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5 Questions you have to answer before you can be a success.

It’s crazy!

4 times this week I’ve been approached for my brain!

I’ve heard things like, “You’ve done a great job strategizing and promoting so-in-so, and I don’t know what I’m doing. I’d like to ________ (be a published author, sell my ebook, get speaking gigs, create a following, etc.)”

So I thought maybe instead of giving the info out time and again I could create a post with strategy tips to get you started if you fall into that category, too.

If you’re a musician, expert, artist, writer, speaker or whatever…it’s harder than ever to get noticed and build a following of those who will want what you have to offer.

It’s the problem of TOO MANY OPTIONS. (It’s paralyzing)

Most publishers, for instance, won’t even look at your stuff without an agent. They have cut their staffs and gone with sure-bets, like celebrities who hire ghostwriters. (I’m contractually obligated to avoid specifics on that bit.) But, you know what ? Agents want sure-bets too. You’re stuck researching and writing endless proposals to prove you are a good bet that just get rejected after all the hard work most of the time.

It’s even worse if you don’t know your way around a blog, promotion, social media, or ways to integrate what you are doing with the right people. You get stalled!

In the end, making something great is only half the battle.

You have to execute. As Seth Godin says, “You have to ship.”

I’ve found that great “crafts-people” (think good at a certain field: experts, academics, talented artists, experts, artisan, inventors, writers, signers, etc) often lack in the area of marketing themselves well and creating connections that pay off. They do something great, but don’t have the lateral thinking prowess outside their niche to know how to get it sold or stake their claim in their field.

As one person put it, “I’m an academic. I stay in my study and write and hope someone magically wants to read it.”

Well, that won’t work, of course. Others have to know about you to realize that you are amazing.

It’s hard to be good at both craft and marketing / connecting, but those are the people who really make it. Or the people who make it know how to delegate properly for what they aren’t expert in. That’s a KEY point. (Keep that nugget. it’s free.) :) You just can’t do it all.

Here’s the hopeful part!

Even if your aren’t a celebrity or infamous or have someone huge to vouch for you to land a deal, there is a lot you can do to generate buzz, especial if you can mobilize your fans/audience that already trust you. It the wilderness route, but with a little bit of $ and lots of hard work (a.k.a. “bootstrapping”) it can make a dent.

Through bootstrapping and almost no money I get 100,000 visitors. That’s nice and all, but it’s not as fun as helping others realize their goals and dreams.

So, I want to help. This below is some of what I’ve been telling other people as they get started.

Get a piece of paper! (seriously)

If you have something you want to share and make a name for yourself, or you want to start getting compensated for your goods, services, or talents be prepared to answer these questions specifically:

(yes, on paper or in a digital document, right now)

1. Who is your audience and how many people would buy the book (or service or product) from you *right now*?

2. What is your budget for marketing and promotion? (This of course will determine how much can be done.) You shouldn’t go forward if you can’t spend $500 – 1,000 to get the ball rolling. If you don’t have the money, you should save and do a bunch of leg work first on your own. Again, with the bootstrapping.

(This means you have to put what you love to do on hold, or hire out help.)

3. What are you doing already to promote what you have, if anything (website? Facebook page or group? speaking? workshops? readings at the library? church groups? MOPS? social media accounts? gathering an email list of fans?) (Be able to show what, if anything is already being done so it can be can ramped it up, or started if it hasn’t been.)

And what could you do, if you started? (write it down)

4. What connections do you have or people do you know who would help you get the word out? colleagues? teachers? librarians? leaders? church folks? groups, camps, and clubs? anyone famous or well connected (like to Focus on the Family, for example? ) People in tv, radio, bloggers, local newspapers, or journalists and writers to feature you?

5. What can you offer for free to build trust and gain a following?

That’s it!

…But, sometimes it’s overwhelming! If you’ve haven’t thought to ask these questions, you fall into the category of craft-person more that of “marketer” or “promotion and communications guru”…and that’s fine, but you’ll need help.

I can help. Contact me!

