Lisa Colón DeLay

One aspect of the pre-Easter season (Lent) is confession…

Well, not really. The majority of Evangelicals avoid or ignore the command to confess and even the concept of confession. One great excuse is that we don’t have to be like Catholics who have to answer to a priest for our sins and then do penance. We don’t need a mediator between us and God. How empowering!

But, ignoring or avoiding confession also gives us a chance to hide in our sin and deceive ourselves and others…hum…not so empowering! That’s like putting our soul in jail.

True and thorough Healing and transformation come in and from the context of community.

Jame 5:16
International Standard Version (©2012)
Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

But –Why would confessing heal us?

There is a kind of cleansing that happens in confession. That’s why it’s not optional. It’s not just a purge from our end either.

Revealing ourselves to others has transformative power. Thousands of 12 Step followers will tell you countless tales of life-altering transformation that came through this route.

Simply put–God purposefully makes healing real and possible when authenticity happens with others. It will not happen on our own. This is by design because it makes us healthier to be connected in such a way.

There are no AA groups with 1 member because that would ensure failure. Healing works the same way for all us in that regard. Isolation keeps us stuck and unwell. Blind.

The Holy Spirit uses our honesty and uses our transparency and does his good work. Transformation! A confession is not just an apology (“Hey, sorry I made you feel that way.”) but rather it’s a careful decision to be authentic, to expose one’s self to the light of truth, to change, and to take a new course. So it is blessed.

This is the power and efficacy of prayer and repentance.

 

In the next post I’ll cover who we should or could confess to…

Do you think it matters who we confess to? (leave me a comment or voicemail)

Do you confess your sins and shortcomings regularly? (leave me a comment or voicemail. Yes or no and why or why not.)

 It’s easy to forget to visit this blog, because you’re busy. I know how that is. I update with new content about 3 times per week. You can get the new stuff sent to you AND you can use my content as well. So, click in the side bar for new content delivery and please check out the Permission Policy page for the rules for fair usage. Thanks for spending some time here today. :)

 

LASTLY- Is there anything you should confess? You are invited to do that here, or simply admit to confessing to some other human here (if you want to confess in another venue).

photo image found here:

Boutique Retreat Options, from a trained Spiritual Companion – Starting June, 2013

Throughout my life God has provide spiritual guides to journey with me and encourage me when I needed it most.

In gratitude I hoped to offer this to others as well. It took a number of years, but I got the needed experience in mentoring, leading, and companioning plus my Masters Degree in Spiritual Formation, and now I enjoy guiding spiritual pilgrims, like you, (and from various faith traditions) in transforming, personalized getaways.

This experience helps you explore the ways of God and your own inner world in a very potent, personal, and rejuvenating way, for a few hours at a time or a few days at a time, which ever suits your circumstances.

I call this a “Boutique Retreat” experience because each time is an original, from the ground up. Each is specially designed with you in mind to breathe freshness and insights into your life in a way you have rarely or ever encountered. Great care is taken to nourish your soul and aid you in transformation, healing, and growth.

Like readying a garden plot, I create a safe and sacred space for you to better encounter God through the Holy Spirit. Your needs like food and devotional material are provided for you, so you needn’t worry about the details. All you have to do is show up and be ready for the seeds of renewal.

You have permission to relax, breathe deeply, and encounter God in a way that most helps you, with as much structure or free time as you enjoy.

Following a preliminary conversation about your current spiritual needs or life circumstances, I tailor the experience to you and with gentle shepherding I include elements such as spiritual companioning, prayer, time for private reflection, and enjoying God’s creation as we journey onward.

Deep calls to Deep
Have you been feeling soul-weary, spiritually thirsty, or you sense God calling you to something deeper? It’s time to listen. Getaway and rediscover yourself as God’s Beloved. As you recover yourself you will sense God’s love more deeply become a greater blessing to others.

This sort of Soul Care doesn’t happen at a conference, in personal devotional time, or at a church service. While those things are usually helpful and needed, the occasion of a personalize spiritual experience like this one is truly unique.

