Sarcasm is Useless…yeah, right!

I’m back.

Have you missed me?

 

I’m getting to the last half of the humor series I started a few weeks back! (see the bottom of the page for the other entires)!

Today I am exploring sarcasm.Screen Shot 2014-11-06 at 10.28.47 AM

 (part 1)

This took a lot of research because I had so little understanding of sarcasm and I’ve heard it so infrequently.

That was like stretching before a jog.

You limber and ready? Let’s do this!

We take humorous sarcasm for granted because it’s so plentiful in the modern culture milieu. This is, in fact, a recent cultural development, and one the entertainment industry has much to be thankful for.

Sarcasm is actually a rather complex use of a language:

 

In using sarcasm we must convey the opposite of what we are saying.

 

This happens best by using enough vocal intonations, body language, and other hints to communicate true intent. (The less exaggeration done, the more of a butt hole you seem.)

Sidenote:
For those with language or cognitive impairments, like autism, sarcasm may be routinely misunderstood. My son’s–who has autism and learning disabilities–now has a budding understanding of sarcasm at age 14. My daughter caught on at age 3. By using more exaggeration to convey the real meaning in my use of sarcasm, I introduced him to a common use of communication. I know you’re thinking… “PARENT OF THE YEAR!”…but, yes, this was not without its problems. 

His accomplishment was a milestone of development that will start to serve him well if he expects to be treated as a mainstreamed person. Nevertheless, the use of sarcastic comments in our home tends to be unnoticed by him and taken in lateral, face-value terms. We try to keep a reign on it in our home to avoid needless problems of miscommunication.

This was, at first, a bitter disappointment to me, having come from a caustic childhood environment where sarcastic mockery was more plentiful than supper leftovers. Alas, it was a call to greater maturity as well as development of alternative modes of mirth-making. For me, baby steps.

 

6 Things to note about the use of sarcasm:

1. Unlike many other expressions of humor, sarcasm always has a point and means to activate or thwart something. It also proves useless (or frustrating) if the hearer fails to understand the actual pointed meaning. Tip: That’s how to foil it. Just act oblivious. Easy-peasy. 

2. Invariably, It is used to point out the supposed superiority of one person (or group) over another.
That’s, right…..Busted!

3. It is considered genuinely humorous only when one can duly side with the practitioner of it, and not be the object of the sarcasm/ridicule. The rare exception being when the practitioner has the master skills to appear convincingly benign to everyone involved–which few do convincingly. Groans, eye rolling, harbored resentment, passive aggression, or revenge plots indicate failure on this part.

4. The word sarcasm comes to us from the mid 16th century in the French word sarcasme. Isn’t it hard to believe that of all people and language groups on the planet that it would be the French at the source of the word?

I wonder what the source of the the word “snooty” is….

(Find out and let me know!)

Right now, I feel I should point out that “DeLay” is my married name.

The French word sarcasme was originally from late Latin, from late Greek sarkasmos. In Greek, it is sarkazein and means to ‘tear flesh,’ (lovely!). In late Greek it meant ‘gnash the teeth, speak bitterly’ (think: sneer). And like the languages from whence it came, sarcasm is often noted to be too little, too late and, of course, carnivorous.

5. The frequent use of sarcasm creates a negative, cynical, and often toxic atmosphere and state of mind. And it’s just plain old douchey (pardon my French).

6. In the classical (Greek) world, “humor” was primarily conducted as sarcasm and practiced by the upper class (who were few) to degrade and condescend the lower, poorer classes (who were many). I’m assuming that in contrast, the poorer classes, as is typical, found burping, farts, and shit jokes funny (pardon my French).

This class issue is why the use of humor was denounced by Plato and other early philosophers (who were–mind you–literate, educated, and upper class. They saw it as counter-productive and without virtue. The noble, high class aim is to be good. And of course, farting was not at all funny to Plato, ever. Not once.)

In the Republic (388e), Plato says that the guardians of the state should avoid laughter, “for ordinarily when one abandons himself to violent laughter, his condition provokes a violent reaction.”

