You Don’t Wear Pants

click for photo source
click for photo source

(The best part about Teresa’s article to me? The various mentions of not wearing pants. It’s just always funny.)

Teresa Shourds writes a very funny blog and I love how she handles this review which could have been awkward seeing as she is not fond of dogs. gulp.

Can a non-“dog person” enjoy the book I wrote with Doug Jackson? Read on and see!

EXCERPT:

Doug asked if I would take a gander and review, you know since I’m a fellow writer and all.

Specifically, he thought it would be an interesting perspective “coming from a person who is ahem – less than enthusiastic about dogs (per a recent blog)”. I’m assuming he means this blog.

He’s right.

I’m not a dog person, or an animal person really.

I don’t torture them. I’ve learned over the years to add that clarification because once you’ve acknowledged counter cultural feelings concerning pets – people go to dark places… immediately.

I’ll watch your cat sleeping on great dane video – once.

Past that – I’m out. I don’t like messiness, germ-i-ness, destruction or poop.

I have no affinity for the idea of Spot roaming freely throughout the house taking liberties with shoes, table legs, rugs and the trash in the bathroom. I really don’t want you sitting on my furniture – YOU HAVE NO PANTS ON. Plus I’m pretty sure you drank out of the toilet. Oh, and please stop licking my leg…
I saw what you licked prior.

READ THE REST!

SOON! Renew, Refine! (and spot a Secret Promo Code)

29 DAYS!

That’s all the time that’s left until a retreat I’m really excited to be a part of!

The Renew and Refine Retreat for Writers is a very special weekend that mixes fellowship, community, expert writing insights, and an enriching spiritual experience. Ed Cyzewski and Kristin Tennant have put their heads together to create something important and lovely that will give you perspective and space to find refreshment and inspiration unlike any typical writing conference can. Let’s face it, you need this!

Whether you’re a seasoned writer who’d like some sacred space to learn, grow, and rejuvenate, or you are a part-time or aspiring writer who’d like to pursue a deeper calling, meet other writers, and hear from seasoned pros, this retreat will be a boon!

I’m personally extra excited that the beauty of nature, time for laughter, relationship building, super yummy, specially-cooked family style meals, and time for personal reflection or solitude is built-in from the onset. Some have even called this the retreat keeps the introvert in mind! (But I assure you extroverts, like me, will love it too.)

Breathe a sigh of relief! Instead, of just getting bombarded with great info or squeezing in networking between workshop breaks, this time (May 24-26) will have space built-in for you to connect, learn, and enjoy relaxation and times of quiet too. Heaven? Maybe.

We’ll be at the Trinity Lodge. An interior picture is shown here…Looks cozy, huh?

tri

 

If you’d like to save $25, see if you can spot the secret promo code word in this blog. I left some clues.

(Psst. If you figure it out, you can share it.) See you soon!

Sign up or learn more about the weekend here!

(Oh, one more thing! Did you already sign up to go? Or do want some extra awesome?

If you spot promo code and you are the first share it on Twitter with the hashtag #RRforwriters I’ll have a special care package for you when I see you there, May 24th.)

Protected: Discernment Series: The Good Work of Weeds

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Find the Surprise!

Cracker Jack
Creative Commons License Photo Credit: Bruce Denis via Compfight

As a kid I loved cracker jacks. It wasn’t for the coated popcorn, it was for the experience of finding a surprise. I hunted down the peanuts and the toy surprise straightaway. My hands would get sticky scrounging toward the bottom of the box, but it was worth the effort–even if the humidity made the box soft and the popcorn a untied front against me. The real jackpot was when I scored some water-based sailor tattoos. An anchor or a heart that read “mom” and had an arrow shot through it.

Inspiration and Creativity have a lot to do with finding the “toy inside the moment”. Locating the surprise. We get lazy about this sometimes. We stop looking. Don’t we?

Here are 5 ways to disrupt the ordinary to find the surprise at the bottom of the box you’re in right now.

1. Eagle’s eye – worm’s eye.
What did this look like from somewhere else? Change your perspective, maybe even your actual physical perspective. If you still can’t tell, ask around.

2. Kiddie Ride it.
How might a child approach the situation in terms of curiosity, wonder, or even naiveté? You’re familiarity with your situation may be too stifling to find surprises. A breakthrough can come when we treasure hunt for wonder. And by the way, cynicism kills wonder.

3. Stew it.
Have you noticed how some things come to their fullest potential after they mull or stew for a while? This applies to more than food. Try a slow cooker  approach: First write down your concerns and obstacles, and then fully set aside your situation or dilemma for 2 or 3 days. Give your unconscious mind time to simmer on things. Rest, work on something new, and absorb beauty in art or nature. Then, encounter your situation again nice and fresh. Jot out your new ideas before you get out your list, and then you’ll uncover some surprises. It’s like shaking the box to get the goodies to shift.

4. Play
When was the last time you were lost in joy? Let yourself really enjoy something for the fun of it without worry. Something simple, like when you were young and carefree. Cease the day and suck the marrow out of life. It could be the mental break you truly need to find the primo surprise.

5. Shhh
Are you pulled in a bunch of different directions? Media, relationships, obligations, work, projects, and commitments can make finding the good surprises all but impossible. Unplug. Turn down the “life noise” for several uninterrupted hours. You’ll start to feel human again, and that’s important. You can’t discover surprises in a mosh pit atmosphere, right?

What was the last thing that surprised you in a good way?