• Some find added value in bringing a friend or two along to journey together, and that is encouraged if it’s a good fit for you.

The cost is minimal. The experience is priceless.

Within a gorgeous setting you will enjoy feeling deeply welcomed, revived, cared for, and blessed… and you will not go away unchanged.

LIST OF GUIDANCE OPTIONS:

Personalized, Specialized, and Focused on your unique needs = Boutique

These special experiences are drenched in prayer for you and are specifically designed to be potent by being limited to an intimate number of 1-4 participants only. (Prices below reflect per person costs. Groups of 3 or 4 may deduction %10. New referrals have the same discount.)

• Personal Guided Prayer and Refreshment Retreat 1/2 Day (4 hours) $45 per person.
(a.m. or p.m. options available)

• Personal Guided Prayer and Renewal Retreat Overnight option (at retreat center) 1/2 day  (4 hours) + full day (6 structured hours + free time) $140.
Includes 2 meals (breakfast and lunch 2nd day. Departure in afternoon), a snack (1st evening), modest room accommodations, and a personalized schedule with prayer, time for reflection, and guided devotional time.

• Custom-crafted Guided Prayer and Rejuvenating Retreat Weekend (at retreat center)
Schedule: 2 half days (Friday and Sunday) and a special engaging schedule on Saturday. (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday and snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.) $250 [limited spots]

• Leadership Development Retreat Weekend. For emerging and developing leaders, this personalize retreat experience focuses on vocation, self-discovery, interpersonal skills, spiritual growth, and leadership development to ensure success in leadership or correct problems in current aspects of leading. $275 (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday, snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.)

• Personal Guided Prayer Retreat–for Pastors or care-givers. This option caters to the special needs of those who minister and regularly offer care to others (such as lay leaders, helps professionals, parents, and those caring for elderly parents)

Often pastors and care givers empty themselves but don’t make the time to be adequately refilled. This is a gift a pastor or care givers should give to him or herself, but a healthy congregation will offer these opportunities for pastors. Ask your group to sponsor you for a needed getaway.

This particular personalize retreat experience focuses on refreshment, healing, spiritual growth, and development to strengthen the minster, lay leader or care giver for further service. A discount is provided to those in full-time ministry or care. Weekend option: $235. 1 Day Overnight option: $130. (Weekend option includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday, snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure. 1 Day Overnight option: 1/2 day  (4 hours) + full day (6 hours). Includes 2 meals (breakfast and lunch 2nd day. Departure in afternoon.)

• Artist and Writer Guided Retreat Weekend. This retreat is designed with the artistic or creative temperament in mind. Focusing on Soul Care, encouragement, healing, and purpose/vocation this retreat will most refresh and invigorate those in creative fields like the arts and writing with guidance and exercises tailored specifically and personally for discovery and development. $275 (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday + snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.)

• Personalized Guided Dream Work Retreat Weekend. For those who want to discover or understand the rich world of dreaming for growth, discernment, and added personal and spiritual insights. Dreamers of all levels will benefit and see the rich history of God using dreams to connect with his people.

Reasons to Go:
•You rarely dream but want to dream more

•You want to gain a better understanding of your dreams and how God is using them to teach you

•You have trouble with nightmares and reoccurring dreams.

Learn how to generally decipher dreams, sleep better, have lucid dreams, and better understand how God really uses 1/3 of your life (the percentage of hours you sleep) to guide, heal, encourage, and transform you in a special way. Lots of fun, relaxing, and insights aplenty. $285 (includes snack Friday evening, 3 meals Saturday + snacks, 2 meals Sunday. 2pm departure.)

Spiritual Formation
Personalized (Boutique) Retreats can include introductions and guidance to simple but effective spiritual exercises and disciplines in collaboration with several modest reading assignments, journaling and discovery opportunities, scheduled time for one-to-one guidance, free time/reflection time, prayer, enjoying God’s creation, and spiritual practices that are customized to your particular needs, tradition, learning style, and temperament. It’s time to go deeper!

(These experiences also make a very thoughtful gift for someone who needs a getaway!)

