Tag: Food

Halloween Night: A Christian Spiritual Practice?

Porch Party 2011
We have a rather long side porch. On trick-or-treat night, we fixed it up in creepy fashion. I stuffed pants and shirts and placed them on chairs to look like scarecrows. Plastic spiders, snakes, and mice were peppered near candy bowls. Votive candles and illuminated pumpkins lit the way. We used the internet to stream in 50s-60s themed music (Think Monster Mash and the rest). Out in the back, our fire pit made a toasty atmosphere on a chilly night; and coffee, warm cider, and cookies added to the warmth, on a few levels.

The most fun was meeting new neighbors, re-connecting with known neighbors, and talking with them. I realized that there isn’t another “holiday” like this one. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter usually involve travel, plenty of food prep, and a different schedule for school or work. Not Halloween. What other time do you have dozens of neighbors interacting with you on your property…at night? It’s a unique night. It’s an opportunity.

Our visitors and friends loved the decor and seemed touched by the effort. Can I say there was joy? Can I say that, for this sort of thing? Well, there was.

I had more time this year, so I sort of “caught the bug” and went all-out. I don’t think is was the Halloween spirit either. It was the Christmas one, arriving early…like department store merchandise. And in the middle of all that good cheer, I wondered, why don’t communities, groups, or Christians team up more often create a safe, fun, and loving atmosphere for these kids and families that come to visit every year? That’s a wasted opportunity, is it not?

I learned some other amazing things:

1. When you prepare to love on people, they “get it”. (Open appreciation: Everyone wore smiles, and said thank you–a lot! It was a delight to just be giving. I got more than I gave. Seriously.)

2. Being welcoming doesn’t take much money. (I was planning to buy candy for trick-or-treaters anyway. I used things I already had to decorate, and my neighbor joined in–donating decor, and cookies.) Pretty cool, huh?

3. My kids love to host and create community. In this way, they learn compassion and kindness. All on their own, they handed out treats, informed visitors of our “amenities”, interacted with the children, and helped people find their way around. How else would I have gotten to see this?

4. It’s only 2 hours. While some parties can linger, and take lot of food prep time, have logistic issues, trick-or-treat night is a specified time with a fairly easy menu. Most people make the time for it, somehow. For our neighborhood, it lasts from 6-8p.m. It’s not too hard to get some extra things ready to make it a more memorable and a special time for visitors.

5. It shines a light in the darkness. Times are tough, and there a lot of bad news and bad things happening in the world. It’s nice to give people something good. I find it totally ironic that this could or should be best served on Halloween. But why not? No day can shut out God’s Light and Love. (This also gives new meaning to the phrase “Take Back the Night”, yeah?)

Here’s some important background information
As a kid, raised in a very conservative (i.e. fundamentalist) Christian home, and my parents believed that going out for candy in costume on or near October 31st was colluding with the Devil. “It’s Satan’s Day,” I used to hear. Strangely enough, for all our protesting of it, the (unintentional) focus was more on Halloween and evil, than it was for any typical trick-or-treater. Now, that’s whack. Sometimes our efforts to be “righteous” (or whatever) have the opposite intended consequences. It seems we had it all backwards. Reinvention is key. Hospitality can happen any day or day. Take back the night with grace and love, or at least some goodwill to men!

Is Halloween a Christian Holiday?
Well, I’ll be honest and say I had no plans to hand out tracts, or influence a conversion experience on my porch. I wasn’t sharing verses or inviting people to my church. But, it was a rather blessed time. If anyone got the message that we made a spot for them in our week, then we accomplished a lot. Maybe a lot more than the typical church (which can feel like a club) can do most nights of the week.

I don’t think I’ve had the chance to touch so many lives in such a short time, as I did on that nigh. And to borrow Eric Liddell’s phrasing (think of the ancient “Chariots of Fire” film), “I feel God’s pleasure.” Parents and kids alike remember who was kind and who had a fun place to visit. And that, my friends, is shining a light. (The short answer is just, “Yes,Halloween is a Christian Spiritual practice–now“.)

Have you ever done this sort of thing for Halloween night? If not, give it a try. You can make some effort to spread more love and good cheer on this night too. If you do, let me know how it went.