I’m not sure if he meant riots or just getting punched in the eye.

And now, I will leave you with this story…

 

A linguists professor instructs his class saying,

 

“Sarcasm is a poor use of language, crass and unsophisticated, and serves absolutely no sensible point.”

 

To which a student in the back replies, “Yeah, right!”


 

Sarcasm is, most often, poison humor meant to somehow injure or to thwart.

It works like a kind of tool and inflicts a kind of violence. As with all weapons, prudence and moderation will be the best course…in case all of this is getting past you. ;)

It goes without saying that, sometimes, violence is the point, so then it boils down to determining what kind of person you want to be most of the time.


 

Your assignment is to write something sarcastic in the comments section to prove you understood this post, or instead… if your conscious is lashing you, count and report the number of times sarcasm was used in the post. 


Sarcasm tends to be misunderstood in written form. This includes, letters, emails, texts, and sky writing. The internet is replete with sarcasm misunderstood….so in

PART 2 I’ll go over how the Secret Service is considering using software to detect sarcasm online. Crazy but true.


 

PREVIOUS ARTICLES IN THE SERIES:

1. The primacy of humor

2. Step 1: Tickle Rats (the science and study of humor)

3. It’s not just timing, it’s specific knowledge

4. On how subversive humor works

 

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Something about a Labyrinth and Surprises

jclab

This time the weather was the coldest I’ve ever experienced in Wernersville. Until now, my times of retreat at the Spiritual Retreat Center were during Spring or Summer.

Stripped of leaves, color, and warm weather, the place seems monochromatic outdoors, but is still restful and precious to me. There are many prayer room options, a beautiful chapel, plus rooms for things like creating art, music, reading, or for meeting with others. Each place seems to wait for your arrival. Anyone can go there for the day without notice. I love that about it. That’s true hospitality. You are always received and welcome. You don’t need to be Catholic either. God is there in a special way and it’s a sacred place created solely for the purpose of divine communion and renewal. To me, that sounds just like Heaven.

Unless you get run over by a jet-powered lawn mower, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

The Center has recently added a prayer labyrinth (shown above). Many people aren’t familiar with labyrinths–their purpose or their gifts. They create the opportunity for reflection and spiritual awareness. Some (Evangelical) Christians bristle at the copious statues, candles, prayer mazes, and other unfamiliarities about a Catholic environment. I suppose I’m post-Evangelical: the richness of the Christian history and the solidifying sense of the sacred draws me toward the transcendent in a place like this. Every time in an unexpected way.

That’s what happens when you go there. You find God. You find God at the center. The center of you…in your core where he’s always been, because he’s everywhere-present and boundless in love. He’s been whispering things of love to you and smiling but you thought it was just bad pizza leftovers or something you made up to make yourself feel better.

Life is like a puzzle. A labyrinth is a puzzle. It’s a tool too. You can study a labyrinth before you walk the path through it, but while you are walking through studying it can make it far more confusing. Usually, you stop being stupid and cease trying to decipher the pattern precisely and just follow it like a child might do. This way, a labyrinth can be a lovely stilling and spiritual experience, not because of its own woo woo mystical powers (it doesn’t have that), but because it invites a traveller to concentrate and focus–to place her steps carefully. Most importantly, it forces one to slow down.

We don’t realize how fast our thoughts buzz until we get these sorts of opportunities to be careful. If you walk a labyrinth things mentally wind down and simplify to, “Stay on the path. Follow this narrow way. Pay attention.” Some enjoy walking very slowly and praying as their heart grows hushed.

Searching for the puzzle
I saw a photo of this newly constructed prayer walk inside the Center and I started to search for it outside. It was actually in plain sight but I hadn’t been looking for it, so I didn’t see it. (In case you haven’t figured it out by now, this true story doubles as an allegory.)

When I spotted it, a man driving a zero turn radius lawn mower was zipping and roaring around it, back and forth; expertly, but fast enough for me to wonder about his judgement. Crisp leaves shot into the air and the wind whipped them into little showers of bullets.

