Tag: hearing
Are you a Sheep? (10 sheepish things you should know)
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At first blush, sheep are lack-luster. Yet, Jesus called his followers sheep. Was it some kind of “divine dig,” or was it a profound insight for us to absorb? Or both? Most of us don’t raise sheep, so some of the sheep tie-ins and metaphors in the Bible are lost on us.
To remedy that, just a bit, here are 10 things amusing things about sheep. It could change the way you think about God and life. Tell me what you think. Actually, there are more than 10 listed, so think of it as bonus material.
1. Sheep are … um, well, sheepish…So, you know… shy…nervous, and they frighten easily, especially in response to noises.
2. Sheep are basically defenseless against predators (which are often of the canine variety.)
3. Because of their body shape, and bulky wool, sheep can fall over easily. They find it very difficult to right themselves independently. Staying on their backs can be fatal, and that’s not just because they can become someone’s meal. Gases in their four stomachs build up, and they can die in hours. Sounds Painful! Watch a sheep get righted.
4. Sheep are valuable: Besides being used for milk and meat, one pound of wool can make ten miles of yarn. Can you say “waterproof sweaters”? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Three bags full.
5. Humans have been raising sheep for about 11,000 years, and spinning sheep wool into thread for about 5,000 years. But…why don’t sheep shrink after it rains? I have to know!
6. A lamb can identify its mother by her particular bleating sound.
7. Sheep have poor depth perception. They avoid shadows or big contrasts in light and darkness. (Think shadow of death = a scary place. Psalm 23.) They will move towards the light.
8. Sheep have excellent senses of hearing and smell. (They also see well, and in color. However, because of where their eyes of located, their depth perception is shabby.)
9. Sheep avoid walking in water or moving through narrow openings. (Back to the sheepish bit, see?) Sheep also prefer to move into the wind and uphill more than down wind and downhill. (Maybe because they’re afraid they’ll flip over? Not so dumb, after all, huh?)
10. Sheep survive attacks by staying in a group. “Flocking”.
(And, in some places they race sheep. That’s right, I said “race”! Sheep can cover 220 yards in 17 seconds! I know…insane.)
Don’t you just love this sheep racing photo? Look at the expressions of sheer determination, even professionalism. Speaking of shear, is it against the rules in professional sheep racing to trim down their wool? I imagine they could shave 2 or 3 seconds off their times.
What surprised you about sheep in this post? Anything?
Now, think for a minute, in what ways are you like a sheep? Let me know, if you think of something.
Ya know, I feel like it’s time for a few more sheep jokes. Sadly, all the other ones I know are pretty Bahhhhd. Actually, the last time I told one (.3 seconds ago), it fell flat, and I started bleating like crazy.
Thanks for reading.
Of Bullies & 5 Clues that Your Dictatorship is Ending
I have to be very honest with all of you today. I’m REALLY struggling.
I’m reeling from some awful news about a man who’s been going to our church. The article is here, but be aware, it makes for horrid reading if you’re a parent, or have a heart for children.
Everyone is heartily nauseated by this series of events, and plenty of people hope he dies, or is tortured, etc. As sick as this makes me, I continue to wonder where redemption and restoration can be found for all involved. What would God have us do? My heart feels broken.
I ask you to stop, right now, and pray for all involved.
Abuses of authority rank at the top of things I loathe, and I’ve seen it in many varieties that I won’t go into right now. I just cannot seem to get a handle on this situation, right now. I couldn’t sleep last night, and I’ve been wondering just how many young people have been hurt by this person, or those like him.
Sadly, the statics are so high, it’s likely there are more abusers that just haven’t been caught, within our fellowship and community–but I pray not. The trouble is, like rape, child molestation is one of the most underreported crimes. The FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin states that only 1-10% are ever disclosed. Please, read that again, and let it sink in.
Kids like my disabled son, and shy children, are prime targets. And hearing about it all, so close to home, makes my blood run cold, and prompts me to action to defend and protect the innocent.
A FEW FAST FACTS that you should know:
• 96% of these types of abusers are male, and the average pedophile knows the victim, and molests 260 victims during their lifetime.
(I’m not trying to condemn a gender, but seriously…what the heck?!)