Some of the Spiritual Exercises and Practices we may explore together, as you wish:

• Exploring Christian Prayer Forms (praying the hours, breath prayer, centering prayer, Jesus Prayer, praying with a visual aid, imaginative prayer, lectio divina, contemplative prayer {prayer of the heart/apophatic}, prayer walk, labyrinth prayer, and others.)

• Spiritual Disciplines (silence, meditation, self-care, study, examen, rest, spiritual-companioning, communion, journaling, confession, prayer forms, and others.)

Limited Space 
I cannot accommodate all requests for personalized retreats, so only a limited number of spots are available. Please contact through the voice mail feature, the contact-me tab, or leave a comment below to get started or inquire further.

New to Guided Retreats?
A first session to determine if co-discernment, retreat, or spiritual direction is a good fit for you at this time is completely free. (Payment plans are available if needed, and no seeker will be turned away solely on the basis of inability to pay.)

Location:
Most Retreats are held in Wernersville, PA at the Spiritual Center (as seen in the photos). Click to view campus.

Need a Retreat closer to home?
Contact me and we can discuss the location options that will fit your needs.

To learn the reasons people seek guidance in this way click here.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Upcoming Blessings!

-Lisa

(Please note that costs are set to increase in September. Reserve a Spring or Summer retreat experience soon.)

Non Retreat Setting Option
• Spiritual Guidance Session/Holy Listening/Co-Discernment 
Cost per spiritual session: 1 Hour, $30-45. (in-person or through Skype)

(click image for photo source)

Confession: I recently viewed porn. It’s not the first time.

And so have you.

Porn: noun
1 pornography.
2 television programs, books, etc., regarded as catering to a voyeuristic or obsessive interest in a specified subject.

In this case, it was clips from a primetime television show on NBC, not graphic and explicit sexual content. But, porn has much to do with lacking purity, and self-discipline. I wasn’t interested in either at the time. It doesn’t matter how graphic it was or wasn’t, I picked a path.

I know it’s a common path, so I’m starting a post series on porn, to get the topic out in the open. You’ve seen porn. Of course you have. That’s just simple statistics. The only thing in question is for how long, or how often…but far more importantly, why are you, and are you hiding it, and do you feel stuck or trapped? Well, the gig is up.

7 Reasons this porn stuff is a typical situation:
• Television/especially cable/dish/satillite

• Smart phones/phone with internet access or image viewing capabilities

• Internet…duh. It’s got to be reason # 1. (plenitude of images & privacy to do as one pleases=lack of discipline.)

• Over-Sexualized culture/media, especially in advertising

• Plentiful supply normalizes or excuses inappropriate or damaging behavior/habits.

• Video games/books/products

• Cultural Idolization of beauty, youth, virility, and social acceptance.

We’ll get into the heart of the issue, behaviorally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and find some ways to detour this path that will damage us and our relationships. We’ll help each other out, okay?

I will speak from my purview, as a women. We live in a time that is highly visual, tied to fantasy, that supplies huge amounts of voyeuristic material. It’s not something mostly “men do” (look at or participate in). Women do too.

However, I challenge you men reading to cover this topic in the next two weeks in a post or post series, or at least link to this post to support bringing this topic to light.

And ladies reading today, I challenge you to take on this topic, too, not as something that you wish guys wouldn’t do, etc., but as something that somehow effects your life somehow personally, and convicts you to somehow find a better way.

Often “Literature” and Story/Fantasy are like gateway drugs to this type of porn for women…I wrote a bit about this sort of thing in a past article, 5 Reasons I Don’t Read (Christian) Chick Books. 

Confess what trips you up.

Coming up in the next post…thoughts, feelings, and reasons you and I try the Path to Porn.

In later posts, we’ll work together to discover some resources to help and guide us: detours from the path. 

But, here’s the question for today: What particular vehicle makes porn all too accessible for you or someone in your life? Anonymous comments are always welcomed.

I snapped this photo of a white board at Evangelical Seminary on Tuesday. I think a Marriage and Family Therapy class was in before I got there.

The word unity can be used for oneness here.

Really absorb the elements of this visual. What do you notice?