When & How to ask a question in class

If you’re a student or a teacher it’s nice to have a quick primer for the classroom environment.

Teaching styles and applications vary (and should vary) to accommodate the variety of learning styles and to improve retention.

A group environment where sharing is invited doesn’t and shouldn’t stay in the format need for some instruction.

But, when a lecture format occurs…some guidelines can help students and teachers alike.

By pure chance I landed on this…. (tell me what you think!) Click image enlarge.

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Halloween Night: A Christian Spiritual Practice?

Porch Party 2011
We have a rather long side porch. On trick-or-treat night, we fixed it up in creepy fashion. I stuffed pants and shirts and placed them on chairs to look like scarecrows. Plastic spiders, snakes, and mice were peppered near candy bowls. Votive candles and illuminated pumpkins lit the way. We used the internet to stream in 50s-60s themed music (Think Monster Mash and the rest). Out in the back, our fire pit made a toasty atmosphere on a chilly night; and coffee, warm cider, and cookies added to the warmth, on a few levels.

The most fun was meeting new neighbors, re-connecting with known neighbors, and talking with them. I realized that there isn’t another “holiday” like this one. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter usually involve travel, plenty of food prep, and a different schedule for school or work. Not Halloween. What other time do you have dozens of neighbors interacting with you on your property…at night? It’s a unique night. It’s an opportunity.

Our visitors and friends loved the decor and seemed touched by the effort. Can I say there was joy? Can I say that, for this sort of thing? Well, there was.

I had more time this year, so I sort of “caught the bug” and went all-out. I don’t think is was the Halloween spirit either. It was the Christmas one, arriving early…like department store merchandise. And in the middle of all that good cheer, I wondered, why don’t communities, groups, or Christians team up more often create a safe, fun, and loving atmosphere for these kids and families that come to visit every year? That’s a wasted opportunity, is it not?

I learned some other amazing things:

1. When you prepare to love on people, they “get it”. (Open appreciation: Everyone wore smiles, and said thank you–a lot! It was a delight to just be giving. I got more than I gave. Seriously.)

2. Being welcoming doesn’t take much money. (I was planning to buy candy for trick-or-treaters anyway. I used things I already had to decorate, and my neighbor joined in–donating decor, and cookies.) Pretty cool, huh?

3. My kids love to host and create community. In this way, they learn compassion and kindness. All on their own, they handed out treats, informed visitors of our “amenities”, interacted with the children, and helped people find their way around. How else would I have gotten to see this?

4. It’s only 2 hours. While some parties can linger, and take lot of food prep time, have logistic issues, trick-or-treat night is a specified time with a fairly easy menu. Most people make the time for it, somehow. For our neighborhood, it lasts from 6-8p.m. It’s not too hard to get some extra things ready to make it a more memorable and a special time for visitors.

5. It shines a light in the darkness. Times are tough, and there a lot of bad news and bad things happening in the world. It’s nice to give people something good. I find it totally ironic that this could or should be best served on Halloween. But why not? No day can shut out God’s Light and Love. (This also gives new meaning to the phrase “Take Back the Night”, yeah?)

Here’s some important background information
As a kid, raised in a very conservative (i.e. fundamentalist) Christian home, and my parents believed that going out for candy in costume on or near October 31st was colluding with the Devil. “It’s Satan’s Day,” I used to hear. Strangely enough, for all our protesting of it, the (unintentional) focus was more on Halloween and evil, than it was for any typical trick-or-treater. Now, that’s whack. Sometimes our efforts to be “righteous” (or whatever) have the opposite intended consequences. It seems we had it all backwards. Reinvention is key. Hospitality can happen any day or day. Take back the night with grace and love, or at least some goodwill to men!

Is Halloween a Christian Holiday?
Well, I’ll be honest and say I had no plans to hand out tracts, or influence a conversion experience on my porch. I wasn’t sharing verses or inviting people to my church. But, it was a rather blessed time. If anyone got the message that we made a spot for them in our week, then we accomplished a lot. Maybe a lot more than the typical church (which can feel like a club) can do most nights of the week.