“That won’t work,” I said. “What am I suppose do? Have a peaceful prayer time as Zippy here shoots me with leaves and the mower engine drives me to distraction?” I crossed past the paved puzzle a small stretch to a gazebo with park benches set in a circle.

It was still noisy there, but the mower sounded duller. I would wait him out. I tried to settle my mind. Maybe I could do some warm-up praying. No. My thoughts swam. “Who’s Zippy now?” I thought.

Instead of waiting, I went on a short walk in the wood nearby over a little ridge. The path looked to have been crudely bulldozed recently and massive tree parts and 4 inch thick vines were crammed in piles. It was other-worldly–so many thickets covering whole sections like umbrellas, even though most of their foliage was missing. Surreal yellow leaves on the ground seemed day-glow bright. I felt like a zombie putting one foot in front of the other as I made my way around the wet earth and wild terrain. The humming mower served as a beacon to orient me. It was comforting and ironic.

Then a church bell snapped me back. It chimed 11, and I recalled how church bells were auditory calls to prayer and attention. It felt like a call to go home…to something. I immediately wanted to get my bag from the gazebo and look at the church more carefully in a peaceful and maybe prayerful environment. I managed a shortcut straight up a bank after a brief bout with prickly plants. I got my things and trekked toward the church. When I got there, guess who was on the grounds too? Zippy, or some other diligent lawn guardian, was tooling around the church grounds. The noise was worse now because it was bouncing off the stone structure and echoing off the parking lot asphalt.

I decided to double back and sit on a bench near a garden path that featured the Stations of the Cross. (If you’re wondering about the Stations of the Cross, visit again soon, because I’ll be detailing that in a future post.) I munched on some snacks, journaled a few things, prayed some (kinda-sorta), and enjoyed a few sunbeams that momentarily bested the clouds. It felt nice to be there, but, then I started to feel really cold. My nose had a ice cube quality and the sun had ditched me.

I headed toward the large main building. An ancient woman was being rolled toward the main entrance in a wheelchair. Rather than getting in their way, I decided to walk through the covered colonnade and flank out to the door on the right. I passed the prayer garden on my left. It was filled with statues, fountains, and newly manicured hedges and remembered how pretty it had been in full bloom that Spring. It was much warmer then too. I was getting colder by the second. But, then I got to the door–relief.

Except that it was locked. The metal handle sent a shiver to my backbone straight through my arm. But, “No matter,” I said to myself. I’ll just continue around the building and try the next door just around the corner. There are probably no fewer than 25 exit doors to the place. I’ve exited a number of them and try to find a new one to some surprise new part of the grounds whenever possible. It’s all part of the fun.

No. Locked too. Things were getting interesting.

It turns out that there’s just one way into the place. There are plenty of ways to exit outdoors, but the main entrance is referenced on each locked door. I came to this realization by the 5th door. I’m not sure if the cold was my dulling my mind or if I was too distracted laughing to myself. I had just realized I was literally following a footpath around the structure. It wasn’t just  a path but a puzzle. I could have turned back and saved myself a lengthy walk, but I thought, “Oh! Okay God, this is the labyrinth you wanted me to take.”

Then out loud I said, “Stop being so funny.” At that exact moment, a black helicopter hummed overhead and I briefly thought the things were going to end in waterboarding or an unpleasant government website experience and arbitrary fees. Maybe, I was on the psycho path. I pushed my icy hands into my coat pockets, stopped trying to open locked doors, and made my way counter-clockwise to the main entrance–the long way around. This was probably the intended journey in the first place so I might learn something. I was starting to pay attention. Finally.

No, it wasn’t the labyrinth I set out to do. It wasn’t the one I picked to walk or the one studied as I walked by with Zippy swinging his mower wildly nearby, but eventually it would get me inside if I kept going around and circled the place.

As I got most of the way around the complex I could smell lunch cooking from the kitchen. “The kitchen help probably don’t have to go through the main entrance,” I thought. (It was my first useful notion all day.)