Here are some photos of our night:

Blogs I Like

(Must be a dog blog. hum. Could this just be a kitty laughing, or must it be a freak out?)

In a previous post, I promised I would review some blogs and give a report on my favorites.

First, bear in mind that I read probably 20-30 blogs regularly, and others occasionally. For this reason, I won’t cover all of the ones I like, today. Now, don’t feel offended if yours, or one you dig, didn’t make it in. Instead, submit links of up to 3 of your favorite blogs in the comments, and we’ll visit them. I’ll consider them in a future “Blogs I Like” blog in January.

Also, I won’t cover blogs from super well-known people (think: kickin’ Alexa Rating), especially if I’ve already mentioned them in past posts.

Here are some new blogs I’ve started reading quite recently because of reader recommendations, or other connections:

Students of Jesus: Taking the Yoke of Discipleship Ray Hollenbach’s blog has a rich meditative vibe. Good content and thoughtful.

Teh=The Warwick Fuller is a bookish, 25% hipster, and an active dad and husband, who pens some worthwhile stuff. He’s fairly random with his topics, but I’m a fan. I also have a personal preference for his “Nana Stories” which are offbeat and charming.

Between the Sheets: A Novelist’s Adventures Heather Webb’s blog post are often delicious. Although I wish she posted more often, when she does she will often include amazing recipes.

Telling Stories Courtney Walsh is a scrappy author and scrapbooker whose site is awash in great visuals (photos, art, etc.), plus stories, and stuff on food, parenting, domestic diva/homemaking themes, rural life, and such. Likable!

Mom to 5: Full Time Mom, Part Time Sanity Sherri Jason has a great sense of humor, and she needs to, she’s be pregnant for years (if you add it all up). This reproductive quality is sort of a family tradition. Her sister Ginny also has 5 kids, and does guest posts on some Fridays, called Funny Farm Fridays. The antics of busy family life abound here, and many a busy parent can relate, or just be contented to know they don’t and won’t have enough children for a basketball team.

Awake My Soul Laura Crosby’s blog is insightful, honest, and nicely written. It’s a fairly recent venture (Feb 2011), but her welcome page made me realize that we’ve had the same sorts of thoughts about bloggers and blogging. So far, so good, Laura!

5 Personal Favorites:
Blogs and Bloggers for whom I make time to read…who are also not in the category of  “widely famed”…yet.

These authors post with predictability (most of the time) and have high quality content. Two musts for me to be a loyalist. (Yes, the list ought to be much longer, but I’m setting myself a limit…5….because I’m told this is healthy behavior.)

Ed Cyzewski Blog – In a Mirror Dimly is one of those blogs that is just consistently top notch. Ed posts frequently, and his installments can deepen your thinking, encourage you, and offer great insights. He focuses on spiritual things, practical theology, and writing. He’ll also write on other things he likes, gardening/canning, the outdoors, and rabbits.

Caleb Wilde‘s blog Confessions of a Funeral Director: Working At the Crossroads of This World and the Next might sound, well…dark and morbid, at first blush. Death is after all macabre. What is surprising and winsome about this blog is that Caleb offers hope, as a matter of course. His unique insights on living and yes, dying, are worth the read.

Christopher Cocca: Chris is funny, quirky, and interesting–all stuff I like. He’s sort of a hippie, too, in a nice way. This makes me feel young and “with it”. I’m hooked. Another great thing about Chris is that he’s generous, and regularly shares the love by promoting other writers.

Thom Turner Writer, editor (for GENERATE magazine), poet, and soulful guy, Thom has a blog called Everyday Liturgy. It’s a perfect read for a short and potent spiritual shot in your day. Lately he’s also been blogging about Food and Christian ethics. A weird mix, you say? Maybe, but it gets you thinking. And think you should. (sorry..got a wee bit yoda on ya’ll) I’m looking forward to Thom’s prayer book project as well.