It seems the path diverges at choice. Reflection and Confession can be chosen over blame. The result is restoration and forgiveness instead of isolation and brokeness.

It’s a lesson I need. It’s a lesson I have to impart to my kids.

What are Your thoughts?

Does this look like a helpless ass, to you? To be honest, it looks like me.

Today, I had an insightful time of devotional reading and prayer. I was convicted to lay my burdens down. I hadn’t properly realized how heavy my load of worries has been.

After I gave them to God to carry, I noticed how exhausting it has been to leverage them. My epiphany: I can be inadvertently as stubborn and pathetic as an overburdened ass, to the point where my load masters me.

Maybe you need to find some relief too.

There are about 20 days until Easter (Resurrection Sunday). The time is ripe to take a potent inventory of your worries, sins, and burdens. You are tired. You are more tired than you know. Don’t be stubborn, like me. Relent and give up your load.

Be encouraged–right now as you read this–to really take a two or three minutes to be aware of the weight and hardship of your current load.

For a minute, picture all of that as a huge backpack or bundle (see photo below for visual inspiration). Ask yourself: What are my burdens? Ask: Why am I carrying them so long?

Do you want relief?

female porter sherpa, mountain climbing

Accept God’s relief.

Now, put down your load. Put it all the way down. Try to stay with that visual image, and pray about it. What would you like to tell God?
What have you sensed in this short time of thinking about it?
And, what, if anything, is God prompting you to do?

Will you follow your savior up the mountain, and give up your load?

God’s strength and forgiveness is critical for us to recognize and accept. It is our saving grace. What a cathartic gift it is to lay our burdens down. Remember the joy of your salvation today.

Today’s verse for prayer reflection:
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. -Jesus, the Christ

Feel free to share your thoughts, insights, reflections, random comments, or silly observations. We’re in this together. May your day be blessed.

John 8:31-36 (New Living Translation)

³¹ Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. ³² And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”³³ “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?”

³⁴ Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. ³⁵ A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. ³⁶ So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.

Response Question: What has God freed you from?

Image via Wikipedia (confessing to another)

About 500 years ago there was this spat. At the time, having your sins forgiven was a sort of pay as you go thing. It was a bit like a toll road.

The toll booth worker was the Priest. If you bought “indulgences” the Priest could better settle up your debt with God.

Handy little business model, especially when folks hope to avoid damnation, right?

This became rather upsetting. So these Reformer types started protesting. It was not so much to split from the Church, but to transform it–at first.

Of course, men can get pretty riled up about their new fantastic ideas (ever seen that?), and before anyone realized it, a huge split…others might say a heresy or rebellion… was cemented into place in history–forever changing the landscape of Christianity.

Spiritually speaking, some good was gained (and Catholics adjusted to these grievances by the 1960s with Vatican II), but as more and more people are beginning to realizing now, some very good and important things were lost because of going this route.

So, what is the real purpose of a priest, or priest-like figure? Is it necessary? Can absolution of sin come from a man in a white collar? What about a teenager in a crew neck? Or a lady with a scarf?

Drum roll, please…..

Oh!  Wait! Before, you start gathering firewood and a sturdy stake for my conflagration, please hear me out the entire way. (Then have at it; I’d like to hear from you.)

The I Timothy 2:5 “one mediator” verse is often used to underscore that Christ alone can forgive sins and be our mediator to God. It’s true. This was the mission of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth.

But Protestants have, by the over-reactive trailblazing of the Reformers, missed quite a bit of the spiritual benefits of what Jesus’ brother James talks about:

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

What is James saying…that confession and other believers’ prayers are powerful and effective against sin? Yes.

GASP.
Okay, not a total gasp. But how does this play out? You may wonder…

This confessing to each other is not the same as be able to actually take Jesus’ place (obviously). James shows us that confession to each other works. It does something important. God wants it to be done this way.

It absolves us (because God absolves us). So, it is true that we personally experience the relief of our guilt being removed. We experience, in real terms, the agency of God’s forgiveness of our guilt. Someone is there beside us, standing in the gap for us, so we can be reconciled more thoroughly, more completely than we can experience it otherwise. It is God’s work; and we are agents of his ministry.