Sure enough: I spotted an inconspicuous point of entry, sheltered with an overhang and a coffee can full of sand and cigarette butts sitting outside the door. Maybe it would be open. It was. As I pull the door a blast of warmness greeted me and behind it the smell of comfort food. I was back. I had almost gone full circle, but I had an insiders’ access point to put things to rights.

Just before I left the place for home I took my friend–who had carpooled with me there that morning–to see the new prayer puzzle up close. I walked through slowly but it wasn’t prayerfully. The symbolism had already done its job. I was just canvasing the design and saying my goodbyes. I got to the center of the circle and I knew I was ready to leave for home.

I did a little spin with my arms out because I think if it was a movie that’s what would have happened right at the point, and then I stepped straight through the center to get back out.

The surprise is that you don’t get to ever really pick your own labyrinth. It is picked for you. You can decide how to walk it and how meaningful it will be. You can be frustrated by it and worry about the turns or you can slow down, put one foot after the other, and get to the center. Then you’ll be home.

# # #

 

“The Tyranny of the Left Brain”: Thoughts from Len Sweet

wholebrain
(click photo to enlarge)

As promised, I’m writing a bit more to summarize the fascinating Leonard Sweet event at Evangelical Seminary this week. (Here’s the first one in the series.)

Dr Sweet had some interesting things to say about the legacy and effect of the Protestant Reformation which he calls “The 2nd Wave of Christianity”.

Wave 1: Catholicism (which is still growing in the global East and South).
Wave 2: Protestantism (which is in decline everywhere in the world and got its start by saying “no”.) It seems there is a shelf life to this version of Christianity. More on that in a second.
Wave 3: Pentecostalism (which is flourishing in the global East and South. Other Christian traditions are being influenced by its effect too.)

Sweet says that Pentecostalism is considered something other than Protestantism because it more fully integrates the Third Person of the Trinity (the Spirit) and perceives God as active and engaged in everyday life unlike previous versions of Christianity have done. He said that we in the West are slow to realize this seismic shift because we’ve been focused on Liberation Theology. L.T. accounted for the poor and was in essence created for the poor, but the poor didn’t pick it; instead they picked Pentecostalism.

In the West, we are in a post-Christian era. The “big-box churches” have put an end to most of the “mom & pop” churches, but mainly a reshuffling of Christians is occurring–not an increase of new devotees to Christianity. Sweet mentioned that on the West coast in the U.S. things have moved beyond simply disparaging Christians to open hostility. This promises to be the norm throughout U.S. culture, he says.

Why the “shelf-life” for Protestantism?
Protestantism was birthed just as a technological revolution hit. The moveable type of the Gutenberg printing press was one such breakthrough and Protesters of Catholicism used this technology along with their reforming ideas and desire to make the Bible available for everyone to create a major shift in how Christianity was practiced. According to Sweet, no invention was more anti-social and individualistic than the mass-produced book (you take a book and go off by yourself and absorb it). It seems, no worldview had been so individualistic until that time either (my note).

What happened soon because of that shift was the over-emphasis on the left-brain. “The Tyranny of the Left Brain”

And my what a power it’s had!
What was left behind? Mainly the arts, story using image, memories, relationships, emotional expression and recognition, intuition, creativity and a “whole person” view of Christian (body+mind+spirit).

What was favored? Reasoning, thinking, dissecting, apologetics/critical thinking, and textual language. Sometimes the right brain qualities weren’t just ignored, sometimes they were even despised. Whole sects of Christians took down art and have kept places of worship plain and non visual (More on left and right brain here). Logical left brain thinkers are often thought of as smarter even in our culture today, but it is the right side of the brain were some of the most meaningful things occur. And the combination of the hemispheres in balance makes us most fully alive.

We need both sides of our brain to be fully human.

Now something bigger than Gutenberg as come along: Google. All the information of the world is there for the taking, and the visual is back! Story is back again (and this is the format Jesus used too.) Word-heavy presentations are on the decline as many marketers have already noticed the shift and accounted for it (see ad below). Now we have interconnection of the internet and it’s been supercharged more recently by a new technological revolution even more significant than the internet: social media. (Apparently without Facebook the revolutions and movement toward democracy in the Middle East and in other important parts of the world wouldn’t have happened. So, yeah, it’s a big deal because it makes news and ideas travel so quickly.)