• All have a fascination with pornography. Please! Read that again. Now, think: how easy is it to get a hold of that, and feed the monster? Rates of abuse are skyrocketing, with no end in site. If you struggle with this issue, and pornography is in your life. Get. help. now.
Pornography is a gateway poison, that leads to a diseased mind and criminality. We need to come forward, and be honest about just how detrimental it is for all sectors of our society.
• The behavior is highly repetitive, to the point of compulsion, rather than resulting from a lack of judgment.
Um. wow.
And here the other fast facts from that source.
For now,
I’m going to channel my energies in this post to opposing and satirizing Dictators, because that’s about all I can do without crying, at the moment. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and varieties, but they have the same basic qualities.
My choice today is Muammar Muhammad al-Gaddafi, who’s a bit dim witted. Bullies thrive with creating fear, dictators especially so. When the fear is diminished, hope flourishes; and many will struggle to the death to gain freedom.
Here are 5 Clues Gaddafi could use to extend his life. But, I really hope he never reads this.
1. Realize the importance of shoes. Sure, women, for millennia, have valued shoes, but in the middle east, the bottom of one’s shoe is considered vile. If posters of you are getting whacked with shoes, your time is running out. You are considered lower than dirt, and probably for good reason.
2. Calling Yourself a Martyr Doesn’t seem to hold any sway. When Gaddafi said, “I cannot leave my country, I will die a martyr,” it probably told his opposition he really just “didn’t get it”, right? Or, maybe martyr in Arabic means “fool”.
3. Your Fancy Hats Cease to Charm People. Nothing says coo-coo like a stupid hat worn by a sociopath. This has never been more true. You folks from Reedsville know just what I mean.
4. Your Putting on of Aires is Lamentable. If you pretend you are Lawrence of Arabia and try to imitate his wardrobe, disaster is probably in your future. Really Gaddafi is decades overdue.
5. If your best friends are dictators, the signs look bad. Palling around with other known dictators isn’t just in poor taste, it shows to your “subjects” that you root for the bad guys, which includes yourself. Try to not be retarded, if possible.
Thank you for hanging on with me, and reading this today.
I’m sorry it’s bizarre. Too many sad things all at once I suppose.
-Lisa
I fought the Law, and the Law won.
Today, I contested a citation for breaking a statute: disobeying a posted (Stop) sign. I made a short video showing that the intersection has a blind corner where one risks being hit from behind if one pauses for too long. The officer admitted on the stand the that intersection, which has two Stop signs, is the most ticketed place in the whole township; however, of the two signs, one sign gets 1 out of 20 violations. When questioned, he could not venture any guess for this disparity.
I pointed out, through video evidence, the hazard of this junction, and why this disparity of violations takes place: Drivers wishing to regard the posted sign and obey it, may pause only briefly out of warranted safety concerns.
I lost the case. The $109.50 fine was not reduced.
Reason: You must stop at Stop signs.
As the judge was deliberating in her chambers, the officer says to me, “I remember you. Weren’t you going to school, to a class? And I said you could use this [ticket story] in your class [Theology of Suffering].”
Me: “Yes.”
Officer Myers: “How did that turn out?”
I said, “It went fine. I graduated…from seminary.”
Officer Myers: “From seminary. Oh, okay. Oh, good. What are you going to do now?”
Me: “Ministry. I hope to help people in recovery from drugs and alcohol.”
Officer: “Oh, ppptt, that’s a tough group. That’s hard. Well, good for you. That’s good. Good for you.”
Me: “I see those types of problems as spiritual problems. I think recovery and healing can take root if they start working at a core spiritual level. Then, healing comes spiritually, emotionally, and chemically.”
Officer: “hmm.”
He seemed to lighten up a bit after that.
A few minutes later I was found guilty. $109.50, (I broke a Statute, so I received no points against my license.)
Here’s the court video I presented. (After the session, both the officer and magistrate offered compliments on my presentation. The strangeness of that bit caught me off guard.)
I still contend I did not break the spirit of the law, even if I did not duly pause. My behavior will change henceforth!
Have you ever plead “not guilty”?
What do you think about this case? :)
STOP, don’t roll through…
&
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