These confessors  to whom we confess become a flesh and blood representation of God’s love that promotes gracious forgiveness and offers wholeness. It offers us freedom from guilt (felt guilt, and feeling or thinking as if Christ‘s work is not complete). It puts flesh on our spiritual justification.

It seems we can’t handle our sin on our own too well, at all.

We are sinful, and it’s not a private matter.

Just confessing to God, and keeping our mistakes and sin to ourselves, is not the recommendation and requirement of Christ’s disciples.

The Community of God (i.e. the Church; our brothers and sisters in the Lord) plays a vital role in our spiritual growth and growth in grace. Confession ushers in that felt healing of the sin and guilt which weigh us down, and disables us.

Our sin is a rejection of community (aka The Bride of Christ) and an act of selfishness.

Our sin is a destructive thing. Socially and spiritually destructive.

Confession and absolution, (the kind you might say/declare out loud to another person) restore us at a core level. To ourselves, to God, and to community (aka The Bride of Christ).

In this way, we act not as God, but on God’s behalf. We minister.

It is simply true that he forgives us. We concur and offer social restoration, and remind the confessing one of God’s gracious work and love for us.

We minister to each other, on equal footing, and we may offer God’s grace to a brother or sister who cannot yet properly apprehend it. We can accept their confession and offer forgiveness, so we speak the Truth of God’s Kingdom into their life. We help set the captives free. (Not because God can’t do it without us, but because he wishes to use us this way.)

YES. We may say, “You have confessed, and you are forgiven. God absolves you. I, too, forgive you. Go in peace, and rest in his love.”

Please offer this to others. Ask for it on your behalf, too.

Will you comment on this topic, please? Your input is vital on this one. Thank you.

My diagram for a "System" of Purity

Our freedom allows us to make choices that determine our purity and our innocence. So, freedom always includes responsibility, and purity can be regained. It is innocence that is untried.

In the cases were guilt may plague us, we may seek healing in the spiritual discipline of life confession, and then find it our acceptance of love and forgiveness. This happens best in Community, with the support of siblings in Christ.

This is also an act of worship.

Please share you thoughts on this, or a related theme.

Or you may tackle one of the following. Thanks.

• What have been your influencers with regards to purity?

• How has the media impacted your view of purity?

• What is the biggest struggle regarding your faith and your purity?

Resource used: Pages 126-8. Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices That Transform Us (Adele Ahlberg Calhoun -IVP Books ©2005)

For further reading: “Real Sex” -Lauren Winner

OKAY-It’s possible something was lost in translation on this cosmetic.

Perhaps white or pure was translated as “virginity”. Maybe the English word “virginal” threw off the dictionary. You might have a better guess than me.

This so-called “skin-whitening” soap is supposed to make the skin inviting to touch, so it actually, um. maybe it could end virginity.

But I wonder if the idea of purity, cleansing, and ridding us of our shame is so wrapped up together, that longing for a kind of “virginity soap” isn’t all that big of a stretch.

On some level, doesn’t everyone want a second chance?

Doesn’t everyone want their sin to be “washed away”?

Do you have a memory you wish you didn’t have, or a past sin that plagues you?

Christianity has promised this same thing with “Jesus Soap” for quite a while now. But is it that simple? And, do we co-opt with the renewing power of the Holy Spirit enough to live in a “washed clean” kind of way?

The spiritual discipline of confession works a bit like “virginity soap”. It is an imperative to confess and turn away from sins. And we are told to confess to each other. It gives us a real life engagement with grace, via the willing and trusting ear of another.

Do you have a confessor to whom you can confess your shame? If not, why? Do you think it would help you?

Thanks for you thoughts on this.

Jennifer Knapp

After over a 7 year break from music, Jennifer Knapp announces the release of her new album, and reveals her same sex relationship of 7 years in an interview with Christianity Today. (full article)

What will her fans do? How will she be treated in the Christian community?

Here’s my proposal:

Let the Judgment Begin!