I don’t think I’ve had the chance to touch so many lives in such a short time, as I did on that nigh. And to borrow Eric Liddell’s phrasing (think of the ancient “Chariots of Fire” film), “I feel God’s pleasure.” Parents and kids alike remember who was kind and who had a fun place to visit. And that, my friends, is shining a light. (The short answer is just, “Yes,Halloween is a Christian Spiritual practice–now“.)

Have you ever done this sort of thing for Halloween night? If not, give it a try. You can make some effort to spread more love and good cheer on this night too. If you do, let me know how it went.

Here are some photos of our night:

Weird Santa Photo Week. Day 3 (old school)

Things were so innocent and sweet in the old days…um. no. Santa wouldn’t put up with any nonsense. As shown here, back in the day, if you weren’t good, Santa would bag you at Christmas, water board you, and you’d never be seen again.

Tell us what you think!

bagging kid — "You've been naughty." Elves were kidnapped kids?

Shame and wanting to poking out your own eye

There’s a feeling you can get, after you’ve done something horrible. It’s so bad, that you might consider poking your own eye out (if for nothing else than a viable distraction.)

My first job (besides babysitting) was as a hostess at Eat’n Park Family Restaurant. A woman about 10 years older transferred there. She had been a waitress for a long time (even a decorated one. Yes, Eat’n Park is special like that.) She also had the name “Lisa,” just like me. That’s about all the ingredients needed for good communication and lasting friendship, right? um. No.

Background:

Sometimes I’d goof off and crack jokes in passing with Lisa. No big deal. (If you know me, this is all highly typical behavior.)

WELL-

One day, like a stoke of non genius, it came into my head to wisecrack when I noticed Lisa had a blue pen scribble on her forearm. I noticed it was actually a very sloppily rendered mark of her own name. The “L” was super long on the bottom, and not in a cursive way. It was just odd. It struck me as humorous. I already knew she had a 4 year old daughter. Her little girl had probably been playing with her waitressing pen and wrote out her mom’s name all by herself. Or maybe Lisa had done it–for a joke, or because she was bored. So, feeling my comic Einstein vibe coming on me (which is inversely proportionate to my rational thought and good judgment), I said–rather flippantly, I might ad–“Hey, what’s that on your arm? Is that so you don’t forget your name?”

Sudden. Dead. Powerful stare.

Awkward pause. I could hear a spider near the salad bar blink.

Then I noticed she had a sort of sad “How could you, you freaking jerk?” look on her tired face. (I picked up on that because I’m really good at feeling people out!)

It was a tattoo.

A horrible one.

A mistake.

Perhaps a drunk boyfriend or trashed stepdad scrawled it there. Who knows. But whatever the story was, it was part of a painful past. A past she did not want thrown in her face by some stupid and insensitive quip from a dumb teenager.

My heart froze with panic. It’s the kind of panic where you start to smell yourself. A cold sweat mustache erupts on your lip usually, too

Would she stab me with a steak knife?

Plan to burn me “accidentally” with a scrod entrée platter? (Wicked hot, they are!)

I fumbled around, and got out, “um… hahah… I’m just kidding.” I was trying desperately to appear nonchalant. I considered whistling a tune to prove it.

Still, she just looked at me–steadily.

“I’m sorry,” I said, getting up the nerve. It felt like a blanket of shame washed over me. Self-loathing–all over the place.

She shook it off, and went back to work. From then on I tried to be extraordinary nice to her, in every way I could think of. I bused her tables, and got her refreshing beverages, and tried to be as pleasant, and positive as I could. She didn’t hold it against me, beyond a day or so.

Once, after a 10p.m.-5 a.m. shift when my dad failed to pick me up, she even drove me home in her weary beater of a car.

I still wonder about her.

It was poke-your-eye-out shame.

I’ll never forget it.

Have you ever had “inner death by shame”? (you can just answer yes or no, unless you want to be brave and tell your story)