“Why don’t people from your church come and help you here? It says it the Bible to visit us…”
A man asked me this question at the end of class.
He was an inmate: a lifer.
Prison is a place of lasting aloneness. A place where you are reminded that you are forgotten.
Trying to overcome it is a big deal.
Volunteer groups are cherished by inmates like fresh air. They thank us each time we come.
I didn’t know how to answer him. I sort of felt crushed.
Not just that he would ask, but that the truth was so simple and unreachable.
He suggested I speak to my church and invite them to participate. I already had.
“It does say that is the Bible. You’re right. I don’t know….
I’m sorry,” I told him.
“What keeps them from coming?” another man asked.
“Maybe because all people know about prison is what they see in movies. Maybe they are afraid.” I said.
That comment incited and 3 page letter the prisoner brought back the next week to help convince people from our church that they were not violent and they were also Christians who love the Lord, were re-paying their debt to society, and wanted the support and Christian brotherhood.
But, nothing like that can be taken out of a prison. (It’s a felony.) He had to keep his correspondence. I thought he was going to cry when he explained that he needed to keep what he wrote. Abandonment? That was probably what I was on his face.
It’s heartbreaking.
But, I also wondered if some of the reasons were really a greater indictment on Christians and human nature.
• Laziness
• Lack of compassion
• Self-centeredness
• Distain for outcasts
Could this be it?
If I asked people from my church, face-to-face this time, what keeps them from being involved, they might say,
“I’m just too busy.”
Or “I’m not really interested in that (in them).”
Or, “I don’t like criminals. They deserve to be where they are and we shouldn’t make things easier for them.”
or maybe,
“I’d rather be doing two million different things than that!”
And whatever the reasons, good or not, they hamper the work of Love.
Hopefully, by now you’ve done homework and feel like you are progressing in new ways.
(I’d love to hear about it! Send me a note.)
Now we are on STEP 3
“S”
Service
This one may make little sense to you.
You may think,
“Really? That sounds backwards. I don’t know my purpose yet. I’ll try service once I get that figured out, duh.”
It’s not as backwards as you think.
(Creative Commons photo)
What will appeal to us in terms of service is often closely tied to our talents, gifts, and greater purpose.
Here’s an example:
When my kids were very little I made a point of helping my friends prepare for a big, yearly program. Instead of being fulfilling, it was frustrating and felt futile. I realized that my skills and passions were better served elsewhere. This eventually lead to many other types of service that tapped into my greater purpose and held greater meaning for me.
In the beginning, what drew me to help out was a sense of friendship, community, and desire to love and minister to others–to be part of something greater than myself. Those were all things I kept seeking. What I left behind were projects that could miss the forrest for the trees. The experience helped me know when projects were too detail-oriented to be optimally useful in a greater way, for my preferences.
Would I have been able to narrow things down for myself without making this (seeming) mistake? No. And it wasn’t a mistake to help, it was a clarifying exercise.
Would I have been able to decipher what types of service aren’t a good fit for me without this experience? Unlikely.
In serving, something else happens. It’s big and you’ll see the pattern once I mention it:
In losing ourselves we are found.
That means by taking ourselves out of the middle, we can see and choose better and more easily.
(It doesn’t mean thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less–by design. Thus, we more expertly “stumble” on to bigger insights.)
In a way, you don’t find your purpose at all, it finds you.
From my perspective, finding God works the same way. You are only lost to yourself, not to God. So you don’t so much “find him” nor does he “find” you. Instead you wake up.
The same holds true for finding your purpose.
We tend to assume, just by default, that finding our purpose must start and end with us. Not so.
Just like Worship, service makes finding your purpose far easier because it becomes a revelatory process. Finding your purpose, like finding happiness, comes as a byproduct of doing other things.
So where can you start with meaningful service that will help you find your purpose?
Here are some categories and qualifiers to explore:
If one stands out as more meaningful, or ignites your passions (which is directly connected to your purpose), try that first. Check with your church, your community, your local schools and organizations, local charities, or just asking around to see what available or sounds like a good fit.
What ever it is, do something. The key on this step in ACTION followed by reflection.
If you are already serving, reevaluate it. It is leading you to a greater purpose or holding you back?
(If you are overly involved in service, then it’s time to scale back.)
HOMEWORK – take some field notes on the following questions:
• Do you like Creating? (What do you like and how do you like to do it?)
• Do you like helping and being useful? In what ways?
•Using your body more than your mind to help out?
OR
Using your mind to help more than your body?
(At the end of the day, which feels more satisfying and why?)
• Do you like being the glue that holds people and projects together?
• Does helping behind the scenes feel meaningful?
