EPS 26: When Childhood Suffering is Transfigured into a Thriving Life

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xo

~Lisa


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INTRO TO THE EPS 26:

Melissa Wilson didn’t just survive mistreatment as a child, she worked to heal from it, redeem it, and establish a platform to help sufferers and advocate for those who are suffering now or wounded from the past.

Melissa converses with me about how she found healing and the joy of transforming her pain into a thriving website and podcast that shares stories of victory, triumph, and overcoming great odds.

Don’t let your past define you. Here are some ways you can move forward and even find a valuable mission in life.

MelissaWilson


SHOWNOTES with links

(These are approximate times in this audio broadcast.)

MIN 1:30

The Grass Gets Greener is Melissa’s project that has and continues to redeem and heal her past.

How did she begin to sense this path of helping and advocating for others?

2:00

Getting therapy and then being able to think about helping others.

10:00

How forgiveness played a huge part in the process of getting to a point of thriving and peace.

“If someone’s hurt us we forgiven for ourselves and not for the person who caused the pain.

13:20

The aspect of the continual forgiveness process.

15:00

Every story of surviving is important.

17:00

What helped her most in the process of healing and the first barrier that stood in her way was stigma.

18:00

The crisis event that sparked clarity to get therapy to heal.

20:00

How talking it out helped her and gave her confidence, and she even spent some time traveling in Europe alone.

22:00

How she developed social anxiety problems and then came to overcome them.

23:00

Post-Traumatic Stress symptoms and high adrenaline responses.

23:30

Finding a safe place and an outside perspective to find space from the trauma and grow in self-awareness.

25:00

The impact on relationships, trust, and bonding.

28:00

Rebounding and developing good friendship and meeting her now-husband as she got well.

31:00

On deciding what to make public.

33:00

Becoming who you really are and meeting new people at that point.

33:30

We attract people who are healthier because we are healthier.

34:00

“You have to connect with people who aren’t going to try to hurt you and who are going support you.”

35:30

Creating a family of choice, the core people who will help you be most well.

36:00

Connecting unawares with people who remind you of old pain.

36:30

You are most vulnerable on the road to recovery.

37:20

Feed your mind with the right stuff that’s going to inspire and motivate you and shift your mindset and body.

Here are resources that helped Melissa.


How-To Start and End your day well (VIDEO REPLAY!)

Enjoy this LIVE STREAM replay I did on Periscope.

(Library of my LIVE STREAMS)

LIVESTREAMritual

The first one I did was awful so I had to delete it. I’m still learning this streaming stuff and the camera works was an “F-“. My how screwing up keeps me humble! I have so many chances each day.

Enjoy this resource. It’s a great way to start Autumn with greater awareness, gratitude, and transformation!

 

 

Episode 9 – Wine: moderation vs. medication (The famous HALT method)

Shownotes:
Spark My Muse
Episode 9 – Wine: moderation vs. medication (The famous HALT method)

 

This is a surprise “mid-week” episode. This show normally goes live each Wednesday. Episode 10 and 11 are longer special interview episodes.

Episode 10 (airing May 27th) Emily Miller writer and journalist for the Chicago Sun-Times and Relevant Magazine

Episode 11 (airing June 3rd) Daniel J. Lewis prolific creator of an entire network of podcast programs, including nationally-awarded shows on how to podcast, comedy, and the #1 rating discussion show for ABC’s series “Once Upon a Time”.

Check back for those!


This episode was brought to you by “The Daily Sharpening Ritual”–The perfect way to supercharge and renew personal awareness in your life.
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Wine segment

How much wine is considered “drinking in moderation”?

Rule of thumb: 2, 5oz glasses per day is moderate drinking, and no more than one drink per hour, or four drinks per occasion (like an all-day event like a picnic or wedding)

But if it’s hard to go a day without drinking wine (or wanting to), rethinking your relationship with wine is needed.

The show details some physical repercussions of over-consuming wine, and a practical way to build mindfulness.

• If you unsure that your consumption is healthy, jot down the feelings behind the desire to consume wine so it doesn’t master you.

• Wine can too-quickly be used to medicate ourselves, and this hurts our Souls. Be mindful. :)
(“Soul” meaning what it does in Hebrew: our whole-self, mental, spiritual, creative, relational, etc)


Sparking your muse

Featuring the book by Brennan Manning called, “The Wisdom of Tenderness”.

Explaining “the HALT method” for decision-making:

Brennan Manning died last year, and he is probably best known for writing the Ragamuffin Gospel. He accumulated a lot of wisdom through life, but it didn’t come cheap. Poor choices, wrong turns, and hard lessons molded him, eventually, into a person of great compassion and grace–a sage for the poor in spirit and those smart enough to listen. Many sought him out for his wisdom.

