Open Diary: On Being Empty

Inspired by the open heart of Henri Nouwen, I am including my own thoughts that also are in some ways prayers too. You may think of this as an Open Diary. I will share them with you, not every day, but once in a while. Though these are notes I am writing to myself, some of them may have resonance with you. I hope so. 

Open Diary

You have given and you are empty. Not forever empty, but for now. Weary but not forgotten by God. You must, like you tell others to do, find your center and the place where Love resides. This Love is not you, but Other. Not only Other, but God who is and within and part of your being. Hold on to your first love and be known and healed.

Don’t try to be everything everyone hopes you are or wants you to be for them. Be sincere and true and let God find them where they are as well.

There is always a curve in the walk. A turn in the road and you are only given a piece of what lies ahead. This is because God loves you and knows you. Trust God in this. Be well in your soul as you set your heart into God’s hand.

Being empty means you are ready to be filled.

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The Wet Dog Diary: The Diving Dog

(Luna chewing a busy bone)
(Luna chewing a busy bone)

This is literally a Wet Dog Diary entry.

We took our chocolate Lab, Luna, to a friend’s cabin on Sunday. The cabin is situated right near a creek and Luna’s inbred water skills took over. Nature trumped.

Short background on the breed:
Labrador Retrievers are among the most popular registered breeds in the US, Canada, Australia, and the UK and came about from the St John water dog breed in the 16th century. They became the breed they are today in Newfoundland in the 18th century, and chocolate labs are a 20th century variety. Their coats are waterproof.

Luna’s excitement shifted to overdrive. She wanted to sniff everything and had an anteater quality for a bit as she trolled the grounds.

Then the water fowl got her attention. She was transfixed. She never barked, only made little communications in staccato canine mummers. Muscle taunt, ears pricked.

She was living the dream.

Luna the Diving Dog?
Soon she went up to a ledge near the creek and jumped right in without hesitation. No fear. Just joy. Instinct. Love of the whole thing.

The water was probably about 40° F so she didn’t stay in long. I’ve never seen her happier.

Something about that act of abandon pricked me and gave me a new connection to her. She was herself. She wasn’t what her previous owners said she was (a lab that strangely disliked water). She wasn’t some other kind of animal. She was in her God-given glory. That is beauty, I must tell you.

Connection
Something switched this weekend with Luna. She began looking into our eyes to see what was expected. She’s moved beyond being anxious at her new surroundings and understanding how our family (pack) operates to now being a part of it instead. It seems like the love is mutual now, for all of us, that the growing pains of learning a new family grouping have subsided. Trust in a deeper way has started.

Trust
It makes me wonder about how trust works in our own human hearts. Mutuality is vital to it. It’s the difference between emotionally “hedging your bet” and being a willing giver buoyed by the security that comes with a firmer social bond. At what point do we just forget about our hang ups and be who we are born to be? When do we dive?

What thoughts do you have on Trust today?

Sin and Riptide?

escape riptide daigramI love this handy-dandy safety chart on riptide. As you swim inland a rip current will prevent you from coming to shore. It will pull you under and drag you out to sea. Even in shallow water a strong swimmer can drown in rip current, so get wise to the wicked water and read it!

In the start of a new series leading up to Easter, my pastor (Jeff Byerly) began on Sunday talking about Recovery. Using themes from the 12 step program (and the Celebrate Recovery organization) he mentioned that even though we don’t all suffer the torments of pronounced addictions, the path to healing remains the same. This is one of the benefits of a support group like Celebrate Recovery. It functions like a life guarding outpost when the rip current is subtly strong.

Whether we tend to get into co-dependent relationships, spend time looking at pornography, succumb to retail therapy (shopping), fixate on eating too little (or feel the compulsion to eat too much) our compulsions and hang ups read like a similar story, a human story. A normal story.

The most piercing portion of the talk came when Jeff referenced some thoughts from C.S. Lewis…here I’m paraphrasing from Jeff’s paraphrase…but it goes something like…

–Bad people really don’t know that much about their badness— (maybe some of you Lewis fans can point me to the exact reference)

In sinning (which is the normal but deadly stuff of life), we go along with things as they come. We don’t distinguish much as we do mostly what we please. It’s only when we resist, try to consistently do what is right and good and when we try to go against the opposing and fierce force within and without that we run into a kind of riptide trying to pulling us under and kill us. Goodness then is a right mirror showing what still needs work in us. It reflects an ugly picture we don’t care to look at.

Paul really fleshes this out in Romans….What a great devotional read this makes. (Go on and click here for that)

So, it is in doing right where we come against the reflecting pool that shows us how bad are really are. Simply because we have terrible failures. We hit a snag. The contrast our need of rescue. Without the challenge of doing what we know is right, we never really assess the weight and scope of our sinful ways. But, my, how unpopular this concept is. Off-putting and out of vague. Time for a few reassuring pats on the back… But try to be unwaveringly good for a while, and we see how true it is.

And how you’ve ever noticed how self-satisfied people are? It’s probably because they aren’t making much of an effort at consistently doing what is right. They haven’t been humbled by failure. They’ve rarely seen felt this opposing monster for themselves because the room is too dark.

Maybe you’ve felt the same way too at times, “Well, I’m not so bad. I’m certain not as bad as most people.” Trust me, the day will not pass before this thought is likely to cross my mind as well.

 

It’s that kind of subtle self-dellusion that can thwart our willingness to be a part of the ongoing sanctification of  the Holy Spirit. He works us over and makes us over. It’s that mauling process, if you will, that does the hard work. So, Jesus said, “Only the sick need a doctor.” He was of course talking to sick people at the time, only they didn’t think of themselves that way. There’s nothing more hopeless than that.

If we ever went a whole week noticing and noting all the strays from what we know is right and good and set about to only do right…WATCH OUT. The proof of our weaknesses, problems, and short-comings will pop up like an angry bee sting.

 

Fatigued then, in a fight to do what’s right, sometimes we realize it is in he surrender to our powerlessness that we find rescue. It’s counter-intuitive as much as swimming out to sea is when you’re almost drowning. But it works. This is part of the powerful of observing a season of Lent.

The great relief from sin and that sort of deadly riptide comes from repentance and forgiveness. This theme is never more potent than when we celebrate on Resurrection Sunday. More on this sort of thing in posts to come. Please click for updates (right sidebar)

 

Have you felt this kind of riptide?

(You can leave me a voice message with your thoughts, if you’d like. Click the voicemail tab on the right)

rip current image found here: www.palmbeachpost.com

Male Domination and the Superbowl of 2013

Well, the spectacle of the Superbowl 2013 happened last night. I love the game. I even own a well-worn terrible towel…but I have to say this was one of the most disappointing, disturbing, and vacuous mega-sports and media events of recent memory.

I don’t have my thoughts worked out for an intelligent reflection and commentary, but I was referred to this article by Matthew Vos and it’s worth your time to read it, especially if you are a parent:

Prizes and Consumables: The Super Bowl as a Theology of Women

The way we consume iconic national events like the Super Bowl better depicts what we really believe about women than does anything else. For in the invisibility of normality, there we find our idolatry. [February 1, 2013 – By Matthew Vos]