(on ourselves)

Ask yourself a few important things:
What in your life should you look at more deeply?

If you like to come up with decisions about people, is it to make you feel better? And what other ways could work better?

What is your hidden payoff for taking the focus off your growth to focus on someone else’s shortcomings?

Are you hospitable?

Are you welcoming?

Are you loving?

Are you gracious with the same amount of grace you’ve been given?

Could these areas improve?

Let’s get serious, and List a few ways how we could work toward our own improvement, through God’s grace.

What does speaking any ill of Jennifer Knapp do for our practice of hospitality?

Or, for our Christ-likness?

Or, for our growing in the Love of Christ?

Do Christians HAVE TO be the best at shooting our own wounded ones?

Please, I beg you, no.

Let us enter into a concerted time of Spirit-led introspection, discovery, confession (to both God and each other), repentance, accountability, and ongoing, loving discipleship–in unity.

Sometimes these types of personal revelations seem interesting or fascinating–along the lines of scandal, intrigue, and excitement. Yet, it’s dangerous to fixate with our idle curiosity on public figures, like Knapp, or the ordinary people we know. It’s distracting. It misses the lesson. It skirts the point of the Kingdom.

The truth is, men and women like Knapp are in pews, or they are afraid to be, and they are on the fringes. They feel like they have to choose between being secretive, or being pushed out of the church community. If we had Christ-like hospitality, we would know about them. We would walk *with* them, not just talk *about* them.

But more importantly, if we weren’t so concerned about Knapp, in a judgmental way, we could do the deeper, and far harder work of looking within, and allowing God to work his sanctifying agency.

I pray no one vilifies Jennifer, rejects her, or condemns her. But, I think it will happen. The temptation is just so irresistible.  Laying waste to those anything like Knapp is so common, that it hardly seems wrong to our conscience, in general. We have this corny idea of righteous indignation, to give us motivation. But guess what? It’s more irresistible to gossip under the cover of righteous indignation, and far more common than same gender attraction! If we only had righteous indignation for our own problems, first, or ever! Imagine the spiritual growth then.

I don’t think we should applaud her, or marginalize her, but rather know that her journey is neither  yours, or mine, directly. When I think of her, I think of the words Jesus said.

^Matt.9:11-12When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

BUT-Here’s the distinction. I know this verse is about me. If you don’t realize you need God, and you need help, well, you won’t get any.

Besides that, It saddened me to read that in the article with CT, Jennifer said she was not involved in a church family now. We all need community, to be our best. What could be more beneficial to her than to be surrounded and supported by brothers and sisters in the faith? She dearly loves God. She continues to sing to him, and seek him, unabashedly. Now is not the time to focus on her particular statements, though. We have greater work to do. It’s the kind where personal change is truly possible–the kind within ourselves.

Let us love one another, for everyone who does not love, does not know God.

I have a confession to make.

ambition while missing the point

In about 2 weeks, this blog site will be a year old. In the last 5-6 months, I’ve been trying pretty hard to write interesting, helpful, or entertaining stuff for this place, almost every single day. I’ve made fantastic contacts, great new friends, and I’ve had a good time doing it.

This is hard to admit, but, I have to confess, that I’ve been blogging mostly to build a larger reading audience. A little while ago my agent told me that I stood a good chance to have my material published, but the biggest obstacle was “lack of platform.” Lack of platform sort of means, not too many care who you are, or what you do. A successful blog can change that, and help a writer build this much-needed platform. I know there’s nothing shameful about writing a blog and hoping others read it, but my remorse at this moment is that I realize I have made it my means to an end. I’ve been holding so tight to this idea that I can generate a solid readership base to, as Pedro says, “make all my wildest dreams come true,” that I didn’t realize I was putting it before the whole point, which is to share myself and my God with others. In a real sense, I’ve thought of this blog as a vehicle to “get me somewhere,” and I’ve made it an idol. Sometimes I have said to myself, “Well, it’s really both, a vehicle and my ministry.” This may be true, and I hope things work out like this, but if my priorities or motivations shift weight, things get off balance. And they have been.