When Manning came into recovery as an alcoholic he learned a buzzword from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). AA folks use it as a method and smart tool to create greater awareness in those vulnerable to slipping back into alcohol abuse.

• They stay on the lookout for four qualities that make them susceptible to relapse and are encouraged to seek help when they identify them occurring in their life. Before they take a sip they look for the signs and call for backup.

halt

If H.A.L.T., then halt.

Regular internal check for these:

H – Hungry (not just for food, but a longing in general)

A – Angry (or stressed, or frustrated)

L – Lonely (or rejected, or left out, feeling alone in the world)

T – Tired (often tired from helping others or being otherwise overcommitted)

We all need to cultivate an awareness of our vulnerabilities to avoid a slide into poor choices, creative slumps, or dangerous behavior.

Sometimes we don’t even realize our feelings while we are having them or how we are trying to soothe our selves.

Let’s develop the awareness to halt and take an internal inventory or seek help when we get run down, over-extended, or when we find ourselves feeling in some way hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

 It is awareness which is at the heart of any ingenious creative pursuit, meaningful transformation or spiritual growth.


 

NEW next week (May 27)…A great interview with my friend, Emily Miller (writer and journalist for the Chicago Sun-Times and regular contributor to Relevant Magazine).

JUNE 3rd, comes an interview with expert creative, Daniel J. Lewis!

 

Please take part in this anonymous 30-second listener-survey so I can continue to produce the show.

Spark My Muse

A Useful Diagram of Contemplative Practices

Contemplative Practices can be some of the most life-giving and nourishing things we can do (“do” is not the best word for it, of course. ha!)

I found this graphic you see here at onbeing.org.

It includes a number of practices from different religions to show examples of each branch. The roots represent the two may intentions of the contemplative practices found worldwide: Communication and connection; and awareness. Both are essential for transformation and progressing in maturity.

The main branches include:

  • Activist
  • Relational
  • Movement
  • Ritual/Cyclical
  • Stillness
  • Generative
  • Creative

Your specific tradition may include examples for each branch. For me, plenty was lacking in what I knew of my tradition in its modern form. It wasn’t until I dug a lot further into history and the whole spectrum of practice, did I see the depth therein and find new opportunities to enrich my soul and increase my felt connection to God and others.

If you’re searching for something in your daily spiritual practices and want to add a new sort of richness, see what you can add from a branch you haven’t climbed yet.

( Photo by Carrie Bergman + design by Maia Duerr)

treeofpractices-withlabels

Before trouble comes “H.A.L.T” (on awareness)

I’m reading the book by Brennan Manning called, “The Wisdom of Tenderness”.

Here is a gem I read today on page 107 and that I found really potent.

Brennan Manning died last year, and he is probably best known for writing the Ragamuffin Gospel. He accumulated a lot of wisdom through life, but it didn’t come cheap. Poor choices, wrong turns, and hard lessons molded him into a person of great compassion and grace–a sage for the poor in spirit and those smart enough to listen. Many sought him out for his wisdom.

When Manning came into recovery as an alcoholic he learned a buzzword from AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). They use it as a way to create greater awareness in a person who is vulnerable to slipping back into alcohol abuse.

• They stay on the lookout for four qualities that make them susceptible to relapse and are encouraged to seek help when they identify them occurring in their life. Before they take a sip they look for the signs and call for backup.

halt

H.A.L.T.

H – Hungry (not just for food, but a longing in general)

A – Angry (or stressed, or frustrated)

L – Lonely (or rejected, or left out)

T – Tired (often tired from helping others or being otherwise overcommitted)

People in AA have to rely on each other to find support and avoid the demon booze. People in AA need to cultivate an awareness of their vulnerabilities to avoid a slide into dangerous, even life-threatening, behavior. But, don’t we all need help in the same sorts of ways? We engage in all sorts of bad habits from over eating, to binge tv watching, trolling on Facebook, eating a pint of ice cream out of the box, to watching or reading licentious content, to pill popping....or whatever…it’s probably very different for each person.

Sometimes we don’t even realize our feelings or how we are trying to soothe our selves.

Let’s develop the awareness to halt and seek help when we get run down, over-extended, or when we find ourselves feeling in some way hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. It can be the escape route from trouble, bad choices. It is awareness at the heart of any meaningful transformation or spiritual growth.

Will you be able to know to H.A.L.T. before trouble?

I’ll post other tidbits as I find them. Enjoy the book for yourself if you can. You can get it used for pocket change.