Brett McCracken This hipster-esque writer is under-rated. Though he’s written for some big outfits The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, CNN.com, The Princeton Theological Review, Mediascape, Books & Culture, and Christianity Today, to name a few, plus a very enjoyable book…

…I get the sense that he’s not receiving the props or reader traffic he truly deserves at his Still Searching blog. It’s like a “best kept secret” type of thing. Well, not on my watch, peoples. Not. On. My. Watch. Brett writes about culture, film, art, books, and stuff you’d expect to overhear at a college coffeehouse, if erudite students were hanging out…ya know, chillaxin’ and sh–tuff (Whoops, no one says chillaxin‘. It’s long “over,” dudes.) So. Right. Brett is pensive and interesting.

Who did I miss?

What Parents of Disabled Children Wish You Knew (Part II)

Doing Church

Did you know that Church and Relationship are synonyms?

This Thursday was the second week in a row that we had a friend come to play with Nathan. Michael is a year ahead of Nathan at his school. Michael, too, has autism and its noticeable in different and similar ways (more on that some other time). He’s an only child, and making friends is tough. It’s not natural for him, but the opportunities are few as well. Together, we’re changing that.

Having him and his mom here felt like ‘doing church’ in the most wonderful of ways. Their visit warmed my heart. “Church,” in this case, means that it’s the first time in much too long where I could tell that I, no we, were living life together. We were enjoying a deeper connection and community in a natural way. In ways we all hope for when we go to church. It feels like coming home with supper waiting for you. It consists of acceptance, warts, and joys, and all. The common was somehow sacred this Thursday.

My hope it that Michael always knows he’s fully accepted and valued here. He is. I’ve made a kind of internal vow for our home to be a safe and loving place for him to be himself. He’s picked up on that. If his mom’s work schedule allows they’ll be over again this Thursday. He says, “We have a meeting.”

I’ll try to put up some video soon, because the way these two boys interact is so hilarious and sweet, and I know you’ll love it.

Make Your Home “church”
Here are some tips, if you’d like to make your home a welcoming environment for a child with autism, so a visit is something to look forward to and enjoy. (Share this information with your children.)

• Structure. Don’t expect that a child visiting will just play. Or do well if there are toys and game around. For kids, with autism anyway, most must learn simple social skills and interactions and adapt through practice. It’s really awkward at first for them. But, it gets figured out through process. You might want to create something, cook something, or play a short game, all together. Doing something with a beginning, middle, and end will add sense to the visit for them. A free play or open-ended style of interactions won’t lend to a high quality visit.

• Time limit. When Michael visits, he likes to stay for 60-75 minutes. He tells us when he wants to go. This is great, but not all kids will know when enough is enough. This can be hard on everyone involved. Plan the get-together with a defined time frame–from the outset. I suggest 45 mites to start (this depends on the child. 30 minutes for a young child might be better). Later you can move to up to 90 minutes. But play for over 2 hours, or trying for an open ended meet up can be counter-productive. A defined time slot things end on a high note, and it’s fairly easy to prepare for the visit.

• Provide goodies. Ahead of time, ask if there are food preferences or allergy issues, and then make sure to offer a snack and beverage. Food is powerful. Use it wisely.

• Ask Questions. Make an effort to interact personally a few times. Ask a “yes” or “no” question, or an “either/or” question, and indicate your interest and acceptance right away, and along the way. Don’t expect anything, just do it. If it falls flat, try again in a little bit. Be Patient. Children are more like gardens than firecrackers. (So cultivate, rather than expect a dazzling display from a brief “matching”.)

• Issues of Eye Contact and Touch We take these social things for granted and generally know what is acceptable with others, and when and where eye contact and touch it is acceptable. Many disabled children do not. They may kiss you all of a sudden, or never even glance at you. Don’t expect them to make eye contact, and don’t try to touch them unless it seems very obvious that they wouldn’t mind. (Realize that for some kids, it feels painful to be touched. Yes, painful. Same goes for eye contact.) That being said, once I’ve built trust, I find kids really appreciate and respond well to a hand on the shoulder or back, or light pressure/touch on the arm, and they warm up to me very quickly. Since sometimes others are afraid to touch them (because they’ve seen big reactions), or because they don’t have friends they interact with closely, they are sort of touch-starved. Acceptable and respectful touch will establish trust. It’s surprising.

