BIO: Nicole Unice is on staff at Hope Church in Richmond, Virginia, and the author of the breakout book: “She’s Got Issues” which she wrote from her counseling and ministry experiences. The book produced and encouraged a refreshing and radical honesty that she’s built on in her new book “Brave Enough”.
Enjoy the Shownotes and links below and please share this with friends that you know CAN be “Brave Enough“. Thanks for listening!
#GetBraveEnough
xo
~Lisa
P.S. Would you like to get a special, cozy Spark My Muse t-shirt?
on the Richmond VA place and new midtown location.
1:30
Nicole’s podcasting experience (the Becoming Podcast) doing hundreds of episodes with her pastor doing 15 minutes shows for commuters.
Lisa asks: Is “campus” a Christian code word for mega church?
2:40
How she grew with Hope Church for 18 years, as they started out small in an elementary school “cafetorium”.
3;50
The “Youth Lodge” plans and the unique setting with wetlands and hills.
5:10
On the importance of Beauty, Setting, and Art in architecture and church building planning to evoke the imagination, inspire awe, and connect with the heart.
6:40
Collaborative workspace, and place where kids can do their homework and where people can enjoy the time away in a beautiful setting.
7:40
“artist come through the side door of the soul and preachers come through the front door.”
8:50
The history of the church and Christian tradition is one where the Church is source of beauty, wonder and connected to art because God is a the Creator.
9:40
Her first book: She’s Got Issues
6 main issues women (and men) face that can be a hinderance.
A rich relationship with God can come to a dead end as the ways we do life stop working.
12:00
How was it received? The #1 thing Nicole heard was, “You’re so honest.”
Why would honesty be such a revolution in Christianity?
12:40
She leaned into that for her next book “Brave Enough”
13:00
The story of how she got the title for the book:
To the question, “Do you think you can be brave?” Lucy Pevensie in the Chronicles of Narnia says, “I think I can be brave enough.”
14:35
Few women will self-identify as brave. [and not many men will either]
“After we identify the hinderances, what does it look like to walk forward in freedom?”
15:00
Brave Enoughis about Grace and its effects, inside and in action.
15:40
Nicole answering the question: Do men have the same problems in this area?
16:00
“Women hearing teaching from women is like hearing in your first language.”
16:30
Ways Nicole leads and teaches men.
17:00
on how women have to translate teaching from men into their “language” and context.
18:00
On how, similarly, Brené Brown was challenged (by a man) to include men in her writing and teaching. (Lisa)
18:40
How men and women have similar vulnerabilities though they might deal with them differently.
19:40
“up speak” tones in language in women and men revealing different insecurities. (Lisa)
21:00
Nuggets from the Brave Enough book:
How the ingredients mixed into something she didn’t expect. It follows a narrative “arch of the heart”. How we can be full and free and confident in life.
22:30
on why (inner) freedom is illusive for men and women.
On “Fake Grace” in our head. (the excuses we make or how we blame others). Inviting God/Jesus into those places.
24:10
We all (default) and go back to rules and laws and how to short circuit that pattern.
It’s about resetting the heart with a new spiritual reality.
25:00
Radical honesty about our ugly parts inside the heart.
25:30
Nicole’s Parable: The violently stopping of the elevator door…(and how it relates to our soul).
26:10
Open ourselves to God’s Presence and healing.
26:10
(Lisa) God uses what bothers us about other people is a mirror of what we don’t like in ourselves.
27:20
How our baggage works to impede our progress.
Brave Enough includes major parts on forgiveness
28:00
God’s breathing on us and giving us the mission of forgiveness, first.
Today is my 5th day with Poison Ivy. I wish getting a rash from the stuff made me look like Uma Thurman in the Batman Series. But no. It’s on my right hand, my neck, and my face. (I’ll spare you a picture…but if you’re weird and very curious you can find one I posted on Facebook… cause I’m weird. It was really more of a cry for help.)
My husband was impervious to the wiles of the wicked weed throughout his whole life. He was a sort of “Leaves of three, won’t hurt me,” kind of person. He was quite immune, and had an immense confidence in his resistance.
