least a few minutes.

Read today’s Scripture below:
AND if you’d like share your spiritual reflections here:

Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

JOHN 13:1 Now nbefore othe Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that phis hour had come qto depart out of this world to the Father, rhaving loved shis own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 During supper, when tthe devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing uthat the Father had given all things into his hands, and that vhe had come from God and wwas going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, xtied it around his waist. 5 Then he ypoured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 zJesus answered him, “What I am doing ayou do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 bPeter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, c“If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” 9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, dexcept for his feet,1but is completely clean. And eyou2 are clean, fbut not every one of you.” 11 gFor he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

12 When he had washed their feet and hput on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, i“Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 jYou call me kTeacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, lyou also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, mthat you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, na servant3 is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 If you know these things, oblessed are you if you do them. 18 pI am not speaking of all of you; I know qwhom I have chosen. Butrthe Scripture will be fulfilled,4 s‘He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me.’ 19 tI am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he. 20 Truly, truly, I say to you, uwhoever receives the one I send receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

Evil in less than 2 weeks

Evil is a complicated topic. There is much disagreement on the details of it.

I will be attempting to open the topic up to reflection and discussion on April 30th. (Bethesda EC Church, Reedsville, 9:30am)

To learn more or prep yourself for the class, you can read a few posts I’ve already done on the topic, here, or this one on hell here. You can read the information wikipedia has offered, and click here.

I highly recommend N T Wright’s work on the topic. “Evil and the Justice of God”. Really clever stuff!

Here’s a 2:47 minute video promo on the book:

Even more interesting (and NOT a promo piece for the book) is Wright’s response on Hell. About 3:16 minutes.

On April 30th, we’ll encounter “Theodicy”, also known as the topic of why a good God allows evil, and these such questions:

• What or who is evil?

• What is the point of evil?

• Why does God let evil happen?

• What should we do about it?

So, I’m putting those tough questions out to you. Maybe you’ll help me prepare for the class a bit better. What is a “must” to include in my lesson? What bit about “understanding” evil has been most helpful to you?

Thanks for your help.
-Lisa