• Notice Stuff. Maybe mention that they look good in red, they are wearing cool shoes, or that they’re getting big and strong. See them. Then, say something to let them know. This shows them that they matter to you. Make concrete comments (facts) to them, about them. It gives them a sense of personhood, or place…at the table, if you will.

• Talk to the parents. This might seem obvious, but I’m always surprised at how much the parents of disabled children feel relieved to interact and relax with conversation and company. Encourage this. They don’t often get to “feel human” because of all the stress that goes along with caring for their child. (They’re “going” or “on” all the time. It’s exhausting.)

• Follow Up. Plan ahead for the next time, soon. Set up something that day, or within a week, to have another time together. If we don’t do this, it falls off our radar. Use a pen and mark the calendar. Consistency is key.

Are you “doing church” with anyone? Why or why not?

Verse of Reflection: 

Matthew 25:44-45 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’

“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’

Questions, comments, suggestions?

5 Things of Autumn

We made candied apples yesterday.

Harvest verse:

Psalm 126:5-6
Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

The olden hymn Bringing in the Sheaves they say was based on this verse. It seem like on Little House on Prairie if the scene was within the church walls, this is the song they’d be singing. But was it harvest time? Dunno.

Autumn
The cooler weather has made me take the mental plunge into Autumn, and I have receipts to prove it…more on that in another post.

5 Things that are on my mind, now that it’s Autumn

1. Apples. Baked, fixed, and eaten in many assorted ways. Wednesday I made applesauce, and today we made candied apples. Apple Dumpling are next. Plus there’s pies, cobbler, etc.)

2. Sweaters (and sweatshirts) cozy stuff. I love ’em. This is, until it’s even too cold for them, then I’m distracted and moody with chill, and I wear my bathrobe over my clothes all day, and doubled socks.

3. Pumpkins Love to carve them, light ’em up, and eat the many culinary pumpkin delights of the season.

4. The Sound of Crisp Leaves. I love crunching through leaves, and that smell of fall that goes with it. mmm.

5. Football. Sunday afternoons: snacks, coffee, and the Steelers.

(There. I’m stopping at 5.)

Now! What 5 Things do you think of with the coming of Autumn?

Lemonade ¢25. Rewards? Priceless.

lemonade stand

Today, my kids made almost $20. Lemonade and Cookies for sale, only ¢25 each.

Okay, I chipped in for the ingredients, and helped them set up, absolutely free, but you get the idea.

The day started off rainy. Not a good day for a lemonade stand. The odds were against them. But, ya know, when a little kid offers you fresh lemonade for a quarter, how do you refuse? I was surprised that some did, but was gladdened that those folks were greatly out-numbered by other types.

First, a friend allowed the kids to set up shop at her business, in a high traffic area. In business, don’t they say something like, “Location. Location. Location.”?

Maybe that’s with real estate.

After that move, even the sprinkles didn’t slow down the customers. Probably more than 80% who walked by, melted visably when they saw the kids with their stand.

The kids really didn’t make (almost) $20. People were generous. They gave a $1, got their cookie and beverage, and said, “Keep the change.” Some gave money to them just because they were there. I parked nearby, but I let the kids do their own business. Attract customers, offer their products, and count the change. I saw how people put in extra effort to support them. It warmed my heart.

There is something very special about being enterprising. There is needed dignity that comes for people when they can make one’s own money, or find their own way, somehow. And yes, generosity makes a big difference too.

Have you been generous enough, lately?

I have this feeling, the same thing is true with spiritual growth, as well. When it comes to spiritual things, do we try to save people the experience of struggle? Growth can take work, and be painful, do we rescue the novices, or give them easy answers? (Pat answers do really help, and they can arrest deeper thinking.) Or do we allow space for mystery, doubt, or the unknown to shape them too.

Can we let pauses in conversation or questions happen, or do we try to fill it up with our “wisdom”? It reminds me of the weird nervous laughter habit people get into sometimes, when they don’t know what to do. They laugh in some odd way, that gets distracting, in its own right.

Do we cuddle or spoon feed, when trying and making a mess will be more helpful; not in the short run, but in the long run.

What are your thoughts?