Little did he realize that one can develop a sensitivity at any time in life; sometimes suddenly–out of nowhere. You probably know where this is going, right?
Yep. Two years ago he yanked out a very pesky vine in our yard, and developed bumps under his watchband. “Bug bites,” he said. Very nasty and itchy bite causing bugs, with the kind of kind of moxie to work around and under a tight plastic strap, and skip all the easy biting areas. Hands? Ankles? Neck? That’s for sissy bugs! These bugs were The Seal Team 6 of the insect world.
After a few days, and the “bug bites” spreading (strangely enough), he complained how powerfully allergic he turned out to be to these vicious insect creatures. I took one look, and said, “That looks just like poison ivy.”
He said, “It can’t be poison ivy. I don’t get poison ivy.” Still, he agreed to have the doctor take a look, and was treated with a steroid for guess what? Now, he lives a life of fear for that side of our yard. Recollecting the agony has made him a different man.
HERE is a link to properly identify these common rash inducers.
People can be like poison ivy. Sure everything is innocuous at first. Maybe, we think, “Great, they’re raspberries!” Raspberries have leaves-of-three. And raspberries are delicious! Mmm. We interact with them, and after some searching, we don’t seem to find the fruit we thought we would. Nevertheless, no ill comes of it. It’s more of a enigma than anything. Hardy plants too. Look at them take off!
Then one day, it strikes us, these leaves-of-three people actually cause irritation, and a distracting burning itch…that spreads. You may try to make it work. You may try to just “semi-interact” with them, but a rash is always the result. Usually, it’s the kind of rash that gets a bit worse with each encounter.
Finally, you realize, “Leaves-of-three, let them be.” They are, in fact, poisonous to you and many others…even though they may seem like wonderful raspberries at first. Where they are comes annoyance, pain, or vexation. They are clever look-alikes. Nothing can make them raspberries, and you have to stop acting as if there is a way that a wholesale change into “something else” is possible. You realize you can cancel their debt of inflicting you, but you don’t want to be touched by them, or get too close anymore. It’s just not worth it.
Have you ever had to avoid a “poison ivy person”?
What are some cures or remedies you’ve heard of for helping with poison ivy? (The plant kind, or the people kind.)
And I’m really curious, What kind of prayer do you think might help with regards to poison ivy people?
I’m glad to come to your site, and start thinking more seriously about my own spiritual growth. I want to keep it in the front of my mind. Well, I guess you could say, I want to “make the main thing the Main Thing.” Wasn’t that a catch phrase once? I get together with a friend to pray, and keep accountable spiritually. Last week we started talking about having trouble with doing the things we are trying so hard not to do. Really, it’s like how Paul says it in Romans-
Romans 7:19 “I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.”
For me, it’s pride. As I start to work on it, I basically get puffed up as I feel I have a handle on it. I catch myself in false modesty with others too. So, really it’s a step backwards. I’m doing what I don’t want to do.
For my friend, she says she struggles with keeping on a good face for show, or pretense. She feels like a fake. She says the more she tries to not put up a front, the more she feels that is exactly what is happening. She is even more conscious of herself, and in the end is more phony. Maybe it has to do with self absorption. Do other people feel this way? Do you have any suggestions?
Thanks for allowing me to post this Veronica. I can’t say with 100% certainty, but I think what you reveal is quite a common situation. And perhaps you’re right. We might be worse off as we focus on our problem (as you say, self-absorption) rather than pour our adoration into God, follow him, and really turn to him and trust him to make us more like him. Doing what we don’t want to do proves our desperate need for total dependency on God. The more we struggle to do better, the more we’ll find we come up short. I believe relinquishing our control of our own sanctification process (the development of our godly character) is something that is necessary to have freedom, enjoy God’s love, and progress toward the likeness of our Redeemer. It isn’t something we can ever manage, or do well our selves. For me, it is a continual surrendering/yielding process where I humble my will, and heart to God, and give God the timetable for my character restoration, as I recommit to participate fully in his process. (It has to be continual, because I don’t do well for very long!)
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