• Do you like detail-oriented projects…
OR
Being the visionary that comes up with and starts the project?
• Do you like teaching? (If so, what about it appeals to you?)
• Do people in need ignite your passions?
What about your past service appealed to you and why?
(If you don’t have much past service to serve as a gauge, that’s your biggest obstacle. Start right away. You are much too “in the middle” of your world and you need a break from yourself.)
[You guesses it! This is handy-dandy notebook time! Write out your field notes from the questions above.]
Also consider:
What specific population do you feel drawn to serve?
(It’s okay to specialize and then turn away things that fall outside your scope. This refinement is usually helpful. However, once in a while change it up and serve outside your specific domain–it will surprise you by opening new doors or clarifying your purpose further.)
Types of Populations:
• elderly
• children
• poor
• students
• the needy
• peers
• 20-somethings
• new parents
• the forgotten populations (immigrants, incarcerated, homeless, mentally ill, etc.)
• who else?…
Assess how your TALENTS and SKILLS play into your past service decision.
• What sort of technological knowledge, special skill, unique experience, or centering insight makes certain kinds of service easier?
• What is your “backstory”? Your backstory tends to shift you toward you purpose.
The next step is “P”…come back soon.
Do you know anyone who’s struggling finding purpose, or feels “off-track”? Pass this along!
Sometimes, I get sort of a “sleep attack”. I don’t think it’s narcolepsy, but I’ll feel my brain start going into delta waves or something–like a sheet is being pulled down over me. It’s almost like passing out slowly.
If a cat is deprived of sleep first it goes insane and then it dies.
Cat naps are essential.
As fellow-mammals, I’m not sure that we are so different.
Sometimes sleep is the boss of us.
That’s why these 3 images were my favorites from a slew I came across. Which one do you like best?
Was this a wet cat trying to dry out?
Not sure about the lumbar support situation here, but I see a supple feline in complete relaxation.
My small hometown–Murrysville, PA–is undergoing a time of shock and pain because of the Alex Hribal’s attack. Two steak knives and a blood bath. Many heroes were made, but the event was and is traumatic–rocking the community to its core.
My young niece (the daughter of my brother’s who is a Franklin Regional Alumnus from the 1990s) was not allowed to attend her classes at the elementary building at Franklin Regional and her street shut down as FBI, State Police, and legions of first responders, media, and others have swarmed the scene.
My family’s church, the church were I was married, mourns as an entire community and feels trauma and pain deeply because several from their youth group teen were wounded. Some of them have undergone surgery.
All are expected to survive. Praise be to God for that grace.
It would be easy to say this youth of 16 years old is a monster, but students attest that he was very nice. Answers for why it all happened are left unanswered at this time.
In these times, the community of faith raises its voice in communal lament. We are comforted by each other and by a good God who is with us in our pain.
Sadly, violence has become a normal occurrence in school settings… and it may be your hometown that suffers next. But, parish the thought!
If not that, than surely you and your community will encounter pain and loss.
For that, here are some thoughts on Communal Lament.
1. About 1/3 of the Psalms are songs of lament. They are meant to be sung as prayers. They can be read with that in mind.
2. God invites us to cry out in our pain, not to suppress it, or put on a “happy face”. That kind of honesty dignifies our feelings and helps us feel our emotions fully, so we can move toward healing.
3. Communal laments are always meant to be expressed in the context of ongoing faith and trust in God.
4. Our laments (communal and individual) are a normal response to the pain and loss of life and living; they help us experience greater bonds of community and healing from God.
5. Laments of the psalms are unvarnished. That is an important quality to understand. They depict the anguish, desperation, pain, and messy feelings that often smack of ill-intension toward enemies and abusers, in parts. They may seem to condone retaliatory violence. But, that’s not the end of the story (song)…
6. If the reader or hearer pays close attention, she or he will notice each song ends in hope and trust in the Lord. This is key to the communal lament. All is left in God’s hands.
(In this way, our burdens lift and our faith grows.)
7. Communal laments are a cry from a whole group for Justice (things to be put to rights) and this ultimately necessitates the elements of…
• Mercy
• Forgiveness
• Reconciliation
• Restoration
• Redemption
Here is a resource on the types and categories of Psalms. May they be of comfort to you.
Join with your community and raise your voices in lament when your hearts are heavy with sadness, pain, and grief.
For your reflection:
Psalm 63
A psalm of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
6 I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
7 Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
9 But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.
They will go down into the depths of the earth.
10 They will die by the sword
and become the food of jackals.
11 But the king will rejoice in God.
All who trust in him will praise him,
while liars will be silenced.
Was this a wet cat trying to dry out?