 

Social Media promises something we’ve been missing out on the interconnectedness. But, it cannot deliver fully on it’s promise, because face-to-face relationships are so transforming and vital. The internet and social media start to give us what we as humans crave, but a formidable wall persists that only the messiness of in-person interaction offers.

The shift is here and people are looking for a more holistic (whole) way of perceiving the world. Narratives, metaphors, image, story, and emotion are rushing back into the forefront and the it’s not a trend. It’s the new way the world works.

Future post: In the next post I’ll wrap up and focus on the “power of image” which includes metaphor, symbolism, and the affective powers of the brain and mind. Does Protestantism have a fighting chance?

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See how the narrative doesn’t need words much anymore?

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Michael Hyatt says he features the “Best Leaders” (Men)

Note to Readers. As you read this keep in mind I’ve been reading Michael Hyatt’s blog since 2007 and I still really enjoy it. (UPDATE – I stopped reading MH’s blog regularly a few months after writing this) Please read all of this in the spirit of grace and mutual understanding all of it is meant to be wrapped in. I have to ask the questions, but I want amiable solutions.

UPDATE as of July 11, 2013

Michael Hyatt continues to change his blog for the better. More women leaders are visible now (which wasn’t true almost at all since 2007!) and the site has come a long way since I started prodding for a more appropriate and equitable Platform for the Michael Hyatt brand a few short weeks ago.

What I think will also happen is that you will never hear about me and this incident as something he took into consideration. You will never hear him say any of this happened. He will continue to look wise and fair.

He unfollowed me Twitter and to him, I’m probably not a good leader. But, I wasn’t looking for a permission slip to make sure the right thing could happen.

UPDATE as of JULY 2
I’m happy to report that I just checked and Michael Hyatt has adjusted his homepage. Now the videos featured in the sidebar do include some women. VICTORY!

UPDATE as of JUNE 26

Joy Groblebe (claiming the title of Michael Hyatt’s manager) has weighed in below in the comments section saying Hyatt is a poor example of bias. Yet, he still does not have women featured in his video leader interviews See what you think! Is she right?

UPDATE as of JUNE 25!

The post you are about to read was written last week, published in a limited sneak-peak form, and announced on Twitter and Facebook at that point. Though Michael Hyatt has too seldom featured women, yesterday Michael Hyatt did feature his longtime friend, Michele Cushatt (maybe he read the preview of the post you will read below…I’m not sure. But, great timing I must say.). You can read her article here. (It’s about females experiencing rejection. Irony.)

I found out about this surprise and rare post through this personal note from Hyatt on Twitter this morning:

FROM: @MichaelHyatt mentioned “@lisadelay The irony of this is that @MicheleCushatt was featured on my blog yesterday: http://t.co/c560ZMQiBJ”

JUNE 25

He didn’t see the irony… :)
The article is on REJECTION. Someting women leaders and speakers may be experiencing a lot with not just Hyatt (until recently), but also with publishers in general, as Michael explained in his Twitter posts. At this point, the vast majority of Hyatt’s blog guest posts are by men. Will it maintain the status quo of white male domination in leadership expertise? Time will tell if Intentional Leadership will evolve as a Brand that way. I have every hope it will grow more diverse and vital.

# # #

Background: This Spring (2013) I posted this (excerpt):

I’ve noticed something. Not too many male leaders list women authors, leaders, and thinkers in their blogrolls or refer to them in posts. You don’t see that women influence them. What about Christian male leaders? It seems twice as bad.

Michael Hyatt’s “Intentional Leadership” blog is a favorite of mine. I LOVE it. But have you noticed that not one video on his homepage sidebar features a female leader? Does he even realize the omission? Should he maybe be more intentional on this part….I think yes! Read the whole post here.

# # #

FINALLY- the post you’ve been reading this for.
POST WRITTEN JUNE 17.