I stopped long enough for God to speak to my heart, and in my spirit, it seems “he” said, “Let it go.” I got a little panicky at first. “Completely? What? Huh? What ‘chu talkin’ ’bout Willis…er, Father in Heaven?”

Then it seemed like God nudged me, and “said,” “Don’t be such an extremist.” This threw in off a little. So, I sort of looked around sheepishly for a little, almost looking for an exit, but without trying to be obvious about it. It seems like God “said,” “You’re clutching. Stop it. Just write and stop thinking about the rest. It’s none of your business.”

This bothered me. I felt out of control. Of course, it was a false assumption that I really have control like I was thinking I had. But, then I thought about what that might feel like…to hand things over… and I tried to “put that skin on.” Even just putting it on halfway felt SO nice. Relaxing. Like the pressure was off, and leaving the room, like a smog lifting. So, I stopped that exercise midway, I took a deep breath and I yielded. I took my sweaty feet off the pedals and coasted. I waited. And nothing happened. Nothing, for better or for worse, but I felt much better.

I wanted to tell you about it, because I know I haven’t been thinking the right way. I know that has to change, and I’m turning my heart the other way. I may post less often, but maybe there will be more true joy and inspiration when I do.

I do hope many are blessed by this blog, and resources, but I’m not going to transpose the priorities anymore, if I can help it, (with God’s grace). This will happen on a heart level, and it might not even be apparent to you, but I hope that my honesty will not only encourage you to look carefully at your own priorities, and goals, but also be a way to ensure that I stay congruent to my core convictions and values, in the way and nature of my God.

It’s hard to make confessions because, sometimes, it makes you feel really weak, stupid, or like some kind of a scum bag. It’s risky. The temptation to keep on a mask, and act like things are all pulled together, can be a strong influencer. Even though it feels embarrassing, it’s still the only way to move forward, and toward shalom (well-being/peace). I’m trying to be brave.

Thoughts… comments?

I blogged at lisadelay.blogspot.com about the British Secretary getting smacked with custard pie. Maybe he’s the one who has something to confess. (?)

Each friday I’m opening up a “confession booth” – It’s good for the soul.

There is something deeply freeing about casting your secrets or your burdens away through the act of confession. It is a practice sometimes scorned, perhaps because it has been misunderstood, made trite, or undervalued. But, with the right reflection, it may be a powerful way to gain perspective, and renewal, or just blow off some steam.

Feel free to be anonymous, (or reveal yourself) and leave a confession of any sort.

I’ll start: Today, I purposefully listened to my van stereo (close to) full blast for quite a while. It was enough to frighten people.

There is something about confessing  that renews us. It purges us. We really are suppose to do it. It’s not just because authorities or the Bible say so. I think it’s because (also) as a part of human nature we want and need to be rid of things that hurt us, and begin a process of recreation.

A new service allows for secret confessions. SecretTweet This may help people free their consciences a bit, and some leave very odd things. The trouble though with secret confessions is that there isn’t too much hope for healing and restoration in the support of community. We aren’t meant to go it alone.

If there’s anything you’d like to confess. I invite you to do it here. It can be ANYTHING. From the serious, to the silly. Feel free. And you can make up a name, if you’d like.

I’ll start.

I bawled my eyes out yesterday in spiritual direction (which was done in “real play” in front of classmates, yes awkward and nerve-wracking at times, and other times comforting). It was because I realized I felt that God had “hurt my feelings” and I was angry with “him”. It ended in the embrace of God. Strangely enough…In a visualization, (prayer with a visual imagination) he came and sat with me, and played jacks with me, of all things. It was so unexpected and kind. I told him my hurts, and he sweetly stroked my hair. I wanted to hug him, so I did, and he hugged me back. It was warm and big. And my hurts melted. He took out the ugly ball of hurt from my heart and tossed it over his shoulder, so it would not ruin me any more. It was a powerful experience, which I haven’t had before. I felt vulnerable, even silly, at times. But, in the end, I was glad I confessed these feelings, even as I am now doing now.

For a silly (non serious) confession-I worn my hair in pigtails today, in the privacy of my home.