9/11; and the Interview & Confessions of a Funeral Director…

 

View my 3 Part video interview with Caleb here.

 

The 10th Anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy a week from this Sunday. We will once again see images and recount the horrors of that day, and try in memorial to accept the reality of this world. Most of us don’t encounter death and our own mortality too often. Most of us don’t constantly see suffering, and witness grief and loss.

Please take some time today, or this weekend to remember that the events of 9/11 still bring pain to many. Loved ones are missed, and we can’t gloss over the national tragedy that left a collective hole in our hearts, even ten years later.

This seems a fitting time to discuss an author who is very acquainted with death. It’s his job to be, and his perspective can be very helpful to us. As promised a couple of weeks earlier, the following is my personal interview with blogger and upcoming author Caleb Wilde, a 6th generation Funeral Director, seminary student, husband, and expectant adoptive dad.

My Questions for Caleb:

 

1. Being a 6th generation funeral director, you have quite a unique vantage point on life, loss, and mortality. How do you think you live life differently than other Christians because of where God has placed you?

 

Caleb: In traditional religious calendars, the day in-between “Good Friday” and “Easter” is called “Holy Saturday”.  “Holy Saturday” is the day the disciples’ hopes and beliefs were engulfed in death and silence, as they viewed their Messiah’s death without the knowledge of the resurrection.

In some sense, I live the life of Holy Saturday.

As funeral directors, we’re paid by families to be a human shield to death, whereby we make death somewhat easier, less real and more proper.  As this human shield, I’m affected.  I’m affected by the brokenness, by the grief, by the hopelessness I see in faces, by the newly fatherless/motherless children, the tragic deaths and the accidents.

All this has made my personal faith more sensitive to questions of God’s goodness and justice.  It’s not easy for me to understand ideas of “eternal hell”, or ideas of “meticulous divine providence” or even “absolute foreknowledge” or “omnipotence”.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m still a Christian.

 

2. What do people misunderstand most about your work?

Caleb: We’re a lot like pastors.  Our jobs are really quite similar, except that one is recognized as “ministry” while the other is “business.”  That’s probably the largest misconception … there’s no way funeral directors can meet with grieving families through the most difficult time of their lives and come out on the other side as “business people.”

Everything else is true, though … we are dark and we are odd people.

In ancient times, death practitioners were ostracized from normal society by rule.  Today, we’re partly ostracized from the norm of society by practice.

 

3. The constant stream of customers (people dying, and their families burying them) can make one grow numb or cold toward the concept and process of death and burial. Do things still surprise you or impact you? What kind of things?

Caleb: There’s something so unnatural about death that (save the very old) it’s difficult to become numb.

 

4. You’ve probably thought about what you’d want your own funeral to look and sound like. Can you tell us about that?

 

Caleb: About two years ago, I started taking one minute video clips of myself, so that by the time I’m 70, I should have a montage of age progression videos that can be used for my funeral.

I’ve also talked about recording a message from myself to my family and friends that could be shown at my funeral as the eulogy.  But, by the time I’m ready to die, I figure they’ll have holographic projections, so I’ll wait for that tech until I record my final goodbye.

 

5. The saddest funeral I ever went to was for a 13 year old boy who took his own life. What have you learned about people during the time of more tragic circumstances that you’ve been a part of?

 

Caleb: Funerals/death are a perfect storm: you have death, the inheritance money, high emotions and family you might not like too much who are around you all the time.

Funerals intensify people’s real character.  You see the best in people and you see the worst.  The bad people will do horrendous things at funerals, like start fights, curse out their family members over money.  And you can see Jesus in the good ones.

 

6. Do you find your work mostly depressing, hopeful, profound, mundane, etc.? Would you recommend this vantage point to others?

 

Caleb: It’s a tough ministry that has little boundaries.  Many funeral homes are also generational, so many of us work with our dads, grandfathers, uncles and cousins, which can make this at-need work that much more difficult to set up healthy boundaries.

Similar to any ministry, I think there should be a passion for death work … a calling of sorts, whereby you know this is what you’re supposed to do.  And being a “calling”, few have witnessed this vantage point.

It’s unique.

 

7. Do you want to stay in the family business? Why or why not?

Caleb: Next question : )

 

8. Tell us a bit about how you view suffering, pain, and death from your unique perspective…which probably has a lot to do with the message in your book.

 

Caleb: I’ve built my understanding of God around suffering, pain and death.  It’s a local theology.  And my understanding of God, suffering, pain and death in light of my faith is the content of my upcoming book, “Confessions of a Funeral Director.”  Hopefully, it will be out in less than a year.  You can get an idea of how death has affected my view of God at my blog, www.calebwilde.com.  My book, though, will contain much more narrative than my blog.

 

9. What’s your best idea for a Smart Phone app.?

 

Caleb: I live near Lancaster County (PA), home of the Amish and Mennonites, so there’s a lot of intermarrying in these parts.  Not to mention, most of the towns in the rural areas of Pennsylvania have families that have lived there for centuries, so many of them are related.

I have an idea to partner with Ancestry.com and create an app the lets you bump smart phones with another person and it will tell you how you’re related to them.  My theory is that this will greatly help the evolution of humans by creating a purer gene pool.   The apps name is “Bump it before you Hump it”.

 THANK YOU, Caleb, and best wishes on your book. I’m really excited to get a copy. 

The working title for Caleb’s book is Confessions of  Funeral Director. A bit more on that here.

So, my reader friends, what are you curious about? Ask Caleb your deep, dark, or even silly questions!