What I didn’t get to do after that Spring post was follow up. I didn’t get to share Michael Hyatt’s direct correspondence with me that day. It’s far more interesting and surprising that I imagined it would be, and not for any of the reasons I expected.

Here’s that:

hyattbest1

So why don’t females pitch to him? Isn’t that the bigger and more important question? Should we look into that maybe?

Then I asked him if he felt he was hearing from a balance of leadership voices, and here’s his reply:

hyattbest2

I had presumed that Mr Hyatt would give my observation some thought. Maybe he would mention the need to assess he might have a blind spot.

Could there be an unconscious oversight? Were there ways to improve? But, he inadvertently offered up more than he may have realized. His comments only strengthened my contention that a gap, a regrettable gap, exists between men and women in leadership and visibility on his blog, website, but also across the board. This only gained momentum when he continued and mentioned the world of publishing. (see below. The older post is positioned on the bottom and is a continuation of his comment posted above.)

hyatt3

So by his admission the publishing industry  (his experience as the CEO of Thomas Nelson is a Christian outfit) has a massive blind spot.

This is not a surprise, but certainly a disappointment. What are leaders like Hyatt doing to turn the tide if the gap is this vast?

I soon realized the aforementioned blind spots would stay largely “in shadow” that day, but it wasn’t a total loss. Hyatt did show a desire for improvement. [UPDATE – in subsequent blog posts he wrote about Blind Spots -though never did he mention this incident-perhaps it was a blind spot too.]

choward

My exchange with Hyatt is long over and I wish him well. But, I have wonder: Has he for too long wasted his opportunity to his influence how we hear from leaders? Isn’t this the blindness that success and privilege creates?

I’ll let you decide.

APPENDIX:
Others weighed in during our Twitter conversation and things stayed interesting for most of the day, that Spring. Here are just two examples:

bias

howard

Yes, Hyatt has every right to feature only those he pleases, but mentioning that he doesn’t hear from women at the same time as mentioning that he only features “the best” seems deleterious.

Through his leadership we are left to wonder: Are “the Best” really predominantly male? or is Hyatt actually gleaning from a skewed pool?

Nah.

More importantly, does he realize it and will things change “on his watch”? I don’t think both his claims can be true unless he holds a disparaging  view of women in leadership.

And, mind you, I don’t believe he does. I think it’s a genuine blind spot from a well-intentioned male leader (with the current #1 blog on Leadership) who hasn’t quite comprehended or addressed the light-skinned, male privilege he is privy to.

Sometimes a cautionary tale gives us a great lesson. We should learn from this:

None of us are immune to blind spots of our particular privilege.

We must be diligent agents of progress and positive change. That’s my own hope and the reason I have decided to continue the conversation today. The more of us who ask the tough questions of the powerful and prod for the answers and the transformation needed, the better off we will all be. Won’t you join me? To help, Leave a comment or share this post.

SO! Who are the “BEST VOICES”?

In truth, we don’t hear from the “best voices” by doing a google search and poking around. They don’t get pitched to us by the establishment. The “best voices” may not turn up or asked to be heard. Sometimes because it’s too noisy and sometimes it’s because they assume they are not wanted. The stats do not favor minorities (women, the poor, the physically or mentally disabled, the marginalized, and people with darker skin tones), they favor the already powerful.

This means that if you indeed want to have “the best” you must make extra efforts to find and hear from those who don’t have an equal shot. You have to work much harder at it, plain and simple.

As leaders we should admit this. To continue the conversation online please use the hashtag #bestleaders and others can follow the digital footprint and continue onward in the pursuit of improvement

These hard-to-find voices have plenty to offer even if they don’t quite have the following as of yet. The stats don’t make the leader, the character and efficacy does. I think we can all agree there.

In the next post, I’ll talk about the subtle ways language reenforces privilege, especially in the poor opinions and myths perpetuated about women–often unintentionally. It’s sobering. However, I’m skewering the topic not with a pitchfork but a rubber chicken. The point, and my point, isn’t to make enemies, it’s to start the conversation and act as a change agent.

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